by Kayla Carson
I took three purposeful steps toward her, and grabbed her hands with mine. “Do you still love me?” I asked. I could tell the question took her off guard, but I had to know. I had to know if we had something worth fighting for, and this time I wasn't going to stay quiet.
“I don't even know you anymore Jake.” She said, as a tear slipped down her cheek. “I thought I did. I thought I understood you, the way you worked, but I just, I don't know anymore.”
“Well I do. I know. I know that I have loved you since I was seventeen years old. I know that I was ready to walk away from my career to spend every single important moment in life with you. I have been sleeping with your ghost for the past two years, and I don't want to sleep with it anymore. I want you. In my house, in my bed, in my heart, in my life Evie.” I said with conviction. “I would marry you today if you'd let me. I didn't tell you the truth back then, but I'm telling you now, and whatever you want to do with that, I'll respect it.”
She just stood there, stunned, her hands still in mine. I was holding my breath waiting for some kind of answer, any indication that I wasn't completely insane. Instead, she took her hands from mine and took a step towards me, placing them on my chest. My eyes locked on hers, and I could see the anticipation there. Reaching up, I brushed her cheek with the palm of my hand, and she closed her eyes. I couldn't wait any longer, I had to feel her lips on mine, so I kissed her. My hands cupping her face, and her nails digging into my chest.
The sexual tension in the air was so thick you could've cut it with a knife, and within seconds, I was scooping her up into my arms and heading for the stairs. She laughed, when I bumped us into the wall, and nearly stumbled up the last two stairs, but when we reached the bedroom, it all fell away. I set her to her feet, and she slowly lifted her shirt over her head. I couldn't stop watching her, as she let her jeans fall next, leaving her only in a white lacy bra and panties.
I licked my lips, before losing my own clothing, and pulling her into my arms. It was as if our bodies had never been apart. Her every curve fitting perfectly against me. Her soft skin like a drug that I couldn't get enough of. My hands were all over her, needing to feel every inch. When my hands covered her ass, I lifted her, allowing her to wrap her legs around my waist. My erection brushed against her needy core, and she moaned into my mouth. That sound was my undoing, and in four steps, I had her laid out beneath me on the bed.
I moved my kiss, from her lips to her jaw, and then her neck, kissing my way down to her stomach, only stopping to slip her panties off. When I crawled back up her body, she reached for my waist band, and I lost my boxers. I planned on taking my time, but it had been so long since I felt the woman I loved in my arms, and I couldn't wait any longer. I got up on my knees, pulling her into a sitting position just long enough to unclasp her bra, and give it a fling. She laughed wrapping her arms around my neck, pulling me back down on top of her, cradling me between her legs as we went.
In one fluid motion, I was slipping inside of her, and our lips were back where they belonged. On each other. I could feel her nails on my back, as I ground against her. Her moans, and whimpers driving me, making me hungry with passion. She whispered my name, and I thought I was going to lose my damn mind. It had been so long since I'd felt her body writhing beneath mine, and now that I had her here again it felt like heaven.
Her moans became louder, and her fingers dug deeper into my flesh, encouraging me. I ground my hips faster, deeper, as I began to feel her walls tightening around me. The clench, and unclench of her core driving me to the point of near explosion. Her legs tightened around my waist, and within seconds I felt her climax all around me. Finally able to let go, I came with her, the action making her moans louder. It had been so long since something had felt so right, so complete, that I found myself not wanting to move. I did though, move, but when I did, I took her with me. Her back, to my front, the scent of her hair enveloping me.
“The best me, has his arms around you Hermosa.” I whispered in her ear, before kissing her there. “And I'm not letting you go again.”
“What about the army? What about the clinic, and my practice? What-”
I turned her in my arms then, effectively interrupting her. “None of that matters now. This. Us. Gabriel. That's what matters. The rest will fall into place. Do you believe me?”
“I think I do.” She smiled, reaching up to run her hand through my hair. “I missed this.” She teased, giving it a little tug.
