Reviving Jules

by Peggy Trotter

  Her mouth flew open. Then she pulled in her lips to keep from smiling. She couldn’t even fake being offended.

  “It’s all right. You don’t want to swim. So that means you have to say yes to the next question.” He pulled off his glasses.

  Gulp. What was the next question? She found herself fixated on his eyes. “Yeah?”

  “Could you come over tomorrow, say lunchtime? I’ll order a pizza. I need to talk to you about something.”

  Huh? “About Andi?”

  “It does involve Andi.”

  Jules’ brows came down. Why didn’t he just ask her now? “What is it?”

  He straightened , slid the sunglasses back on, pushed his hands inside the pockets of his shorts, and glanced to where the girls had gathered at the shallow water.

  “Just say yes. Tomorrow, twelve o’clock?”

  “Okay, fine, yes.”

  “See ya then.” He patted her hood and took off to join the girls.

  Jules chewed her lip as she fired up the jeep. It must be about watching Andi since school was almost out. Jules had limited hours to help out, but she’d do what she could. Wait a minute. Tomorrow was Monday. Andi would be in class and he should be at work. What was the deal?

  * * *

  “…and please bring me a mommy. A really nice one. ’Cause I need one to buy me panties and stuff. A–men.” Andi bounded into bed.

  Rhett cleared his throat. If he had to hear that prayer one more time he might punch a wall. He set his teeth and stretched his neck. No problem. The plan would work and grant Andi her wish. He adjusted the covers around his daughter.

  “Do a fake story, Daddy. One with a white horse and a purple horse. And don’t forget to put ribbons in their manes. One can have spots on her bottom”—she giggled and covered her mouth with her hands—“and one can have pink hearts all over.”

  He chuckled. “Sounds like you have the story under control.”

  Her eyebrows shot up, and her large expressive eyes widened. “And they have dresses on. Princess dresses. And high heels.” Her face sobered. “Did Mommy wear high heels?”

  Wow. Like a line-drive to the head. He tapped his foot a couple of times and nodded. “She was known to.”

  “What kind?”

  Great. This Mommy-inquisition could last a good long while. “How ’bout you close your eyes and dream of fancy shoes.”

  Andi sighed and lay back against the pillow. “When God gives me a mommy, I hope she lets me wear her high heels.”

  Yeah, about that. Rhett scrubbed at his scalp. “All right. Let’s have that hug.”

  He leaned down, wrapped his daughter in his embrace, and planted a kiss on her forehead.

  Andi yawned. “Daddy, how long does it take God to answer?”

  Rhett let a stream of air through his stiff lips. “God answers in his own timing.”

  The child yawned bigger and rubbed her eyes. “Does God have a different kind of clock?”

  A smile stretched across his face. “You might say that.”

  “Is it a really big one?”

  Rhett settled on the edge of his daughter’s bed and ran his fingers lightly over her forehead. “I expect we won’t know till we get to heaven.”

  Her eyes drooped at his feather touch. “I got a lot of questions to ask God when I get there.”

  Andi’s breathing evened and her mouth parted as she drifted to sleep. Rhett removed his hand and stood. He stared at his beautiful daughter and crossed his arms.

  “Me, too, Peaches. Me too,” he whispered.

  He clicked the lamp off and strolled to the door. After one last look, he exited and shut it with a quiet snap. Every night, the child barraged him with questions. She chased one rabbit after another. He smiled as he stepped down the hall. But it always circled around a new mother, and he was weary of it. Tomorrow, with some luck, he’d iron it out.

  He walked to the sunroom and plopped on the couch. After sitting for a few moments, he leaned over, pulled open the drawer of the small end table, and drew out his wife’s picture. Andi resembled her in appearance. Beautiful dark eyes and thick hair.

  What would it be like if she’d survived? Grimness drooped his shoulders. He knew. They’d be divorced, she’d be wherever, and Andi would be longing for her mother’s visit. He’d be stuck trying to explain why her mother had no time for her. And his daughter would question everything. Then, she’d grow bitter.

