No matter how uncomfortable their sessions had become, he still accepted responsibility for her recovery, and knew that she trusted him more than any other doctor on site. He wanted to be there for her, and only hoped that over time she would come to realize he was right in regards to Peter and the accident.
The real reason – the one he wouldn’t admit even to himself - was, he still wanted to see her. Even though they’d agreed to interact only on professional level, he still longed for her and thought day and night about the kiss they’d shared. Just looking at her made him feel good.
***
For Lara, the situation was becoming unbearable as well. Not only was she still dealing with guilt over the accident, she was now having to deal with guilt over having disappointed David. She longed to see him, to touch him, which was out of question. But the least she wanted was to make him proud of her. She saw the hurt in his eyes when she refused to take the leap of faith and apologize to Peter and that hurt her as well.
After two weeks of it, she couldn’t take it any longer. She had come to know several of the doctors on staff through the group therapy sessions and after speaking with each of them, she was able to get them to agree that she was ready to be released.
She hadn’t discussed it with David, because she feared what his answer would be. Going to the director instead, she filled out the paperwork, had the other doctors sign their consent, and submitted the paperwork that would finally let her go home.
She had made great progress in her time at the rehab center, and was confident that she could now return to her normal routine and handle life in a much more productive and rational way than before. And she wouldn’t have to see David every day. She hoped to forget him sooner or later and start a relationship with someone when she was ready.
David didn’t know about her request for release. Lara had tried to hurry up things to be gone by the time their morning session started, but had run late. About fifteen minutes later, David walked down the hallway and bumped right into her and her father in the main foyer. With her luggage by her side.
Lara had seen him and blanched, fearing the confrontation she knew she deserved. She gave him an anxious smile and said, “They’re letting me go home today.”
“I didn’t realize you’d been released,” David offered, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“I am ready. The other doctors agreed.”
“So you got them to sign off on your paperwork.” David stated the obvious, clenching his hands into fists in his pockets.
“I’m sorry. I just…I need to get on with my life…”
“What about Peter?” David asked, knowing that his pressuring her to deal with the accident had precipitated this defection.
Lara shook her head, “I can’t.” She answered him quietly, not quite meeting his eyes.
David shook his head and told her quietly, “This isn’t over, Lara. And it never will be unless you deal with it . Have a good life.” David turned on his heel and walked away.
Lara watched him go, sadness filling her heart. She really liked Dr. David Richards and sensed he was right, but she couldn’t do what he wanted. She just couldn’t. I messed up! I will never see him again!
“Lara, dear. Are you ready?” her father inquired, her luggage having already been taken to the car by the driver.
She turned to look at her father with a smile, “Yes, I’m ready.”
“Good.” Mr. Bishop smiled at his daughter.
As the car drove down the drive, Lara couldn’t resist one last look. Her time at the center had changed her life forever. David had changed her life forever. She was a much better person now and she’d learned from her past mistakes.
David’s last comments echoed in her ears, but she ignored them. He was wrong. She’d be fine once she got back to her normal routine.
Chapter 13
One week later…
“Lara, I’ve arranged a special dinner for us tomorrow night. I’ve invited all of your friends and associates…”
“Father, I really wish you hadn’t. I’m not ready for that kind of pressure yet,” Lara informed him over the breakfast table.
Since returning home, her father had been almost hovering around her. She knew he was happy to have her home once again, but he had taken to working part of each day from his home office, and had been home every evening for dinner. Something he’d never done routinely in her life!
“I just want to see you happy and thought…”
Lara cut him off with a smile, “I know. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, I really do. But I need to do some things for myself. Those people aren’t really my friends and who could blame them.”
“Has someone said something to you…”
Lara shook her head, “No! No one’s said anything unkind to me. And even if they had, I need to fight my own battles from now on.” She looked at her father, love shining from her eyes, “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but I have to stand on my own two feet. That means I need to learn to be a friend before I can expect to have any.”
Seeing the sorrow on her father’s face, she hurried to explain herself, “I’m not complaining, dad. I realized a few things about myself while I was in the rehab center. I saw myself for what I’d become, and I didn’t like it at all.
“I wasn’t a very nice person. In fact, I had actually become the bitch many people called me behind my back.”
“Lara, I’m sorry for my part in that. I guess I over-compensated for your mother not being around. Had I known that giving you everything you wanted would lead you to try and…” Mr. Bishop broke off, unable to voice her attempted suicide.
“I love you, dad. You know that right?” Lara waited until her father nodded his head. “I’ve done some thinking since I’ve been home. My doctor at the center and I became fairly close during my therapy sessions. I told him stuff I’ve never told anyone before.
I also told him about some things I’ve done that I’m very ashamed of. He gave me some advice about how to deal with my guilt, but I ignored him.”
“Doctors don’t know everything.”
“Well, in this case, I’m afraid he’s right. No matter what, I can’t seem to get away from the guilt. It’s part of the reason I ended up on top of that building, and I don’t want to take the chance of this happening again.” Seeing the fear on her father’s face, she gave him a smile and then said, “I’m not going to let that happen. That’s why I’ve decided to take his advice.”
