Home Sweet Home

by Melanie Shawn

Irritation flashed in those green eyes he loved so much, and she defensively snapped, “I'm not scared.”

  Ben nodded, “Well, I am. But I'm more in love with you than I am scared. So I want a real relationship. I want to give it a shot.”

  He saw her skin blanch when he said that he was in love with her. Wow. The list of things in the 'probably not the best sign' column was growing longer by the minute.

  Lauren's face hardened. “Give what a shot?” she said tremulously, “This isn’t anything. We hooked up a few times, had some fun. That was all this was.”

  This drove him back a step, as if she had put her hands on his shoulders and physically pushed him backward.

  He couldn't believe what he was hearing her say. This couldn't be true.

  He said, “Really? Just a hook up, that’s what this was to you? The day in the hospital with my mom, and that night at my house. That was all just a hook up?”

  He saw something skitter across her face, but he couldn't nail down what it might be. When she stood up straighter and looked directly into his eyes, though, he had no problem identifying that expression. It was resolve.

  All hint of a tremor gone from her voice, she said firmly, “Yes.”

  Ben began to walk slowly but inexorably towards her until she was backed up against the wall of the café. He slowly raised both of his hands and rested them on the wall, one on either side of her face, and leaned in slowly until their lips were barely just an inch apart.

  He saw her pupils dilate as he said in a low voice, “I don’t know why you’re lying about what we are. But I do know that you sure as hell don’t believe it, any more than I believe what you are saying right now.

  “And here’s the thing: I don’t play games. This hot and cold thing you’ve had going on may work for you and the other men you’ve been with, but it does not work for me. I’m not some toy you can play with when we’re on location and then dismiss when we return to your real life.

  “I think I’m in love with you Lauren Harrison, and you may not be in love with me but I guarantee you that I am more than a hook up to you. Aren’t I?”

  Lauren didn’t answer right away. She just stared at him.

  He lowered his mouth so that their lips brushed each other as he spoke.

  “Tell me I am more than a hook up to you and that you want to see me again.”

  Her breathing was labored and he could feel the electricity rushing between them.

  She pushed on his chest weakly and said, tears filling her eyes, “It was fun, but it was just a hook up.”

  With that, she ducked out from between his arms and disappeared through the back door of Sue Ann’s café.

  Ben felt like he had just been sucker punched in the gut.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Lauren heard a knock at her front door and shouted, “Go away!” into her pillow. She knew it wasn't going to do any good. Her bedroom was far enough from the front door that she could have screamed it at the top of her lungs and the Jehovah's Witnesses or Avon Lady or Vacuum Cleaner Salesman or whoever it was at the door wouldn't hear her.

  Her face crumpled. Vacuum cleaner salesman! Ben used to be a vacuum cleaner salesman!

  She buried her face in her pillow, collapsing into a fresh torrent of tears, and sobbed quietly.

  The knock came again, more forcefully.

  “Leave me alone!” she wailed into the air, knowing full well that whoever was at the door had no idea she was saying it. It just felt good to say.

  A third knock followed on the heels of the first, this one bordering on pounding. God, who IS that, she thought angrily.

  She sat bolt upright.

  What if it was Ben?

  Oh, God.

  He couldn't see her like this.

  She had been awake all night long, sobbing for the better part of it. She could tell from the raw, itchy way that her eyeballs felt that they were bloodshot and red.

  She put her fingers to her face, exploring the skin around her eyes. Yep. Puffy, and almost certainly fire engine red, as well. Which, she knew herself well enough to know, meant that so was her nose.

  She continued the exploratory mission of her hands up to her hair. Oh, God. Ratted strands coming loose from a sloppy topknot, as she had feared.

  She looked down at her body. Again, her vague memory of what she had thrown on the night before was proved correct. Mismatched flannel pajama bottoms and tops, paired with – purely for the sake of emotional comfort – her ratty old terrycloth bathrobe and bunny slippers from high school.

  In short, she was a hot damn mess.

