Always A Bridesmaid (Left At the Altar)

by Richards, Jana

  "Does anyone in your family know?"

  "Just Todd and Fiona, and they only found out because they ran into me and my...my boyfriend at a concert. They saw me kissing him, so I couldn't cover by saying I was out with a friend." Jonathan paused, taking a deep breath. "My boyfriend--Kevin--says I need to come out to my family. I hurt him badly when I refused to bring him to my brother's wedding, and he says he's tired of being my dirty little secret. We'd just had a fight on the phone when I knocked you over. He's threatening to leave me if I don't tell my family. But if I tell my family, I'll lose them. What am I going to do?"

  "Todd and Fiona obviously still love you. Are you sure the rest of your family wouldn't feel the same way?"

  "You don't know my dad. He hates fags. He was upset when I went into nursing because it was a 'woman's profession'. It would kill him if he found out his son is a raging queen."

  "Somehow you don't strike me as the raging queen type. You strike me as a regular guy, with a good heart, who's built like a linebacker and who just happens to like other guys." She took his hand. "You're still going to be his son, no matter what."

  "He might not feel that way."

  She couldn't argue with him there. She didn't know his father or his family dynamics. There was no telling how his coming out might go down.

  He squeezed her hand. "Thanks for listening, Dani. You won't tell anyone, will you?"

  "Of course not. Nothing you've said will leave this room."

  "You're sure? You won't tell Zach?"

  "No, I won't tell Zach." She paused, weighing her words. "Would it make you feel better if I told you my secret and swore you to secrecy? Then we'd be even."

  He chuckled. "What secret could you possibly have that could compare to mine?"

  "You know how Zach and I told everyone we're seeing each other? We made it all up." She told him about her encounter with Zach after his ill-fated wedding and then about the hasty arrangement they'd made when she arrived for the weekend.

  "Oh, what a tangled web we weave," he said.

  "I know. I feel like such a fraud." She sighed again. "Do you know what's worse? I wish it was all real. I wish Zach and I really were together."

  "Oh sweetie." He pulled her against his chest and gathered her close, kissing the top of her head. She snuggled against him, taking comfort from his large presence.

  "I know he'd never be attracted to someone like me."

  "What do you mean, someone like you?"

  She twisted the emerald ring on her right hand, a twenty-first birthday gift from her parents. "Someone who's not beautiful, or tall, or blonde, like Chantal. I could never compete with her."

  He snorted. "And look how well falling for that type of woman has worked for him. She's done nothing but hurt and humiliate him."

  "You heard him this morning. He practically went green when Camp suggested marriage to me."

  "I also saw him kiss you. That wasn't exactly a friendly peck on the cheek."

  She wondered about that as well. "I know but--"

  "But nothing. Even if this whole thing with you two started out as a rouse, Zach would be a fool not to see what a gem you are. If I wasn't gay, I'd give him a run for his money."

  She looked up into his face and laughed. "And if you weren't gay, I'd be thrilled to be your girlfriend." She sobered. "But that's not how things really are."

  "No, it's not. In real life things are pretty messed up."

  "They are." She laid her head against his chest once more.

  "It's a relief to tell someone the truth, isn't it?"

  "It is. Thank you."

  "Same to you." She felt him stroke her hair. "Dani?"

  "Yeah?"

  "What are we going to do?"

  "I have no idea."

  * * * *

  Zach made his way up to the third floor. Before he went off with the other men to whack a few golf balls and down a few shots of scotch at the indoor golf dome, he wanted to apologize to Dani for being such an ass this morning. Camp had caught him completely off guard with that comment about having a wedding. He shuddered. Just the idea of going through that hell again twisted his gut and made his head want to explode. But he'd made it sound as if it were the idea of marrying Dani that he couldn't stand. In truth, the concept of marriage in general made him queasy.

  He knocked softly on her door, listening carefully for sounds inside the room. All was silent. He was sure he'd seen her go up the stairs. Perhaps she was sleeping or in her bathroom. His apology would have to wait.