“What advice is that?” her father asked, not sure where this conversation was going, but willing to help her get things sorted out.
“Well, I think I should probably tell you the entire story so you’ll understand his advice. Remember when Peter was injured while in Spain?”
“Yes. A hit-and-run driver if I remember correctly.”
Lara averted her eyes for a moment, not willing to see the disappointment in her father’s when she told him the next part of the story. She took a deep breath and stated, “I was the hit-and-run driver.”
Mr. Bishop looked at his daughter across the table and tried to figure out what she had just said. Surely she hadn’t just told him she tried to kill Peter by running him over? Not his Lara. She couldn’t do something like that!
“Lara, I’m sure you’re mistaken.”
Lara looked at her father with a serious face, shaking her head, “Dad, I was driving the car that hit him. There’s no mistake.”
“But, surely it was an accident?”
“I did try to swerve and avoid hitting him at the last moment, but when I pressed down on the gas pedal, I meant to hit him and Rachel. I was so jealous that he was holding hands and smiling at her. I just saw red and reacted.”
“But, wasn’t Peter in Siurana? You weren’t even in that town - ever.”
Lara sighed, knowing she would have to tell him all the sordid details, “I followed them. I’d been doing it for quite some time. I have no excuse except that jealousy
was driving my actions.”
It grew very quiet for several minutes as she gave her father time to digest all she had just told him. Finally, she continued, “When I told David…”
“Who’s David?” her father inquired with a narrowed gaze.
“My therapist at the clinic. We were all on a first name basis there. Anyway, when I told him what I’d done, he said the only way to get rid of the guilt was to come clean about my actions and ask for forgiveness from Peter and Rachel.”
Mr. Bishop shook his head, “You’re not going to the authorities with this until you’ve spoken to my lawyer.” He reached into his pocket and withdrew his cell phone.
“Dad, wait! David wasn’t suggesting I contact the authorities. He was suggesting I go talk to Peter and Rachel. It’s their forgiveness I really need anyway.”
“What a silly idea! You’re not telling anyone without talking to my lawyer first. He will know how to handle this best. What if Peter, or his girlfriend, decide to sue you? They can you know. Even though it happened on foreign soil, they could still sue you for wrongful injury. Why, they could ruin you!”
Lara shook her head, “No lawyer. I don’t know what Peter or Rachel’s reaction will be, but whatever it is, I’ll deal with it. On my own. I have to do this.”
“You certainly won’t to do this on your own. People in our positions never handle things like this on their own.”
Lara could see her father was getting angry at her refusal to speak to his lawyer. “Dad, I don’t think Peter or Rachel are going to do anything except slam the door in my face.”
Mr. Bishop didn’t like that option either and snorted his disapproval. “Why not let me have my secretary set up a meeting for us all in my office. We can have my lawyer listening in and standing by just in case he’s needed.”
Lara shook her head, “No. I think I need to go see Peter by myself. I need to talk to him without the lawyers and such around so he knows I’m serious about asking for his forgiveness.”
“What about the girlfriend? Will she be so accommodating?” her father asked.
“Probably not. I wouldn’t be if I were her. I can’t believe how mean I was. I even set her hair on fire, hoping she’d burn in purgatory.”
Her father looked at her like he was seeing someone else. Lara sadly nodded her head, “Yeah, her accusations were true. I’ve behaved like an immature psychopath where she was concerned and I need to ask her forgiveness as well. Whether or not she grants it, isn’t my problem. But this is something I need to do to grow up – to take responsibility for my actions and live with the consequences.“
“Are you sure? My lawyer can be here within the hour.”
Lara nodded, “Yeah, I’m sure.”
“At least let me come with you, just in case”, her father insisted.
“No, I can’t rely on you saving me over and over again from my own follies like you’ve done for the past twenty years.”
Her father sighed, but then nodded, “Well, if you need anything or change your mind, I’ll be in my office. When do you plan on going to see Peter?”
Lara looked at her father and shook her head, “Don’t interfere in this dad. And, I thought I’d go see him first thing tomorrow morning. I need to think about a few more things before I’m ready to do this.”
“I’ll have my driver stick around…”
“No. I’ve already decided I’m going to take a taxi. I don’t want anything to prevent me from carrying this out once I start. If I drive myself, or have a driver take me, it will be too easy to chicken out. No, I’ll take a taxi and when I’m ready to come home, I’ll either call the driver, or another taxi.”
***
Mr. Bishop left the dining room, having gained a new respect for his daughter, and secretly thrilled at the way she was intending to handle things. After she had her say with Peter, he would need to speak to the man and do some damage control of his own.
While reached for his cell phone again to call his lawyer, he already thought about ways to make sure, Peter wouldn’t sue Lara. Getting grown up and all, he wasn’t willing to let her get harmed.
