Bunco Babes Tell All

by Maria Geraci

  Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on her part.

  42

  “It’s called house humping,” said Shea. She bit the edge of her thumbnail and looked around the table set for thirteen. “Moose read about it in GQ. Supposedly, it’s all the rage.”

  “I knew it!” said Kitty. Shea blinked at her in surprise. “I mean, I suspected Moose was getting GQ, but I figured it was just for the pictures. He’s been dressing so well lately.”

  “Leave it to Moose to read the articles too,” said Pilar.

  They’d all gone to the Bistro. Frida had banished a curious Ed to the upstairs apartment while she’d made cafe lattes and Kitty and Pilar had scrambled eggs on the big industrial stovetop.

  “How many times have you done it?” Tina asked.

  Lorraine leaned forward in her seat. “Have you ever been caught? I mean, before us?”

  Shea flushed. “Almost. We’ve only done it a few times.”

  “I can’t believe I thought you were having an affair with Walt Walters,” Kitty said.

  “Or that you wanted to buy a house in Dolphin Isles,” added Pilar.

  Shea’s eyes rolled to the back of her head. “Please.”

  “How did it start?” Pilar asked.

  “A couple of weeks ago Moose had to drop some papers off at Dolphin Isles for Walt Walters. He’s a client,” she clarified. “They were talking money, and I got bored and started wandering around the model. It’s hideous, you know,” she said, with a serious look on her face. “So I started thinking about how I would have done the décor, the colors I would have used, that sort of thing. Moose found me in the bathroom, and we could hear Walt talking to another couple out in the living room. One thing led to another and before I knew it, Moose was ripping off my panties and we were having sex.”

  Moose had ripped off her panties? A vision of Steve doing the exact same thing on the patio at Mexico Beach flashed in her head. She cleared her throat.

  Shea took a sip of her coffee. “It was really exciting,” she continued. “We’re each other’s first, and with the girls and all, we don’t get much opportunity for spontaneity. After we realized we’d gotten away with it, it became a game. So we kept going back on the pretense of buying a house.”

  “Wow,” said Mimi.

  “Why didn’t you tell us?” asked Pilar.

  Shea looked down at her coffee. “I was mortified. I mean, how many couples do you know who run off to open houses to have sex?”

  Kitty laughed. “At least you didn’t have sex in one of my open houses.” She instantly sobered. “Shit. I wonder if anyone’s ever done it while I’ve been doing an open house?”

  “I’m sorry I lied to you, Kit,” said Shea. “I felt horrible. I made Moose promise last night was it.”

  “How horrible do you feel?” asked Kitty.

  Shea stilled. “What do you mean?”

  “Horrible enough to give me your secret frozen margarita recipe?”

  “Not that horrible.”

  “Do you think you and Moose will really stop house humping?” asked Pilar.

  “We’ve been banned from Dolphin Isles. Walt was furious when he found out Moose was stringing him along about buying a house.”

  “Poor Walt,” said Kitty, unable to keep from smirking.

  “Poor Moose,” said Pilar. “I thought he was going to die of embarrassment. Do you think he’ll ever be able to face us again?”

  “Who cares about his face? I never knew Moose had such a great ass,” said Mimi.

  The Babes laughed.

  Pilar caught Kitty’s eye. “I’m sorry about last night,” she said. She grabbed Kitty’s hand and squeezed it. “Nick and I got into a huge fight when I got home.”

  “Oh no,” Shea said.

  Kitty shook her head. “I had no right to get in the middle of you and Nick and this vasectomy thing.”

  “No. You did. I’ve just been under a lot of pressure at work lately. I wanted this partner thing so badly. At least, I thought I did. Taking time off to have Anthony put me on the slow track. If I have another baby, I can kiss a partnership at Hillaman, Soloman, and Kaufman good-bye.”

  “Those assholes,” Shea muttered. “We should have known this would happen. I mean, the whole law firm ends in ‘man.’ What you need is a law firm with only women.”

  “What you need is to quit that job,” said Kitty.

