One Good Thing

by Wendy Wax

  Nikki seemed to consider this for a moment before shaking her head sadly. “What’s the point? It’s just more empty calories and only two minutes of pleasure.”

  “Have you considered trying to look on the bright side?” Bitsy said, stung. She’d give a lot for even one minute of pleasure right now. Something to look forward to would do.

  “I can’t help it,” Nikki complained. “I’ve lost a lot of brain cells and I don’t know if I’m ever getting them back. I lie here all day and all night, but I can’t get comfortable enough to actually sleep. And all anyone who’s had a child ever tells me is how I should get all the sleep I can right now because I won’t be sleeping again for a long time.”

  Since taking a nap had been her only other suggestion, Bitsy tried to remain quiet. But as she contemplated Nikki’s bloated face and body, the hair that needed washing, the obvious fear in her eyes, she felt the sharpest stab of jealousy she’d ever known. She could not feel sorry for this woman who had literally everything when she, Bitsy, had nothing. She wasn’t used to tiptoeing around others. Others had always tiptoed around her.

  “You know, you could try following Maddie’s example and focusing on the positives here. I mean, you have a man who loves you and a large support group of people who would do pretty much anything for you. Including actually listening to you whine about how awful it is to lie in bed while everyone takes care of you. Not everybody’s so lucky!”

  Nikki blinked in surprise. Her gaze sharpened. It was the first time she’d seen Nikki look like Nikki since she’d been confined to bed. “Says the woman who was born with a silver spoon implanted in her mouth! Nobody’s falling for your ‘everything’s fine, Bertie’s just traveling, I need some “me time” ’ bullshit.”

  Bitsy froze. The Nicole Grant she knew had always been direct, but she’d never been cruel. Or out of control.

  “You want to keep your troubles to yourself? Fine. But that’s not going to cut it long term. In case you haven’t noticed—and why would you, given your own self-absorption—the units we all sank the last of our money into renovating aren’t selling and our brief, if painful, television career seems to be over. We don’t have the money to pay you back or even give you a two-bedroom tricked-out apartment. And as empathetic as Maddie is, even she’s not going to hand over things we can’t afford. You’ve been given a pass so far. Maddie talked us into waiting for you to share what’s going on. But not even Mother Teresa has endless patience. So I suggest you find a way to tell the truth soon. Or you’re going to find yourself out of here. And then you can go throw yourself on the mercy of some of your other friends.”

  Bitsy’s cheeks flushed hot with hurt and anger. Nikki looked like she was preparing to sling another incendiary bomb her way any moment.

  “Got it!” Bitsy jumped to her feet.

  “Good!” Nikki nodded her head vehemently as Bitsy grabbed her glass off the TV table and stomped into the kitchenette to refill it. Back in the bedroom, she placed it back on the tray, clicked on the television, sped through the channels until she found an episode of Modern Family, then set the remote none too gently back on the table. Sherlock stared up at her in surprise. She bent down to scoop him up. His cold nose snuffled up beneath her ear.

  She wanted to storm out of the cottage and the Sunshine Hotel and Beach Club and never come back. But she had nowhere to go and she had promised not to leave Nikki alone. “It’s not good for you or the babies to get so worked up,” she said drawing a deep breath into her lungs. “I’ll be back in to help take your blood pressure once we’ve both had a chance to calm down,” she called over her shoulder. Then she settled on the sofa with Sherlock in her lap and began to count down the ninety-four minutes until Joe Giraldi would arrive.

  • • •

  “You’re going to have to stop driving people away,” Joe said when he walked into the bedroom shortly after five P.M. “Bitsy practically mowed me down trying to get out of here.”

  Nikki sniffed and said nothing, though she did, in fact, feel more than a little remorse.

  Joe came and sat on the chair next to the bed. “I know this lying around isn’t easy. But it’s not some arbitrary punishment that’s been foisted on you. There’s a compelling reason for this. Two of them.” She could hear the anger just beneath the reasonable tone. She turned her head, unable to meet his eyes, like a chastened child. If she could have, she would have jumped out of bed and fled the cottage like Bitsy had. But she was trapped.

