Shattered Edge
Page 21
He was messing with his music, taking his ear buds out when he finally noticed me.
“Oh hi. Sorry, I didn’t see you sitting there. Is there something I can help you with?” He flashed me an uneasy smile.
I swallowed the thickness in my throat and bobbed my head a minute. I squeezed my eyes shut forcing back the tears and praying for Divine intervention because I knew I was going to need it.
“Yeah. As a matter of fact there is,” I said as I rose to my feet and walked up to him. “Well, that’s not exactly true. I’m the one who has come here to help you with something.”
He looked at me oddly and asked, “Do I know you?”
I blew out my breath and said very quietly almost whispering, “Yes. Or rather you did.”
“I’m sorry then. You have me at a disadvantage. Your name is?”
I cleared my throat. “It’s Caroline. Caroline Cole.”
“Forgive me. I don’t remember meeting you.” But he narrowed his eyes and cocked his head, as if he were trying to remember me.
“You once knew me as someone else.” I dropped my head and whispered, almost as quiet as the breeze, “You once knew me as Terri.” Then I lifted my eyes to his.
The iPod slipped out of his fingers and crashed to the brick driveway. He stared at me. Then his eyes darkened with anger and he asked in a voice laced with steel, “How dare you come on to my property and say such things? I don’t know who you are or what your game is, but get the hell out of here.”
I was prepared for this. I pulled the necklace from beneath my tank top out and slipped it over my head.
Tears were raining down my cheeks when I spoke the words, “There are so many things I need to say to you and I know what you’re thinking, but please hear me out.” My voice was soft so he had to strain to hear. I let the necklace dangle from my hand. He saw the engagement ring and the stone from the necklace he’d given me for Christmas.
“Where did you get those?” he asked, his eyes widened in shock.
“You gave me this ring at sunrise on Valentine’s Day at Amanyara when you asked me to marry you. You told me that I put the beat into your heart and the spirit into your soul. You gave me the necklace for Christmas right over there,” I said as I pointed to the upper piazza. I had to pause for a moment because I was nearing my breaking point. I bit down on my lower lip, but I dared not look at him for I knew I would certainly lose it. Then I continued in a soft whisper, “I didn’t die but they had to make it look like I did. My brother was an undercover agent and was working inside that huge drug cartel that was busted up a few months back. They told him he had to kill me and my mom. They faked our deaths but you couldn’t know about it because they would’ve killed you too.” I lifted the hem of my shirt to wipe my face. I was stupid and forgot about bringing any Kleenex.
I took a deep breath and blew it out. “I came here to tell you the truth. They didn’t want me to, but I felt since the cartel was busted, the worst was over. I can’t stay. Terri is dead. No one can ever know I was here. My life in Charleston is truly over. I’m a girl without a home. But Justin, you were so wrong about me,” my voice caught and I had to stop again. I wiped my eyes again with the heel of my hand. “I wasn’t strong at all. I was weak...so very weak. I broke...shattered really...into tiny fragments when they told me what I had to do and how you couldn’t know the truth.” I paused again, trying to collect myself. I needed to pull it together here. The pain in my heart was nearly overwhelming so I put my hand on my chest and clenched the top of my tank top, as if that would somehow ease it. I took I another deep, cleansing breath and continued. “I ended up in a mental hospital. This whole thing nearly destroyed me. You will...” I had to stop to breathe. The tears were rushing down my face now, dripping off my chin onto my shirt. My head was bent because it wasn’t possible for me to look at his beautiful face right now. “I love you...I will always love you and you will always be in my heart. I came here today to bring you these. I wanted you to have them because that girl, Terri, doesn’t exist anymore.” I took his hand and put the necklace with the ring and pendant in it and then I folded his fingers around it. “I’m so very sorry. For all the pain I’ve caused and for ruining your life.”
I started to make my way toward the sidewalk when his voice stopped me.
“Why do you look so different? What happened to your scars?”
