Crash

by Nicole Williams

  “Sure I do.”

  I took another bite so I could come up with something tactful to say. Yep, nothing was coming to mind.

  “What I meant by you don’t want to know is that I don’t want to tell you.” Why did I have to be so bluntly honest?

  “Oh,” he said, turning down Sunrise Drive. “Moving on, then.”

  He was silent for another mile or so, not pressing anything. Any other high school student would have pressed for every last detail of tonight’s drama fest. Another point for Sawyer. He’d scored a lot of them tonight, and I started to realize I’d been quick to judge him, like everyone else had me. He wasn’t the cliche jock slash prep. I mean, he did play sports and wear a lot of name-brand polos, but he was also thoughtful and kind and helped a girl out when no one else would.

  Sawyer Diamond was in danger of being labeled a good guy in my book.

  We pulled into my driveway another minute later and I was surprised to find I’d finished almost half the tub of ice cream. I’d be dancing my ass off tomorrow morning. Literally.

  “Thanks for the ride, Sawyer,” I said, turning in my seat. “I’m sure there are about a thousand other things you’d rather be doing on Homecoming night, but it means a lot to me.”

  “Right now,” he said, unbuckling his seatbelt and leaning towards me, “there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

  I forced myself not to roll my eyes at that line. One point forward, one point back for Mr. Diamond.

  “Good night,” I said, reaching for the handle.

  “Hold up, Lucy.” Sawyer’s hand grabbed mine. “I’ve been going back and forth the whole drive here on whether or not to say anything to you, but I wouldn’t be a very good friend if I didn’t.” He took the melting vat of sundae from me and set it on the backseat floor. “I know you like Jude, and maybe that’s in the past tense after tonight.”

  That pit in my stomach returned, the ice cream be damned.

  “Sawyer,” I began, wanting to stop him because I wasn’t sure I wanted to know everything that was Jude because then I might not have any excuses to stay with him.

  “He’s not the right guy for you, Lucy,” he started, but something about the look I gave him or the anger starting to radiate off me stopped him.

  “I’ll decide who is and who isn’t right for me, Sawyer,” I said, making another push for the door.

  He didn’t let my hand go. “No, wait, don’t leave like this, Lucy,” he said, taking a deep breath. “You’re right. I have no business telling you what to do or who to stay away from.”

  Damn straight, my inner voice replied.

  “But do me this one favor. Next time, if there is a next time, you see Ryder,” Sawyer paused, looking like he was fighting a battle he was about to lose, “ask him about Holly.”

  That prickly feeling was my hackles standing on end. “Holly who?”

  “That’s Jude’s history to tell you about, not mine.”

  And women were supposed to be infuriating creatures? It was time for another census. “Then why did you bring her up?”

  “Because you have a right to know what you’re getting into.”

  I knew I had the right, but I wasn’t sure it was one I wanted to claim. There was nothing else to say. “Good night again,” I said, stepping out of the car. He let me go. “Thanks again for the ride.”

  He grinned up at me. “Thanks for letting me give you a ride,” he said. “I’ll see you Monday?”

  I slid into my sweater. “Unless the west coast falls into the ocean.”

  “So, all natural, personal, and economical disasters aside, I’ll see you on Monday?” His boyish grin was making me smile, it was impossible to resist.

  “Just get the hell out of here, Diamond,” I said, covering my smile as I shut the door.

  Flipping a salute, Sawyer turned around in the driveway and waved as he pulled out.

  I watched his car go until its tail lights were eaten up by the night, trying to decide how I felt about Sawyer. By appearance’s sake, he was a shoo-in for the young man of the year award, but something else, something I couldn’t yet pinpoint, made the hair on the back of my neck stand a bit on end when he was around. It was nothing more than an instinct, but it was something I couldn’t ignore.

  Wondering why I was standing in the middle of the driveway contemplating anything about Sawyer Diamond at midnight, I gave my head one good clearing shake and turned to go inside.

