Only Yours

by Susan Mallery

  “Don’t be. This is a good place. I like it here.”

  “I have a PowerPoint presentation illustrating all the reasons you should consider relocating here.” She kept her tone light and made sure she was smiling as she spoke. She wanted him to think she was kidding, and she was, sort of. “Color graphs?”

  “What is a PowerPoint presentation without color graphs?” She reached for another chip. “Doesn’t this happen everywhere you go? Don’t they always want you to stay?”

  “Mostly.”

  “Does that surprise you? You’re a very gifted surgeon. Having you around would mean a lot to any community. And you’re good-looking.”

  His expression tightened. She did a mental rewind, trying to figure out what she’d said wrong. Nothing came to her.

  “What?” she demanded. “You have scrunchy face.”

  “What the hell is scrunchy face?”

  “When your face gets all scrunchy. Like you’re mad. What did I say?”

  “You talk about my face as if it’s normal.”

  He was choosing his words carefully. She could tell from the cadence of his speech and how he paused between the words. But why?

  “Yes, I said you were…”

  She got it then—what she’d said. Not knowing if it was good or bad, she admitted the truth.

  She leaned toward him and lowered her voice. “Simon, I don’t see the scars. I haven’t for a long time.”

  Something flashed in his eyes. She would have given a lot to know what he was thinking, but he’d always been incredibly good at keeping his thoughts from her.

  “How can you not?”

  She shrugged. “You’re just you. That’s who I see.” They were getting into dangerous territory. “If we’re going to have this conversation, I think it’s about time you returned my never ending compliment. I mean, hello, I’m the girl here.”

  She spoke confidently, which was a complete crock, but he didn’t have to know that.

  One corner of his mouth turned out. “You’re right. We don’t talk about you enough.” He stared into her eyes with an intensity that made her squirm. “Have I told you how beautiful you are today?”

  She tilted her head. “Are you asking me if you said it today, or are you asking me if you’ve told me I look beautiful today? They are very different.”

  He surprised her by leaning back in his chair and laughing. The sound was loud and came from his belly and made her feel good all over.

  When he straightened, he looked more relaxed. Younger. “You are very beautiful all the time and I don’t think I’ve told you that yet today. While we’re on the subject, I am lucky to be with you. You’re extraordinary, Montana.”

  She felt herself blushing. “I was just playing.”

  “I was telling the truth.”

  She felt awkward and flustered, and didn’t know what to do with her hands. Fortunately their server arrived with their meals.

  By the time the food had been placed and their drinks refilled, the topic of conversation had been forgotten. Or at least not brought up again.

  “Reese came by to visit Kalinda,” he said.

  “I’m glad he’s still doing that. How did it go?”

  “I think it helped to have the distraction of company.”

  Montana wanted to ask how the girl was healing but knew Simon wouldn’t discuss that with her. The last few times she’d been there with Cece, one of the nurses had been in the room. She’d only been able to drop off the dog and then excuse herself. Next time she would try to speak with Fay.

  “I know you think I’m counting the minutes until I leave,” he said, “but that’s not true. Kalinda is an example of a patient I will regret leaving behind. She needs so many surgeries.”

  “The implication being another doctor won’t get it right?”

  “That makes me sound arrogant.”

  “You kind of are.”

  He gave her a reluctant smile.

  She was such a liar, she thought sadly. Pretending this was about Kalinda, when in truth his words had made her want to ask if he’d meant it when he’d said he would miss her. If he would have regrets about ending their relationship. When he left, would he remember her at all?

  “Enjoying your lunch?” Mayor Marsha asked as she walked up to their table.

  “Yes,” Montana said. “How are you?”

  “Very well.” The mayor turned to Simon. “I see you’re enjoying yourself in our lovely town.”

  “Yes, I am.”

  Marsha laughed. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to start on all the reasons why you should stay. But I was pleased to hear you’re coming to the hospital fundraiser.” She glanced back at Montana. “I can’t wait to see what you’ll be wearing, my dear. Remember, it’s cocktail-dressy, rather than formal.” She smiled at them both. “You’ll be a very handsome couple. Have a nice lunch.”

  “Thank you,” Montana murmured, staring intently at her plate.

  Fundraiser? Now that she thought about it, she remembered seeing posters about it around town. It was to raise money to support the work Simon was doing. Obviously it was something Simon had to attend—he would probably be the guest of honor. Usually people brought a date to an event like that. The mayor had assumed Simon’s date would be Montana.

  But he hadn’t asked her.

  Simon wasn’t the kind of man who forgot things. Even when he was busy, he knew exactly what was going on around him. Which meant he hadn’t planned on asking her.

  She wasn’t sure why. Whether it was the public nature of the evening, or him not wanting to lead her on about their relationship. All of which was logical. She supposed she should be able to understand and accept.

  But the truth was a voice was screaming in her head. A voice that demanded he explain how she could be good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to take to a stupid fundraiser.

  “I didn’t ask you because…” His voice trailed off.

  She raised her head and looked at him. He seemed more uncomfortable than embarrassed. And then she got it.

  For all her claims that she knew he was leaving, that all this was temporary, she’d assumed what they had together was still some kind of relationship. That they were together. A couple.