I gave her a mischievous smile, raising my eyebrows, before disappearing beneath the sheets.
“What are you doing?!” She squealed with laughter, as I used my hands to open her legs.
“You said you missed your hands in my hair. I'm just giving you reason to have them there.” I said, before dipping my head down into her sweetness.
Chapter 22 Then
I fucked up, and somehow Wes forgave me, and General Wyatt still let him leave. I took the blame, and got stuck with the scutwork for the past few months, but it was worth it. Wes, and I were heading home today. Him for good, and me for a few days. We sat side by side on the airplane talking about nothing in particular, when the attendant made her announcement that we'd be landing soon. I watched as everyone checked their seat belts, and waited. I hadn't been home since my temper tantrum, and I hoped that Zoe wouldn't mention it to Wes. We were brothers in arms, and he knew I was messed up over Evie, but he didn't need to know how much.
I closed my eyes as the plane descended, and smiled to myself knowing that Wes was probably pissing his pants. He hated taking off, and landing, one thing he would'nt be missing on the ground in San Franscisco. When we got off the plane and into the airport I could see the relief on his face. I on the other hand, already felt lost. He said something about finding our bags, and I went to find my sister. Zoe was picking us up, much to her dismay I might add. She had her first summer off from her new job, and picking up her big brother wasn't high on her list of priorities. Still, I knew she'd come just the same.
I found her easily enough, ruffling the top of her head, knowing It would annoy her. It had been a few years since Wes had seen Zoe, and for a second I thought he was checking her out. Of course she was wearing a ridiculously short dress, but when she rolled her eyes at his attempts I was satisfied. For the moment. We followed her out to her car, and once again I caught my best friend's eyes on my baby sister. It didn't help that she drove a 1969 stick shift, Chevelle, I could almost see Wes drooling, when he asked to sit up front.
I let it slide, mostly because I could keep a better eye on him. When we arrived at my house a half hour later, Zoe went inside first leaving Wes and I in the garage. I tossed him his bag, hitting him square in the chest. “She's off limits. Understand?” I said.
“I know.” He said putting his hands up in mock surrender. “I'll be here for two weeks tops, and then I'm out of here. You won't even know I'm around.”
“Yea, let's keep it that way.” I said, opening the door that led into the kitchen, and allowing him inside.
We were both tired, so after I showed him his room, I went to mine. It wasn't until the next morning that we spoke again, and this time it was over Coffee. Zoe was swimming, and I found him leaning against the counter, in the dark, sipping his brew. I joined him, and then Zoe came in announcing we were going to breakfast, and that I was paying. Wes laughed, and I shook my head, but when she came down from changing I reiterated what I'd told him last night. I must have hit a nerve, because he jumped down my throat.
We had only been in the house for a night, before Zoe and I started arguing, and about Wes no less. But before I could try and fix things, she grabbed her keys and headed for the garage. Throwing my hands up in defeat, I stomped upstairs, brushing past Wes on my may to my room. A few minutes later I heard the garage door open, and when I finally made my way back down stairs I realized that he must have gone with her.
I knew I was being childish, but this house seemed to bring that out in me. Every where I looked the
re were memories. My mom cooking dinner, my dad pouring a scotch from his mini bar. Evie, and I sitting on the couch watching movies. It was all just too much. I thought after royally fucking up my last mission I needed to get away, but maybe I had it wrong. Maybe I never should have come back with Wes. My mind made up, I placed a call to my General, and to my relief he said a ticket would be waiting for me tomorrow morning at the airport. I wouldn't be going back to base, I'd be back in the thick of it.
I never even bothered to unpack my bag, just shoved it under my bed, thanking God that tomorrow morning I'd be wheels up, and anywhere but here. I wrote a quick note to Zoe, not wanting the confrontation. I told her they needed me, it was a half truth, but one that I knew she would believe. As for Wes, I hoped he wouldn't be the one to rat me out. The two of them were the only people I had in my life who gave a damn anymore, and yet, I was burning bridges.
