Bound by Fate (Moon Bound Series Book 1)

by Mandy Lou Dowson

  “Oh, Gareth.” Her heart breaking, she put a hand on his cheek. He loved her. He really loved her. What a mess this all was.

  “Oh, Gareth? Is that it?” He stood, anger evident in his posture and his scent, and Beth struggled to think of how to explain the entire situation. “I see how it is,” he snapped. “I’ve behaved abominably, and you’re entitled to some anger, but dammit all, Beth, I know you want me. I know you feel the same way.” He turned back to her again, his face softening. “Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I mean nothing to you, and I’ll leave, alright?”

  She swallowed hard. “Gareth…”

  “Tell me!” he demanded.

  She began to reach for him, and suddenly she was in his arms, and his mouth was on hers, and everything felt right. His lips blazed a fiery path down her throat, his tongue dipping into the neckline of her tee, brushing the swells of her breasts, making her ache, making her need. All it took for her body to turn cold in his arms was the distant crack of a twig. She jumped, whirled and realizing it was only a passing animal, took stock of the ludicrous thing she was doing. Was she mad? Was he mad? They’d both be killed if Bradley ever found out. As it was, she’d have to scour herself in the shower to rid herself of the fresh scent of him. Madness.

  Steeling herself, and hoping the scent of her fear would mask the scent of her lies, she told him what he needed to hear. “Listen, Gareth. There was a time when if you had offered me all of this on a plate, I’d have taken it all and asked for more. That’s the honest truth. I even asked you for this once,” she replied with a bitter smile. “But you didn’t want to give up your Alpha position.”

  He shook his head, frowning. “I thought you understood that I wanted you to stay with me, eventually rule with me.”

  “That wasn’t the impression I got. Look Gareth,” she sighed, sorrow filling her. He hadn’t rejected her at all, he’d wanted her to stay and officially take him to mate. She was so stupid. But it was too late now. “I’m about to be mated to the Alpha. I am the Alpha Female here, a status I could never have achieved on my own in my old pack.” By referring to their pack as her “old pack”, she was subtly distancing herself from him, and he sensed it. “I have to stay here.” Another truth. “And I can’t leave.” Truth, again.

  “Right,” he replied unconvinced.

  Beth realized she’d have to notch it up if she was ever going to get him out of here with his life intact. “Don’t you hear me, Gareth? My place is here. Your place is there. The two do not coincide. You need to leave right now.”

  “I’m not going anywhere unless you’re with me.” The set of his jaw was stubborn, and stiffness of his shoulders said he wasn’t taking no for an answer.

  “Leave, Gareth. I don’t want you here. I don’t need you here. I don’t love you.”

  The afternoon sunlight chose that moment to shine brightly on his features, so she had a wonderful view of his face as it fell, as his eyes dulled and his mouth set in a grim line. She could hear his heartbeat speed up, and could smell his disappointment. She knew she was breaking his heart, but how else was she to save his life? Her own heart was breaking every bit as much.

  “So I was good for a roll by the riverbank, but not good enough to be with? Is that it, Miss Purebred?”

  Where's this coming from? She knew Gareth was a survivor, but she’d never guessed he had thoughts of not being good enough for anything. Certainly, he had never seemed insecure. If playing on his fears kept him safe, she’d take it. “That’s it exactly, Gareth. You were never good enough for me, but it was fun.”

  If he were a less restrained man, she fully believed he’d have struck her, so deep had her counterfeit scorn cut him. He took a step backwards, and then another. With his hurt plain on his face, he gave her one last searching look, and then shook his head once, turned around and walked away.

  Back in the relative safety of her bathroom, under a scalding shower, Beth sobbed so hard her stomach hurt. She could barely see the walls of the shower stall in the thick steam, and the power shower was certainly noisy enough to mask any errant sobs that might escape, but for the most part, she cried quietly. Heaving great sobs tore through her body, making her curl up on the floor in abject misery. At least Gareth was safe, even if his pride was wounded and his heart was broken, and he’d probably never trust another woman in his long life. Oh, God, what had she done to them both?

