She looked up and smiled. “Hey. I’ve been waiting up for you. Where did you go?” She shut off the TV.
I shrugged. “Just wanted to get out of the house for a little while. What’s up?”
“Sit down. I want to talk to you.” She patted the couch beside her.
“Okay…” I sat down and gave her a confused look. “I’m sitting. What do you want to talk about?”
“I’m not sure if you’re going to be really happy or really pissed off when I tell you this.”
“You’re moving out, aren’t you?” I asked, finally catching on.
She laughed. “Ha-ha. Nope. You’re still stuck with me. It’s about Chloe.”
She’s pregnant.
She finally dumped him.
He cheated on her, and she’s coming home.
The first thought made me sick to my stomach, but the others actually made me happy. I was a sick individual.
“Drake called me earlier. He and Chloe want to get married, but she’s apparently freaking out about planning a wedding. He wants me to get it all ready for them, and he’ll bring her back here. It’ll be a surprise for her. He gave me all the details—where he wants it, who to invite, and all that crap.”
Married. I closed my eyes and willed my hands to stay at my sides instead of finding something to throw. Married. She would be tied to him forever. She wouldn’t be my Chloe anymore. She would be Chloe Allen.
Fuck.
“When?” I spit out.
Amber shrugged, pretending not to notice the bite in my tone. “Whenever I have stuff ready. He only asked for a few things, so it’ll take me, like, a few days tops to get it ready.”
“Why are you helping him?”
She shrugged again. “Because he makes Chloe happy. He’s screwed up before, but I really think he cares enough about her to do what’s right. He’ll take care of her, Logan. You know he will.”
I shook my head. “How many times has he hurt her? He’ll do it again.”
“It’s her life to live, Logan—not ours.” She paused before continuing, “Are you upset because she’s marrying him? Or because she’s not marring you?”
I glared at her. “This has nothing to do with me, Amber.”
“You still love her, Logan. I’m not stupid. You think you hide your emotions so well, but you don’t.”
“Whatever. I just don’t want to see her get hurt again.”
“Damn it, Logan! Talk to me! I’m your best friend, too, not just Chloe!” Amber shouted, surprising me.
“What do you want me to say, Amber? That I never got over her? That I’m pissed off because of what they did to me? That I think this marriage is a mistake?” I shouted right back.
“That’s exactly what I want you to say. I want you to talk to me. Stop acting like nothing gets to you, and talk to me like you used to!”
“I don’t want your pity, Amber.”
She frowned. “I don’t pity you, Logan. I never have. What Chloe did to you was stupid, but I’ve never looked down on you or pitied you for it. We all fuck up. We all get fucked. It happens. You just have to remember that those things shouldn’t change who you are. You can’t stop living because of what they did to you.”
“I haven’t stopped living. What on earth are you talking about?” I asked.
“When’s the last time you went out on a date? Hell, when’s the last time you got laid?”
I laughed. “You don’t want me to answer that, Amber.”
“Yes, I do! Talk to me. I want to help you!”
“I’ve had sex every week for the last year!” I spit out. I didn’t even care anymore. I just wanted her to leave me alone.
Her eyes widened in shock. “You have a girlfriend, and you didn’t tell me? Who is she?”
“I don’t have a girlfriend. I haven’t had one since Chloe. Let it go, Amber, please.”
“You said you’ve had sex constantly. If not with a girlfriend, then who? Do you have a fuck buddy?” she asked.
“I have lots of fuck buddies, Amber.” I sighed. “I’m done talking about this. Just let it go.”
She studied me for a minute, unsure of what to say after my confession. “Fine, I’ll let it go—for now.”
My shoulders sagged in relief. “Thank you.”
“You’ll come to the wedding, won’t you? Chloe will want you there.”
I groaned. “Yes, I’ll be there.”
Whether I wanted to or not, I knew I would go. I’d do it for Chloe because I knew how bad it would make her feel if I wasn’t there. Once again, I was worrying about how she would feel. Instead, I should have been listening to my gut telling me this was a bad idea.
