“So, want to give me a little Jade history before we get there?” Logan asked.
We’d just stopped at a small diner for lunch and were now back on the interstate. We had less than an hour before we arrived in Crossville.
I tapped my finger against my chin as we merged back onto the interstate. “Let’s see. My stepdad’s name is David, and my mom’s name is Elizabeth. I look nothing like my mom. My little sister’s name is Bethaney, and I look nothing like her either. I grew up in a middle-class family. David was a pharmacist while Mom stayed home with us. Crossville is a small town, so there isn’t a lot to do there. We have a bowling alley, a movie theater, a Sonic, and a Walmart. I didn’t really have any friends, except for Mikey and his friends. My sister, on the other hand, was a social butterfly.”
Logan nodded. “Where are we going when we get there?”
“Well, I thought we could rent a hotel room and get settled in tonight. Then, we can go confront my parents and try to steal Bethaney away tomorrow. For all I know, she doesn’t even live at home anymore. She’s nineteen now. Once I meet up with her, I’ll know how long we’ll stay in town. If she hates me, we’ll leave. If she wants to spend time with me, maybe we can look for someplace to stay for a month or two.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with seeing your stepdad again? You know you don’t have to. There’s got to be another way to get in touch with Bethaney. Maybe go to one of her friend’s houses and have them call her?”
I shook my head. “Nope. I’m going to confront the bastard. He made me feel like I was worthless, and I can’t wait to tell him just how much I’ve accomplished since I ran away. I want him to know that he didn’t win. I’m not afraid of him anymore.”
“Fair enough.”
We were both quiet as we sped toward my past. I couldn’t help but wonder what Bethaney looked like now. When I’d left, she was nothing more than a mouthy preteen. I couldn’t imagine her all grown-up. To me, she would always be my baby sister.
“Do you plan to look up Mikey while we’re here?” Logan asked.
His tone had indicated that he didn’t care, but I knew better. He was back to gripping the steering wheel like he wanted to break it. I couldn’t hide my smile. He was jealous—because of me.
“Nah. I’m over him, and I have been for a long time. I’m sure he feels the same. There’s no point in finding him. All he would do is yell at me for leaving and then send me on my way.”
Logan seemed satisfied with my answer. “Okay then.”
We started passing signs leading us to the exit for Crossville. My palms turned sweaty when I realized I was really going home. No, I was practically home now. Nerves fluttered in my stomach as I tried to keep my breathing normal.
“You okay?” Logan asked as he took the exit.
“I’m fine,” I said in a small voice. I wasn’t fooling either of us though.
“Jade, we can turn around right now and go home. No one will ever have to know that we came here. Or we could even take a road trip like we told everyone. It doesn’t matter to me. You’re in control here.”
You’re in control. I sat up straighter and forced the butterflies in my stomach to take a flying leap. I. Am. In. Control. I can do this.
“Nope. We’ve come this far. I’m seeing this through to the end, no matter what.”
“Which way?” Logan asked when we stopped at the end of the exit ramp.
“Right. There’s a motel a few miles down the road. We can stay there until we know what we’re doing.”
Neither of us spoke as Logan drove toward the motel. Once we arrived, I checked us into a room with double beds. Logan and I each carried our overnight bags up to the room. There was no point in carrying all of our things up if we were only staying here for a day or two. If I remembered right, there was another place that rented rooms by the month. We could move there if things worked out since we’d be in town for more than a few days.
“Which bed do you want?” I asked once we were inside the room.
It wasn’t anything fancy, but it would do. I actually preferred staying in places like this rather than the five-star rooms the label had put us in. It was also nice not to be swamped by security. I wasn’t Breaking the Hunger’s Jade here. I was just plain old Jade, and I loved it. I didn’t have to pretend for anyone, especially not Logan.
“Doesn’t matter to me,” Logan said as he dropped his bag onto the floor in front of the dresser.
I shrugged as I dropped my bag in front of the bed closest to the window. “I’ll take the window then.”
He grinned as he lay down on the other bed. “What do you want to do for dinner tonight?”
I couldn’t help but smirk at how domesticated he sounded. We were talking like we were an old married couple.
“Let’s order room service. I’m too tired to go out tonight.” I grabbed a menu off the hotel nightstand.
The prices inside were ungodly, but it was better than taking a chance of being seen in town before I was ready to let anyone know that I was here. I wanted the element of surprise on my side. If David knew I was back, it would give him time to prepare. I wasn’t going to let that happen.
Once room service arrived, Logan and I sat together on my bed, eating our food and watching TV. Everything was fine until the food was gone. It was like a switch flipped, and we’d gone from two friends hanging out to two people who were very attracted to each other and sitting on a bed together. I couldn’t look away from him, and he couldn’t seem to bring himself to tear his gaze away from me.
The temperature in the room went from cool to scorching hot in about two seconds flat. I waited, anticipation running through my veins like a drug, until he finally made his move. I closed my eyes a split second before his lips found mine. The oxygen was sucked from the room as I lost myself in his kisses. They were nothing like the one in the car. These were sweet, gentle even. My fingers found his hair and tugged on it until we fell back onto the bed.