  If she’d only just stayed away from him in the first place. It was stupid to invite him into her bed in the old Den House to begin with. One night on a cold floor wouldn’t have killed him, but he could have been torn to shreds trying to reach her here. I’m a fool, she thought, scrubbing herself yet again with a scratchy loofah. Still the scent of Gareth clung to her like a shroud. If she couldn’t get herself clean before tonight, Bradley would know for sure and then God knows what would happen. He’ll probably run Gareth down just to show me he can.

  She was to have a pre-ceremonial dinner with her “mate” tonight. She imagined conversation would be pretty thin on the ground, and Bradley must have had the same thoughts, as he’d invited – of all people – Donovan to share it with them. She hadn’t spoken much to Donovan when she’d returned earlier, only enough to let him know Gareth was gone and wouldn’t be returning. Wisely, he’d asked no further questions, perhaps sensing her heartache, and had left her alone to gather herself.

  About as clean as she was going to get, Beth stepped out of the shower, and glared at herself in the mirror. You’re a damn fool, she told her reflection. Look at you. Look at what’s become of you. Pretty soon, this will look like a pretty picture, compared to how you’ll look after a few years of being mated to Bradley. She’d all but abandoned her escape plans in the wake of the events of the afternoon. What was the point? He really would run her to ground. She knew it. Better that she just stay here. She would never love – nor even like – Bradley, but she would, she resolved, love her children, and be a good mother to them, as her mother never was to her.

  “How beautiful you look, my mate.” Beth chose to ignore the compliment and took her seat at the foot of the table. “Don’t you agree, Donovan? Isn’t my mate a vision?”

  Uncomfortably shifting his gaze between his father and Beth, Donovan nodded slowly. “A vision, yes,” he agreed, grimacing.

  Bradley had reached a new level of cruelty by insisting that his son sit between his father and the woman he loved for a dinner nobody but he wanted to attend. The atmosphere was so thick you could walk on it.

  The dinner was a four-course farce, cooked to perfection and served in silence. The entire length of the meal, Bradley animatedly discussed how best to accommodate his new mate in the coming days, and how Donovan himself could help by giving them some time to become acquainted with each other. “I’m anticipating lots of new brothers and sisters for you, Donovan,” he grinned. “But of course, we’ll need plenty of time alone to accomplish this.”

  “Of course, Father.”

  “And then there is the matter of finding you a mate. You’re obviously ready, my son, and I wouldn’t want to stand in the way. I’m sure there are some females in the pack who would be more than willing to take a mate now that you are eligible again.” He laughed at this, and Donovan winced slightly. Beth felt exceedingly sorry for him.

  “I’m sure Donovan would like to take a mate eventually,” she interjected gently. “But perhaps he’s a bit gun-shy for the time being.”

  Donovan glanced sharply at her and she tried to convey with her eyes that she had meant to help him.

  “I’m sure you’re right, my mate.” He relished calling her that in front of his son. It was more than cruel, it was spiteful. “Well he can choose one at his own leisure, then, if it would make you both happy.”

  “It would,” Donovan replied quietly.

  “Did I tell you about my new plans for the territory?” he boomed, finishing his roast pork and discarding the napkin.

  Both Beth and Donovan shook their heads. Neither were i
nterested in anything but getting this evening over with. “I’m expanding,” he boomed again in his bone-grating voice. “I have had a few queries from…let’s say, others…who would wish to join our pack. So we would need to expand, and develop new Dens and perhaps even a new village outpost or two.”

  Others? It was not unusual for strays to wander into a pack on occasion and ask to join, but there would need to be at least another thirty or forty wolves to warrant new outposts. “That’s good news,” she replied diplomatically. “Where did these others come from?”

  “Oh, I can’t let you in on all my secrets, now can I?”

  “I suppose not.”

  “Let’s just say, our ranks will be bolstered significantly in the future, and if we were to be attacked, or say…go on the offensive with another pack, then we would have sufficient strength with which to do so.”

  Go on the offensive? He means war with another pack, and Beth could only think of one pack close enough to war with, and whom he’d had bad relations with for quite some time.

  “I had thought the entire idea of myself coming here, was to lay the bad blood between our packs to rest?”