Amber leaned over and hugged me. “Thank you, Logan. I know this is hard for you, but I promise that one day, you’ll look back at the time you spent holding out for Chloe, and you’ll laugh at yourself. There’s a girl out there for you who will make you forget about Chloe completely.”
I snorted as I hugged her back, but I said nothing. Instead, I gently pushed her away and stood up. She called my name, but I ignored her as I walked back to my room. As soon as I was inside, I closed the door and peeled off my shirt and then my pants. I dropped down onto the bed in only my boxers, and I closed my eyes, pretending that I wasn’t shattering into a million pieces.
I just wanted to go fucking numb and stay that way.
Amber hadn’t been kidding when she said she would have the wedding ready to go within a few days. A week later, I was standing in the middle of a clearing overlooking Cheat Lake. I snorted at the irony. Of course they’d get married next to Cheat Lake. I was surprised I wasn’t Drake’s best man. That would complete the torment that this day was sure to be.
I’d been standing with Amber next to my car for over twenty minutes before anyone else showed up. Amber had beaten me here—shocker—but we were waiting for Chloe’s cousin, Danny, and Drake’s bandmates. I winced when I thought about the fact that I would have to see Jade today. This day really was one fucked-up mother. I couldn’t wait for it to be over. All I wanted to do was drink. No, I didn’t want to drink. I wanted to get drunk. That was saying something. Even when I went to the bars to find women, I would only have a drink or two.
“Can you at least pretend to smile?” Amber asked as she leaned on my car.
I flashed my teeth at her. “There. Happy?”
She laughed. “I asked you to smile, not act like you’re going to go cannibal on my ass and eat me.”
I rolled my eyes as her phone lit up and Adelitas Way’s “Criticize” started playing. Her face lit up as bright as her phone, and I knew instantly who it was—Adam, one of Drake’s bandmates. I knew she’d fucked around with him before everything went to shit between Chloe and me, but I had no idea if they were still messing around or not. It’d been almost a year since they last saw each other. I knew that because it’d been as long since I saw Jade—not that I was keeping track of the time though.
“Adam, Eric, and Jade are almost here. The preacher dude is following behind them,” Amber said as she typed into her phone.
I almost groaned at the stupid smile on her face. Adam was as bad, if not worse, than Drake had been. The guy would fuck anything with a vagina. I’d seen him leave Gold’s Pub with some seriously questionable chicks. Then again, I had been doing the same thing lately.
Eric was the only member of the band that I hadn’t been able to get a feel for. Drake and Adam had played the man-whore parts well, but Eric was different. I’d seen him with girls once or twice, but he had been nothing like the other two. Where Adam was loud and full of shit most of the time, Eric was quiet, thoughtful even. I didn’t know him at all, but I respected him.
Then, there was Jade. I sighed as I thought about her. I’d fucked up with her big time. I knew it, and she knew it. And I’d never even apologized for what I did to her. If I were being honest, I’d hoped that I wouldn’t run into her again. I was a coward.
Amber and I both looked up as two cars pulle
d into the clearing. A man stepped out of the second one—the preacher I assumed—while Eric, Adam, and Jade climbed out of the first one. Amber was smiling like a lunatic as she ran up to them. She gave a small hello to Jade and Eric before leaping into Adam’s arms. She began kissing him like a preacher wasn’t standing ten feet away from them. I laughed at her sudden show of affection, but it died in my throat when I saw Jade was watching me.
She’d changed her hair—again. I couldn’t keep up with her hair colors. She’d had it every color of the rainbow since I met her, but I had to admit that I liked how it was now the best. She’d left the strange-colored streaks out this time and dyed it a light brown. It fell around her shoulders in loose curls. Even curled, I could tell that it’d grown out quite a bit since the last time I saw her. She’d left off her dark eye shadow and liner today. The effect was devastatingly beautiful. Without the makeup to make her look like she could kick my ass, she looked angelic. Her skin glowed. She looked happy—at least, she did until she saw me. Then, a spark of anger appeared in her brown eyes.