  That wasn’t the way it was for Simon. She was a convenience, someone he wanted and maybe liked a little, but no one significant. She’d been worried about whether or not he would miss her when he left. That was the least of it. What she should be more worried about was whether or not he gave a damn about being with her while he was here.

  Her chest tightened and her throat began to close. She recognized the symptoms and knew she didn’t have much time.

  She looked up and gave him what she hoped was a startled expression. “Oh, no. I just realized I’m supposed to be meeting Max. I can’t believe it. I need to hurry or I’ll be late.”

  She fumbled in her purse and threw a twenty on the table. “Sorry.”

  “Montana.” He rose when she did.

  She waved him back in place. “No. Please. Eat your lunch. This is my fault. I’m so scattered.”

  She offered a frantic little wave, then dashed out of the restaurant.

  Terrified he would follow her and demand to talk, she ducked into the closest store, then out the back, so she was standing alone in the alley. It was only then that she allowed herself to begin to cry.

  “I KNOW IT’S NOT MUCH,” Nevada was saying as she paced back and forth in Montana’s living room, a puppy in each arm, dodging the other two as she walked. “But I swear it was a moment.”

  Montana was still dealing with her luncheon revelation, so she was having a little trouble following Nevada’s story.

  “You saw Mom at the tasting room place outside of town, and she ran off when she saw Max? Are you sure those two events are linked? Maybe she was late for something or the date had been really bad.”

  “I thought of that.” Nevada sank into the chair opposite the sofa. “But there was that sec
ond when they saw each other. Mom went completely white. I was afraid she would pass out or something. And Max froze. I’m telling you, he’s the Max. Your Max is her Max.”

  Her mother and Max Thurman? “No. I can’t believe that. I’ve worked for Max for a year and she’s never said a word about him. It’s not like I don’t talk about my job or my boss.”

  “Hasn’t Max lived here before?”

  “Sure, but not for years. He left before we were born.”

  Nevada gave her a “See!” look.

  “You’re inventing drama where it doesn’t exist,” Montana told her.

  “I don’t think so. Look at the facts. Mom has the name Max tattooed on her hip. We don’t know much about him, except he used to live in the area, but not in town. He left before Mom and Dad got married. Max Thurman moves back to Fool’s Gold after being gone over thirty years. He’s mysterious.”

  “He’s not mysterious,” Montana said, interrupting. “He’s a nice guy.”

  “Where does he get his money? Doesn’t he finance all the work the therapy dogs do?”

  “We get some donations, but yes, Max pays for most of it. So, he’s rich.”

  “From what? Did he inherit? Rob a bank? Make great investments?”

  “We don’t talk about that.”

  “But he did live here before. Seriously, Montana, how many guys around Mom’s age who once lived in town are named Max? I’m telling you, he’s the one.”

  “I’m not sure I want him to be,” she admitted. “It’s weird to think at one time she loved a man enough to get his name tattooed on her body and then she met Dad.”

  Bentley scrambled into her lap. She patted him absently.

  “But you said Max was nice,” Nevada pressed.

  “He is. I like him a lot. I wouldn’t mind if he and Mom got together. I just hate thinking she loved someone else. You know, before.”

  “Because Dad should be her one true love?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why would knowing who Max is change that?”

  “Maybe it doesn’t.” Her mother was allowed to have a past. Everyone did. “You know what—if they’re the same Max, then this could be really interesting, right?”

  Nevada sighed. “Sorry. Why didn’t I see it before?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You. There’s something wrong. Is it Simon? Did something happen?”

  “No. Nothing happened. That’s the problem.”

  “I thought you’d slept together.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Sex doesn’t solve problems, it starts them.”

  “Which means something happened.”

  “I knew he was leaving. I’ve known from the beginning. Despite Mayor Marsha’s request that I convince him to stay, we all know that’s not going to happen.” She cuddled a sleepy Bentley. “But I was okay with that. I haven’t been attracted to someone in a while. I liked being with him and how I felt around him. So the leaving part was simply something I had to deal with.”

  “What changed?”

  Montana looked at her sister. “I thought he cared about me, too. I thought I was important to him. It turns out I was just a convenience. A way to get laid.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “That big fundraiser for the hospital? He’s the guest of honor or something like that. He didn’t ask me.”

  Nevada didn’t look as shocked as Montana would have liked.

  “And you’re sure that’s about you?” her sister asked.

  “Who else could it be about?”

  “Him. From everything you’ve said, Simon isn’t interested in being the center of attention. So why would he bring you to an event like that, where everyone will notice? Maybe this is more about protecting you than avoiding you.”

  “You can’t know that,” Montana snapped, annoyed Nevada wasn’t taking her side.

  “You can’t be sure you’re right, either. Not until you ask.” Her sister drew in a breath. “You tend to blame yourself when things go wrong.”

  “This time I’m blaming Simon.”

  “I don’t think so. Your description of the relationship is all about how you assumed things and you were wrong. What if you’re not wrong? What if instead of being a jerk, he’s trying to be nice? It’s not wrong to want to be with someone. It’s not wrong to think the regular rules of love, or like, or whatever apply.”

