The Fraternity Files

by Stephanie Joeline Kerfoot

  “Yes,” Kevin moaned. He gripped his brothers’ hands, and stifling his sobs in the top of the chair, he let Steve’s comforting words run through his head. ‘It is my duty to set an example,’ he thought, ‘an example my friends and classmates can follow. Steve’s proud of me,’ the thought continued as tears of a more cathartic kind started to streak his face. ‘I’m going to do a better job,’ he vowed to himself, and he meant it. He would eventually return to that resolution and stick to it, faithfully, but there was a lot of emotion for him to work through between now and then. He had a lot of hurt feelings that it would take time to heal, not the least of which was his anger towards Danny. Kevin, at the moment, was feeling comforted by his brothers’ presence, Steve’s words, and the acceptance on a deep level that he did deserve this punishment. His impulse was to forgive and forget and try harder, but Kevin was young and not yet fully aware of how complex human emotions can be. He did not yet understand that sometimes our own feelings betray us, making rifts harder to repair than we want them to be.

  He inhaled deeply as he felt the paddle leave his bottom, and he clutched Danny and Ryan’s hands harder. They returned the pressure, and the room became still once more. There was not a whisper or a breath to be heard, anywhere. “First,” Steve’s voice rang out, “there will be no more back talking! Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” Kevin’s voice shook. WHACK! The paddle landed hard in the center of his bottom and Kevin threw his head back. “AHH! ONE!”

  “There will be no more whining, sulking, stamping, slamming doors, throwing things or other tantrum like behavior! Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” Kevin sobbed. WHACK! “OWW!” Kevin shot up in his impulse to reach, but Ryan and Danny kept his hands firmly grasped in their own. “Two!” their little brother choked.

  “There will be no more vulgar language directed at your fraternity brothers, ever, at any time! Is that understood?” Kevin bit his lip as he hid his face again in the top of the chair. It was so hard to answer when he knew his effort would only be rewarded with another stinging smack across his bottom. “Answer me, Kevin!”

  “Yes,” he sobbed finally, “I understand!” WHACK! Kevin’s face contorted, and he pulled his bottom inward, fighting desperately to free his hands, but once again Danny and Ryan hung on. “THREE!” he wailed.

  “You will be respectful at all times!” Steve drew back again and WHACK! He brought the paddle down hard once more.

  “AHH!” Kevin grimaced, clenching his teeth and pressing his cheek hard against the chair as he sobbed. “Four!” Danny and Ryan continued to offer all the little physical gestures of comfort they could, but they could not think of anything reassuring to say, and they were too broken up now to

  express themselves clearly anyway.

  “You will be polite when you are addressing your teammates and peers . . . .” WHACK!

  “OWWW!” Kevin shrieked. “Five!”

  “When you are addressing your professors . . . .” WHACK!

  “SIX!” Kevin yelped, squirming hard in his effort to get away. “That’s six,” he sobbed, finally into the chair, his shoulders heaving in frustration.

  “And you will especially be considerate when you are addressing Danny and Ryan! Do you hear me?”

  “YES! OK! I’m Sorry!”

  “Don’t tell me! Tell them!”

  “I’m sorry,” Kevin whimpered, looking tearfully at his big brothers.

  “It’s all right, Bud,” Ryan replied huskily. Danny couldn’t even answer him. He just took his hand from Kevin’s t-shirt, placing it instead on the back of his little brother’s head, and leaving Ryan to take up the extra material as Kevin’s shirt slipped slightly.

  “You will remember words like ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ you will not interrupt when someone else is speaking, and you will not raise your voice! Do you understand?”

  “Yes!” Kevin keened. WHACK! Kevin threw his head back, gritting his teeth as his bottom shot inward once more. “SEVEN! Please, Steve, Please!”

  “You will tone down the sarcasm, particularly when you are being addressed on serious subjects such as your grades or class work. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Sir,” Kevin sniffed. WHACK! “AHH! GOD! FUCKING JESUS CHRIST! I mean . . . I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

  “All right Little Bro,” Steve appeased, making up his mind to let the transgression slide. “What stroke was that?”

