I nodded. “I know. I think that’s going to change.” I looked back at Josh now. “And I totally get what you’re saying about reaching out to others. In fact, I’ve been praying that God will show me how to do it. And I’ve been trying.”
“So, it’s like we need both,” Josh said for clarification. “Any ideas how we can do that? Do we have two nights of youth group? One for bandaging up believers and one to bring others in to hear the Good News? Or what?”
Suddenly Chloe stood up. “I’ve got it!”
Everyone got quiet and looked at her.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to take center stage,” she said to her brother.
He laughed. “Hey, this is an open discussion.”
“Besides, we’re used to it,” quipped Allie.
“I want to hear what she’s got to say,” Caitlin said, leaning forward with interest.
“Okay.” Chloe took a deep breath. “This is the thing…As you guys probably know, Mike Trapp owns the Paradiso. And I was talking to him today, and he told me how he and Jill want to move to Arizona to be close to Jill’s mom since she’s pretty sick. And he told me that he’s going to sell the Paradiso. He jokingly suggested that Redemption should buy it and—”
“That’s a great idea!” Allie said, standing now. “We’ve been looking for some investment opportunities!”
“Yeah,” Chloe said, “and maybe we could use the coffeehouse for an outreach. Like make sure we’ve always got some Christian kids around to talk to other kids.”
“And maybe you could have an open mike night,” said Cesar. “Like Mike used to do. A way for kids to share their faith.”
“And maybe you could sell Christian books and music,” said Jake.
“We’ve got some direct outlets to that.” Chloe winked at Allie.
“This is a very cool idea, Chloe,” Josh said. “But before you commit to anything, you better put it all before God. You don’t want to jump into something without His blessing.”
“That’s for sure,” Chloe said. “And we need Laura’s blessing too.”
Everyone got pretty excited about this possibility, and we kicked around all kinds of ideas for how we could all help to make it work, including volunteering to work the counter and even sweep floors.
“Ben would be good at that,” teased Nat. And although a few people laughed, Ben didn’t look too pleased.
“We’ll talk to Laura,” Chloe finally said, “and get back to you.”
“In the meantime, let’s take a few minutes to lift this idea up to God,” Josh proposed.
After youth group, we continued to talk about the coffeehouse. Some started suggesting that we rename it—something that sounded “more Christian.”
“No,” said Chloe. “I think it’s just right as it is. We don’t want to make people uncomfortable being there.”
“Besides,” I said, “Paradiso means paradise. And that’s exactly what the coffeehouse should feel like. Coming to a little paradise where God is present.”
Chloe nodded. “Exactly!”
I felt excited as I drove home. Like I was actually going to participate in a mission of sorts. And now I’ve committed myself to really pray for this endeavor, that God will open all the right doors, and that our whole town will get blessed as a result.
Dear Jamie,
I’m sixteen and totally bored with my life. My parents tell me to “get involved” in something, but there’s nothing I really want to do. I don’t really like sports, music, drama, art, or anything to do with school. It’s like I don’t really want to do anything. Besides that, I don’t have any friends. What’s wrong with me?
Bored Girl
Dear BG,
Okay, my first reaction is that people who are bored are boring. And that might be why you don’t have any friends. Your parents are right; you do need to get involved in something. But my second reaction is to wonder why you don’t want to get involved. I’m guessing that 1) you’re just lazy and sitting in front of the TV or computer too much, or 2) you may have really low self-esteem, or 3) maybe you’re suffering from real depression. Only you can decide what the real reason is. But if it’s not the first one, you may need to get help. Start by honestly talking to your parents or a counselor, telling them how you feel. Then you might need a complete check-up with your family doctor to determine the next steps. But you need to DO something. It’s your life, and it’s up to you to get in there and live it!
Just Jamie
Six
Friday, October 27
“It’s a done deal,” Allie told me this morning. “Redemption officially owns the Paradiso. We signed the papers last night.”
“That’s awesome!” I told her.
“Yeah, everyone agreed it was a good investment. Our lawyer even told us that we might consider making it a nonprofit to offset our earnings.” She shrugged. “I don’t really get how that works, but our parents seemed to think it was worth considering. The cool thing is that we get to take occupancy this weekend.”
“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” I said as we walked to the science department.
“Great,” she said. “We’re going to need it. We’ve got all kinds of ideas. But for starters, Chloe thinks we should have like a board of directors or something like that. A group of people who can help keep it going in a good direction while were on the road, you know. And your name came up.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Chloe thinks pretty highly of you, Kim.”
We parted ways then, but all morning long I kept thinking how cool it was that they would consider me to be on their board. That means a lot.
Allie caught up with me again on the way to lunch. “I forgot to tell you,” she said. “We kind of want to keep it under wraps that Redemption is the new owner of the Paradiso.”
“No problem.” I didn’t mention that I’m pretty good at keeping secrets.
“I mean, we know that word will leak out, but we just don’t want to make a big deal of it. We want everyone to feel comfortable coming there—not like they’re going to church, you know?”