  Before she could wrestle her brain into coming up with a solution for this problem, she heard a key turn in the lock and the front door opening. What the...Ben didn't have a key.

  She heard the alarm code being disarmed. He also didn't know her code.

  So, it wasn't Ben.

  She knew she should feel relief, considering her appearance, but what she actually felt was soul-crushing disappointment.

  Helping her appearance not at all, this disappointment triggered a new bout of tears, which she buried her face back into her pillow and indulged.

  She heard someone step into her bedroom, but she couldn't summon up enough interest to even lift her head and see who it was.

  “What in the holy hell is this?” she heard a shocked exclamation.

  “Go away, Karina!” Lauren moaned through her tears.

  Lauren heard another set of footsteps coming in behind Karina, and then a shocked gasp.

  “Oh, my God, Lauren! What's the matter? Are you hurt?” Amanda cried, rushing across the room and jumping into bed with her, wrapping her arms around Lauren and stroking her hair.

  “Yeah, are you hurt?” Karina asked, “Like, did something injure your eyes before you got dressed for bed last night, for instance?”

  “Hush!” Amanda said indignantly, “Who cares what she's wearing? She's obviously in pain!”

  “I am! I'm in pain!” Lauren wailed, raising her head just in time to see Sam walk in, take in the scene, and walk right back out again.

  “I'm making the coffee,” she announced over her shoulder.

  “You might want to add a splash of bourbon,” Karina called after her down the hall, “Or maybe more than a splash. Maybe just make bourbon instead.”

  When Sam returned with a tray bearing coffee cups for all of them, she and Karina piled into Lauren's bed along with Lauren and Amanda, and Karina made Lauren sit up.

  “Come on, girl,” she said, “I know it feels like the end of the world, but no story seems as tragic when you tell it from a sitting position as when you tell it flat on your back.”

  She turned to Sam, “Write that down for when I have my advice column.”

  Sam just shook her head, but Lauren complied, rising to an upright position and leaning against her headboard.

  She took a deep breath to start relating the story. “I...” she began, and her face collapsed into tears again, and she continued, voice hitching, “I...broke...up...with...Ben...last...night...”

  “OK,” Karina said, “That makes sense then. Sue Ann told Ryan this morning that you left upset last night. I would have mustered the troops and gotten us here quicker, but Ryan – that dork – didn't think it was important enough to call me about the instant he heard it. He's SO not a girl!”

  Lauren nodded, wiping tears from her face. “I'm just glad you guys are here at all,” she said miserably.

  “So, what happened, sweetie?” Amanda asked gently.

  “He told me he loved me,” Lauren said, despair tinging her voice. The three girls looked at her blankly.

  Finally Sam said, “Context tells me this isn't good news? But I'm confused, because it sounds like good news...so...?”

  Lauren nodded, “I know, right? You would think I would have been jumping up and down. Screaming. Celebrating.”

  “Doing him...” Karina added.

  “Yeah, there were none of those things,” Lauren con
cluded.

  “Why?” Amanda lightly prodded.

  Lauren sighed, “I just...it was getting to the point where I didn't recognize who I was around him. I mean, you guys, I found out that his Mom is sick, has been almost his whole life. He's been taking care of her, and pretty much raising his little sister, since he was ten years old. I found myself letting him take care of me, as well!”

  The girls continued to stare at her.

  “Again,” Sam reiterated, “While context suggests otherwise, that sounds like a really good thing?”

  “I'm not the kind of person who lets themselves get taken care of by other people! Who would I be if I started depending on that?” Lauren said, tears filling her eyes again.

  “You would be a strong woman who was blessed enough to find a good man that takes just as wonderful care of her as she takes of him,” Amanda insisted.

  Lauren looked up, shocked. This concept was a revelation, she had not thought of it that way. Surprise was written all over her face. But then, she squashed that, and continued, “That's not all, though. There was also this other moment where I turned into someone I didn't recognize. Ben was signing autographs for these stupid girls in bikinis, and he was turning on the charm, and I just...I was...CONSUMED with jealousy! Who is that?! That's not me!”