I felt his hard body everywhere. My body hummed with need as I tried to press closer to him. Our kisses became fast and furious as primal instinct took over and controlled us both. He bit down on my bottom lip, and I moaned into his mouth. God, all I wanted was to feel his skin against mine.
I started tugging on his shirt, trying to pull it up and over his head. He pulled away, gasping, and gently moved my hand away from his shirt. I questioningly looked up into his blue eyes. They had darkened to a blue so deep that they matched the sea. The only thing I could see in them was lust. So, why had he stopped me?
“Too fast,” he whispered before kissing my nose.
“Too fast?” I questioned.
He nodded. “I’m not going to screw this up before we even get started, regardless of what my body is demanding.”
I could feel his body’s demand as it dug into my thigh.
“We’re not going to screw it up, Logan. Take what you want from me. I don’t care.”
He groaned. “Don’t say shit like that, Jade. It makes it ten times harder for me to get off this bed.”
I was about to tell him that there was no way in hell I would let him move when he pushed away from me.
“I’m going to go take a shower.”
I watched in silence as he dug clothes out of his bag and walked to the bathroom. As soon as he closed the door behind him, I let out a loud sigh. If he didn’t want to give me what I wanted, I’d have to change his mind. I could be very convincing when I wanted to be. Poor Logan had no idea what I had in store for him.
I was up early the next morning. Between my evening make-out session with Logan and the thought of seeing my family again, sleep had evaded me. After tossing and turning for several hours, I finally gave up and crawled out of bed. Logan was still asleep as I walked silently to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me, so he couldn’t hear me moving around. I didn’t want to wake him up.
After relieving my screaming bladder, I washed my hands and then brushed my teeth. Once I was sat
isfied that I wouldn’t kill anyone with my morning breath, I wiped my mouth and stared at my reflection in the mirror. The girl in the mirror stared at me defiantly. She looked confident. She looked like she could take on the world. Well¸ once her hair was tamed and her makeup was applied, she could.
I closed my eyes and tightly gripped the sink. I vowed that it would be the only sign of weakness I showed today. I wouldn’t let any of them know how scared I was of what today might bring.
I started on my hair first. I’d let it air day last night as I slept, and it was a disaster. I washed it again quickly and then blow-dried it straight. Next, I applied mascara and eyeliner to my eyes, both black to make them look darker. I never bothered with eye shadow unless I was performing. Once I finished, I applied my foundation and checked myself over carefully. With my dark makeup and my hair flowing around me in black and red strands, I looked like someone no one would want to fuck with. Sure, I was barely over five foot two, but that didn’t seem to matter when my body was living off of hate and anger. Those two emotions could turn anyone into the heartless bitch staring back at me.
Only, I wasn’t a heartless bitch, not anymore. When I’d left Crossville six years ago, I had definitely been one. But spending time with my band and Logan had softened me. While I was no longer heartless, I also wasn’t someone to be fucked with. Being one of the few women in the rock industry, I couldn’t afford to ever let my guard down.
I crept back into the room to see Logan in the same position he’d been in earlier. Careful not to wake him, I unzipped my bag slowly and pulled out an outfit for the day that consisted of a T-shirt, jeans, and my Converse with the lime green shoestrings. I loved those fuckers. They were by far my favorite pair. I grinned as I shimmied out of my sleep shorts and tank top before slipping on my Breaking the Hunger T-shirt. I totally planned to rub the band’s success in my stepdad’s face as much as possible.
“That’s a view I definitely don’t mind waking up to,” Logan mumbled from his bed.
I froze for a split second before straightening my back and turning to face him. I suddenly felt shy. Without the lust from last night running through my veins, I didn’t feel quite as brave as I realized just how much of my body Logan could see. I was standing in the middle of our room with nothing more than a T-shirt and a black thong. No one had seen me like this since Mikey.
“Morning,” I mumbled as I grabbed my jeans and pulled them on quickly.
Logan laughed as he sat up in bed. He looked adorable with his shaggy hair sticking up all around his head. “I never took you for the shy type.”
“I’m not shy,” I said quickly.
“Then, why did you jump in your pants faster than I could blink?” When I didn’t answer, he smirked. “That’s what I thought.”
“Get dressed, so we can get out of here.” I sat down on my bed and started to pull on my socks and shoes.
I heard him moving around behind me. I collapsed back on the bed as soon as I heard the bathroom door shut. Only a few minutes later, Logan stepped back out, fully dressed and hair tamed.
“I was going to change in here, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted a strip show, too,” he teased.
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.” Yes, please. I’d give anything to see you strip down to nothing.
We stopped at a local diner for breakfast before heading to my parents’ house.
I kept my mind blank as we crossed town. Now was not the time to lose my nerve, and I would if I really thought about what I was doing. When I told Logan to turn onto my old street, I sat up straight in my seat. My body was rigid as the house came into view.
“Here,” I said as I pointed at my old house.