“I totally get that,” I told her as we got in the lunch line. “I remember how I felt before I gave my heart to the Lord. I wouldn’t have been comfortable in a place that felt dominated by Christians.” As I picked up a tray, I remembered how Natalie used to preach at me, how she used to try to get me to her church, how she wanted me to be “saved” and what a turnoff that was.
Hopefully we can protect the Paradiso from becoming like that. Funny how I’m already thinking “we” when it comes to this little business venture. You’d think I was investing my own money. But maybe it’s because I’m investing my heart.
Saturday, October 28
Laura came to youth group with Chloe and Allie tonight. And together, the three of them made the announcement about the Paradiso. They also made it clear that they wanted to keep this news as quiet as possible.
“It’s not like people should care who owns it,” Laura pointed out. “But it’d be cool if it didn’t turn into the focus.”
“And,” continued Chloe, “we decided that although we want the youth group in Faith Fellowship involved, we need to make it open to other churches too. So we don’t look exclusive. Although we do plan to keep a tight control over what can and cannot happen there.”
“Yeah,” said Allie. “We don’t want kids showing up trying to get other kids saved. I mean, that’s our goal, of course, but we don’t want that attitude like I’ve got to get this kid saved so I can put another notch on my belt,’ you know?”
“That’s right,” said Chloe. “It’s more about making friends, loving people right where they are, showing them that Jesus accepts us as is. And that He’s the one who does the changing.” She looked at Caitlin now. “The way my sister-in-law reached out to me a long time ago.”
Caitlin laughed. “Hey, I didn’t even know what I was doing back then, Chloe.”
“Well, God did, and that
’s how we want to treat others. Just by being their friend.”
After that, Josh did a great study about the way Jesus reached out to sinners while they were still sinning. I was really glad I’d brought a notebook and was taking notes. I have a feeling it’s something I’ll be reviewing from time to time.
“So you see,” he said in conclusion, “Jesus didn’t tell those sinners to clean up their act and to call Him when they had it all together. Instead, Jesus in essence said, ‘Let Me get to know you, and you get to know Me, and then let’s see what happens next.’ And, of course, all kinds of miracles happened after that.”
Now as I sit here, writing in my diary, I’m thinking that being a Christian is really pretty exciting. I can’t wait to see what God does next!
Tuesday, October 31
Tonight was the grand reopening of the Paradiso. Of course, no announcement about new ownership was made. But Redemption did run an ad in the paper announcing that they would be doing a few songs there on Halloween and also that there would be some special tricks and treats involved for anyone who came in costume.
And it was a totally cool night. The place was packed, and Redemption’s performance was really awesome. For the most part, they did songs with a gentle message. And finally Chloe did a solo with her acoustic guitar that went a little deeper. But not so much that it turned anyone off.
People in costume received a “treat” package that contained a free CD (that Redemption’s recording company donated), along with a coupon for a free coffee (for another date) and candy. I was in charge of putting these together and didn’t do a bad job if I do say so myself. Okay, I felt a little silly (at first) coming dressed like a black cat, but the idea was for me to stand at the door and give the packages away. After a while, I realized I was actually having fun.
People who weren’t in costume got a few tricks. Like a fake coffee drink that wouldn’t come out of the cup, or a can of those springy worms that was disguised as a to-go coffee cup. But people just laughed and had a good time.
I had hoped that Ben and Nat would come. She thought maybe he had the night off, but I didn’t see them. They missed youth group last week too. And I realize now as I’m updating my diary that I haven’t talked to Nat for more than a week. I hope everything’s okay. I’ll be sure to give her a call tomorrow.
Saturday, November 4
I called Nat today, and she did not sound like a happy camper. But, even so, she wouldn’t reveal what was wrong. The more I pestered her, the quieter she got. And then finally she just started crying.
“I’m coming over,” I tell her, not even waiting for her response. Then I hop in my Jeep and head downtown. And what I see when I get there is really unsettling. No, it’s worse than unsettling. It’s scary.
Nat does not look good when she opens the door. And it’s obvious that she’s been crying—a lot. The place is pretty much a mess, but worse than that, it stinks.
“What is that awful smell?” I ask her.
She points to the kitchen, where it looks like someone has been mopping the floor. “I was trying to clean it up, but it kept making me gag.”
“The smell is making me gag.” So I go over for a closer look and realize that someone has hurled all over their cruddy-looking linoleum floor. “Gross!” I say, almost stepping in it. “Are you having morning sickness again?”
She gets a funny look, as if considering this, but then just shakes her head. “Ben.”
“Is Ben sick?”
She shrugs. “Yeah, sort of.”
“Does he need to go to the doctor?”
She rolls her eyes. “Maybe to a shrink.”
“Huh?”
Now Natalie goes over to the futon and sits down, and putting her head between her hands, she starts crying again. Well, that smell is just about making me want to lose my breakfast, so I pick up the mop and pour some more disinfectant into the bucket, and holding my breath, I start cleaning up the mess myself. When I finish, I take the mop and bucket and set them outside their front door. I just want to get that smell totally out of here.