  Pilar took a sip of her coffee. “That’s exactly what I’m thinking of doing.”

  “Quitting your job?” Shea asked.

  “The fight turned out to be just what Nick and I needed.” Pilar’s face went a little red.

  Kitty grinned. “I take it the two-month abstinence streak is over?”

  “Let’s just say Shea wasn’t the only one getting a little nooky last night.”

  “Now there’s a word from my generation!” her mother piped up. Kitty glanced down the table, where her mother sat eating eggs and listening in on their chatter. No one seemed to mind she was there.

  “I promised Nick that I would cut down on my hours. And if that doesn’t work out, then I’ll find a less stressful job. We’re going to put off talking about a baby for now, but maybe next year . . .” she said, smiling.

  “I have a confession to make,” Kitty said. “Well, it’s not really a confession, since almost everyone knows.” Thanks to my mother, she wanted to add. “I lied to everyone about my relationship with Steve. We’ve sort of been seeing each other for the past few weeks.”

  Shea came to attention. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

  “The truth?” Kitty thought about it a minute. “I knew you guys didn’t like him—”

  “We never said we didn’t like him,” Pilar said. “We don’t even know him.”

  “Exactly. You don’t know him, but you guys had already labeled him a loser. You made that pretty clear the night of my Bunco birthday bash. But here’s the thing. He’s not a loser. I liked him. I mean, I really liked him. And I didn’t want to hear the two of you trash-talk him.”

  Shea looked stunned. “We wouldn’t have trash-talked him!”

  Pilar was quiet for a few seconds. “Yeah, we would have,” she admitted. “He’s not good enough for you, Kit. Look how he lied to you about the whole Dolphin Isles thing.”

  “Is anyone good enough for me, Pilar?”

  Pilar clamped her mouth shut.

  “So he’s been married and divorced three times. But he’s also a decent guy. And he’s smart and sexy and he makes me laugh and . . .”

  Shea gasped. “Oh God, Kit, he’s your Crash!”

  “No, he can’t be. I mean—”

  “Are you in love with him?” Pilar asked softly.

  Two days ago, she would have answered yes. “I’ve only known him a few weeks.”

  “I knew I was in love with Brett the minute I met him,” said Tina. “It can happen.”

  Frida and Lorraine nodded in agreement.

  “How does he feel about you?” Pilar asked.

  “He wants me to go to Hawaii with him. He . . . said he was crazy about me—”

  “Kit!” Pilar said, grabbing her arm. “That means he loves you!”

  “It does?”

  “Everyone knows when a guy says he’s crazy about you that he really means he loves you,” said Shea.

  The Babes nodded.

  Kitty frowned. Was there some secret relationship manual out there she’d never heard about?

  “It’s actually the precursor to ‘I love you,’ ” clarified Pilar. “But it’s the next step.”

  “I’m not so sure about that. He told me he wasn’t in the market for a fourth mistake.”

  “Why does he think your relationship is going to be a mistake?” Mimi asked.

  Her mother looked up from her scrambled eggs. “Because he doesn’t trust his instincts.”

  Kitty couldn’t help but feel a tiny surge of anger. “Is that the reason you’re going to divorce Larry? Because your ‘instincts’ tell you it’s o
ver?”

  “I’m not going to divorce Larry,” her mother announced.

  “Since when? I thought you were through with him!” Kitty suddenly remembered about her lost commission. “Mom, is this because now I can’t buy the house? We’ll find another buyer, I promise. I’ll list it first thing in the morning.”

  “I’m not putting the house on the market. I talked to Larry this afternoon. I’m driving back to St. Augustine in the morning.” Her mother smiled regretfully. “You were right. I should never have made him choose between Pam and me. It wasn’t fair.”

  Did her mother just admit she was right?

  “I really do love Larry, you know. I just . . .” Her mother shook her head. “I get a little crazy sometimes. But that’s me. I’m impulsive. I talk before I think.”

  “It’s not too late, Mom. People change.”

  “That’s the thing, hon. I don’t want to change that about me. Sure, being impulsive has gotten me in trouble, but it’s made me happy too.”