I walked back to him and whispered, “Would you mind if we stepped inside?” I wiped my face again with the hem of my shirt.
He just stared at me.
“Please? I’m still not sure if it’s totally safe talking about this out here in the open.” He didn’t say anything. “Maybe in your car then?” I pinched my lower lip between my index finger and my thumb. And then I looked around, just to make certain no one was around us.
He just kept staring. Well, he wasn’t going to make this easy.
I walked closer to him and stood on my tiptoes. Leaning in, I whispered, “They did plastic surgery on me when they changed my identity. They wanted to make a lot of other changes but I wouldn’t allow all of them.”
I turned to leave again and about the time I made it to the sidewalk, he asked me, “Why now?”
I went back to him and pleaded, “Look, I know you don’t believe me, but I’m putting us both at risk out here. Please, can we go inside or better yet, let’s go up to your office and get on your computer and I’ll show you some stuff that might explain things.”
“How do you know my office is upstairs?”
I grabbed his hand and tugged him up the steps. Then I moved the large pot under which he’d hidden a key. I picked it up and unlocked the door and disarmed his security system.
I relocked and reset the alarm and pulled him into the kitchen. “You need to stop hiding a key out there. It’s dangerous. I’m sorry to be such a bully, but I don’t want you to get shot and killed. Me, I don’t give a flying fuck about. But I haven’t gone through goddamn hell for eighteen months because of you, just to come back here and see your ass get shot.”
“What do you mean, ‘because of you?’”
“They told me they would kill you Justin. I didn’t care if they killed me. You, on the other hand, were an entirely different matter.”
“So tell me the whole story.”
I did. Twice. I’m not sure when it started to sink in, but it did. He was angry at Preston for getting everyone involved in this mess.
“He couldn’t help it. He never planned on it.”
“Terri, he...”
I stopped him. “Justin, stop it right now!” I yelled.
“What!”
I got up in his face and put my hand on his chest. “You can’t EVER call me Terri again. Not when we’re alone. Not when we’re in a crowd. Not even if we’re in the middle of nowhere. You don’t understand these cartels and how they operate. They’re horrific...your worst nightmares. Promise me now. I’m Caroline. Pearce can’t know. Lexi can’t know. No one Justin. I mean no one. Are we clear?”
“Yeah,” he said, wiping his face.
“Look, I should probably be going now.” I was suddenly exhausted.
“Where will you go?”
“I’m not sure. I’ll get a motel room up on the interstate somewhere.”
“Stay here.”
As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t.
“Justin, to what end? I have to leave here. I can’t stay. It can be a life or death thing. I’ve already gone through one identity change. I don’t want to have to go through another. It’s awful because you lose yourself, your whole purpose in life. I lost you once and I nearly died of a broken heart. I know I couldn’t survive it a second time.”
“I was thinking about leaving Charleston too. Maybe going out west somewhere. I don’t have a destination in mind. I just want you to stay with me tonight. And then when the morning comes, if we decide that it’s not the right thing, well then you can go your way.”
I looked at him and gave him a half assed smile
. “When have we ever not been the right thing?”
CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
Justin
My mind was reeling with everything she was telling me. At first I thought she was some bullshitting opportunist. She had the facts right, but her appearance was off. There was that something about her though...the sound of her voice, her mannerisms, the way she held her head. Whoever had altered her identity, hadn’t coached her on these things. That’s why I believed her...not because of what she said.
In the beginning, I was numb. Then I held everything in check because all I wanted to do was to grab her into my arms and hold her next to my heart. It was the first time my chest didn’t hurt in eighteen months. Now I had to convince her that we needed to be together. I wanted to strangle her brother. She defended him. I couldn’t. He had put her at risk and had all but destroyed her in his quest to bring down that fucking cartel. I didn’t give a goddamn about that cartel. I only cared about her. The thought of her coming apart in that mental hospital. Shit...she went through ECT for Christ’s sake. Fuck.
“Caroline...I like that name.”
She looked at me in that way only she could. I saw her throat working as she swallowed.