  “Oh, girl, please!” Karina said, “You think I don't go through that with Ryan?”

  Lauren, again, was completely and utterly surprised. “Do you?”

  “Oh, hell yes!” Karina exclaimed, “When Ryan and I go out and perform our joint project music in singer-songwriter clubs...I mean, who do you think likes singer-songwriter music? Do you think it's buff dudes that lust after me, that Ryan would need to be jealous of? Hell, no. That crowd is 98% females in their twenties, and they spend the whole time lusting after his perfect, ripped, guitar playing arms, which look pretty damn amazing in those tight vintage tees...”

  “Digressing,” Sam interjected.

  “Right, anyway,” Karina said, shaking her head to bring herself back to the topic, “When we sign autographs and things, do you think they aren't hanging all over him? And, of course, we have a public image, so he HAS to be sweet and charming to them!”

  “And how does that not bother you?” asked Lauren, agony choking her voice.

  “Dude, it bothers me a LOT! I wanna claw those bitches' eyes out! That's only natural. I wouldn't worry about that!”

  Lauren's jaw dropped. She had been so sure that the jealousy she had felt was the first step on the road to insanity, to complete loss of agency, that it was blowing her mind to find out that one of her best friends felt the same thing, and on a regular basis, too.

  “Same with me,” Sam chimed in, “When Luke has to be nice to the little snow bunny bimbos that so clearly want to get in his pants, I actually have visions of myself walking over and wrapping my hands around those chicks' skinny little necks. Sometimes my hands are shaking afterward.”

  At Amanda's look of concern, Sam quickly added with an elfin smile, “Don't worry, boss. I'd never act on it.”

  “So, how do you handle it?” asked Lauren, in awe.

  Karina shrugged. “I, for one, just try to remind myself that their ticket money is largely what's paying the mortgage on the house that I'm going to take Ryan home to that night and screw his brains out in, while they're driving home in a car full of their friends, just talking about how dreamy he was,” she smiled mischievously, “It takes some of the sting off.”

  “Oh, that's a good one!” Sam cried happily, “I'm gonna use that one, for sure!”

  “Oh, God, where were you guys last night, before I let my insecurities and fears ruin my relationship with the man I love?” said Lauren, stricken, realizing the full implications of the situation, “I've fucked everything up so badly. I've said things that I can't take back. I told him he didn't mean anything more to me than a hook up. What am I going to do?”

  “You're going to remedy it as soon as possible,” Amanda said.

  “And, as an aside...ouch,” Karina said, “Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

  All three of the others, even Lauren, hit her with pillows from the bed they were sitting on.

  Sam, always the one among them who favored direct action over anything else, probably stemming from her competitive background, said, “Where is he? In LA? You can't do this over the phone. Let's get your ass on a plane.”

  “He's at some bachelor auction thing in San Francisco,” Lauren replied.

  Amanda, Karina, and Sam looked at each other, coming to the same unspoken conclusion.

  “Road trip!” all three announced simultaneously.

  Lauren nodded, purpose filling her face, and got up out of bed, collecting her purse from the nightstand and heading toward the door.

  “Ummm...slow down a minute there, bunny slippers,” said Karina, catching Lauren's arm as she passed.

  Lauren looked down at herself, remembering her disheveled condition.

  “Whoa!” she laughed, realizing how she had almost walked out of the house. Thank God for her friends.

  Karina pulled her phone out of her bag. “Look, why don't you go jump in the shower. It'll do wonders for your puffy eyes, not to mention your jangled nerves. I'm gonna call Bernie and have him get the 411 on this bachelor auction. There's not much he can't find out.”

  Lauren nodded and headed into the bathroom. Yep, she reflected. Thank God for her friends.

  --- ~ ---

  Lauren's black Mercedes sped down Highway 80, her hands strong on the wheel. Yep. She was driving. She wasn't THAT evolved yet...she didn't think she'd ever be able to give up enough control to let someone else drive her car!

