Devil’s Food Cake Murder

by Joanne Fluke

  “Nothing I can think of. Matthew was a lovely person. He liked everyone and everyone he met liked him.” Grandma Knudson stopped talking as Marguerite came into the sitting room carrying a tea tray. “Oh, thank you, Marguerite. Just set it right here and Hannah will pour, won’t you, dear?”

  “Of course,” Hannah said, handling the delicate bone china with care as she poured coffee and passed the cookie plate.

  Once they’d sipped their coffee and pronounced it good, and taken bites of their cookies and pronounced those excellent, Grandma Knudson turned to Hannah again.

  “Tell Mike what you and Andrea found out when you called the seminary to check Matthew out for me,” she said.

  Mike’s eyebrows raised. “You checked out Reverend Matthew?”

  “Yes,” Hannah said, and proceeded to tell him everything they’d learned about the minister who’d become the unfortunate victim of violent crime.

  “Why don’t you go home,” Lisa said after the third time Hannah had forgotten to put sweetened dried cranberries in a batch of Boggles. “Your mind’s not on baking, and I can finish up here by myself. Are you okay to drive home? Or should I call Herb to give you a ride?”

  “I’m fine,” Hannah told her, even though she was about as far from fine as she could get and still manage to function. She was still rattled after finding Reverend Matthew’s body, but that wouldn’t affect her ability to step on the accelerator, apply the brakes, or steer her cookie truck down the road to her condo complex.

  Lisa noticed the play of emotions on Hannah’s face and wrinkled her brows in concern. “What is it? You look really sad.”

  “It’s silly,” Hannah said. “I’m anthropomorphizing.”

  “Attributing human characteristics to something not capable of having them?”

  “Yes. I keep thinking about Jacob.”

  Lisa looked lost for a moment and then she asked, “Who’s Jacob?”

  “Pete Nunke’s mynah bird. They’re keeping him at the parsonage while Pete recovers from back surgery.”

  “But Jacob’s okay, isn’t he? The killer didn’t …”

  “No, Jacob’s fine,” Hannah interrupted Lisa’s thought to reassure her. “But Jacob was in his cage at the church office when Reverend Matthew was murdered. He must have seen the whole thing.”

  Lisa gave a little shiver. “That’s awful, all right! They say mynah birds are very intelligent. I wonder if Jacob could identify the killer.”

  “Only on a bad TV detective show.”

  “You’re right.” Lisa gave a little laugh. “I guess Jacob’s lucky he’s a bird. After all, what is he going to say if they put him on the witness stand? Polly wants a cracker?”

  Now it was Hannah’s turn to shiver. And she shivered so hard, Lisa noticed.

  “Now what’s the matter?” Lisa asked her.

  “I just remembered what happened right after I found Reverend Matthew’s body.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I was just standing there staring at Reverend Matthew’s body and his voice said, The wages of sin is death.”

  “His voice? You mean…Reverend Matthew’s voice?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then he wasn’t dead?”

  “Oh, he was dead. One look and I knew that. But his voice came from above and behind me. For a split second there, I actually thought something supernatural was going on.”

  “Like the restless spirit of someone who’d suffered a terrible wrong and died in the process?”

  “Exactly. And then I looked up and saw Jacob in his cage and realized that he must have learned to imitate Reverend Matthew’s voice. I know everyone at the parsonage was trying to teach Jacob to repeat Bible verses, and that must be one he learned from Reverend Matthew.”

  Lisa gave another little shiver. “Or maybe…just maybe…Jacob learned it when Reverend Matthew said it to his killer.”

  “Now that’s really creepy!”

  “I know. Can I use it tomorrow at story time?”

  Hannah laughed. She couldn’t help it. Lisa loved to embellish the story of how Hannah had found the most current murder victim, and their customers looked forward to hearing the tale. By the time Lisa performed her one-woman show, and it was a show, no doubt about that, Hannah probably wouldn’t recognize herself.

  “Can I?” Lisa prodded.

  May I, not can I, the grammarian in Hannah’s mind corrected, but she didn’t say it out loud. That might embarrass Lisa. “It’s fine with me,” she said instead. “Do you want me to tell you how I found the body? Or would you rather fabricate the whole thing?”