  Turning around, he was about to descend the stairs when he heard voices. He followed the sound to the sunroom at the front of the house. Through the glass door he saw Jonathan cradling Dani in his arms. She was curled in his lap, her eyes closed, her head resting trustingly against his broad chest. Jonathan gently rubbed her back and kissed her hair, as if comforting her.

  Jealousy slammed into his chest as hard and fast as a car hitting a brick wall.

  He quickly stepped back a pace so he wouldn't be observed. The scene he'd just witnessed was intimate and private, and none of his business.

  But that didn't stop the blood from pounding through his head and red dots of anger from forming in front of his eyes. He quickly left his hiding place and hurried down the stairs, disappointment following him all the way.

  He needed to be very careful to remember that Dani was only his make-believe girlfriend this weekend. Reading anything more into their so-called relationship would be a big mistake.

  * * * *

  After splashing water on her face and applying a little makeup to cover her red-rimmed eyes, Dani took a deep breath and steeled herself for her afternoon with Chantal. The other three women were waiting for her in the front foyer when she made her way down the stairs.

  "Having a little beauty sleep, Dani?" Chantal looked at her watch, not bothering to disguise her annoyance.

  "Sorry I'm late."

  Fiona looped her arm through Dani's. "Leave her alone, Chantal. We're going to have a simply wonderful afternoon of pampering and I won't let you ruin it."

  Chantal pulled on a leather glove. "All right, but don't blame me if the masseuse has to cut your session short because we were late."

  "Oh, for heaven's sake," Fiona said, rolling her eyes in exasperation. "Let's just go."

  Dani closed her eyes briefly and exhaled. The afternoon was going pretty much the way she'd feared it would. She wished she could disappear for a few hours.

  The ringing of Fiona's phone had them stalled before they reached the front door. She pulled the phone from her purse and checked the number. "I have to take this. It's my wedding planner."

  Chantal threw up her hands. "Now what?"

  "Don't worry, dear," Margaret soothed. "We'll get there. A nice massage will do you wonders."

  Dani wondered if it could turn her into a nicer person, but that was probably too much to ask.

  "Oh no!" Fiona said into the phone. "What are we going to do?"

  She turned her attention to her friend's tense phone conversation. Whatever it was about, it didn't sound good.

  "Okay Sonya, I'll take care of it," Fiona said as she scribbled something on a piece of paper. "I'll call you as soon as I can."

  "Is there a problem?" Margaret asked.

  Fiona looked close to panic. "There's huge problem. The bakery that made my wedding cake burned down last night. Everything was lost, including my cake."

  "How awful for you, dear!" Margaret said.

  Not so great for the bakery either.

  "The wedding planner found another bakery willing to make a duplicate of my cake on short notice, but it's way out in Oakville and they won't deliver. I'll have to run out there and pick it up."

  "But what about our mother-daughters spa day?" Margaret asked. "I was so looking forward to spending time with my girls. And Dani," she added as an afterthought.

  "I know, so was I, but I have no choice. We'll do this another time, I promise."

  Dani
saw her chance for freedom and grabbed it.

  "I can do it, Fee. I'll drive out to Oakville and pick up the cake, and you can go with your mother and sister to the spa."

  "I couldn't ask you to that," she protested.

  Please, please ask me! "You're not asking, I'm volunteering. Think of it as my wedding present to you."

  "How are you going to get there? You don't have a car."

  Zach and the other men entered the foyer. "How is Dani going to get where? What's going on?" he asked.

  Fiona filled him in on the situation. "Dani's offered to drive to Oakville, but she doesn't have a car."

  "She can borrow my SUV," Camp said. He dug in his pocket for the keys, then handed them to Dani. "There you go. Drive safely."

  "Wait," Zach said, placing his hand on her arm. "Doesn't the SUV have manual transmission? Can you drive a stick shift, Dani?"

  "I have driven a stick shift, on occasion." That occasion happened to be her one and only experience with a manual transmission, and it hadn't gone well.