  “Eight,” Kevin sobbed.

  “Ok, we’re almost done. From now on, you will be on time to your classes, to team practices, and to fraternity meetings! Under no circumstances are you to miss any of the above without clearing it with Danny! Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Sir,” Kevin wept. WHACK! “OWW! OWW, please! That’s nine!” he pleaded. “Please!”

  “I will not tolerate anymore rudeness of any kind, Kevin! Is that clear?”

  “Yes! It’s clear!” he bawled. “It’s so clear!”

  Steve aimed the last stroke directly under Kevin’s bottom, and his little brother howled, shooting straight up and pulling frantically at Ryan and Danny’s hands as the fire in his bottom pushed every other thought from his head. He did not count, but Steve decided not to force the issue. He could tell that Kevin had had enough. He nodded at Danny and Ryan, and with palpable relief, they let their little brother go. Danny buried his face in his hands and Ryan bit hard on his lip as he too struggled to pull himself together. Kevin remained crumpled over the chair, digging his nails into the cushions as he once again remembered his lesson from earlier. As desperately as he wanted to, he did not rub.

  “All right, Little Bro, stand up and face me,” Steve directed softly. Slowly, with stiff, painful movements, Kevin did as he was told, holding his hands in front of him and digging his nails into his palms. “You may rub,” Steve authorized affectionately, and his little brother, amidst a fresh burst of relieved sobs, immediately availed himself of the permission. “Come here,” Steve held out his arm, and Kevin went to him, burying his face in his chest as Steve closed his arm around him. “I’m proud of you, Kev,” he whispered. “You showed a lot of courage tonight.” Kevin just continued to

  sob. “Tomorrow, after you’ve had some time to think about all this, I want you to do two things for me, ok? Are you listening?” Kevin still couldn’t speak, but he nodded against his brother’s shoulder. “First, I want you to draw up a list of all the rules we discussed tonight as you understand them. Danny, Ryan, and I will all look at it. We will continue to discuss and revise it until we have a list we can all four agree on, and then we will all sign it. Ok? That’s one.” Kevin nodded again. “Two, I want you to draft a schedule for yourself, blocking out all your study times, practice times, and class times for the next three weeks. You and Danny will go through this process more formally next semester, but for now I just want to know that you’re getting to your classes and doing your work. Once again, Danny, Ryan and I will look at it, and help you refine it if we have any concerns. We are all going to keep a copy, so we know where you are and when you should be studying. Ok?” Kevin nodded once more, crying harder and clinging to his neck. “I know this is all very overwhelming right now, Kev’bo, and I know it’s going to be an adjustment for you, but Danny, Ryan, and I all see how much potential you have and we just want to help you live up to it. We are at least going to make sure you don’t fail, and if we have to get a little deeper into your business to prevent that possibility then that’s what we’re going to do. Understand?” His tone was gentle, and carried no further trace of strictness or severity. He was no longer the fraternity president fulfilling his duty, now. He was just Kevin’s big brother, and he was trying to comfort him the best way he knew how.

  Kevin clung to him for another couple of minutes and Steve held him as he cried. Ryan and Danny were still trying to collect themselves, but the rest of the room was quiet. “Go on, now, and get to the corner, Kevin,” Steve ordered finally, and his voice, thoug
h it was not loud, carried in the still stunned silence of the room. “While you are there, I want you to think about how you ended up there, and what you can do differently next semester. I am going to dismiss the meeting by class, and when everyone has gone, you may go too, but not before. Do you understand?” Kevin nodded against his chest, and Steve squeezed his shoulder. “All right, Little Bro, go on.”

