Peacetime

by Robert Edric

  He looked for her the next day, but she did not come to the tower. Following a morning working alone and undisturbed, he left to inspect work close by the Old Light. There were no labourers at the site, but upon his arrival there he saw Jacob and Mathias together in the dunes, Mathias helping Jacob down to the firmer land below. Jacob stumbled frequently on the loose slope, and each time this happened, Mathias helped him back to his feet. It surprised Mercer, following Mathias’s recent reception among the workers, to see them so close to where these others still worked.

  Mathias saw him watching them and pointed him out to Jacob. The two men did not divert their course towards him, but continued to the beach, where they finally sat together, lost to view, at the foot of the dunes.

  Mercer went to them.

  Mathias rose and stood between the dune path and where Jacob remained on the ground. Mercer descended with the sun behind him, and it was not until he was below the high skyline that Mathias was finally able to identify him.

  ‘It’s Mercer,’ Mathias called to Jacob, whose head appeared above a stand of marram grass. He was wiping his eyes with a cloth and still brushing the sand from his clothes.

  ‘We thought you might have been someone else from the site,’ Mathias said as Mercer reached him. ‘We’ve been here before. No one comes and no one can see.’

  Mercer indicated the two small boats on the calm sea. ‘Except them,’ he said.

  ‘What do they care? They’ll think we’re two of your men hiding from you.’

  Mercer went to Jacob and crouched beside him. The man looked unwell. His face was pale and his brow and cheeks coated with the sweat of his recent exertions.

  ‘He insisted on coming,’ Mathias said in explanation. ‘And now he’s exhausted.’

  Jacob tried to say something, but was defeated by his breathlessness.

  ‘See,’ Mathias said. ‘The man’s an idiot.’

  Mercer said nothing, unwilling to concur with this friendly but pointed criticism while Jacob was unable to speak for himself.

  Mathias climbed halfway up the path and peered over the rim of the dunes. He was searching to ensure that Mercer had not been followed, but he denied this when Mercer suggested it.

  ‘I wouldn’t blame you,’ Mercer told him. ‘They’re unshakeable in their prejudices.’

  ‘I’m not concerned for myself,’ Mathias said, flicking his eyes to Jacob, who now sat folded over his raised knees. ‘We’ve encountered them together before. They’ve lived too long with an enemy to do without one now.’

  ‘The idea of an enemy in most cases.’

  ‘Whatever,’ Mathias said. ‘And supposing I and my fellow countrymen were the only Germans they had seen, how do you imagine that would improve the situation?’ The question required no answer.

  The two men settled themselves in the sand and grass beside Jacob. Mathias took a flask from his knapsack and gave it to Jacob, who took it and fumbled with the stiff cap, unable to open it.

  ‘I always put it on too tight,’ Mathias said, taking the flask back and easily loosening the cap. Jacob splashed water over his face and neck, letting it run beneath his shirt.

  ‘Why did you come so far?’ Mercer asked them.

  ‘Into hostile territory, you mean? We didn’t intend to. He wanted to see the sea. There’s no work on the airfield because of the bombs and I—’

  ‘Bombs?’

  ‘The bombs we found. I thought you would have known by now. Everybody who lives here was told. All your workers know. Did no one mention them?’

  ‘Unexploded, presumably.’

  ‘How else would you see them?’ Jacob said, and even those few words seemed too much for him.

  ‘Still packed in their crates,’ Mathias said. ‘They were in an underground store at one of the loading bays. It seems someone locked the door and just forgot about them. We came along, and for the past six months we’ve been piling broken concrete over them. One of the contractors was taking this away. They broke open the door and there they were. There’s been no work there since. Happily, the underground store was deemed to be too close to our own equipment stores for us to continue. Someone from Disposal is coming to take a closer look at them.’

  ‘And meanwhile …’

  ‘And meanwhile we all enjoy a few days’ break. They were warned to keep the children off the airfield. They were there within minutes of the things being found.’

  ‘Will the Army detonate them?’ Mercer asked him.

  ‘Who knows? Who cares?’