Not thinking, I walked over to where she was standing. She watched me warily as I stopped in front of her.
“Hi,” I whispered.
She raised her chin, letting me know that she was still pissed. “Logan.”
We stood awkwardly, staring at each other, as I fought for a way to tell her I was sorry.
“Look, about what happened at Chloe’s aunt’s house—”
The anger in her brown eyes intensified. “Don’t you dare,” she whisper-shouted, “try to bring that up today. Just drop it!”
I nodded and looked away. I felt like she’d drop-kicked me in the stomach.
I’d screwed up with her so badly, both in my dorm room and at Chloe’s aunt’s house. I’d taken advantage of her when I never meant to.
We’d all been staying at Chloe’s aunt’s house—well, it was now her cousin’s house since her aunt had died—and I’d offered my room to Jade since there weren’t enough bedrooms for everyone. Things had been awkward at first, especially after I’d made a fool of myself when I kissed her in my dorm room. Since that night, we had barely spoken two words to each other. For some reason, I’d thought offering my room to her would make things right. Jade and I had shared the bed while we were there, both of us staying on our own side, which hadn’t been hard to do since it was a California king. And it had worked until the night before the band and Chloe left.
Something in me had snapped. Since that night in my dorm, I’d noticed more and more how beautiful Jade was, but I’d never acted on it. I’d been ashamed of kissing her while I was drunk, and I’d had my head so wrapped up with Chloe that I didn’t want to act on it. But the night before Jade had left Chloe’s cousin’s house, I had. Maybe it had been the fact that I hadn’t had sex in months or the fact that I could hear Amber and Adam going at it like animals in the bedroom next to us, or maybe it had been the way Jade’s tiny shorts showed too much. Before I could think about what I was doing, I’d rolled over and closed the space between us.
I shoved the pillow that had been serving as a barrier between us out of the way. I moaned as I pressed my body against Jade’s. My dick throbbed as I shoved it against her ass. I needed release, and I was hoping that Jade would help me out with that. My fingers found the hem of her shirt and slid underneath to the warm skin of her stomach. I explored her, slowly making my way up to her breasts. I slid my fingers under the cup of her bra and ran my thumb across her nipple. She moaned, but I could tell that she wasn’t awake yet.
I rolled her over onto her back and started kissing along her jaw and neck. She moaned again as I covered her mouth with mine. She still wasn’t fully awake, but she kissed me back. I sighed in relief as I moved back down to her neck. I pinched her nipple between my fingers as I ran my tongue over her skin.
“Logan, what are you doing?” she finally whispered.
I ignored her question as I continued to explore her neck. God, she tasted like heaven.
“Logan! What are you doing?” she asked again.
“Shh…just kiss me, please,” I whispered as I sought out her lips.
She hesitated for a second before kissing me back. Her lips parted, and I slipped my tongue inside to explore. Without realizing it, I’d climbed on top of her. I pressed my hips against hers, and we both moaned in unison.
Her chest was rising and falling rapidly. I smiled against her lips as she wrapped her arms around me. She shuddered when I pulled my mouth away from hers, and I nibbled on her ear. My thumb started stroking her breast again, and her breath hitched.
“Logan, stop.” She moaned, her body still begging for my touch.
I ignored her as I continued to taste and explore every bare inch of her skin.
“Logan, stop. I mean it.” She shoved against my chest.
I groaned as I rolled away. My dick was throbbing so much that it was actually painful. “What? What’s wrong?”
“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked angrily.
“Kissing you?”
“No, you were trying to molest me in my sleep. What the hell?”
“Don’t try that. You were as into it as I was,” I shot back.
“You didn’t even ask. You just took! That’s bullshit, Logan! I don’t fuck guys who I’m not dating. I’m not a whore.”
“I never said I thought you were!”
“You don’t have to. Your actions are enough!”
“What the fuck do you want from me, Jade? A ring? Jesus. I just wanted to fuck. I don’t want two kids and a picket fence.”