  Joe fell silent, but his scrutiny remained intense. She felt like that child. Small and miserable. So often now she said and did the wrong thing. No matter how she tried to talk herself down or plan a rational response, the fear she tried so hard to contain bubbled up and mixed with all that seething emotion and she’d fly into a fit before she could gather herself. Once she’d taken a stance, no matter how unfair or ridiculous, her pride wouldn’t let her back down. The excess anxiety and emotion were even more exhausting than the surplus pounds she carried. And she knew it wasn’t good for the babies.

  His reasonable tone and the obvious disappointment on his face only made her feel worse.

  “Here.” He gently eased her up and rearranged the pillows behind her head then went to refill the glass of water. When he came back, he placed it within reach. He sat on the chair and spoke quietly. “This isn’t some life sentence, Nikki. It’s been a week and a half. It’s unlikely to be more than another three to four weeks—the longer the better. You need to stop dwelling on your discomfort and think about why you’re doing this. You’re about to have children—our children. It’s time to stop acting like a child yourself.”

  She sniffed, determined not to rail or cry like the child he’d accused her of being. The anger wasn’t gone, and neither were the fears she refused to give voice to lest it turn them real, but the adrenaline had dissipated. She took a long sip of water and let his presence calm her. She managed to ask about his day.

  For dinner he warmed up two bowls of Gabriella’s manicotti. There was a plate of his Nonna Sofia’s biscotti for dessert. They nibbled on them during the evening news. With Joe there, the tiny bedroom felt homey and the fear receded.

  She was drowsing when he turned off the light and climbed into bed. He fit himself against her back spoon fashion and placed one large hand protectively over her stomach. There was a kick and then another. She felt his quiet expulsion of breath in reaction. His hand caressed her stomach and the babies inside. She pressed back into him, comforted by his touch. Protected by the fortress of his body, she was finally able to fall asleep. It was not a deep or restful sleep, but his presence helped keep the darker thoughts at bay.

  • • •

  Daylight seeped in through the blinds the next morning.

  “You awake?” Joe asked, his voice pitched low behind her.

  “Mmm-hmmm.” She drew a deep breath. Another. Her eyelids fluttered.

  “I’m going to have to go out of town for a few days.”

  The vestiges of sleep disappeared like the flame snuffed from a candle. Her eyes popped open. “What?”

  “I have to go to LA to interview and bring back a witness.”

  Wide awake now, she worked her way on to her back then on to her other side so that she could face him. “But you said you weren’t going anywhere until after. That they wouldn’t ask you to and that even if they did, you wouldn’t go.” Even now she couldn’t bring herself to say “after the babies are born.” She would not say it until they arrived safely, both of them healthy, and she and Joe were together. “You promised.”

  “I know,” he said. “But I’m the only one who can debrief and hopefully convince this witness to testify. And I’ll be back in time no matter what. It’s only a four-and-a-half-hour flight.”

  The panic hit her low and deep. She tried to clamp down on it, but her emotions were in lockstep with her hormones and they were jerking upward to
the top of the roller coaster in preparation for the bloodcurdling drop that would follow. She wanted to scream at him. Wanted to ask whether they would have sent him if he were married and it was his wife who could end up going into labor at any time since twins tended to come early. She struggled to maintain her composure. She managed not to beg him to stay or shout when she asked when he was going.

  “This afternoon.” He looked her in the eye when he said it. “I spoke to my parents. My mother and Nonna Sofia have offered to take turns spending the night here while I’m gone.”

  He’d already discussed this with them. He’d told them before he told her. She struggled up onto her elbows. “No. We can’t expect your mother or grandmother to sleep on the couch.”

  “They’re fine with it,” he said smoothly. “In fact, they offered.”

  “Bitsy could just check in on me,” she said. “I could call her if there was a problem.”