  Jacob made the shape of an explosion with both hands, throwing up sand which settled over his legs.

  ‘Perhaps if I’d been digging there myself,’ Mathias said. ‘Perhaps if I’d set them off under me – save everyone a lot of trouble and wasted time, eh?’

  ‘Was it a possibility?’ Mercer asked him.

  Mathias shrugged. ‘Perhaps. I doubt if any of them have had their fuses set.’ He brushed the sand from his own legs, and for a moment, or so Mercer imagined, he was reminded of the death of his parents.

  Jacob, too, understood the connection that had been so suddenly and so unavoidably made, and he flattened his hands and worked them into the sand at his sides. ‘Sorry,’ he said.

  ‘Forget it,’ Mathias told him.

  After that, they sat together in silence, watching the distant figures on the two boats. Remembering all Lynch had told him the previous day, Mercer wondered now which of the men were involved, and what it was they were waiting for. There was no indication of a net, no floats or buoys in the sea around the boats.

  ‘Are they fishing?’ Mathias said eventually.

  ‘I expect so,’ Mercer said, unwilling to speculate further on all Lynch had half-suggested.

  ‘Waiting for someone or something, more like,’ Jacob said. He lay back and rested his head in the sand. He wheezed with every breath he took. Neither Mercer nor Mathias commented on this. Gulls circled high above them; other birds rode the sea around the boats.

  ‘Did your bowl come out unbroken?’ Mercer eventually said to Jacob.

  Jacob shook his head. ‘Cracked as it cooled. I don’t know who was the more disappointed – Bail or myself.’

  ‘I think he appreciates—’ Mercer began, before Jacob raised a hand to stop him speaking.

  ‘Whatever he appreciates, I appreciate more the fact that he only fires up his forge to allow me to continue, however misguided or deluded he considers me to be.’

  ‘I don’t believe he thinks either of those things,’ Mercer said.

  ‘Whatever. We both go through the motions, Bail and I.’

  ‘Not for much longer,’ Mathias said.

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘Some local businessmen have submitted a plan – submitted it almost a year ago – to buy the land and build a sugar-beet refinery. The bank is keen to see it happen.’

  ‘He’s been forced into a corner,’ Jacob said. ‘All bow down to the money-men.’ He started coughing at the effort of having said so much.

  ‘And if Bail goes, then he goes,’ Mathias said quietly to Mercer.

  ‘I know.’

  ‘He needs to be in hospital,’ Mathias added loudly, intending Jacob to hear him repeat something he had said a hundred times before. ‘A proper hospital with proper treatment and care.’ He turned back to Mercer. ‘Wait until you’ve spent a winter in this place. The winds are from the Arctic and the snow from Russia. You’ll see.’

  ‘Not me,’ Mercer said, but the man did not hear him.

  ‘But, oh no, he knows best, of course. He’s a survivor; they all are. What is wind and snow to a Jew?’

  As before, Mercer considered the remarks harsh and unwarranted, but he understood Mathias’s purpose in making them.

  Sweat continued to bead on Jacob’s brow and cheeks. Mathias took out his clean handkerchief and wiped this away. This caused Jacob some pain and he gave an involuntary gasp, baring his teeth.

  ‘The girl’s father finally came home,’ Mercer said. />
  ‘We heard. We also heard that he wasn’t just imprisoned for going absent, but that he almost killed a man, a new recruit, someone he’d tricked into a rigged game of cards, and who couldn’t pay what he owed straight away. He was beaten and kicked half to death. When the man was arrested, apparently, they still weren’t certain if the boy would recover.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ Mercer said, but knew as he spoke that there must have been more to Lynch’s sentencing than a simple matter of absenteeism.

  ‘All of the local men working on the airfield know about him and about what happened,’ Mathias said.

  ‘Is he in one of them?’ Jacob said, indicating the boats.

  ‘Probably,’ Mercer said.

  ‘I imagine you already know everything there is truly to know about him from his wife and daughter, eh?’ Mathias said.