  Perhaps it was best this way. In her final hours, his wife had accepted Christ, and Andi clutched only a distant memory of her presence. He only hoped Andi’s likeness to her mother was solely physical. A heaviness settled on his chest. God, guard Andi’s heart. Let her serve You and not herself. Let this plan work and satisfy her.

  * * *

  Jules hurried home after library school, thankful it had ended early, dressed for her meeting with Rhett, and was pacing the floor by 11:30. This was just a little weird. Surely this meeting centered about babysitting Andi. Maybe something big was happening. Maybe they were moving. Gross. Please, Lord, not that. Perhaps they were planning for company. What did that have to do with her? Maybe…endless possibilities popped into Jules’s mind. Rhett was probably tired of her troubles and wanted her to step back. No, he’d invited her to swim. Now pizza? She shook her head vigorously. Lame. What lame thoughts. Just a horrible big circle. Remember, God’s strength, not hers. Wait, wait, wait.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Jules reached the road in front of her house and walked toward the Carsen home when Rhett’s big silver truck pulled around the corner. He slowed and grinned as he came even with her.

  “I guess I failed to tell you I’d stop and get you.”

  “Well, it’s not like I live miles away,” she quipped.

  “Hop in. I’m just going to pick up the pizza.”

  “Okay.” She climbed in the passenger seat and clicked her seatbelt. Her nervous fingers rubbed the side seam of her jeans as she mulled the point of this lunch. They collected the pie through the drive-through, and it smelled delicious sitting on Jules’ lap.

  “So, how do you decide which pizza place to order from?”

  He shrugged. “I mix it up. Today’s it’s C.J.’s Pizza. Take it or leave it.”

  Definitely take it since she was eaten up with curiosity. They arrived back and padded into his quiet, spacious house. It seemed odd without Andi jumping about. He strode to the kitchen to gather plates and told Jules they’d eat in the sunroom. She laid the pizza on the glass top and sat in one of the chairs. She drummed her nails on the clear table surface. The atmosphere seemed too quiet. He arrived with silverware, napkins, plates, and a soda. She smiled.

  He settled himself in his seat opposite her and suggested prayer. After giving thanks, he made small talk as he opened one of the boxes. The second one contained breadsticks. He arranged the food and plates, and it struck her—he’d cut his hair. It looked tidier, but still long enough to look boyish. The stubble at his chin told Jules he hadn’t taken time to shave. It gave him a rugged look that, unfortunately, made him more handsome.

  “Jules?” He studied her as if he expected an answer. And she didn’t even know the question.

  Her eyes went to the pizza, and her face grew warm. Dear me. What did I miss?

  He chuckled. “Do you like my hair?”

  She cleared her throat, hating the warmth heating her cheeks. “Yes, it looks nice.”

  “Now, will you answer the first question?”

  The first question. Yes, she’d be happy to, if she only knew it.

  “What kind of pizza?” he reiterated slowly.

  “Oh, that, yeah, pepperoni,” Her face grew warmer.

  She pressed a cool palm to her hot skin, struggling for composure as they ate in companionable silence. Nothing like being caught staring. Oh, for Pete’s sake, the man had to know he was attractive. She scowled at her breadstick. Besides, when would he get to the point and to tell her what he wanted? Jules shifted in her chair. It wasn’t up
to her to bring it up.

  Lunch over, they cleared the table and put the remaining pizza in the refrigerator. Jules stood in the kitchen and nibbled her nail until he loaded the rest of the dishes into the dishwasher.

  “Let’s go sit in the sunroom,” he suggested quietly.

  Yes. Let’s.

  They settled on the cushion-covered wicker couch, and Jules tucked her feet under her so she could turn towards him. He sat at the other end with his body adjusted to face her. He leaned forward and brought his hands together between his knees. Did he seem nervous? After a few moments, he glanced up. “Jules?”

  She gave a tiny smile, and her brows rose.“Yesss?”

  “I want you to listen before you answer. Can you do that?”

  Her eyes widened, and her mouth parted in puzzlement. She clamped her lips closed. Uh, where was this going? “Okay.”

  He stood, paced to the glass door, and rubbed his fingers through his hair.