  “No.” He held her gaze. Despite the tick in his cheek, he spoke calmly, resolutely. “First of all, that woman has plenty of issues of her own. And I’m not sure she’d ever set foot in here again based on the way she rushed out. You’re not sleeping here alone. It’s bad enough that I have to go. I can’t spend the whole time worrying about you.”

  She managed to sit completely upright with her back propped against the pillows. “So this is for your peace of mind. Your convenience.”

  “Jesus, Nikki. You twist everything into some kind of affront. I just want to make sure you’ve got someone I trust with you until I get back.”

  “Well, I’m not staying here with anyone but you,” she said. “I’m going to Bella Flora, where I can be with my friends.” She barely resisted adding, “You’re not the boss of me.”

  “Nik . . .”

  “No, this is my decision, not yours. Especially since you’re not going to be here.”

  “But my family’s here. And they’ve offered to help.”

  “Well, they’re not my family.” She looked at him but he did not drop down on one knee or bring up the idea of making her a Giraldi as he’d once been so eager to do. She began to work on swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

  “Nikki.” He got out of bed and strode to her side. For a moment she hated him for being able to move and bend when she was still trying to get her feet on the floor.

  “They’ll be right next door and they can come to Bella Flora anytime they want to. It’ll be less disruptive for everyone if they don’t have to come to the cottage. And at least I’ll have people I know around me,” Nikki said as her feet pressed into the rug and she scooted toward the side. “People who know the way to the hospital in case you’re not back.”

  “I’ll be back in time, Nikki. I promise.”

  But he’d promised he wasn’t going anywhere and now he was. And he’d said he wanted to marry her and now he clearly didn’t. It was about time she started relying on herself and the friends who’d proven they could be counted on.

  “I’m going to Bella Flora,” she said. “I have a whole bedroom there to use anytime I want to.”

  “But it’s upstairs,” he pointed out.

  “That’s just a detail. One I can work out with Kyra and Maddie.” She held out her hand, beyond irritated that she needed his help to stand.

  “You’re not supposed to get up.”

  “I have to go to the bathroom, damn it.” She let him pull her to her feet, but shook off his hand when he tried to escort her. “I can go by myself!”

  In the bathroom she took her time peeing then washed her face and brushed her teeth. She even ran a comb through her hair. When she came out, she’d located her backbone and was determined to use it. “Please get me my suitcase.”

  “Be reasonable, Nikki.”

  “I am being perfectly reasonable. Disagreeing with you does not make me unreasonable. Now please get me my suitcase.” She considered telling him where he could shove that suitcase but managed to refrain. When it was open on the bed, she began to fill it. Fortunately, the room was so small the dresser was only a few steps away.

  “Nikki, this is really not a good idea.”

  She didn’t bother to respond although she did allow him to help her into her clothes. When you were shaped like Humpty Dumpty, getting dressed on your own was pretty much out of the question. She also let him carry her suitcase to the car, but only after threatening to walk to Bella Flora dragging it behind her.

  She kept her chin up and her eyes averted for the duration of the drive. As they drew near to Ten Beach Road, she hoped Maddie, Kyra, and Avery, on whom she’d occasionally unleashed her new roller coaster self, would be glad to see her. And if they weren’t glad, that they’d at least be willing to take her in.

  Fifteen

  “Would you like to come to the site with me? I know Chase could use your input.” Avery placed a piece of chocolate cake and a glass of milk on the kitchen table in front of Jeff Hardin then cut a smaller slice for herself. She and Jeff shared a lot of things including a penchant for junk food and a virulent sweet tooth. “Then you could ride back with him when I head to Bella Flora.”

  “Nah.” Jeff picked up his fork and pulled the plate closer. “I don’t think Chase wants me sticking in my two cents.”

  “Of course he does,” Avery insisted. “When hasn’t he wanted your input? You taught him everything he knows.”