  With a heavy, shuddering sigh, Kevin left the safe confines of his brother’s arm and limped his way to the far corner. He collapsed into sobs as he reached it, and he leaned his head against the wall. He brought his hands to his bottom, but he did not even really have the energy to rub anymore. Steve turned to face the freshmen, and surreptitiously, with a furtive glance at Steve, Danny made his way over to their little brother. He placed his arm around him, and Kevin turned his face into his chest. Danny held him tight. “Hang in there, Bro,” he managed brokenly. “It’s almost over, now. Here,” Kevin felt his brother press something hard into his hand and he looked down. It was the key to Danny’s single room. Single rooms were rare commodities in the house. Not many people had one, and they were awarded by merit. Both Danny and Ryan had one this year and Kevin was one of many in the fraternity who envied them. Now he clung to his brother, keeping tight hold of the key and sobbing.

  “But where are you going to stay?” he protested.

  “With Ryan,” Danny replied throatily. “We agreed a long time ago that we would do this. Everything is set. We brought a cot in yesterday, we moved your books and some of your clothes into my room, and I have everything I need in Ryan’s room. You can stay as long as you want . . . .”

  “But where was I?” Kevin sobbed in exasperation. “How did I not know about all this?”

  Danny brought his hands up to Kevin’s face, trying to dry some of his tears with his thumbs as he met his little brother’s searching eyes. “You were thinking about your birthday,” Danny murmured, “and planning all the different ways you were going to celebrate it . . .,” his voice cracked as Kevin hid his face on his shoulder once more. “I’m sorry, Kev,” he whispered as his brother cried. “I’m so sorry.”

  As Danny held Kevin, Steve began to dismiss the rest of the meeting. He cautioned the freshmen to remember the example they had been set tonight, and warned them again that many of them were on a track to face similar consequences if they did not shape up immediately. He glanced at the scene taking place in the corner and sighed. Danny was not supposed to be over there. Kevin, in the tradition of the fraternity, was supposed to be using these last few minutes to reflect on the night, and the mistakes he had made this past semester. He was supposed to be standing in the corner by himself as one last warning to the already shaken freshmen as they filed by him, but

  Steve simply did not have it in him to be that hard hearted. ‘The point has been made,’ he thought wryly. ‘Let it rest.’ That sounded very good to him, and that is just what he did. “You may go,” he turned back to the youngest fraternity members. They did not wait for a second invitation and as they passed by their disgraced companion the disconcerted glances they cast his way made it abundantly clear to Steve that no further example was needed.

  “Sophomores,” he continued as the last of the freshmen disappeared, “thank you for all your help tonight. You are all doing an excellent job. This next semester is of the utmost importance as you all know. Please inform me early if things are not going well. It will be difficult to fix things at the last minute and, as you are aware, after this semester there will be no second chances. Thank you again for your help. Keep up the good work, and you may go.” The sophomores got to their feet and slowly made their way from the room. Some of them were talking quietly amongst themselves. There were a few glances thrown in Danny and Kevin’s direction, but most of these were prompted by sympathy for their friend and his little brother. They were not as visibly upset as the freshmen, not this year.

  “Juniors, thank you, you may go,” Steve spared them the fanfare. They had heard it all before. They followed their little brothers, some of them stopping briefly to talk to Ryan and offer their support. He had grown considerably calmer now, but he was still feeling crummy. It didn’t get easier; that was for sure. ‘What would next year be like?’ His stomach lurched as the question flitted briefly through his mind. He didn’t want to think about it.

  “All right everyone,” Steve turned at last to his peers, “thanks for all your support tonight. I appreciate it more than I can say! You can go.” The seniors too had been whispering amongst themselves as the underclassmen exited, but now out of respect for Steve and his younger brothers, they stopped their conversations, got to their feet, and made their way slowly out of the room; well most of them did. Some of them placed reassuring hands on Steve’s back or shoulder as they passed by him and Steve acknowledged their support gratefully. He watched the last of his classmates as they disappeared, and then turned to face his brothers. It was not Danny, Kevin, Ryan, or Matt, however, that he encountered as he turned, and he narrowed his eyes lividly. He was staring down at Gregg Mcarthy’s simpering face.