  As they passed through Sacramento, Sam piped up from the back seat, “Let's stop for snacks!”

  Karina, sitting in the backseat next to Sam, asked, “Stop where for snacks?”

  Sam shrugged, “I don't know, like a gas station, or a convenience store, or something.”

  Karina barked out a quick laugh, “There is not even one thing sold in the entirety of a convenience store – with the possible exception of water – that you would ever allow to enter your super-fit athlete's body. So why do you want to stop for snacks?”

  Sam shrugged, “I don't know! In all the road trip movies you see, they're always going into the store at the gas station and coming out with Funyuns or something...”

  “Yeah, we're not stopping for snacks,” Lauren said flatly.

  A small smile played on Lauren's lips as she concluded that Sam must not be able to see where her eyes were pointed underneath the dark sunglasses she was wearing. It was a welcome light distraction to have the fun of being able to say, in a complete monotone, “Sam, you do realize that I can see you in the rear view mirror, sticking your tongue out at me, correct?”

  The flaming red that shot up Sam's cheeks was an indication that, no, she hadn't known that – but Lauren was impressed by the way that she still responded in a sassy tone, “Yep. That's why I did it.”

  A few moments later, Amanda said dreamily, “Man, you guys...think about where you were and what you were doing a year ago. Would you ever have imagined this is where you would be today?”

  “You mean speeding down the highway trying to chase down the man that Lauren loves so that she can apologize for basically calling him nothing more than dick on a stick less than 24 hours ago? Nope.” Karina confirmed.

  “Not this exact day,” Amanda chided, “I mean today as in...now, our lives. You guys, having moved back to Hope Falls, all of us in blissfully happy, settled relationships?”

  “Don't jinx it,” Lauren warned.

  “OK, mere hours from all of us being that way,” Amanda amended.

  “I think it was Parker,” Sam said quietly, reaching up and putting her hand on Amanda's shoulder, “I think he's been watching over us from Heaven, and bringing us happiness and fulfillment, because he loves us.”

  Amanda teared up, as she did most every time she talked about
her beloved Dad. “He's looking out for us, just like he did when he was alive,” she confirmed her agreement.

  Karina smiled, “He's our guardian angel.”

  Amanda smiled back, “I love that idea.”

  Lauren took a shaky breath, “Here's hoping he's looking down on us today.”

  “Of course he will be,” Karina said confidently, “And this is all going to work out. You want to know how I know that?”

  “Very much so,” said Lauren desperately.

  “Because we're here with you, babe,” Karina concluded, “And we're the Fabulous Four...”

  All of them took up the mantra at this point, shouting the last part together, “NOTHING WE CAN'T ACCOMPLISH!”

  Chapter Twenty-two

  By the time the four women walked into the elegant lobby of the Fairmont Hotel, however, Lauren's confidence had begun to flag somewhat. She really hadn't thought this through, and rushing headlong into something without having meticulously planned for every eventuality was NOT her modus operandi! Not even close.

  Looking around at her surroundings, she saw why. Not only did the building fairly scream moneyed sophistication, but she also saw that everyone going in and out of the ballroom where the bachelor auction was being held was dressed in formal attire.

  She closed her eyes. Of course it was a black tie event! What had she been thinking?

  She wanted to turn and walk right back out the door, hand the valet her ticket, and drive straight back to the safety of Hope Falls. Hell, Sam could stop for all the snacks, she wanted! However, it was not in her DNA to retreat, particularly after having come this far, so she steeled herself and turned to the girls.

  “OK,” she said, “We're already so far out of my comfort zone that I'm going to do one more thing that is highly irregular for me. I'm gonna ask for help. So...what do you guys think? What's next? What's the plan?”

  Sam and Amanda looked blank, but Karina smiled broadly.

  “I got this,” she said confidently, and strode up to the concierge's station, the other three girls trailing her like ducklings. Karina had turned on the charisma, and her 'star power' energy was radiating out at full force.