I used to watch those romance movies with Evie. The ones where the man leaves the woman in a heap of a mess, and she has to pick herself up by her bootstraps and start over. They always show how empowering it is for her. What if the rolls were reversed? We aren't wired the same as women. We may move on faster, by jumping into a bed or two, but if I'm being honest we don't have the self preservation that they do. Where ever Evie is, I bet she isn't even thinking about me. So why can't I forget about her?
I spent the next couple of hours in my bedroom watching mindless television, sipping on my dad's last good bottle of scotch. It wasn't like I had anything better to do. It wasn't until I heard the door, that I realized Wes and Zoe must be home. I brushed my teeth, shoving the bottle back under my bed, and headed down stairs to greet them. They were laughing, Zoe's smile wide, and bright. It had been a long time since I'd heard her laugh, and I smiled.
“Hey big brother.” She said. “Got ya some cocoa puffs.” She teased, tossing me the box.
Wes smirked, riling me up once again. “This isn't going to work.” I said, gesturing between the two of them.
“Should you tell him, or should I?” Zoe asked, reaching for Wes' hand.
“Tell me what?” I asked, with anger.
“We ran into her ex at the grocery store.” Wes said, removing his hand from hers. “I inadvertantly agreed to go to a charity gala with her.”
“David?” I asked. “I warned that asshole.” I said, seething.
“Jake. It was the grocery store! It isn't like he was stalking me.” She tried to reason with me.
I mumbled something about taking care of him as I went back up stairs, and I heard her apologize to Wes for me. Something about I was going through a hard time right now, and that she'd talk to me. I instantly felt like the biggest jackass on the planet. Blowing up at my sister, stomping off like a toddler, I was just being a shitty person, and it only cemented my decision to go back.
I heard a soft knock on my door, and I knew it was Zoe. “Come in.” I said, watching the knob turn slowly.
“What's going on Jake?” She asked, when she sat down on the bed beside me. “Is this really about Wes flirting with me, or is this about Evie?”
“Have you heard from her?” I asked, with more hope than I'd intended.
“No.” She said sadly. “She left Jake. She's gone, and that was really shitty, but you can't put your life on hold because of her. You have two years left, and then who knows where the army will take you. General? Colonel? The sky's the limit. I'm not saying that you should forget her, but you need to forgive her.”
“How can I do that? It's not like I can call her. She probably hasn't had a second thought about leaving me behind.”
“You do that.” She said, turning my face so that I was looking directly at her. “By living your life. By showing her that what she did to you, won't hold you back. You move on, just like she has, and you make something of your life. I miss you Jake. The old you.”
“I'm leaving Zo.” I whispered, looking back down at my feet. “I wasn't going to tell you. I wrote this note, and I'm still leaving it in the morning. Please don't say anything to Wes, and I'm sorry for just dropping him on you, but I need to work.”
“I know about what happened on your last mission. Please don't be mad at Wes, he's just worried about you. And as much as I don't like his womanizing ways, he's been a good friend to you. So I need to know. Are you going back to let yourself get killed? Or is this what you need to move forward?”
“I've always loved that you don't sugarcoat things Zoe. You get that from Mom.” I smiled. “I promise you, I'm leaving for the right reasons. Evie asked me the same question you know? She asked what I wanted from the army. My answer back then, should have been nothing. But I was a coward, and now, the army is the only answer. I'm doing this for me.”
“Then I'll support you.” She said, without hesitation before pulling into a hug. “But you are cooking dinner tonight. I've been dying for your enchiladas, and I already bought all the ingredients.
I laughed, pulling her up with me when I stood. “Deal.”
Chapter 23 Now
It was my last day before I had to go back to base. Never in my entire military career, did I think I wouldn't want that. Things with Evie and I were still so complicated. We agreed that we would make this work, that we owed it to ourselves, and to Gabriel, to have this second chance. We spent the entire day in each other's arms yesterday, and then we picked Gabriel up, and spent the rest of the evening as a family. We watched paw patrol, and ate Spongebob shaped macaroni, and it was the best meal I'd ever eaten.