Her mouth dropped open in shock. “You’re nothing like I thought you were, Logan. You’re a total and complete asshole hiding behind an angel’s face!”
I watched as she stood and stomped out of the room. I groaned as I stood and walked to the bathroom. I was going to get off one way or another.
I had intended to get her alone the next morning, so I could apologize, but I’d never gotten the chance. She’d made sure of that by sticking to Eric like glue. The only time she had looked at me was when she was getting ready to climb onto their tour bus. She’d shot me a look that could slaughter kittens. That was the last time I’d seen her.
And now, it was obvious that she still hadn’t forgiven me.
I looked up as another car approached. I whistled under my breath at the sight of the expensive Mercedes. It pulled up next to me, and Danny—Chloe’s rich cousin from Maryland—stepped out.
He shot me a grin. “Logan, long time, buddy.”
I walked over and gave him a quick hug, pretending not to feel the heat of Jade’s gaze on my back.
I liked Danny a lot. He was rich as hell, but no one would ever know it by meeting him on the street. Everything about him—his clothes, his shaggy hair, the Converse on his feet—screamed typical twenty-year-old. I knew better though.
When his mother had died, she’d left him millions of dollars, real estate out the ass, and several large companies. The guy wouldn’t have to work a day in his life if he didn’t want to, but he was still going to college while his mother’s lawyer and close personal friend watched over her estate. He’d told me once that he planned to finish college like a normal guy, and then he would dive right into managing her companies.
“Now that we’re all here, let me explain everything,” Amber called from behind me.
We all turned toward her, waiting on instructions. She glanced around nervously as she realized that everyone was giving her their undivided attention.
“Okay, so…yeah, Drake said Chloe wanted a low-key wedding, which is why we are the only ones here. He wants the ceremony to take place over there”—she pointed to a spot overlooking Cheat Lake—“with Eric as best man. Obviously, I’ll be Chloe’s maid of honor. The rest of you just have to stand around and look pretty. Drake texted me when they landed, so they should be here any minute. Any questions?”
We shook our heads. This was probably the easiest wedding in the history o
f the universe. I just hoped that it wouldn’t turn out to be a joke in a few months. As much as I hated the thought of Chloe and Drake being together, I didn’t think I could handle seeing Chloe get devastated by him yet again. It would crush her.
I felt my stomach knot up when I heard a car approaching. I looked up to see Drake and Chloe pulling into the clearing. As soon as she stepped out of the car, the confused look on her face made it obvious that she had no idea what was going on. She looked beautiful in a white sundress. Her blonde hair had been straightened, and was hanging over her shoulders. I couldn’t help but grin at the purple streaks running through it. They were so Chloe.
“What’s going on?” Chloe asked as she approached us.
“I thought you would have figured it out by now.” Drake grinned down at her.
“I have no clue what you guys are up to.”
“You’re an idiot, Chloe. You’re about to get married,” Amber said as she handed her a bouquet of flowers.
Chloe’s mouth dropped open as she looked from Amber to Drake to where everyone else was standing. “No way.”
“Way,” Amber said matter-of-factly. “Come on, let’s get started.”
“Did you plan this by yourself?” Chloe asked Drake.
“Nope. Amber helped. I called and explained to her that you were freaking out about planning a wedding, so I wanted to have the most non-wedding possible. I told her about this spot, and she arranged for everyone to meet here. The only thing that makes this a wedding is the preacher, who is hiding behind Adam and the flowers.”
Her eyes filled with happy tears, and I felt like I was getting a swift kick to the balls.
“I don’t even know what to say.”
“All you need to say is, I do. I think you can handle that.” Drake took her hand and led her to where everyone else was standing.
Chloe smiled and hugged everyone, obviously shocked that we had all been in on the plan. When her eyes landed on me, they softened.
“I’m so happy for you, Chloe,” I whispered. I kissed her cheek and hugged her. “You deserve to be happy.”
“Thank you,” she whispered back.
Toxic: Logan's Story Page 5