  Zach read her hesitation. He took the keys from her hand. "I'll drive. You can navigate."

  "Oh Zach, thank you," Fiona said, throwing her arms around his neck. "I feel so much better about you going with Dani. She doesn't know her way around the city like you do."

  "Thanks for the vote of confidence." She felt like she'd been thrown from the frying pan into the fire. Instead of getting a reprieve from spending the afternoon with Chantal, she was now sentenced to hours of close contact with a man who didn't want to be in close contact with her.

  "You'll need to take the cake to the hotel and make sure the wedding planner gets it," Fiona instructed. "And since the rehearsal dinner tonight is at the hotel, maybe you should take the clothes you're planning to wear. You can change in Todd's parents' suite. There's not going to be time for you to come back to the house."

  "Don't worry, Fee. We'll take care of everything. I promise," Dani said. She kissed her cheek. "You just go and have a lovely afternoon."

  "You'll call and let me know when you get the cake to the hotel?"

  "Of course."

  Fiona visibly relaxed. "Thanks so much, you two. I love you both."

  "We love you, too. Now go, before your masseuse throws a hissy fit."

  The three women hurried out the door. Foster clapped Zach on the back.

  "I was looking forward to our afternoon at the dome. I'll have to beat you at golf another time."

  "We'll get together soon. You guys have fun."

  "Have fun, sweetie." Jonathan squeezed her hand and gave her a wink as he left. Dani looked up to see Zach staring at her.

  "Adele and I will hold down the fort here," Camp said. "We'll see you at five o'clock at the church for the rehearsal."

  Zach checked his watch. "We'd better get going. Grab whatever you want to wear tonight and I'll meet you out front with the SUV."

  She ran upstairs to her room, stuffed her things into an overnight bag, and within ten minutes was racing down the front steps of the house to the waiting vehicle. She hoped the salesgirl wasn't blowing smoke when she promised her dress was wrinkle proof.

  She hopped into the vehicle and tossed her bag in the back seat beside Zach's. Buckling herself in, she asked, "Do you know how to get to Oakville?"

  He grinned. "Not a clue. But this baby has GPS. It'll get us there. What's the name of the bakery?"

  She pulled Fiona's scrap of paper from her purse. "The High Tea Bakery." She gave him the address.

  He set the coordinates and then put the SUV into gear. "Here goes nothing."

  "In three hundred meters, turn left," the disembodied voice of the GPS droned in a cultured British accent.

  "Whatever you say," Zach deadpanned.

  They drove in silence through city streets following the GPS's directions until they finally reached the highway heading toward Oakville. Zach took the on ramp and merged with oncoming traffic.

  "You seem very...friendly with Jonathan," he said, while looking straight ahead.

  "He's a friendly guy," she said carefully.

  "Yeah," he said, glancing quickly at her. "Be careful there. The last couple of years he's gone through girls like some guys go through socks. I wouldn't want you to be another notch on his bedpost."

  "Don't worry. That's not going to happen." She knew that for a fact.

  "I hope not. I don't want you to get hurt." He checked his side mirror, shoulder checked, and then changed lanes. "Listen, I'm sorry about man-handling you this morning. I didn't mean for that kiss to get so out of hand."

  Her heart fell. That kiss had rocked her world, and he was sorry about it. She sat a little straighter in her seat and pasted a smile on her face as she faced him.

  "Hey, it's no big deal. It was just a kiss."

  He glanced at her before returning his attention to the road. "I'm glad you're not upset."

  "Of course not."

  Liar, liar, pants on fire.

  The silence stretched on for several uncomfortable minutes, grating on her nerves. She hated the tension between them. Finally she took a deep breath and made herself smile. "Todd seems very nice. How long have you known him?"

  "Since we had a freshman economics class together at U of Toronto. In fact, I was the one who introduced him to Fiona a few years ago, though I never dreamed they'd get married. I hope it works out, or I'm going to feel really bad."