  One light still burnt in the living room. A wince was in full plumage when I opened the front door. Of course it would be mom, hunched over her desk at her laptop. Her shoulders lifted when the screen door closed behind me.

  “Hey, mom,” I said, because the quicker I got this started, the quicker it could be over.

  Swiveling in her chair, she removed her glasses and looked at me. Really looked at me, like she hadn’t seen me in years and was trying to memorize every line and plane of the seventeen-year-old Lucy.

  “Was that a different boy who just dropped you off than the one that picked you up?” There was no anger, no ice in her voice, just wonder.

  I nodded, sliding out of my heels and kicking them to the side.

  “And the reason for that is . . .?”

  I didn’t have an answer. Not for her, not even for me, but she waited.

  “I don’t think I even know why yet,” I answered, looking up the stairs. I wanted nothing more than to throw on some pajamas and drown this whole night away with some sleep.

  Mom bit her lip, doing that debating something face. “Did he hurt you?” she spit out, looking almost as scared of the question as she was of my answer.

  Again, no easy answer for this, but I knew what she meant exactly. “Of course not,” I replied, heading towards the stairs.

  “Lucy,” she said, standing.

  “Mom, I know I’m in huge trouble,” I said, resting my hand on the banister. “I know I’m grounded until the day I turn eighteen for lying to you and running out tonight, but right now I just want to go to bed and forget tonight ever happened. Okay?” For the third time tonight, I felt close to tears. That was unacceptable.

  “Okay,” she said, sitting back down, “but I meant what I said, Lucy. You can talk to me if you need to.”

  “Yeah, okay. Thanks,” I said, shuffling up the stairs.

  “And Lucy?” she called after me. “You’re grounded all right, but only until the end of the week.”

  For the first time in a long time, I felt like my mom and I had just had a constructive conversation.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  I dreaded stepping foot into Southpointe’s halls Monday morning—what rumors had flared over the weekend, what truths were confirmed, and what new reputation would await me.

  That might be the reason I stayed locked in the Mazda after I pulled into my parking space. I convinced myself I wasn’t cowering, just enjoying the last few songs of my new CD, but the fact I’d stuffed my black cat-eye sunglasses on and stayed hunched down seemed to be cowering at its best.

  I knew the first bell was going to ring soon because the parking lot was mostly full of cars and empty of students, but I still couldn’t pry myself from the safety of my car. I’d prepped myself an entire day for this moment, stepping out in front of everyone who’d know what happened Saturday night, head high and confidence higher, but it wasn’t working.

  Again contemplating the pros of home schooling, I started the car up again, concluding today qualified as a sick day. I couldn’t think of a time I’d felt more under the weather.

  Checking my rearview, I put the Mazda in reverse, finding myself hoping to catch a glimpse of someone I shouldn’t. Then something flashed in my peripheral vision as a knock on my window followed.

  There stood Sawyer Diamond, smiling at me like it was any Monday morning, holding a bouquet of flowers. He waved. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  I rolled down my window. “Anywhere but here.”

  “Reason being?” he asked, handin
g the flowers to me through the window. It was a mixed bouquet wrapped up with butcher paper and twine purchased at one of those fancy boutiques no doubt. They were beautiful, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to accept flowers from Sawyer or what accepting those flowers would mean.

  “I’m contemplating shooting for the stars and becoming a high school drop-out,” I said, staring at the school. “I hear there’s a great beauty school downtown.”

  Sawyer chuckled, leaning into my door. “There is, actually, but that’s for girls who get knocked up or can’t tell the back from the front of their pre-algebra book.”

  “Sounds perfect,” I said, gripping the steering wheel, trying to pretend a couple of girls rushing by us weren’t whispering to each other about me. It wasn’t easy given they threw at least four sideways glances my way before they were out of sight.

  “Come on,” Sawyer said, leaning across my lap and snatching the keys right out of the ignition. “Time to get to class.”

  “Give me those,” I ordered, trying to grab them out of his hands.

  “You can have them back after sixth period,” he said calmly, pocketing them. From the gleam in his eyes, I couldn’t tell if he was more excited about the possibility of me reaching for them or about holding me hostage here all day.”