  “Tell me,” Lisa said quickly, rushing to the drawer where Hannah kept her stash of shorthand notebooks, and coming back to the workstation with notebook, pen, and fresh cups of coffee for both of them. “I’m ready,” she said, opening the notebook and readying her pen. “Shoot.”

  “Don’t say shoot.”

  “He was shot?” Lisa looked horrified when Hannah nodded. “Oh, dear! That’s just awful! I wish he’d been stabbed, or bludgeoned, or smothered, or something.”

  “Why?” Hannah was puzzled at Lisa’s reaction.

  “The shooting sports are going to take it in the chops again when people find out that Reverend Matthew was shot. The politicians are already making noise about declaring our guns illegal. If they do that to us, they ought to make knives, and hammers, and pillows illegal, too!”

  “I’m sorry, Lisa,” Hannah commiserated. She knew Lisa and Herb enjoyed competitive shooting.

  “So am I. Herb and I love to shoot trap and skeet, and he says I’m getting pretty good at it. And we love to get all dressed up in Wild West outfits to compete at cowboy shoots. If they make our guns illegal, we’ll have to…to…to go bowling instead!”

  Hannah came very close to laughing, but she managed to contain herself. Lisa had spit out the word bowling the way Hannah and her sisters used to spit out watermelon seeds in the backyard to see who could reach the greatest distance. “Careful, Lisa. Alice Vogel wouldn’t be happy to hear you say that. And she’s one of our best customers.”

  “You’re right.” Lisa looked a little sheepish. “There’s nothing wrong with bowling. A lot of people love to bowl. And Alice does a great job running the leagues down at Ali’s Alley. But I like shooting a million times better than bowling. Just think about it, Hannah. You could kill a person with a bowling ball, too!”

  Hannah could tell that Lisa was getting worked up again, and she gave her a comforting smile. “It’s really unlikely that they’ll make guns illegal in Minnesota. We need hunting to keep down the deer population, and people come from all over to hunt and fish. Those tourist dollars speak loudly. They stimulate the economy of towns all over Minnesota. And there are the farmers who live way out in the country. They have to protect their livestock from predators.”

  “That’s right. And there’s something else about the farmers, especially in the winter when they live miles from their nearest neighbor. Remember when Arnie Carson fell down and broke his ankle during that storm last year, the one that took down the phone lines?”

  “I remember.”

  “Well, Arnie couldn’t walk on it and Sadie couldn’t get him into the house by herself.”

  “I can understand that. Arnie’s a big guy and Sadie’s really tiny.”

  “That’s why Sadie went into the kitchen, brought back Arnie’s shotgun, and fired it off three times at a snowbank. It was a signal they’d worked out with their neighbors. You can hear a shotgun blast a long ways away and that’s how she let them know that she needed help.”

  “That’s very smart.”

  “Yes, it is. And it goes to show that guns can be used for other things, not just for weapons. I just hope you’re right about Minnesota voters, Hannah. I don’t want to have to give up the new shotgun Herb gave me as a wedding present.”

  “That’s a new twist on a shotgun wedding.”

  “I know. Everybody makes that joke.” Lisa was smiling
as picked up her pen again. “Now tell me exactly what happened after Grandma Knudson sent you over to the church office to fetch Reverend Matthew for lunch.”

  BIG SOFT CHEWY MOLASSES COOKIES

  Do NOT preheat oven yet—this cookie dough needs to chill.

  Hannah’s 1st Note: Lois does this all by hand, but we use our stand mixer down at The Cookie Jar. She also makes these as rolled cookies, rolling out the dough a quarter-inch thick on a floured board and using a 3 and ½ inch round cookie cutter to cut them out. In the interest of saving space and time, we do ours as refrigerator cookies.