He remembered that the man almost lost his company, because he had pulled all his work from them. They’d been almost like friends before that, but he wasn’t sure how much remorse Peter held against himself. No, he’d let Lara have her say, and then he had several new projects in the works and would give Peter and Steve a shot at them. That would be a good start to have a good relationship again.
Chapter 14
Present day, back in Peter’s apartment…
Lara sat on the small couch in Peter’s living room, waiting for Rachel to return with Peter. Hearing a noise in the hallway, she saw Rachel returning, without Peter and she inwardly cringed. She hoped he wouldn’t refuse to see her!
Rachel entered the room, looking at Lara with dislike, “Peter’s finishing up his shower. He’ll be out in a minute.”
Lara gave her an insecure smile, "Actually I wanted to talk to you too. I have done some really bad things."
Her hope that Rachel would say something to help her out wasn’t fulfilled. That woman but she wasn't willing to let her off the hook that easily. Not yet. "Yes, you have. Go ahead and speak."
Lara looked at her and began talking, "I don't know what came over me. I was so much in love with Peter, or thought I was. You have to understand, it was the first time a guy had ever liked me. Not my father's money, but me. He didn’t care at all about how much money my father made, or how much influence he had in business. Peter was successful on his own merit and didn’t need me to advance his career. That was a first for me. He didn't want me as a trophy, or an ornament on his arm. He liked me for myself."
Before Rachel could reply, or Lara continue, Peter walked into the room, his hair still damp from his recent shower. He looked from Rachel to Lara and then leveled disbelieving eyes on the person seated in the room. “Lara what are you doing here?"
Distrust in showing in his face, he glanced at Rachel, who seemed clearly uneasy with Lara’s presence.
Lara answered, silently praying for a chance to do what she’d come here to do. “I came to apologize. Please hear me out."
She put on her most sincere face and patiently waited, while Peter shared a quick glance with Rachel. When no objection came from her side, he nodded his head and sat down in the oversized chair by the window, pulling Rachel down to sit in his lap.
Lara noticed that the only other seating in the room was next to her, and neither of them wanted to sit there. She cringed, but could understand why.
She tried a smile to hide her nervousness, but she was afraid it didn’t come out as she intended. Rachel gave her a furious look.
She’s suspicious! Well, there’s no reason! For the first time since Peter had broken up with her, Lara didn’t feel the least bit jealous that Rachel was so cozy with him. In fact, they looked cute together! She didn’t tell them this, not seeing as how it would help what she’d come here to do. But she took a mental note, glad that she at last, wasn’t having that horrible green-eyed monster nagging at her anymore.
“Peter, when we first started dating, you made me feel so special. For the first time in my life, my father’s money was irrelevant. It didn’t seem to matter to you, you loved me for myself.
The longer we dated, the more I let myself believe that you were ‘the one’ and that we would always be together. I started getting worried that I wasn’t enough to keep you. I got really clingy, but I couldn’t see that the more I tried to hold onto you, the more you retracted from me.”
Peter nodded sadly, “I remember.”
“I know now you felt trapped by me. But, I couldn’t risk you waking up one day and realizing that I wasn’t worthy of your attention or love. Those fears and insecurities drove me to become even clingier.
The more distant you became, the more fearful I got. I couldn’t see it back then, but you weren’t ready for marriage and all the stuff that came with it. Neither
was I. I see that know, but back then, I let my fears dictate my actions.”
Peter looked at her with incredulous eyes and simply said, "Please continue."
Lara nodded at him, getting more secure by the minute, "I knew things weren’t going the right direction, but I couldn't change it. It was like this invisible force was driving me to hold onto you however I could. When you turned away from me, I purposely started flirting with other men, just to get your attention. I thought if I could make you jealous enough, you’d realize the error of your ways and come back to me. But the more I did that, the more you drew away from me."
Peter jumped up, displacing Rachel from his lap and grabbing her arm just before she fell to the floor, "What did you expect?" He gave Rachel a rueful smile of apology before turning toward Lara again.
Rachel put her hand on Peter's shoulder and said in a calming tone, “Peter.”
Lara continued, ignoring his outburst, "…and then you broke up with me." While saying this, she almost broke into tears. The emotions she’d been going through came rushing back and she struggled to deal with them on a rational and real basis, as David had taught her.
"It was the first time in my life that I didn't get what I wanted, and I didn't like it one bit. When I heard that you were dating someone else, I saw red. I wanted to hurt Rachel and drive her away. I threatened her, and I tried to set her hair on fire.”
Lara paused, trying to deal with the past emotions without letting them dictate her future. When Peter started to speak, she shook her head and stopped him, "There's more. Please, I need to finish this and tell you all of it."
Pete and Rachel looked incredulous, what else could there be? Lara took a deep breath, and then in a rush, finished it, "I was the hit-and-run driver."
Rachel jumped up from her seat on Peter’s lap, pointing her finger at Lara, “I knew it! You are vile!"
Lara broke into tears of remorse, knowing that Rachel’s character assessment had been true at one point.
Falling for Him 4 (Rachel and Peter in Love) Page 6