  "I know what you mean. Years ago I introduced my brother to one of my best friends and they fell hard for each other. They were standing at the altar, about to get married when Tony decided to stop the wedding." She told him how her brother believed Olivia didn't want to marry him, but was afraid to say anything, so he spoke up on her behalf. Unfortunately, he had the whole thing wrong. "In the end, it turned out well. They're back together now and completely blissful. But they spent eight unhappy years apart, for which I felt totally responsible."

  "It wasn't your fault they couldn't tell each other how they really felt."

  "I know. But it broke my heart to see them so unhappy. Especially Tony. He and I are very close."

  "Tell me about your family. You said you have six older brothers."

  "I do. What do you want to know?"

  "As an only child, I guess I want to know what it's like to be part of a family that big. In case anyone asks," he added.

  "It's chaotic and loud and sometimes totally crazy. There have been times when my brothers have embarrassed and humiliated me, and for two cents I'd sell them all to the first bidder. But when it comes right down to it, I love and cherish every one of the big lugs."

  "You're very lucky."

  "Yeah, I think so. We never had a lot of money, but we always had everything we needed and plenty of love." She turned in her seat to look at his beautiful profile. "You were pretty young when your dad died. Do you remember him?"

  "I have snippets of memories of him," Zach said, his eyes on the road ahead. "I remember my mom and dad and me at the beach, and my dad chasing me through the shallow water. I remember Mom and Dad kissing. They were always kissing."

  "They must have been very much in love."

  "They were. I remember the funeral. The casket was black and my mother cried and cried. I remember thinking somebody should wake Dad up so Mom could stop crying."

  "Oh Zach. I'm so sorry."

  He shrugged it off. "I was only six. I didn't understand what was going on."

  "How did he die?"

  "An accident at work. He was a bricklayer and he fell off the roof of a house when he was working on the chimney. He wasn't given the proper safety equipment to be working up there. His employer was fined, but that didn't bring him back."

  She felt angry on Zach's behalf. He lost his father because some boss couldn't be bothered to pay for the equipment that would save his life.

  "What I like to remember is that my mother and I were loved. Maybe I've been looking for love like that all my life."

  "Is that why you asked Chantal to ma
rry you twice?"

  He flashed a grin at her. "Are you trying to psychoanalyze me, Ms. Freud?"

  She grinned back. "Maybe."

  "I know what you're thinking. A person would have to be crazy to subject himself to that kind of humiliation a second time. Maybe you're right."

  "Why did you ask Chantal to marry you the second time?" Dani held her breath, not sure if he would answer such a personal question, or if she had any business asking it.

  "I was only nineteen the first time I proposed to her. Like Mom said, I'd been totally hooked on Chantal since I was sixteen. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, and so different from the other girls I knew. So poised, so elegant, and so damn sure of herself."

  "And sure of her affect on men."

  "Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, you heard the story about how she broke our engagement to marry a guy with a lot more money."

  "Our friend Harry."

  "Right. I wallowed in self-pity for a while and drove my mom crazy with my whinging. Eventually I got a scholarship to university and immersed myself in work. I dated other women, but no one seriously."

  "Nothing could compare to that first love."

  "No, I suppose not." He shook his head, as if brushing away old memories. "Then four years after our first engagement ended, Chantal entered my life again. She was divorced from Harry and I was still in university, still broke. We had a short, intense affair before she left."

  "She left? Where did she go?"

  "To Paris. She hadn't bothered to tell me she'd been planning to go to the Sorbonne all along. Just when I thought we could make it work this time, she said goodbye."

  "That's awful."

  "Yeah, but at least I didn't propose that time."

  "I guess that's something to be grateful for. But I don't understand. She'd already dumped you twice. Why would you go back to her a third time?"

  He took a deep breath. "That's a question I ask myself all the time. Two years ago when we met again, she was newly divorced from her second husband and wanted to pick up where we'd left off. I was hesitant at first, and I made her work hard to win back my trust. She said our first engagement didn't work because we were so young, but now we were older and we both knew what we wanted. And eventually, I believed her. So I asked her to marry me again and she said yes."