Logan pulled into the driveway. I stared out the windshield at the house. It hadn’t changed much since I left. Now, I could see where the roofing tiles were darkening with age, and the blue siding was starting to fade. I couldn’t help but find that strange. David had been all about making sure things looked perfect. At least, he would make sure things looked perfect on the outside. He had always worried about what our neighbors thought. If only he’d worried about the people, especially me, living inside of his home as much as he did his reputation, my life would have been so different.
“You ready for this?” Logan asked from beside me.
I nodded. “Yeah. Might as well get it over with.” I opened my door and started to climb out.
He grabbed my arm to stop me. “I’m coming with you. I won’t let you do this on your own.”
My heart softened. “You don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t. I want to.” He released me and opened his own door.
He followed behind me as we walked up the sidewalk to where the front door was. I took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. When no one came to the door, I rang it again. Still, there was no answer. I frowned as I rang it one more time. Nothing.
“Fuck,” I muttered.
Mom was always home. Always. The only time she would leave was when she went to the grocery store or when she went somewhere with David. Most of the time, they would only go out together at night, usually for a private dinner or a party.
“No one’s home,” Logan said, pointing out the obvious.
I sighed in defeat and started walking back to the car. Now what? All my plans had been centered around someone being home. We’d have to go back to the hotel and wait for a few hours now. I hated waiting.
“Where to next, boss?” Logan joked as we climbed back into the car.
“Our room, I guess.”
“Are you sure? Isn’t there someplace else we could try?”
I shook my head. “I have no clue where they could be. David was almost never home, but Mom was home all the time. Obviously, things have changed.”
“What about your sister?” he asked.
“What about her?”
“Do you have any idea where she might be?”
I shook my head. “She could be anywhere.”
“You said she had a bunch of friends, right? Maybe she’s with one of them.”
I thought for a few minutes. “She had one friend that she was super close to—Lily. She lives on the other side of town. Well, she used to. I don’t know if she would still be at her parents’ house or not.”
“Well, it’s summer break, so she might be. It can’t hurt to stop and ask.”
I shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”
It was better than going back to our room and waiting. I gave him directions as he drove through town. It was a little surreal how everything looked exactly the same as it had when I left. For some stupid reason, I’d expected it to be completely different, but it was still sleepy little Crossville.
It took us a few minutes to find Lily’s house. I’d only been there once or twice to pick up Bethaney when Mom couldn’t, and that had been years ago. Finally, I recognized the mailbox. That was how I’d remembered it before. Instead of having a normal box, they’d had one custom made to look like a bird. No joke. The thing looked ridiculous.
Two cars were parked in the driveway, so we were forced to park on the street. I walked across their perfectly manicured lawn and up to the front door. I knocked softly since I saw no doorbell.
A few minutes later, a middle-aged woman opened the door and gave me a questioning look. “Can I help you?”
“Uh…yeah. This is going to sound strange, but I’m looking for my little sister, Bethaney. She and Lily used to be friends a long time ago, so I thought I’d check here.”
The woman’s eyes glanced behind me to where Logan was standing, and then she looked back to me. As she stared at me, recognition dawned.
Her mouth dropped open for a split second before her eyes turned cold. “Jade?”
I nodded.
“You have some nerve coming back to this town after all this time.” Her voice was cold but calm.
I raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Look, I’m not here to explain myself to you. I’m just looking for my sister. Do you
know where she is?”
She stared at me for a minute. I expected her to threaten me with the police if I didn’t leave.
Instead, she called out to someone behind her, “Bethaney, can you come here, please?”
A few seconds later, I saw a young girl come into view.
She barely glanced at me before turning her attention to the woman. “What do you need, Marie?”
“Someone is here to see you.”
My sister’s eyes shifted to me. Once she got a good look at me, she stumbled back with her mouth hanging open. She opened and closed it a few times, but no words came out. I knew how she felt. All I could do was stare at my baby sister, but she wasn’t a baby anymore.
She’d always been tiny like me, but she’d obviously hit a growth spurt sometime in the last six years. She was taller now, probably close to five foot seven. Her hair was the same light blonde it had always been, but it was cut short now. When I’d left, it had hung halfway down her back. Now, it barely brushed her shoulders. Her build was slim, like our mom’s and mine. Her eyes were the same chocolate brown as mine. It was something else we’d both inherited from our mother.
“Beth?” I finally managed to get out.
My voice seemed to snap her out of it.
Her mouth finally closed, and she took a step closer. “What are you doing here, Jade?” she asked quietly.
“I came back to find you. I’ve missed you.” I glanced at Marie, who was still glaring at me, before looking back to Bethaney. “Can we talk? Alone.”
Bethaney nodded as she walked past Marie and closed the front door behind her. She walked over to a porch swing and sat down without taking her eyes off of me.
I sat down in a chair that was across from her. I wanted to grab her and hold her tight, but I wasn’t sure if she’d be okay with that. The way Marie had greeted me made me think that maybe I wasn’t wanted, even by my sister.
Toxic: Logan's Story Page 10