Then I go and sit next to Nat. “What’s going on?”
She looks up at me with red, swollen eyes, reminding me of the girl I put up with all last summer. “It’s Ben.”
I nod. “Yes. Ben threw up. But why?”
“He’s been drinking.”
“Drinking?” I actually blink at this news. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. He started drinking with some guys after work. He says it’s how he relaxes.”
“Seriously?” Now for some reason I have a hard time imagining Ben O’Conner drinking—let alone getting wasted, like it appears he must’ve done.
“Go look at him if you don’t believe me.”
So I decide to take her up on this and peek in the bedroom, where Ben is flopped across the bed, still dressed with shoes on, and looking pretty wiped out. I actually go over to see if he’s still breathing, and he seems to be. It smells disgusting in here too, so I just close the door.
“This isn’t good, Nat.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Does anyone know?”
“You mean besides his drinking buddies?”
“Yeah. I mean like Josh or Caitlin or his parents?”
She shakes her head. “No, of course not. Ben would freak if I told them.”
“Have you told your mom?”
Her eyes open wide. “No way!”
Okay, maybe I can see her point. Mrs. McCabe would flip out and then be furious with both Ben and Nat. She was barely keeping it together at the wedding. Maybe it’s better to leave her out of this.
“What are you going to do?” I ask.
“Do?”
“Yeah.”
She just shrugs.
“You can’t just let this go on. I mean it’s definitely not good for Ben. It’s not good for you either. And what about when the baby comes?”
“I know. That’s what I keep telling him. But then he just gets really mad…” She looks down at her rounded stomach.
I think about this for a moment. It’s just all so weird. Ben O’Conner drinking so much that he’s drunk, vomiting on the floor, and then getting mad? “How mad?” I ask Nat in a quiet tone.
“Really, really angry.” She looks up at me now. There are new tears in her eyes. “He says horrible things to me, Kim. I—I think he hates me.” And then she loses it.
I put my arms around her and hold her while she cries really hard. All I can think is, why—why—why? Why did Nat allow herself to get to this place? Why is she staying here? It’s obviously seriously messed up. What’s the point? Finally, she’s pretty much stopped crying, and she leans back into the futon and wipes her nose on the sleeve of her fairly grimy looking sweatshirt.
“I know you think I’m pathetic, Kim.” She looks down at her lap. “But I love him.”
I don’t say anything just yet. I’m trying to figure out what’s best to say. Finally I pray silently, asking God to give me the right words. I’ve blown it with Nat enough times in the past to know that this situation is going to take something more.
“Nat…” I begin slowly, “I know you love Ben. But you can see that there’s a problem here.”
She nods.
“And I know you’ve been trying really hard to make things work. And you’ve had a good attitude and everything…”
“I’m trying.”
“But maybe this thing—this marriage with Ben—maybe it just wasn’t meant to be,” I say.
She sits up straighter now. “We made our vows, Kam,” she says in a firm voice. “We promised God and each other that we would stay together for better or worse, in sickness and in health, and I intend to keep that promise.”
I nod, wondering how to possibly counter that. What would Jamie say? “But what if Ben can’t keep those vows, Nat? What if he—”
“He has to keep those vows. He has to stick with me. I’m having his baby. We’re a family.” She’s waving her han
ds for emphasis. “Yeah, I know it looks bad right now. Were just going through a rough period. It’s hard on Ben. He’s not used to working and going to school. And those guys he hangs with after work.” She just shakes her head. “They’re the worst. If he’d just lose the losers, everything would be fine.”
I don’t say anything.
“And, we need to get to church. We need to make it to youth group. Ben didn’t work last Saturday, but he went out with his new buddies. I was too embarrassed to come by myself.”
Now I hear a noise from the bedroom, and it sounds like Ben is waking up, and suddenly I feel totally weird being here. It’s like I’m completely out of my realm, and I really don’t know how to deal with this. “Nat, I love you, but something is really wrong here. And I’m worried about you. And Ben too.” I stand up and move toward the door. “You guys need help.”
“Do not tell anyone, Kim,” she says, standing too.
“How can I not?”
“You’re my best friend,” she says with a creased brow. “And I never would’ve told you if I didn’t think I could trust you. Ben and I are going to deal with this. And we don’t need a bunch of people interfering.”
“You guys need some kind of help.”
“No, we’re going to get through this, Kim. Pastor Tony told us during our premarital counseling that marriage isn’t easy. He said it’s something you have to work your way through, but that it’s worth it.”
“But, Nat—”
“No buts.” She gives me that look now. The one I’ve only seen a few times from her, but it’s to warn me not to step over the line. Our friendship is at stake.
“Okay.” I give in.
Then she hugs me. “Thanks, Kim. It means a lot that you came over. I know I can trust you. And really, I think this was just a good wake-up call. Ben will probably be really sorry today. He’ll probably realize that he needs to stop drinking and start acting more responsibly.”
That Was Then... Page 5