  “Beth Tall Grass, don’t ever question your Alpha. Ever.” His heavy brows drew together in anger, his cheeks turning red and his grip so tight that the stem of his wine glass snapped off. He laughed, and drained the last of the wine, eyes lighting up with mirth before placing the discarded bowl of his broken glass on the table, where it rolled back and forth before coming to a rest. “I just said ‘if’ didn’t I?”

  “Yes, Alpha,” both Beth and Donovan replied at the same time, which seemed to entertain Bradley no end.

  “If I may be excused,” Donovan began, rising from the oak carver with grace and aplomb. “I have an early start in the morning – there are a lot of supplies to be brought back to the storehouse, you see – and I’d rather do it after a good night’s rest.”

  Bradley smiled at his son for a moment, his gaze flitting to Beth’s before announcing quietly, “that’s fine, Son. You go on ahead. I’m sure my mate and I will find some way to entertain ourselves in your absence.”

  On that note, Donovan fled, leaving Beth with nothing but her fears and her Alpha for company.

  Bradley rose fluidly and stalked toward her, like a predator closing in on his prey, which, Beth supposed she was. “You know, Beth. This doesn’t have to be difficult for you. I’ve been told many times that I am a wonderful lover.”

  She swallowed the retort that came to mind. “I’m sure you have.”

  He trailed a finger down her cheek, letting it rest on her jaw for a moment before continuing down her neck. She was wearing a rather demure blouse that evening, but Bradley made her feel as though she were naked, so ravenous was his gaze. His index finger played with the neckline of her blouse, skimming the exposed flesh. It felt like an invasion to her. “I can hear your heart beat kick up a notch, my mate. I’m sure you’re wondering how it will be between us.”

  Refusing to reply or even move at all, she chose to let him jump to his own conclusions.

  “I can tell you this, it won’t be all bad. Sure you’ll bear my young, but I can make it pleasurable for you.” His hand dipped beneath the neckline of her blouse quick as a snake and grabbed her breast. Beth fought for control, fought to sit still and let him win this little power struggle. Harshly he twisted one nipple, causing her to gasp aloud. “But I can also make it painful,” he whispered into the shell of her ear. “It all depends on you.”

  To Beth’s short-lived relief, he removed his hand from her breast, to pick her up and sit her on the huge oak table. Running his hands along the outside of her thighs, he rose her skirt high enough to expose her almost completely, before he settled himself between her legs, large, overpowering and frightening. His hot breath seemed to scorch her skin where it came in contact. Her neck, her ear, her jaw. He exhaled slowly, hovering above her lips as he waited for her reaction.

  She knew what he expected. He wanted her to push him away, to give him a reason to treat her roughly, so instead she reached up and grabbed him by the shirtfront, bringing his lips into contact with hers. His kiss was about as amorous as a dead fish sliding around in a wet bag, but she bore it with dignity, only releasing him when she heard a discreet clearing of a throat.

  “September, is there a problem?”

  “No, Alpha,” she actually curtsied. Beth wanted to laugh at the insanity of it all. “I just wondered if I should clear the table.”

  “When you’re needed to clear a table, girl, you’ll be called,” he said brusquely.

  September paled, lowering her gaze to the floor. “Pardon the intrusion, Alpha.”

  “No intrusion, September,” Beth replied with a smile she didn’t feel. “I was just saying goodnight to our Alpha, that is all.”

  Bradley scowled, but she knew better than to think he would argue in front of the girl – he wanted to appear sane. “Yes,” he ground out. “Good night my love, I will see you tomorrow for our ceremony.” It sounded more a threat than anything else, but Beth nodded and smiled softly.

  “Yes.” She took her leave eagerly. “Good night.”

  The morning dawned gray and bleak. Beth sat up, yawning and stretching, not remembering for a moment that her entire life was about to come crashing down around her. But like all bad dreams, it was hard to forget about for long. Considering staying in bed until evening, when she had to attend her own funeral, or what felt like it, she realized that she didn’t want to spend her last day in the house that would become her prison.

