It's A Shame

by Hansen, C. E.

Karen walked into the office. I looked up, panicked for a second, but didn’t bother to try to hide them.

  “Here you go boss lady,” she said as she handed me a much-needed cup of coffee. I took one sip and closed my eyes and moaned in ecstasy.

  “Mmm, that’s good coffee…Terry’s?” I asked already knowing the answer.

  “Yup… nothing but the best for you.” She smirked then let out a laugh.

  She stood over my desk looking down at the pictures I’d laid out.

  “What…is that crazy SOB bothering you again?” she looked directly at me, her mouth was hanging open, and I could see she was shocked and getting angry. “If he is, you should tell the police and get his sorry ass arrested again.”

  I grabbed up the pictures as if my life depended on it…it did actually.

  “You know this man? Karen, you know him?”

  “Looks like the crazy bastard who harassed you, remember?”

  “No, when, when did he harass me?”

  “Right after the whole Jonathan-Golden Hair shit show. You really don’t remember?”

  “If I did would I be asking you?” I immediately regretted my tone of voice. “I’m so sorry Karen, I apologize…I’m just really stressed. I’m sorry I took it out on you.”

  “No worries.” She stood there staring at me expecting me to have a full meltdown. “He’s the guy who grabbed you…remember… the guy who grabbed your arm when you were trying to get in the car outside. The really strange looking one.”

  I lifted the image closer to my eyes, under the light. “I seem to be a magnet for psychopaths,” I answered, as I looked at the picture closely, frustrated with myself for not remembering.

  “At least that’s who he looks like anyway,” she glanced quickly at the pictures. “Remember him now? Cole went ballistic on his ass. After he grabbed you Cole dove on him. His guys had to pull him off. Come to think of it, from what I remember one of his guys grabbed you and threw you into the back of the car.” She looked at me as though I were senile. “You seriously don’t remember?”

  I didn’t remember and I did. I remembered a scuffle, but there were so many scuffles during that time of my life, one just blended into the next. Between the news people, the onlookers, the maniacs and bystanders, everything was a blur. I did, however, remember Cole getting into the back of the car with his face red and his knuckles bloodied. When I asked him what happened, he told me he pushed a few reporters out of the way and he thinks he hit the guy who tried to grab me. Like I said, that time was total chaos, and I don’ remember any one particular incident.

  “Come to think of it, I think, I think I actually saw him recently…” she trailed off. “It was odd, like it didn’t make sense…weird.” She shrugged her shoulders.

  “Where Karen…think.” I pleaded. I could feel the adrenaline building inside; my heart was racing.

  “Shit….shit. Oh yeah,” she said matter of factly, “I saw him the day I went to bring you the checks to sign…or I thought I saw him.” She rubbed her forehead. “If I’m not mistaken, I think I saw him in your building.” She literally scratched her head. “But that would be weird huh?” She looked at the ceiling then back at me, “I mean, from what I remember, there was a restraining order or something like that.”

  A soft moan and sudden intake of air escaped me as my body reacted to what Karen said.

  “My building.” My senses shifted to hyper alert. “My building?”

  “Yeah, I think that was where I saw him…” she took another sip of her iced coffee. “I could be wrong, but I think that’s where it was. Figured he must’ve straightened his ass out.”

  “WHO KAREN? Who?” I tried like hell to keep the crazy out of my voice, to no avail.

  “He had a uniform on…” She looked at me, obviously terrified. More of me than the man I was asking her about.

  “A uniform…like delivery man?” I was grasping at straws now.

  “No…no wasn’t a delivery guy…” she had me on pins and needles. I clasped my hand over my mouth to literally hold back the high-pitched scream that was dying to escape.

  “He had on a bellman’s uniform…without the hat.” She said decisively, very proud of herself.

  “Bellman…like a hotel?” I asked, trying to keep the hysteria at a minimum.

  “Yeah…like that.”

  “Thanks, Karen,” I said. “I’ve got to make some phone calls, close the door on your way out, please.”