“Please. One night. It’s all I’ll ask. Then we can decide together.” I watched her eyes as they sparked with hope and then flattened out again. I couldn’t lose her a second time. I just couldn’t. “Please Caroline. I’ll beg if I have to,” I whispered. I was standing right in front of her and I wasn’t going to touch her but I caught a whiff of her scent...that familiar lavender fragrance that I loved so much. My hand reached out and cupped her cheek and before I knew it, my lips were tasting hers. I groaned into her mouth and slid my other arm around her. She was so small now, I thought to myself, as I pulled her into my body. Her arms went around my waist and hugged me back tightly. I didn’t want the kiss to end, but I wanted her commitment to stay the night.
“Please, Caroline, stay the night. Say you will.”
“Yes, I will.”
Her arms curled around my neck and slid into my hair. “I’ve dreamed about this constantly Justin.”
“Don’t cry sweetheart. Please don’t cry.” I wrapped her in my embrace and lifted her up. Those legs of hers found their way around my waist and I walked us to my bedroom. I had to get into the shower because I was sweaty from my run. Besides, I wanted us both to be cleansed of our memories from the last eighteen months. As I moved past the bed, her voice stopped me.
“Where are you going?”
“To the shower. I just came back from running.”
“Put me down Justin. I like sweaty, remember?”
I let her slide down my body and she had that deep sexy look in her eyes. She grabbed my face and started kissing me again. I stopped her and stepped back for a second as I took off my shirt and shorts. She rewarded me with a smile. Then I moved to her and slowly peeled off her shorts and panties. Next, I lifted the hem of her tank top. She obligingly raised her arms and I pulled her top off, but I didn’t take it off all the way. Instead, I trapped her hands in it, moved it behind her back and left it as such. Then I grabbed the back of her now shorter hair and pulled it down, not hard, but not too gently either, forcing her back to arch, giving me free access to her lovely breasts. I bent my head and teased her nipples with my tongue alternating between the two, listening to her moans. I clamped my mouth down on one, sucking hard, using my teeth and then flicking my tongue across it until she was begging me for more. I repeated the same thing on her other nipple and then I moved down to her ribs, teasing, biting and sucking my way until I hit the apex of her thighs. I placed my hand on her stomach and gently pushed her backwards until the backs of her knees hit the bed. Once there, she sat down and I settled myself between her thighs as I spread her legs. I lowered my head to begin my sweet torture on her inner thighs when something caught my eyes. It was a string of symbols right at the juncture where her leg joined her torso. I looked on the other side, and I spied symbols there as well. They were tattooed into her tender flesh in black, like dark inky brands.
I looked at her with a question in my eyes.
She cleared her throat once, then twice, then she pointed to her left leg and whispered, “They’re Japanese symbols. This one means, ‘My heart, my soul,’ and this side,” now she pointed to the other leg, “says, ‘forever yours Justin.’”
I inhaled and swallowed through the thickness that had formed in my throat. I took my hands and wrapped them both around her thighs and I rubbed those symbols gently with my thumbs as I loved her with my eyes. Then I dipped my head and traced them with my tongue. I moved my mouth down the inside of her thighs, nibbling and sucking, because I knew exactly how sensitive she is here.
By now she was calling my name so I sat back on my heels and watched her face as I touched her sex. “Sweet God, you’re so wet for me Caroline.” I was sure she thought I was going to screw up and call her something else, but I wanted this to be perfect. I slid one, then two fingers inside of her. She was watching me with half closed lids and moaning. Her lower lip was between her teeth and I knew...I could tell she was almost to the point of orgasm. I wanted to drag this one out for as long as I could. So, I pulled my fingers out of her and kissed her lips, pulling that lower one into my mouth and sucking on it. Then I put my fingers in her mouth and said, “This is what I’ve been missing for eighteen months. God, I’ve missed you so much.” I watched as her eyes widened. I lowered my head again to her sex and ran my tongue up and down her and listened to those sweet sexy sounds she made. The muscles in her legs began to clench, so I stopped again and sat back to look at her face. Her head was thrown back, but she opened her eyes to see what was happening. I just smiled, right before I put my fingers on her again and heard her gasp as I slid them into her.