I got to put Gabriel to bed last night. I read him a story, and tucked him in, and then I sat and watched him sleep. I could have watched him all night, and I would have, if Evie hadn't insisted I come back to bed. I smiled to myself, thinking of the memory as I snuck out of bed and tip toed down the stairs. I wasn't used to having house guests, but for the first time since I started coming home, I actually thought I might miss this place.
After Evie fell asleep last night, I dug my mother's ring out from the safe, and hid it downstairs. I knew four years ago that it belonged on her finger, and nothing had changed since. She was still the only woman I ever loved, and I meant what I said about wanting her to be my wife. It didn't mean we had to get married tomorrow, but I needed her have it, to wear it, to know that I wasn't going anywhere, and that I was just as committed to her, as I was to our son.
She, and Gabriel were still sound asleep upstairs, so I slipped carefully out of bed, and made my way down stairs. I pulled the ring from my father's liquor cabinet, and placed it into my pocket before checking the fridge for supplies. My father used to cook us breakfast every Sunday morning, and it seemed fitting that I do the same for my family. It was one of my favorite childhood memories, and one of the only times we'd all sit at the table together with everyone's schedules being so different.
I decided on french toast, and bacon, remembering it was one of Evie's favorites. I had just about finished the bacon, and tossed my first piece of french toast into the pan when I heard a tiny set of foot steps. I turned slowly to see a sleepy headed Gabriel rubbing his eyes with one hand, and holding his lion in the other.
“Good morning buddy.” I said, with a smile. “You ready for some breakfast?”
He nodded enthusiastically, climbing up onto one of the kitchen chairs. Just like his momma I thought, she too was a food enthusiast, and I was surprised the smell hadn't already woken her. I finished up the french toast, and made Gabriel his plate, cutting the pieces in small cubes, like I'd done this a million times before, but the reality was, I hadn't. I missed out on all of his firsts, but I couldn't dwell on that now, not when things were finally starting to fall into place.
I set a place for Evie, and then myself, before running upstairs to wake her. I found her standing in the bedroom's adjoining bathroom in one of my tee shirts, fussing with her curly hair. “I woke up like this?” She said shrugging her shoulders, and looking absolutely adorable. I laughed with her, when I hugged her from behind, kissing the hollow of her nec
k.
“You look beautiful.” I said honestly, turning her in my arms, and kissing her properly. “Breakfast is ready, and Gabe's already digging in.”
“I thought I smelled something yummy.” She said taking my hand, and leading me down the stairs.
“Momma! Bacon!” Gabriel yelled, when he saw the two of us round the corner.
We laughed, and I pulled Evie's chair out for her, taking the seat directly across from her. There we sat, all clad in our pajamas, enjoying breakfast on a Sunday morning. It felt so right, and I wished it never had to end. I glanced around the table noticing that I'd forgotten to put the syrup out. I made to stand, when I felt something hit my foot. I glanced down, to see what it was, but Gabriel beat me too it, jumping from his seat and opening the ring box.
“Pretty!” He said, pulling the ring from it's box and watching it sparkle.
My heart sank into my stomach, this wasn't exactly how I'd planned on purposing. Improvising, I gently took the ring from Gabriel's small hand. “Thanks for picking that up for me buddy.” I said, before walking around the table to where Evie sat. Her hands instantly went to her mouth in a shocked expression, and I silently hoped that it was a good sign.
“Evangeline Perez.” I started, taking a deep breath for good measure. “This ring has been in my family for more years than I can remember. My mother left it to me on one condition. The woman who wore it had to challenge, and accept me, but above all, she had to love me. I knew at seventeen years old that this ring would only ever belong to you. If I were a smarter man, I would have proposed then, to hell with what anyone had to say, but you and I both know I'm not that man. I'm a man who has made mistakes, and I'll probably make more. But the one thing that I'm sure of in this life, is that I love you, and asking you to be my wife today isn't one of those mistakes. Will you marry me Hermosa?”