  “Sawyer,” I groaned, calculating how long it would take me to walk home. “I don’t need this right now.”

  “Yeah, you kind of do,” he said, swinging my door open. “I’ve watched one too many girls’ lives derail thanks to one upstanding citizen”—I glowered at him through my cat eyes—“who shall not be named,” he edited, holding out his hand. “I don’t want to watch another.”

  “Everyone is going to be talking about me and staring at me and whispering through class about me. I need to be in a better mental state of mind to handle that kind of ridicule.”

  He grabbed my hand in his and squeezed. “No, they won’t,” he vowed. “I won’t let them.”

  “You won’t let them?” I repeated, looking down where his hand wrapped around mine. “What are you, the godfather of the Southpointe mafia?”

  “My ancestors were like Mennonites or something, so we’re not big into the whole mafia thing,” he said, reaching across my lap and grabbing my bag. “But give me a little credit. I’ve built up a lot of clout at this school over the years.” Giving my hand a tug, he motioned towards the school.

  “Let me guess, it’s your boyish good looks and smile,” I said, sliding out of my seat and slamming the door. I couldn’t believe I was being coerced into attending class by Sawyer.

  He grinned over at me. “My family owns a nice place down by the lake and I’ve thrown some killer parties over the years.”

  “Ah,” I said, as a few guys greeted Sawyer across the courtyard. He waved, continuing on. “Nothing like the lure of alcohol and no chaperones to make you a god in the world of teenagers.”

  “Precisely,” he laughed, pulling the door open for me. After weaving through the metal detectors, Sawyer stayed right with me, turning down the hall. “I thought you had ASB first period,” I said, as a few more students passed by us, high-fiving Sawyer and barely taking note of me. It was like he was some personal cloaking device.

  “I do.”

  “So why are you coming with me to Literature?”

  “Because I want to,” he said without pause.

  It was a little odd, Sawyer sticking to me like glue, bringing me flowers, the whole bit, but I felt steadier with him by my side, more grounded. And I needed to feel grounded to get through a day like this.

  “And Mr. Peters is going to be cool with you sauntering into class and hanging out like you own the place?” Sawyer had influence, but not that much.

  “I don’t think he’ll mind.”

  “Really?” I said, stopping outside the classroom door.

  He gave me a sheepish grin. “My dad’s on the school board. My grandfather was before that. My family’s dug six foot deep into this school.”

  Unbelievable. “Well, then,” I said, sweeping my hand through the door. “After you.”

  Sliding through the doorway, he plucked my hand from my side and towed me in. Everyone in class glanced up, looking between the two of us like they weren’t quite sure what was going on, but you could almost see half the class shrugging it off right away and the other half stared another second and got back to pulling their textbooks out. What the hell kind of influence did Sawyer have here at Southpointe and how could I replicate that elixir?

  “Hey, Mr. Peters,” he greeted as he led us to a couple seats in the back of the room. “I’m going to sit in this morning.”

  Mr. Peter’s eyes fell on me in a way I recognized, even he knew what had transpired at homecoming, before he nodded at Sawyer.

  “I hope you’ll enjoy the finer points of literature, Mr. Diamond,” he said, turning to the board.

  He looked back at me, his eyes light. “Oh, I will, Mr. Peters,” he said. “I will.”

  The next three periods went the same way, although I called “no way” on Sawyer when he tried coming with me. It wasn’t because I wasn’t thankful for everything he’d done, how he smoothed out what should have been a hellish day, but I couldn’t carry him around like a security blanket all year long. He gave me the glimmer of confidence I needed to get through the rest of the day. I wasn’t totally immune to sideways stares or hushed voices, but they were a fraction of what I’d anticipated and I knew that had to do with Sawyer. I was in his debt, but didn’t know if that was a place I wanted to be.

  Taylor looked like her head was about to blow up by the time I meandered to our table in the cafeteria. After ignoring her first five calls on Sunday morning, I just turned off the phone. I wouldn’t be able to dodge her inquires any longer.