  “I’ve been doing some thinking the last week or so. Well, probably longer than that, but, let’s suffice it to say pretty intensely this last week.” He paused, taking a broad stance and crossing his arms across his wide chest. “School gets out soon. My babysitter’s going to California to go to college, and her folks are moving there, also.”

  Ah, he was going to ask her to baby-sit. She wished she could do it full time for him. Maybe she could get by if she quit Marsha’s. Her teeth caught her lip and worried it. No, it wouldn’t be enough income. But when her money came through, she could do it. Belatedly, she realized he’d continued talking.

  “I’ve got a couple of big projects ahead of me this summer and fall that require me to be gone for weeks at a time. Leaving Andi for a day is bad enough, but for weeks on end? And the lady who cleans my house said she can’t come anymore because her husband’s sick. That sorta leaves me in a tricky situation. I’ve have no babysitter and no housekeeper. Then, I thought about you, and your job, with no insurance.”

  He paced again gesturing as he spoke. “Your money is tied up, not to mention the yard work giving you fits, and I hate to call attention to it, but the fact you’re still living from boxes with no furniture and…I came up with a proposition.”

  A what? What was he talking about?

  “I think it might work out if we combine our households. You’d be in charge of the house and help get Andi where she needs to be. I’d take care of the insurance, mowing, and earning the income, of course. We could plan to deposit an amount of money into your own personal account each week. I’d provide for the things you need, and you’d fill in the gaps here at home.”

  Jules’ mouth opened while she stared at him. Had he really asked her to live with him?

  He stopped in front of her. “Jules?”

  She shook her head a bit to clear it and snapped her mouth closed. “You mean move in here?”

  A small grin crossed his face, and he cut his eyes from hers. “Oh, I didn’t get to all that, did I?”

  He glanced through the window and back at her. “Well…yes, you know, like roommates. There are four bedrooms upstairs and a large bathroom. You can take all four. They’re heated and cooled with a separate thermostat and everything. You’d have your own private area.”

  Her mouth gaped again. Had he lost his mind? Yet he kept talking.

  “Rhett,” she interrupted.

  He froze.

  “I can’t just move in here. You surely understand we can’t do that, don’t you?”

  He came closer and dropped to a knee in front of her. “Sure. We’d have to marry first.”

  Jules’s throat dehydrated. “Marry?”

  “Of course I understand it wouldn’t look right to move in, so we’ll just get married. People don’t need to know the way it really is.”

  “What way is it?” Somehow those words escaped in a breathy fashion.

  He put his head down a moment and took a breath. “I never intended to marry again either, Jules. But joining forces only makes sense.”

  Joining forces? Like two foreign countries merging to achieve a common goal. Two separate entities signing a pact to accomplish a feat of some magnitude.

  “Like two roommates?” Her voice strained.

  “Three, with Andi. I know this sounds crazy, but Jules, we get along, you’re great with Andi, and I’m more than happy to work and support everyone. I just need some help.”

  Their eyes locked, and he took her hand in his.

  “Promise me you’ll think and pray seriously about it. Please.”

  “Nobody will believe we’re a couple, Rhett. I’m thirty-nine, you’re thirty-five. It’s not going to look real.” This was all that concerned her?

  “I’ve already had several people ask if we’re involved. Even your sister didn’t believe me. It won’t be a problem, Jules. And it bothers me not in the least.”

  She swallowed and searched his eyes. Roommates. Friends. Friends pretending.

  “I’m not sure if I can pretend a marriage.”

  “You won’t need to, Jules. We do care for one another. It’s as simple as that. Think and pray about it, okay?”

  In a haze her head nodded up and down.

  * * *

  After the bombshell on Monday, Jules found herself doing exactly what she’d promised. She stopped by the tall brick church each day, knelt at the altar, and pleaded for an answer. Then she’d leave, calm but restless. She wore out her jeep with jaunts around the county, a constant prayer on her lips. She walked the country roads talking out loud to God, begging for His leadership.