  She showered quickly and selected clothes suitable for both walking in the woods and for easy shimmering, and took off without a backward glance. She knew she still had two shadows, but as long as she didn’t do anything unexpected, she imagined they’d be content to follow and report. Along the way she met several of the pack, who all wished her well for her ceremony later on. She wished she could take some form of cheer from it, but the feeling that a lead weight had been placed around her neck and she was sinking fast, just wouldn’t go away.

  Shale was surprised when she showed up for her Herb Lore lesson, but he was happy enough to see her. The children, of course were delighted. This was the new Alpha Female, and they had her all to themselves for a couple of hours every morning. Not long into the lesson, she heard a soft whine coming from the direction of thick brush just inside the tree line. As the Alpha Female she didn’t have to explain herself to anyone – apart from her soon to be mate, that is – so she took off to explore the source of the crying. Misery loves company, she told herself.

  Beth realized as she got closer to the source that it was a wolf. Not having the mind link was really beginning to suck. Pulling apart the tendrils of brush, she gazed in to find a beautiful caramel wolf curled up, nose to tail, whining softly.

  “Hello?” The wolf glared at her, as if she’d intruded on a moment of privacy. Well if a wolf wants to cry privately, perhaps it should do so in its home, she told herself sternly, determined to not be put off. “You know I can’t help you if you don’t shimmer. Please…let’s talk.”

  Knowing that all requests from an Alpha are more like nicely worded orders, Beth was surprised when the wolf took off at a shambling run, quickly picking up speed. Whipping off her shift, she shimmered and bounded after it. For a moment, it appeared the wolf had eluded Beth, something that happened very rarely, and Beth lost her temper. What is with these wolves? Running away like that – they wouldn’t do it to Bradley.

  A scuffle up ahead – trampled twigs, cracked branches – alerted Beth to her prey. She quickly caught up to the wolf and nipped her hind-quarters in a small reprimand. The caramel wolf snapped viciously at Beth’s muzzle and tried to leap ahead. Beth had had enough. This was not how she would be treated as Alpha. Clamping down tightly on the errant wolf’s back leg, Beth brought her to a jolting halt. Fortunately, the other wolf gave up the fight after a series of angry growls from Beth, and she lay exhausted amid the t
angled roots of the trees.

  A moment later the shimmer began and Beth, so as not to make the other wolf feel any more threatened, shimmered herself. Soon, there were two naked females lying amongst the trees. The other was Felicity. “What is going on?”

  “I just wanted to be left alone,” the woman said, curling her long legs underneath her. She fiddled with a golden lock of hair, twirling it nervously around and around. “I just needed time to myself.”

  “I get that, I truly do, but all you had to do was say. What’s with the snapping jaws?” Still mildly annoyed, Beth sat up straight, confronting the apprentice head-on. “I am your Alpha. I deserve respect.”

  “Of course, I apologize.” The blonde’s entire demeanor changed to one of contrition and subservience, and Beth felt guilty. Who was she to demand anything of these people? She’d only just arrived and shaken things up here.

  “My…mate and I had a disagreement,” she went on. “He’s decided to see someone else. I’m sorry if I was aggressive with you.”

  “Oh, God, no I’m sorry. I had no idea.” How could she know? And who else but her would understand how devastated Felicity must be.

  “It’s quite alright. We weren’t Bound so…” She let the sentence trail off, and suddenly Beth began to wonder. “Felicity?”

  “Yes?” the girl seemed wary, as if she knew what the next question was.

  “Who was your…mate?”

  “I think we both know who he was, don’t we?” The girl changed her expression so quickly, Beth was sure she misinterpreted the split second of sheer hatred. “Bradley was my mate. And now he’s yours.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  This place keeps getting better, and better, Beth thought to herself savagely as she tromped through the village. Just as she was about to turn onto the path for the Great House, she heard furtive steps, as if someone were following her. Nothing new there, she thought. But when she turned around it was Marybell standing there holding a measuring tape. “Come now, Beth, we need to get your measurements.” The look Marybell gave her conveyed everything but measurements. Beth followed her to the cottage, where Margo was busy stirring a pot of tea, and munching on a bunch of grapes.