  1 and ¼ cups white (granulated) sugar

  1 teaspoon salt

  1 and ½ teaspoons baking soda

  1 and ½ teaspoons ground ginger

  1 cup light molasses (I used ½ cup dark molasses mixed with ½ cup light Karo syrup)

  2 beaten eggs (just whip them up in a glass with a fork)

  1 cup (2 sticks, 8 ounces, ½ pound) salted butter, melted

  2 Tablespoons (1/8 cup) hot water (hot water right out of the tap is fine)

  4 cups quick-cooking oatmeal (dry, right out of the package—I used Quaker’s Quick-1 Minute)

  4 cups all-purpose flour (don’t sift, but don’t pack it down either—scoop it out with your measuring cup and level it off with a table knife)

  1 and ½ cups raisins (I used golden raisins)

  1 cup chopped nuts (I used walnuts)

  approximately ½ cup white (granulated) sugar for a topping

  Put the sugar in the bottom of the bowl of your mixer and turn it on LOW speed.

  Add the salt, baking soda, and ground ginger. Mix them in thoroughly.

  Now add the cup of light molasses. Keep mixing until everything is thoroughly blended.

  Add the beaten eggs. Mix until they’re well incorporated.

  Melt the butter, either on the stovetop in a small saucepan, or in a microwave-safe bowl on HIGH for 90 seconds in the microwave. (Stir the butter around after microwaving and if it’s not melted, give it another 20 seconds.)

  Add the melted butter to the your bowl and mix it in.

  Add the 2 Tablespoons of hot water to your bowl and mix it in.

  With your mixer still on LOW speed, add the oatmeal in one cup increments, making sure to mix after each addition.

  With the mixer still on LOW speed, add the flour in one cup increments, making sure to mix after each addition.

  Add the raisins and mix them in.

  Finally, add the nuts and mix thoroughly.

  Remove the bowl from the mixer and give it a final stir by hand. This dough will be fairly thick.

  Cover the cookie dough with plastic wrap and put the mixer bowl in the refrigerator for an hour. This dough will be easier to work with if it’s chilled.

  There are THREE ways to bake these cookies. They all turn out about the same, so you choose the way you like best. I’ll give you the way Lois uses first:

  Way to Bake #1—The Rolled Method

  Divide the chilled dough in half. Put one half in the refrigerator and round the other half into a big ball.

  Sprinkle your breadboard with flour. Set the dough ball in the center and flatten it with your palms.

  Sprinkle the top of the flattened dough ball with flour.

  With a rolling pin, roll out the cookie dough to ¼ inch thick. Cut the dough into 3 and a half inch circles with a round cookie cutter. (If you don’t have a cookie cutter that size, I’ll bet you have something in your kitchen that you can use for a cookie cutter. I had a plastic drinking glass that measured 3 and a half inches across, and I used that.)

  Place the round cutouts on a greased cookie sheet leaving 2 to 3 inches between the cookies. A standard-size cookie sheet will hold 6 cookies of this size.

  Brush the tops of the cookies with water and sprinkle them with sugar.

  Bake at 375 degrees F. for 9 to 10 minutes or until slightly brown around the edges. (Mine took the full 10 minutes.)

  Remove the cookies from the oven, leave them on the cookie sheet for a minute or so, and then remove them to a wire rack.

  Cool the cookies completely and then store them in a tightly covered container or cookie jar.

  If you just don’t want to make rolled cookies, I’ve found an alternative. Here’s the ball and sugar method:

  Way To Bake #2—The Dough Ball Method

  This way is fun and easy, and it doesn’t require a breadboard, rolling pin, or flour. You also get sugar on the tops AND bottoms!

  Roll the chilled dough in 2 and a half inch balls with your fingers. (That’s approximately the size of a plum.) Roll the dough ball in a bowl of sugar and place it on a greased (or sprayed with Pam or another nonstick cooking spray) cookie sheet. Flatten it to a quarter-inch thick with a wide metal spatula or your impeccably clean palm.

  Repeat the process of rolling dough balls, coating them with sugar, and placing them on the cookie sheet. They should be 2 to 3 inches apart and a standard-size cookie sheet will hold 6 of these big delicious cookies.

  Bake at 375 degrees F. for 9 to 10 minutes or until slightly brown around the edges. (Mine took the full 10 minutes.)