  Jeff took a bite and chewed appreciatively. “Doesn’t seem worth the effort it takes to get me anywhere. I’ve watched you maneuvering this chair into the back of the Mini Cooper, and to tell you the truth, I’m getting tired of being hauled around like a sack of potatoes.”

  She topped off his milk and took a seat beside him. He was the closest thing to a parent she had left. “I wish my dad was here in any shape, mobile or otherwise. And I promise you neither Chase nor I feel anything but gratitude that you’re available to give input and be a part of our lives.” She took a bite of cake as much to hide the emotion rising up inside her as to enjoy the chocolaty sugar rush.

  Jeff harrumphed, but ate with a little more gusto. They were consuming their cake and milk in a companionable silence when a screech of tires sounded outside. A car door slammed. She and Jeff exchanged glances as the front door whipped open and Jason stomped his way into the kitchen. The perpetual scowl slipped slightly at the first sight of chocolate cake. Avery reached for the bakery box. “Hungry?” She transferred the slice onto a plate and waved it in his direction. “It’s the last one. And I think it’s got your name written all over it.” When he didn’t move, she set it on the table for him then poured him a glass of milk to go with it.

  She was careful not to move too quickly, as if he were some small skittish animal that she didn’t want to spook and not a hulking boy/man. She bit back a smile at the idea of setting out a trail of chocolate cake crumbs for him to follow the next time they needed him to do something. “You know if your dad or Josh finds it, it’ll be gone in ten seconds flat.”

  Jeff acted as if he wasn’t interested in anything but his own cake, but she could feel how carefully he was eating. “Go on and take it, Jace,” he said. “Liking chocolate cake is a sign of intelligence, not weakness.”

  She held up the plate and the glass of milk in a last bid to tempt him. She knew she should have already called him on not telling his father about playing hooky and taking the boat without permission, but that would just call attention to the fact that she hadn’t found the courage to tell Chase, either.

  When Jason reached for the plate and the milk with a rusty “thanks,” she suspected he was as interested in depriving his father as he was in consuming the cake. Or maybe it was just a double win. Jeff made as if to move over, but Jason was already turning and leaving, carrying the cake and milk back to his lair.

  “Lord, that boy beats all,” Jeff said as the bedroom door closed and the music went on. “He’s been thrown off the te
am for skipping practices and classes. The other day he left school during his lunch hour and never came back. He supposedly gave his car keys back to Chase, but he clearly has an extra set. Left Josh, who he used to worship, stranded there like he probably did just now.” He pushed his half-eaten cake away. “It breaks my heart to see the distance building up between those boys. The worse Jason behaves, the harder Josh tries to be perfect. And I can’t bear the way Jason and Chase go at each other. One of these times one of them will go too far and . . . well, I try not to think too much about that. They’re my flesh and blood.”

  “I know.” Avery put the carton of milk back in the refrigerator then checked to make sure she had the notes and drawings she wanted to go over with Chase. “I wish you’d come.”

  Jeff was looking down the hallway toward the boys’ bedrooms. The throbbing bass of a rap song whose lyrics she did not want to hear reverberated through the house, making the windows rattle.

  “I think I’ll stay here. You know, just in case the boy decides he wants to talk or needs anything.” Jeff had to raise his voice to be heard above the din.

  “You’re a good man.” She leaned over and put her arms around his neck, dropping a kiss on the top of his head. “I’m not sure how long I’ll be at Bella Flora, but call me anytime if there’s anything you need.”

  • • •

  “Why on earth did you give her that bell?” Kyra asked, resisting the urge to cover her ears so she wouldn’t have to hear Nikki’s latest summons.

  “It’s the same bell I always gave you and Andrew when you were sick,” her mother pointed out as she turned the burner down on the stove and prepared to go into the salon to see what Nikki needed.

  “Yeah, but that was before cell phones and texting. And we were just children.”

  “Dustin wanna bell, too. And wanna sleep in saron with Nikki.” Dustin reached for Kyra’s hand and gave it a tug.