  Mercer shrugged, uncertain what the remark was intended to reveal.

  ‘And you hope somehow to spare the girl’s feelings by not joining in our speculation about her worthless father,’ Jacob said.

  ‘Something like that,’ Mercer finally conceded.

  They remained in the dunes for a further hour. Mathias shared what little food he had brought with him. Mercer declined his offer, insisting he had his own supplies to draw on. Jacob took what he was given, but ate little. The cold meat and fruit attracted sand-flies, and Jacob in particular was constantly engaged in wiping them from his lips and chin. Eventually, the insects became unbearable and Mathias buried what remained of their uneaten meal and poured water onto a cloth for Jacob to wipe his face. Even then the flies congregated on the sand where the food was buried.

  24

  Later, when the time came for Mathias to return to the airfield, it was clear both to him and to Mercer that Jacob was in no condition to make the journey back to Bail’s. Jacob had been sitting in the sun for over two hours, and still every small exertion seemed to exhaust him. Mercer and Mathias walked together to the water’s edge to consider what to do.

  Jacob, knowing what they were discussing, and accepting that he was now incapable of walking back to town, said nothing.

  ‘He can come back to the tower with me,’ Mercer said, knowing no other course remained open to them.

  ‘You’ll wait until the others have gone before taking him there?’ Mathias said. The drills and hammers could still be heard in the distance.

  ‘I need to go back myself, now,’ Mercer said. He looked at his watch. It was almost four. A further hour would pass before the others left.

  ‘Will you return for him?’ Mathias asked, increasingly anxious about his own need to leave.

  ‘Of course. Will he be all right here by himself?’

  ‘It’s how he spends most of his time. Alone. Waiting. Dependent on the kindness and allowances of others. He lives among strangers. Whatever we might like or choose to believe, that is what we are to him.’

  It struck Mercer as a strange thing to say, especially considering Mathias’s undeniable affection for the man.

  ‘Will that change, do you think?’

  Mathias looked at him as though he had completely misunderstood his previous remark. ‘Perhaps,’ he said, but with no conviction. He, too, looked at his watch.

  They returned to Jacob, who appeared to have fallen asleep during their absence, but who opened his eyes at their approach.

  Mathias told him what they had decided, and Jacob acquiesced in this by closing his eyes again.

  Mercer had anticipated that he might complain, but he did not.

  ‘I should have listened to the wise German and stayed at home,’ Jacob said.

  Mathias crouched beside him and spoke to him.

  Mercer heard little of what he said, but imagined he was reassuring Jacob about what was happening. Even though there was no work on the airfield, Mathias explained, a check would be made on the prisoners at their camp in the town. He dare not be absent at any such roll-call for fear of jeopardizing his application to stay.

  Watching the two of them together, Mercer saw again the true nature of the responsibility carried by one man for the other, and saw, too, the fine and shifting line between that responsibility and the dependence it created and sustained. He saw how carefully Mathias explained everything, how the few hours of the immediate future were so precisely and reassuringly plotted. There were times, then and later, when this understanding between the German and the Dutchman was perfectly balanced and accepted by them both, and when it needed nothing but the silence between them to make itself clear.

  Mercer stood back until Mathias had finished, after which Mathias gathered together his belongings and ran up the dunes in the direction of the airfield. The comparison between the two men – one so debilitated, the other so full of vigour – could not have been more marked.

  Alone with Jacob, Mercer explained again what he himself now needed to do.

  ‘Just go,’ Jacob told him, aware of Mercer’s concern at leaving him alone. ‘What harm can come to me here?’

  ‘The tide might come in and drown you,’ Mercer said, both of them aware that, were it not already ebbing, the water would not come within fifty yards of where Jacob lay.

  ‘Or I might be swallowed up by an earthquake. Just go. I promise you, I shall be here when you get back. You already explain yourself too often to Mathias.’ He closed his eyes again to preclude any further discussion. The sun was no longer directly above him, though the sand remained warm in the shelter of the slope.

  Mercer left him, following a different path from the one taken by Mathias.