  She looked relieved to be released from the intense interrogation I just put her through. I spilled my purse on the desk, it’s contents scattered on top of the pictures I so carefully laid out, and grabbed my cell.

  “Hey you!” I could tell by the sound of Michelle’s voice she was in a good mood.

  “Hey! Guess what the fuck I just found out? Never mind, you’ll never guess. Meet me at home.”

  “What the fuck?” Typical Michelle.

  “I need to talk to you…like in person…like now!” I was panicking.

  “Grace, I’m at work what’s wrong? You okay?” Michelle said in a low tone.

  “I’m fucking peachy, meet me at home, Shelle.”

  “Hello…Grace, I’m at work here.” Attitude!

  “Fuck that job. I’ll support you. Quit if you have to but meet me in my apartment, like now.” I killed the call.

  I was pacing in the hallway outside my apartment waiting for Michelle. I heard the elevator ring before the doors opened.

  “Come on…move it. Come on,” I yapped at her, I was very impatient and it showed.

  “Grace…seriously, this is insane…leave my job?” She took a breath. “You are losing it girl.”

  “Listen.”

  I told her about the entire exchange between Karen and me, leaving nothing out. I knew I got her when her mouth dropped open.

  “Close that trap before a fly lands and takes a sh…” Her eyes widened, the look on her face shut me right up. I smiled triumphantly, reciting a childhood taunt we shared. It was times like these that I really missed those days.

  She gave me an evil look as I dug in side my purse for my keys. I shoved the pictures in her hands and watched as her smile faded.

  I finally got the door opened and pulled her by her arm inside.

  “Holy shit.”

  “I agree.”

  “How the hell is he working? Never mind working… how the fuck is he working here?” Her voice was actually shaky. She sounded as scared as I was.

  “I don’t have a clue.”

  She seemed to be a little shell shocked at the revelation. Funny pun.

  “He could very well be the last person that saw her alive. I mean he obviously followed her from the lobby at the Asbury. But why? Why would he want to see her? Were they working together…against Cole?” I was so happy that we found a piece of the puzzle, a clue, and still so mystified at the same time.

  I opened the fridge and took out a water bottle and tossed one to Michelle.

  We decided we would have fill Dean in on what we found.

  Michelle was a little nervous knowing he’d find out about what we’ve been up to, but when weighed against Cole being arrested for a murder he most definitely didn’t do, we really had no choice. After he calmed down, after the redness on his face subsided a little, and the pacing slowed a tad, we showed him the pictures we got from the Asbury security office today.

  “Interesting,” he said as he shuffled the pictures in his hands.

  “Interesting…” I stood their staring at him, losing hold of my temper.

  “Well, until we can find something more concrete, this is just a weird coincidence.”

  “There is something seriously wrong with you,” I snapped.

  “Grace, calm down. A picture of a man you think you may, or may not, recognize was seen in a hotel lobby the same day Lauren Buckley was there.” He smiled his smarmy smile. “These pictures you got here,” he said, shaking the pictures in his hand, “are blown up so much… I can’t even make o
ut the guys face. They’re not the best quality.”

  I wanted to smack him.

  “He works here…as a doorman…packages…hello, any of this registering?” I had to calm down.

  “Coincidence.” He folded his arms across his chest, digging in. “Maybe he was visiting someone, maybe he had a relative staying at the Asbury.” He turned to look towards Michelle who was giving him the evil eye. “All the people that work in this building have been checked out, and were all cleared. So we know he’s not involved, in anyway, with the packages you both received.”

  I could feel my face redden.

  “Is it also a coincidence that he’s the same guy that let Lauren upstairs without announcing her?”

  A strange expression flashed across his face. It was only a second and then his attitude adjustment kicked in and he was back to being Dean.

  I was furious and about to let loose on him.

  “Time to go.” Michelle stood between us, pushing Dean towards the door.