  “I hate it when you’re rational,” Montana grumbled, even as she thought maybe Nevada was right.

  “I’m just saying talk to him. Find out why he didn’t invite you to go with him. If he says it’s because he doesn’t care about you or wouldn’t be caught dead with you in public, then kick him in the balls and leave.”

  “He’s been seen in public with me before.”

  “Ask.”

  “Fine.”

  Nevada rubbed the puppies she held. “You know you’re falling in love with him, right? That’s the real problem.”

  Words Montana really, really didn’t want to hear. “I’m not in love with him yet.”

  Her identical-triplet sister shook her head. “Yes, Montana. You are.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  “THIS IS STUPID,” Daniel told Montana as he stood with his hands on his hips, glaring at her. “I don’t want to be here. I want to be out with my friends.”

  Montana put down the book she’d been holding and glared right back.

  “Wow. Talk about a news flash, because it’s the same thing you said last week and the week before that and the week before that. If you’re really sick of it, why do you keep showing up? What’s the point? Why don’t you forget it? After all, it’s just reading. You don’t need to go to high school and maybe play football. You could drop out and get a job. Oh, wait. You need to read to get a job.”

  She reached down to pet Buddy, who’d come over to check on her.

  “I’m tired of people not trying and then complaining when things are too hard. I’m tired of people not making an effort. Did it ever occur to you that Buddy here would rather be outside playing with his friends? But he’s not. He’s here to help. Because that’s just the kind of dog he is. And I’m here, too. Do you appreciate that? Do you thank us? Of course not. Because it’s hard. You know what? Sometimes life is hard. You have to learn to shoot a basketball in the hoop before you can be any good at the sport. At first you don’t get it through the basket very often, or even at all. But one day you do and then it gets easier. But only because you put in the work.”

  She grabbed the book again. “Here’s the thing, Daniel. I’m not giving up and Buddy’s not giving up and there’s no way you’re giving up, either.”

  By the time she wound down, the kid was wide-eyed and looking a little nervous. But he didn’t bolt or call for help, which she took as a good sign.

  She sighed. “I’m sorry. I know I’m ranting. It’s just, reading is so important. That’s why we have this program. A friend of mine was burned really bad when he was about your age. He spent nearly five years in a hospital after that, working hard to get better. Now he’s a brilliant doctor and he saves people. My nephew was in a car accident and his face got cut up. That doctor was able to help him. But what if he’d given up? What if he’d decided it was all just too hard?”

  “I’m not going to be a doctor,” Daniel mumbled.

  “How do you know?”

  He stared at her for a long time. “You’re really serious about this.”

  “Yes, I am. Are you?”

  “I guess I am now.”

  He took the book from her and walked over to the beanbag chair. Buddy followed and settled next to him.

  Montana slipped out of the room, but stayed within earshot.

  Things were pretty bad when she was going off on children, she thought with a sigh. All of a sudden her life seemed complicated and she wasn’t sure how to fix that. She needed a plan or a massage or maybe just a cupcake.

  Leaning against the wall, she listened to Daniel’s slow reading. As a
lways, he sounded out each word. The pace was painful and had to be discouraging him, she thought. Maybe she should talk to someone about helping him in a different way. Maybe the dog thing wasn’t working. “There…are…fif…fif…teen…shoes…un…under—” Daniel stopped for a second. “There are fifteen shoes under the bed.”

  He read clearly and without hesitating.

  Montana straightened but told herself not to get too excited. He might have accidentally memorized the sentence. But even as she tried to be calm, she knew that reading happened like that. One minute there was a collection of individual sounds, the next the sounds became words.

  “Fifteen shoes for fifteen boys,” he continued. “Mr. Smith knew everyone would be happy when he told him about the shoes.”

  Montana stared at the open door, wondering if she was hearing this right.

  Daniel kept on reading. Excitement filled his voice as he continued through the book. Then there was a slam and he came running out of the room.

  “I can read!” he yelled. “I’m reading this book. Listen.”

  With that, he opened it from the beginning and started the story over. He read through without hesitating, Buddy standing anxiously at his side, as if not sure this was a good or bad development.

  Montana grinned. “You did it!”

  “It’s like you said about shooting baskets. At first I couldn’t do it at all, but now it’s easier.” He ran down the hall to the cartful of books to be put back on the shelves. He shuffled through them and pulled out a story about a lonely bunny.

  “Lonely bunny was all alone,” he read, standing in the middle of the hallway. “All lonely bunny wanted was a friend. But when he hopped down to the pond, the ducks there wouldn’t talk to him. They turned their backs on him and walked into the water, leaving him behind.”

  Daniel looked up, his eyes glowing. “I can read.”

  Montana grinned. “You sure can. You’ve been practicing and getting better, but you couldn’t see it until now.”

  The boy crossed to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Thanks for yelling at me. It really helped.”

  “I’ll remember that for next time.”

  He laughed and released her, then hurried back to the cart. “Help me find more books, please. I want to take them home and practice. I can read to our cat, right? He’ll just fall asleep, but that’s okay. Then I can surprise my mom.”