  Kitty must have looked skeptical, because her mother went on. “Being impulsive isn’t the worst thing. If I hadn’t followed my heart and taken a chance with Larry, I’d probably still be here in Whispering Bay. Lonely and divorced from Jim.”

  “Mom—”

  “Don’t look at me like that. I know you think I broke up Larry’s marriage, but the truth is, he was separated when I met him. I love him, Katherine. He’s probably the only man who’s really understood me. Not that I didn’t love your father or Jim. But I think in the grand scheme of things they were just the warm-ups before I met the real love of my life. I love Larry enough to crawl back and suck up to Pam. And if that’s what I have to do to win him again, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

  Her mother was going to follow her heart? Kitty had never heard her talk like this before. “Are you and Viola in some sort of conspiracy against me?”

  “Not everything is about you, hon.”

  Huh? “I’m sorry for yelling at you in front of everyone,” Kitty said. “I didn’t mean it. About being selfish and all.”

  “Yes, you did,” her mother said.

  Kitty thought about it a second. “Okay, I guess I did.”

  Her mother smiled.

  Kitty glanced at the faces around the table. It was weird, talking to her mother like this in front of the Babes, but then, for the past ten years, they’d been there for all the big events in her life. It seemed only natural that they’d be here for this conversation too.

  Her mother pulled a piece of paper from her purse. “This is the deed to the house. I want you to have it.”

  “Mom, I told you. I can’t afford to buy it now.”

  “I didn’t say I was going to sell it to you. You’ll have to pay the insurance and the taxes, of course. But the house is yours, free and clear. You said you think your grandmother would have wanted you to donate that commission money. Well, I think she would have wanted you to have this house too.”

  “But what about your inheritance?”

  “The house might be my inheritance, but you’re my legacy.” She smiled. “Anyway, who needs an inheritance when you have love?”

  The Babes all began to clap. Shea wiped away a tear. “That’s the most beautiful speech I’ve ever heard.”

  “I wish my mom would talk like that,” said Pilar.

  Kitty’s mother smiled, obviously pleased with herself. “See, hon, I can do girl talk. I can be—”

  “Mom, please don’t say hip.”

  “So what are you going to do now, Kit?” asked Pilar.

  “About what?”

  Shea and Pilar gave each other the look.

  Kitty slapped her napkin on the table. “Okay, can I just say that I really, really, really hate it when you two do that?”

  “Maybe we wouldn’t do it if you’d stop being so obtuse,” said Shea.

  “If you’re talking about Steve, there’s nothing to do. He’s going to Hawaii on vacation and when he comes back we’ll be friends. He’s even invited me to coffee already.” She figured she’d leave the tea part out. For now.

  “That sounds awesome!” Pilar gushed in a fake voice. “The guy of your dreams is flying off into the sunset, but you’ll just wait here till he comes back so you can have coffee together.”

  “What do you want me to do?” Kitty asked, exasperated. “Chase him down? Tell him that . . . that maybe I love him? That maybe he’s my Crash?”

  “That’s exactly what we want you to do,” Shea said.

  “Have we ever steered you wrong before?” Pilar asked.

  Kitty raised her brows.

  “Okay, in the last five minutes have we ever steered you wrong?” Shea clarified.

  In the past (with the exception of the last few weeks) she’d always taken their advice. She realized now it had kept her safe. But what Shea and Pilar were advocating wasn’t safe. What if Steve had changed his mind about wanting to take her to Hawaii? What if he rejected her?

  What if Susan Sarandon had slammed the door in Kevin Costner’s face in Bull Durham?

  But she didn’t, did she?

  She opened the door and he walked in and they made wild and passionate love and then they lived happily ever after. Well, after a couple more hurdles. But the point was, they did get their happy ending.

  “Just do it, Kitty!” yelled Tina and Liz in unison, followed by the rest of the Babes. The chant seemed to go on forever. Kitty shook her head and laughed. It was a Nike moment if ever there was one.