  Remove the cookies from the oven, leave them on the cookie sheet for a minute or so, and then remove them to a wire rack.

  Cool the cookies completely and then store them in a tightly covered container or cookie jar.

  The third way to make the cookies is the refrigerator method. It takes a little longer, but it’s very simple. Here it is:

  Way to Bake Cookies #3—The Slice Method

  Divide the chilled dough into 2 parts. Return the 2nd part to the refrigerator while you work with the 1st part.

  Tear off a sheet of wax paper that’s approximately a foot and a half (18 inches) long. Flip it over so it doesn’t roll right back up again for you and lay it out on your counter with the long expanse facing you.

  Plunk your chilled dough down on the wax paper and use your hands to shape it into a foot-long log. (This may remind you of playing with modeling clay in kindergarten.)

  Center the cookie dough log at the edge of the long expanse of wax paper and roll it up.

  Twist the ends of the wax paper to secure the log of cookie dough inside, and place it in your refrigerator.

  Leave it there overnight so it’s chilled thoroughly.

  In the morning, when you’re ready to bake, preheat the oven to 375 degrees F., rack in the middle position.

  While you’re waiting for your oven to preheat, grease (or spray with Pam or another nonstick cooking spray) your cookie sheet.

  When your oven comes up to temperature, remove the log of cookie dough from the refrigerator. Unroll it and use a sharp, thin knife to slice off 6 quarter-inch slices.

  Put some white sugar in a bowl with a fairly flat bottom and, one by one, lay the cookie slices in the bowl. Flip them over to coat the other side with sugar and then place them 2 to 3 inches apart on the cookie sheet. A standard-size cookie sheet will hold 6 of these large cookies.

  Bake at 375 degrees F. for 8 to 10 minutes or until slightly brown around the edges. (Mine took the full 10 minutes.)

  Remove the cookies from the oven, leave them on the cookie sheet for a minute or two to set up, and then use a flat metal spatula to remove them to a wire rack. Cool the cookies completely and then store them in a tightly covered container or cookie jar.

  It doesn’t really matter which way you choose to prepare the cookie dough for baking. Whether you roll them out with a rolling pin, form them into dough balls, or slice them, the bake time will be approximately the same, the cookies will be delicious, and the yield will remain approximately the same.

  Yield: 3 dozen large, Big Soft Chewy Molasses-Oatmeal Cookies.

  Hannah’s 2nd Note: Lois told Grandma Knudson that these were her dad’s favorite cookies. We can certainly see why!

  Hannah’s 3rd Note: My great-grandmother, Elsa Swensen, had a trick for keeping cookies like this soft and chewy. She put some orange or lemon pe
el in the bottom of her cookie jar. The moisture in the citrus peel kept the cookies soft and any slight orange or lemon flavor the cookies absorbed was all to the good! When citrus fruit wasn’t in season in Minnesota, she used a chunk of apple to keep the cookies moist.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Are you okay?” Norman asked when she opened her condo door at seven that night.

  “I think so.” Hannah thought about his comment for a moment. “Don’t I look okay?”

  “You look great! You know I love to see you wear that outfit.”

  Hannah smiled, but she declined to do the little pirouette that was called for by his compliment. Her heart was too heavy for that. “I love this skirt and sweater set,” she said. “I wore it because I needed …”

  “What?” Norman asked when her voice trailed off.

  “I guess I needed a little cheering up.”

  “Then that’s exactly what I’ll do,” Norman promised. “Let me get your coat and we’ll go. I know what happened this afternoon, Hannah, so we can talk over dinner and sort things out.”

  It wasn’t exactly a miracle, but it felt like one to Hannah as she thrust her arms into the dress coat Norman held for her, watched him toss Moishe several fish-shaped kitty treats to keep him busy while they were gone, and escorted her out the door. One thing about Norman—he always seemed to know what she needed. And this time the gorgeous-enough-to-be-a-model Doctor Bev didn’t enter into the equation. Norman was here, and Hannah planned to keep him with her for a good, long while. Doctor Bev was home alone. She had to be. Mike was tied up with Reverend Matthew’s murder, so Doctor Bev would just have to cool her heels.