  “Well, are you going to look into it, follow up, or do I have to ask for another detective?” I had as much attitude as he did, and I could give as much as I got.

  “I’ll look in to it. Don’t get your panties in a bunch!” he shouted over his shoulder.

  Michelle turned and looked at me before closing the door behind her.

  I knew that look. It was her ‘I’ve had enough’ look.

  The crazy son of a bitch that accosted me outside my shop right after Jonathan tried to kill me was now working as a doorman in this very building. Coincidence my ass! I was getting a very uneasy feeling. There was some sort of connection here and I was going to find out what it was.

  Chapter 21

  A few hours later Cole called and said that he was on his way home and would explain everything then. I was dying to tell him what we had found out.

  I waited patiently—okay, not so patiently—for my door to open and Cole to walk in. So when I heard the key in the lock, I stood abruptly causing the chair I’d been sitting on, to scrape loudly across the tiled floor.

  I was aching to hold him, have him hold me. I needed to feel safe. Somehow all the bad stopped when I was in his arms. I waited a second, then ten. Finally, I walked over to the door and yanked it open.

  Empty.

  There was no one there. I looked towards the elevator and back down the hall towards Michelle’s apartment…nothing, nada, zip. I was about to shut the door when out of the corner of my eye I spotted it, another neatly taped plain box. I jumped back inside my apartment and quickly locked the door behind me.

  Holy shit, this day just keeps getting better and better…

  I called Michelle’s cell and tentatively opened the door as she came running down the hall holding her phone to her ear, her face reddening. It was plain to see she was angry. I tried not to listen as she spoke to someone, but was one hundred percent sure she was talking to Dean…no one else could get a reaction from that girl like he could. But right now we both knew Dean and father time, were the enemy.

  Michelle had just run back to her apartment to turn her oven off and grab her shoes when I heard the elevator door open. Cole apparently arrived at the same time as the police, who were led by none other than Detectives Johansen and Verdi. I heard their voices in the hallway.

  I peered out the peephole and was able to make out Cole, who stood with his back to me, apparently talking to Dean and Detective Verdi. I was jumping up and down like a ten year old kid, hoping the anxiety I was feeling would somehow traverse the walls and MAKE him hurry up. When I finally saw him turn around and walk towards the door, I took a step back and began jumping up and down, like a little kid who had to go to the bathroom. I was trying very hard to contain my excitement.

  Cole took one look at me when he walked in, and without a second’s hesitation, pulling me into his arms. The feeling of those arms wrapped around me could make all the wrong in my life right, he comforted me in a way no one, or nothing else, could.

  “Hey baby, you okay?” he asked. He lowered his head and sunk his face into the crook of my neck. His nose nuzzled my neck and I heard him inhale deeply. “Holding you like this…” He inhaled again. “God, you feel so good, you’re home baby. Where ever you are is home.”

  “Cole…” I physically felt my body surrender to the stress, and I began shaking like I had the DT’s. The tears streamed freely down my face. He pulled me closer to him molding his body to mine. We fit together like a hand and glove. I could feel the warmth of his skin radiate out of him and into me, and like Vitamin D he restored me, charging my batteries.

  Putting off the inevitable I held him tightly, my arms everywhere, rubbing his shoulders, his neck. I couldn’t get enough of him. I raked my long nails down the length of his back.

  “Mmm…don’t stop.” He hugged me tighter.

  There was a knock on the door and without a moment’s hesitation it opened and Dean strolled in like he owned the place.

  “You guys mind staying put until we finish this investigation?”

  I turned to face him, hands on my hips glaring him down.

  “There was another finger…doesn’t appear to be the same woman though.” he said, almost apologetically.

  The thought that this crazy bastard had another girl just killed me.

  “How do you know this?” Cole asked.

  “Different size fingers, this one is smaller. Different polish.” He looked at the two of us and said, “and the fact that this one is also a pinkie taken from the right hand. Unless she had two, we are looking at another potential victim.”