“Oh God Justin. I want to touch you,” she cried out. She couldn’t though, because her hands were still trapped in her tank top behind her back.
“Not yet baby.” I took my thumb and pressed on her little nub and she sucked in her breath. I felt her muscles clench so I stopped.
“Ah, you’re teasing me so,” she protested.
“I know. I want this one to be memorable.
“They’re all memorable with you!” she insisted.
Oh, but not like this one honey. I bent my head and blew across her wetness and she sighed. “You’re so beautiful down here Caroline.” I licked her again and then blew. Lick, then blew. Then I circled my tongue around her tiny nub, faster, then slowly. Next, I slid my fingers back into her. She was writhing now and I could feel her almost start to come. I stopped.
“No!” she cried.
I leaned across her and kissed her.
“Oh yes, sweetheart. Just wait. I promise it’ll be so worth it.”
Now was the time, she was so aroused. I looked at her nipples and they were so erect. Her body was flushed, she was panting and her sex was swollen. I bent my head to her and ran my tongue along her once, twice and then I leaned back and used my hand. I placed the pad of my thumb on her most sensitive spot, put my fingers inside of her and began to move to a rhythm and she started screaming my name, climaxing...and climaxing. It was epic. Her thighs clamped around my hand and I had never seen anything like it. When her spasms finally passed, she was breathless and so was I from just witnessing this thing of beauty.
She was limp. I smiled because my mission was accomplished. Well, half of it anyway. I wanted her to leave here in the morning with her body and mind humming with sexual energy. I let her lay there for a few minutes, but not too long.
Then I pulled her up to a sitting position and finished removing her tank top. Her hands were on me like lightening. My face, my lips, my neck, my chest, my abs, my hips and then she stopped and just stared at me. She didn’t have to say a word. Her eyes spoke a thousand of them all at one time. My heart clenched as she stared at me.
The water dropped over the edges of her lids then, and I watched it tumble down the curves of her c
heeks. It splashed onto her chest and I dipped my head to kiss it away.
“No more tears baby.”
Her hand reached down between us and she took my length into it as I groaned.
“I want to feel you inside of me Justin. I want you to make love to me. Now.”
I spun around and sat on the edge of the bed. I pulled her into my lap, letting her straddle me. She guided me into her opening and I held her face as she slowly took all of me inside of her.
“Ah honey, you’re so tight and wet.”
“I need to go slow Justin. I’m...um...I’m not used to this. It’s been so long.”
I groaned and said, “Oh baby, neither am I. I haven’t been with anyone since you.” Then I kissed her as she slowly moved up and down on me.
“Oh God, you’re so beautiful. I need to feel your arms around me baby.” She held me closely. And then I spoke the words out loud. “It’s all the same Caroline. You may have a different name and you may look a little different, but it’s all the same. The way you smell, they way you taste, the sounds you make, the way you feel inside, the way you move, the way you love me. It’s all the same. God I’ve missed you.” And I kissed her as we both came.
When it was over, we just sat together, locked in each other’s arms, unwilling to move. I was the one who broke first.
“I thought this might be difficult or even awkward, but it isn’t. Hmm, Caroline. I like the way it feels on my tongue. Of course, I’ve always loved the way you feel on my tongue. The new you is perfect. Just like the old was. I love you Caroline. I don’t want you to go. I know you can’t stay here, but here’s the thing. I don’t want to stay here either. This girl I knew named Terri died, and when she did, so did I. So I was putting into motion a plan to move out of Charleston. I was thinking about Seattle or somewhere out west...maybe Denver. My mind is open right now. I’ve talked to my family and they don’t like it, but they understand. I haven’t been myself for eighteen months. I won’t ever be again here. So what do you say? You up for a move?”