  On one of these excursions, she started thinking about giving up the job at the diner, and what it’d be like to live with other people, with Rhett and Andi. To have someone to talk to any given moment of the day. It wasn’t hard to envision. She, puttering around Rhett’s kitchen fixing dinner, Andi jumping joyously about. All of them at the table. She taxiing Andi to school. On and on.

  She sighed. No more lying to herself. Age or not, marriage or spinsterhood, she was undeniably attracted to Rhett. Like a bee to a rosebud. She took a deep breath. The June Cleaver delusion tempted her sore. It was torture to be alone, yet Rhett’s constant presence might be more than she bargained for. She’d be marrying a gorgeous man she had no hold on. A marriage with no future. Friends were the sum total. Could she live with that? Would it be enough?

  The clouds covered the sun as she left the rock road and walked into a pasture path. Fifteen feet from the edge led to a gate behind which black cattle contentedly munched grass. Slumping on the metal bars, she placed her chin on her arms. Tears formed and trailed down her face. Tears. So many tears. Will they ever stop, Lord? It seemed all she’d done for the past eight months was cry. Could living with Rhett and Andi be any worse than what she had now?

  “Lord, please direct me.”

  A few Angus cows gazed in her direction. Friends. Being friends was better than remaining alone, wasn’t it? She’d never intended to consider a serious relationship at this point, so why worry about this attraction? This silly infatuation with Rhett. More than likely it’d disappear after a spell.

  “God, I’m tired of crying all the time. Please heal me. I need you to tell me what to do. Give me a sign.”

  She closed her eyes to the scene of the cows in a green pasture and tilted her head up, praying and entreating God. A single drop of rain landed squarely below her right eye, and trailed down her cheek. Like a tear. She blinked and gave a gasp of surprise. The next drop splashed beneath her left eye and trickled to her chin. Her mouth parted. Suddenly, the sky opened up and the rain purged her face of tears. She was soon wet through, but a smile tugged at her lips. It didn’t matter she was soaked. A sure peace warmed her soul. A honk sounded down the road, and it didn’t surprise her to see Rhett in his truck.

  Fine. It sounded crazy, but it seemed right. He stopped the vehicle, his window down, and waved at her to get in. She scurried to the truck, thinking. Yes. She’d accept his proposition. Perhaps friends could
be enough.

  Friends.

  Roommates.

  Yes.

  * * *

  She quivered at the price tag. Never in this lifetime would she allow him to spend that much money on a bedroom suite for her. She rolled her eyes as the sales lady lauded the incredible features of their choice. Andi bounced on the side of the bed and Jules shook her head, her face scrunching to indicate the inappropriateness of her behavior. Rhett, captivated with inspecting the drawers, the finish, and the mattress, appeared oblivious to the expense. Jules sighed.

  “Thank you,” Jules inserted, dismissal in her voice during a lull in the attributes of this company, blah, blah, blobbity blah. “I think we’d like to compare a couple others. We’ll let you know when we’ve decided.”

  The woman’s frosty gaze surveyed her before she flounced to the next prey. Rhett shot her a glance.

  “Jules, this is the best value. It’s a hundred percent wood, the drawers have metal slides. I’ve bought this type of mattress before, and it’s superior.”

  She pulled him by the elbow, drifted toward the children’s furniture, and watched Andi take off to the child-sized recliners. She twirled the engagement ring on her left hand. The weight of the bauble felt strange, and the diamond flashed a gleam. So gorgeous, but yet another huge marriage investment for Rhett.

  “Rhett, we’ve discussed our roles in this marriage. You’re the provider, the head, I’m the care-giver. But I also get to put in my two cents. That set is way too expensive. I can’t, as your future helper, in all good conscience, watch you pay that much for my bedroom suite.”

  He crossed his arms and shook his head. “And we’ve talked about this too, Jules. It’s my responsibility to provide the furniture. Ah.” He exclaimed and held up one hand when she tried to interrupt. “We’re not going back to the discussion of you buying your own or sharing the cost. Remember, we settled it. I’m the provider.”

  “Fine, but you will not provide such an expensive set. I located one in the next aisle that’s less than a third the price of this one, and it’ll do quite nicely.” She sighed. This sorting out duties could get old. “Please, Rhett.”