  “Did you drop your phone in the toilet or something?” she asked before I even sat down.

  “My battery died and I couldn’t find my charger,” I said, smiling all innocent like at her. Was it still considered lying if it was done to keep blabber mouths like Taylor in the dark?

  Her face changed—she actually bought that one. “You poor thing,” Taylor said, resting her hand on my arm. “As if your weekend needed to get any worse.”

  I mm-hmm-ed through a sip of orange juice.

  “Okay, where do we start?” she said, leaning closer. Lexie and Samantha dropped their celery sticks and leaned across the table.

  I just wanted to get this over with. They wouldn’t relent until they’d sucked me dry of information, and I knew if I didn’t give them what they wanted, lies would be created to fill in the gaps.

  “Where do you want to start?” I asked, popping the top back on my OJ.

  “Did you know he’d stolen the car?” Taylor whispered, looking conspiratorially around the table.

  “Of course not,” I answered, offended until I realized they were disappointed with my answer. In these girls’ books, I would be at least one or two shades cooler if I’d been in on or gone along with the whole vehicular theft thing.

  “Have you talked to him since?”

  It hurt thinking about him; it hurt even more admitting I hadn’t heard from him.

  “Nope.”

  Taylor and her apostles looked disappointed again. “The buzz around here is that he evaded like a hundred police cars, returned the car to its owner, then walked right into the downtown precinct and turned himself in,” Taylor spewed, waving and shaking her hands so neurotically I scooted a few inches back. “What did you hear, Lucy?”

  “A whole lotta nada,” I answered, already exhausted from the grand inquisition and we were only three minutes into lunch hour. We were only getting started.

  “So it’s true he just, like, left you behind?” Lexie asked, chewing the end of a carrot stick. These girls ate more damn raw vegetables than a family of rabbits.

  “Yep,” I said, looking over my shoulder, praying for some kind of distraction. “It was tragic.”

  “How did you get home?” L
exie said, waving her carrot.

  I was about to answer a car when Taylor smiled over at me, arching a brow. “I heard you rode shot-gun in a certain BMW 325i.”

  “I don’t even know what that means,” I said, glancing behind me again. Still no one coming to my rescue. Hell, at this point in the questioning, I wouldn’t have cared if it was a masked madman carrying a chainsaw over his head.

  “Sawyer drove you home?” The half-eaten carrot dropped from Lexie’s hand.

  “Yeah?”

  Shooting up in her chair, Lexie glared down at me. “Why, Lucy Larson has certainly made the rounds around Southpointe, hasn’t she? All in one week’s time.” Sharpening her glare at me, she spun and marched out of the cafeteria.

  “Don’t worry, she’ll get over it,” Taylor said, waving her hand in the air. “She and Sawyer dated on and off for a couple years and had a nasty breakup a few weeks before school started.”

  “Two years?” I said, having newfound respect for Sawyer. A two year commitment to the genius that was Lexie Hamilton should have guaranteed him a seat amongst the gods. “She hates me. She’s going to hate me for a long, long time.”

  Curling her finger at me, Taylor leaned in. I didn’t move any closer. “Lexie hates everybody. Just don’t tell her I said that.”

  “How nice for her,” I said.

  “Wow, Lucy Larson,” Taylor said, pulling out a compact from her purse. “You somehow manage to tame the untamable Jude Ryder, short-lived as it was, then move right on to Southpointe’s most eligible bachelor and coveted husband-to-be. You are officially my hero.”

  Samantha giggled. “Are you taking on any apprentices at this time?”

  “Only the morally handicapped,” I muttered, as Taylor powdered her nose and Samantha sipped diet pop from a straw. I was surrounded by sweater set, peaches and cream, future Stepford wives. What the hell was I doing?

  “Sawyer frickin’ Diamond,” Taylor sung, shaking her head. “Unbelievable.”

  “I am, aren’t I?”

  I don’t know which three of us jumped more, but Taylor’s powder shattered when it hit the floor, so she won some sort of prize.