  Maybe you should listen to your gut more, instead of your friends.

  Only this time, her gut was telling her to listen to her friends.

  “Hey! I have a question,” she said. “How did you all know to go to the meeting tonight?”

  “Your mom called us,” said Frida. “She said you needed us.”

  Kitty went over to her mother and gave her a kiss.

  “What’s that for?” her mother asked.

  “For being my mom,” Kitty said.

  “I’m afraid I can’t take all the credit,” her mother said. “It was Steve who told me about the meeting. He asked me to call your friends. Your real friends. He said you would be needing them.”

  Her throat suddenly felt tight. She turned and blew a gigantic air kiss to the rest of the Babes. “And that’s for being . . . well, you. All of you. I love you guys!”

  “We love you too!” they shouted.

  43

  She pulled her BMW convertible in front of Gus’s house. Suddenly it seemed silly to come barging over in the middle of the night. Maybe she should come back tomorrow when everyone was awake. She hadn’t really thought about what she’d actually say to Steve.

  Before she lost her nerve, she pulled out her cell phone and hit his name on her search list. At least this way, she wouldn’t wake up Gus and Nathan by knocking on the door.

  Steve answered on the fifth ring. “Yeah?” He sounded groggy.

  “Oh, I woke you up. I’m sorry, I’ll just come back tomorrow,” she babbled. The cell phone nearly slipped from her hand, her palm was so sweaty.

  She heard the rustling of sheets. “Where are you?”

  “Here. Outside of Gus’s.”

  There was a moment of silence. “Don’t go anywhere.”

  Her phone went dead. A couple of seconds later, the front door to the house opened. Steve wore a pair of shorts and was slipping a T-shirt over his head. He was barefoot and his hair was sticking on its ends. He looked so utterly sexy, she wanted to cry.

  He rubbed his hand over his face. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I . . .”

  He didn’t let her finish. Instead, he grabbed her hand and led her to the beach. They walked for a bit without saying anything, but he didn’t let go of her hand.

  That was good, wasn’t it?

  “Here’s the thing,” she began. Good Lord. There went her heart again. Thumping like it was going to jump through her rib cage. After tonight, she was going to have to go the E
R and get an EKG just to make sure everything was all right. “You said I was a good Realtor because I was . . . attractive and smart and not too aggressive, but mostly because I knew how to push the right buttons.”

  He nodded slowly. “I remember.”

  “So I came here tonight to seal the deal.”

  “The deal?”

  “Between us. I think I finally figured out how to push the right buttons. Your buttons.”

  “Oh yeah?” It was too dark to see his eyes clearly, but she just knew he was gazing at her with that smoky look he got.

  “You told me before that I should listen to my gut. And you were right. But you’re not taking your own advice.”

  “I’m not?”

  “Let me finish. I know you said you’re not looking for a long-term relationship, and that you’re not willing to make mistake number four, but I also know something else. Something I really believe deep down inside me.” She took a deep breath. “I’m not a mistake. I’m the best thing that ever happened to you. You said I was the nice one. Well, I’m nice. But I’m also sharp. And it just so happens that a lot of guys find me hot.”

  The corners of his mouth twitched.

  “So if you still want me to go to Hawaii with you, I’m ready. Only this isn’t some quickie romance going on here. Remember that first night we hooked up? I said I wasn’t going to fall in love with you and you said you weren’t going to fall in love with me either. Well, we were both wrong.”

  Silence.

  Oh God. It was coming. He was going to slam the proverbial door in her face. He was going to—

  “Did I say you were a good Realtor?”

  She nodded, too frozen to speak.

  “You’re not good; you’re fucking brilliant.”

  “I am?” she whispered hoarsely.

  “I was going to make you the same exact speech this morning. Only I was going to wait till a decent hour.”

  “What were you going to say?”

  “I didn’t have it rehearsed or anything. But it went something like this: I don’t want to go to Hawaii unless you go with me. I know I’ve made mistakes in the past and I’m no prize, but if you give me a chance, I want another shot.”

  “That was it?”