  “I believe I’ll do some studying,” Gregg Mcarthy quipped, dragging an empty chair forward and propping up his feet. He picked a book off the floor that wasn’t even his and opened it. “What?” he asked, feigning innocence as he met the fraternity president’s smoldering eyes. “Kevie won’t mind standing there for just a little longer, will he?” Gregg probably to this day has no real concept of how close he came to losing his life in that moment, but fortunately Matt was there.

  “Give me that!” He stepped between Steve and Gregg and forcibly took the paddle from his little brother. Then in one quick movement he collared Gregg and jerked him to his feet, causing the book to fall to the floor once more. “You are coming with me,” he informed the astonished senior as he hustled him towards the back door. “We are going to have a long discussion right now, Mcarthy, concerning what is and is not appropriate and respectful behavior.”

  “No, wait! Matt, please! I was just joking, Man! Come on . . . .” It was quite a sight to see: Matt dragging a pleading and whimpering Gregg Mcarthy across the common room. But Steve and Ryan were way too emotionally drained to enjoy it, and Kevin and Danny did not even seem to be aware that it was happening.

  “Matt,” Steve called tiredly, and his big brother looked back as he reached the back door with his struggling captive firmly in hand. “Since you’re going that way, anyway, would you send James and company back in here, please?”

  Matt nodded. “Not a problem,” he responded as he swung the heavy wooden door open. Gregg was still protesting as Matt pulled him roughly outside, letting the screen door clatter shut behind them.

  Steve looked at his three younger brothers as he found himself alone with all of them for the first time since their pool game that morning. How far away that seemed now. Tears stung his eyes. It was hard to say who was having the hardest time, but Kevin and Danny had each other, and Steve’s first concern was for Ryan. Silently, he made his way over to his little brother who stood alone to the side. He was still trying desperately to get himself together as he pressed his fingers to his eyes and swiped roughly at

  the tears that escaped. He was not having much success, however, and as Steve placed his arm around him, he gave up the effort altogether, beginning to sob in earnest as he laid his head against his big brother’s shoulder.

  There was no time for the comforting words Steve was preparing in his head as the screen door banged once more, letting the four occupants of the room know that they were no longer alone. Steve looked up to see Danny, Ryan, and Kevin’s best friends standing frozen at the far end of the room, their eyes fixed anxiously on the scene in front of them. Sean closed the wooden door softly, and Steve beckoned them forward. Still, they hesitated. “Come on, it’s all right,” Steve encouraged a little impatiently, and finally, with a sidelong glance at his brothers and friends, Sean started towards the president. Andrew followed him, and a mo
ment later the others did too. They came to a rest in front of Steve, and for a minute no one said anything. Ryan, Danny, and Kevin seemed oblivious to the presence of their friends.

  “I want to thank you,” Steve began quietly, looking particularly at Sean and Jesse, “for everything you did tonight and all the help you have given us over the last couple of days.” He shifted his eyes to include Andy and Patrick. “I know this night was not much easier on you guys than it was on us. You’ve all been tremendously supportive and I don’t know what we would have done without you.”

  “We wanted to help, Steve,” Sean responded quietly. “I just wish we could have done more.”

  “You did plenty,” the president rewarded the lanky young man with the beginnings of a smile as he squeezed Ryan’s shoulder and pulled his little brother closer. He was glad Ryan had a friend like Sean to turn to.

  “Alex and James come out here, please,” Steve summoned the two freshmen with an air of resigned determination. They had been cowering in the middle of the pack, hoping to remain unnoticed, and now they came timidly forward as Andrew and Sean reluctantly parted to let them through. Jesse placed a reassuring hand on his brother’s shoulder, and James dropped his eyes as Steve glared at him. “I know how difficult and shocking tonight has been for both of you,” Steve started evenly, “and I can appreciate the passion you displayed in defense of your friend. Kevin is extremely lucky

  to have you both in his corner. That is still no excuse, however, for the disrespectful behavior you displayed tonight!”

  “Sorry,” Alex and James mumbled, looking at the ground.