  As he approached the site, hoping to avoid those few men to whom he might now have to explain his absence, Mary stepped onto the road ahead of him. She walked in the same direction and did not see him behind her. He resisted the urge to call out to her. His first encounter with Lynch remained fresh in his mind, and he hoped now to avoid the man until he was able to speak to her alone about what had happened. It occurred to him that the two of them might have again been together, and that Lynch was nearby and watching. He thought of Jacob in the dunes and let her draw further away from him, until she finally crossed the road and was lost to sight.

  He arrived at the tower, collected several of his charts and went in search of the men he needed to see. One of these, a foreman, told him that the girl had been looking for him and that he’d sent her away and told her not to come back. Apparently, she had a message for him from her father, but this, the man suggested, was probably just something she’d made up to account for her presence there.

  Probably, Mercer agreed. He asked about the recently discovered bombs on the airfield and the man told him all he knew, which was no more than he had already learned from Mathias. The man said they had enough to worry about with their own work to get too concerned about what happened at the airfield. Again, Mercer avoided all further conversation by agreeing with him.

  Waiting a further hour, until the last of the lorries had gone, he went back to the dunes, taking with him a blanket and a bottle of water.

  He was crossing beside the abandoned Light when he again saw Mary. She called to him. He waved and called back to her that he was too busy to stop. He searched all around her for Lynch, but saw no one.

  ‘I’ve been looking for you,’ she called.

  He cupped his ear as though he could not hear or understand her.

  ‘Earlier. I was looking for you.’

  ‘Tomorrow,’ he called back.

  She did nothing to hide her disappointment at this response. He pointed away from her, hoping to suggest some urgency, and then resumed walking.

  Leaving her behind, he came to where the two small boats he had earlier seen out at sea were now moored in the channel beside the Light. There was little water in this and the boats lay on a bed of shining mud. A simple jetty joined the vessels to the channel’s steep bank. There was no sign of the men.

  He turned from the open land into the dunes. Mary was no longer visible behind him. Whatever he said to her n
ow, he realized, whatever he confided in her, would find some cold echo in her father.

  Reaching Jacob, he found him asleep. It had grown cooler on the shaded slope, and he unfolded the blanket and laid it over the sleeping man’s legs. Jacob woke immediately, uncertain at first where he was or what was happening to him.

  ‘It’s me,’ Mercer said to him. ‘Mercer.’

  ‘What?’ Jacob struggled to sit up and to look around him.

  ‘Me, Mercer. We were here with Mathias. He had to leave. You’re coming back to the tower with me.’

  Jacob shook his head and looked down at the lines of sand which had formed against his legs and sides. ‘I was dreaming,’ he said. He raised his arms to allow Mercer to continue wrapping the blanket around him.

  ‘Are you cold?’ Mercer asked him.

  He nodded.

  Mercer pushed the blanket tighter around his legs.

  ‘Thank you,’ Jacob said. He reached out and held Mercer’s arm for a moment.

  ‘The site’s empty,’ Mercer said.

  ‘Still, will it not inconvenience you to have me so close?’

  ‘Not at all. I’ll be glad of the company.’

  ‘I doubt that. I sleep very easily. Not well, but easily.’

  ‘Can you stand?’

  ‘I imagine so.’ Jacob pushed himself upright. ‘How long have they been gone?’

  ‘Long enough. Besides, it’s none of their business.’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘I mean it. They probably resent my own presence more than they resent yours. They expected something better than this, that’s all. I actually heard those who had seen active service wondering what it was they’d been fighting for.’

  ‘Whatever it was, they were not fighting for people like me.’

  ‘I doubt any of them had the slightest idea what was happening.’

  ‘Few still do,’ Jacob said. ‘And most will continue to deny it.’

  ‘Deny it?’

  ‘Of course. To many, it is a source of great shame. Believe me, there was nothing noble or heroic in our – in my – suffering or survival.’

  ‘But denial?’

  Jacob remained silent for several minutes, then said, ‘You have a great deal in common with Mathias, and for that small mercy I am grateful.’