  “Oh my God Dean, you have to find this girl. She must be so scared,” I whispered. I could feel the nausea building. “She doesn’t have much time…” my voiced faded, my mind going into the dark places I hoped to never revisit.

  “Why don’t you let me handle the speculating okay? I’m the detective after all.”

  I wanted to smack that smug look off his face.

  “Then go ‘detect’,” I charged turning my back to him. My frustration level was through the roof with this man.

  He started to walk out the door, but of course… had to have the last word. “Brooklyn homicide is working on the dead girl they found in Park Slope with the missing fingers. Told me their reports came back from coroner’s office, appears she died of a heart attack.” He said a little softer, “These guys are good cops, they already have a guy in custody, and the scumbag looks good for it. Two time sex offender, so have a drink, try to relax,” he said the last part looking directly at me.

  For once I was speechless.

  Relax, right…some fucked up guy is sending me some poor woman’s fingers for fun, and you say relax, make a cocktail…enjoy the evening. Easy to say when you have a nice big gun swinging from the side of your belt. Shit, I’d have a heart attack too if some insane son of a bitch was cutting my fucking fingers off. Holy hell.

  Chapter 22

  We lived each day as though we had minutes left together. Cole was constantly in meetings with his lawyers preparing his defense in the likely event he was formally charged with Lauren Buckley’s murder. He also had another attorney working on getting sole custody of his son Kyle.

  It was tense at home for a while when it looked like Lauren’s father was throwing his gloves into the ring, attempting to get custody of baby Kyle as well. My heart broke for the man, losing his only daughter the way he did. Sad, angry, needing retribution…but Kyle belonged with his father.

  It wasn’t long before we heard from Cole’s attorney. He advised Cole that he had taken care of all the loose ends. Explained to us that social services for the State of Colorado, City of Denver, were readying the paperwork to release Kyle over to Cole…to us.

  I busied myself with preparing the nursery. I put the furniture that was in the second bedroom into storage, all but one piece, a lovely gliding rocking chair. I thought it would fit perfectly with the décor. I was a neutral sage green plush chair with gliding footrest. Perfec
t for those long nights of holding a baby and rocking him to sleep.

  This was all just temporary until the work was completed at 412 2nd Avenue, and I had to busy myself with those thoughts rather than think about what was really happening in my insane, uncontrollable life.

  I had the painters come in and paint the room a soothing yellow. I wanted bright and cheery, the color of sunshine, and the new area rug I ordered was delivered this morning. Now all I was waiting for was the furniture I had bought.

  Cole and I went shopping and I picked out a gorgeous dark cherry four-poster crib with matching dresser, mirror and changing table. I also ordered a beautiful rocking horse, with an authentic leather saddle that I just couldn’t resist.

  I’d just finished hanging the last of the wall art I purchased when I stepped back to admire the beautiful, elegant, serene room. I turned and ran my hand across the top of the custom bedding which was stacked neatly on the rocking chair. Reveling in its softness, and smiled, as I walked out closing the door behind me.

  I was astounded by how much I was looking forward to Kyle’s arrival. In just a few days he’ll be here, in my arms. I was aching to hold him, love him and shower him with affection. I left the shop in Karen’s capable hands and took an extended family leave, planning on devoting myself to being a full time mother.

  There would be no nanny’s in this home, like I had. I wanted Kyle to know family—his father and me. I was looking forward to being a mother as much as if it were the birth of my own baby.

  Cole was keeping busy with work, but I saw how his eyes glowed every time he mentioned his son, and it made me love him even more. With the suspicion of Lauren’s murder looming over his head, I was happy he had a diversion.

  ‘Aunt’ Michelle, had already gone nuts shopping for the baby—toys, furnishings, handsome little outfits. She needed to be reigned in before she bought every toy from FAO Schwartz.

  I literally had to stop my mother. She’d gone on a shopping rampage buying enough for ten babies. She was given specific instructions to leave it all at her home; I simply didn’t have enough room.