Reviving Jules

by Peggy Trotter

  Her heart pounded, and her face grew warm. After a moment, he nodded and brought his hands down. She blinked, wishing he hadn’t stopped touching her. A tingling warmth started where he’d rubbed and spread throughout her body.

  “All right.” He turned from her and picked up the air mattress. Jules stood, dumbfounded, trying to collect her wits. Had she actually suggested they share the same bed? He did understand it was just sleep…didn’t he? Stop being silly. Of course he knew.

  She picked the pillow and blanket up and ambled to the bed. Which side? She shrugged and flopped them down, unwilling to ask such an intimate question aloud. Oh yes, but ‘both of us could sleep in the bed,’ was fine to utter. She brushed her thoughts away and hurried to the bathroom to put on way more bed clothes than she’d ever worn before.

  Only a small lamp lit the room when she emerged, and she padded softly to the bedside. Rhett was already in bed. She took a deep breath and pulled back the sheet and, without touching him, lay down.

  “Good night, Jules,” he murmured as he reached to turn off the lamp.

  “Yes, you too,” Jules answered, lying as stiff as one of Andi’s dolls. It was going to be a long night.

  * * *

  After eight nerve-wracking hours of trying to sleep without moving, Jules rose and planned the day. They’d visit the Locks and Dam for a picnic, so Andi could play on the playground for a while, and then visit the zoo.

  The weather cooperated with lovely sunshine and a slight breeze. Jules breathed a sigh of relief and a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord. Andi loved the zoo. Some new features, including a rainforest area, fogged with a mist to imitate the ecosystem, amped up their enjoyment as they explored the different levels. Jillian, such a good baby, slept contently in her stroller as they walked.

  They ate dinner at a steakhouse on the edge of town and drove forty-five minutes back to Rhett’s house. Everyone was exhausted, and they unwound in the living room. Jason had received a job offer in Evansville. They hoped it offered more money, and of course it allowed them to be closer to Jules and Rhett.

  Jules schooled her features carefully. This could be frightening. While having Hannah and her family close would be wonderful, it’d be taxing to constantly be on guard in case they popped in or called ten minutes out. Yet there were complications, Hannah explained, with the adoption and so forth. Jules smiled stiffly. Hannah could read her like a book so she had to be careful.

  Later, they played Trivial Pursuit with Andi perched on her father’s lap giving her two cents’ worth. Jillian had been sequestered upstairs in a quiet room and was long gone to the world. After several hours of laughter and fun, Andi went to bed and Hannah and Jason took their leave to their room. Jules disappeared into the hallway bathroom and sat on the side of the tub.

  How could it be bedtime already? She buried her face in her hands. Again. She’d have to sleep in that bed. With him. Feel the warmth of his body. She groaned softly. She was wiped. The day had taken what strength she had.

  And all the pretending. Rhett putting his arm around her as they walked. Rhett sitting close to her and stretching his long body out in a relaxed posture. Feeling his muscled leg against hers. Watching the wind flip his hair, seeing that crooked smile widen when he glanced at her. Why did this bother her so? He was a friend, a roommate.

  Then, realization flooded her brain. She rose and stared at herself in the mirror. Nooo. How could this be? The reality trounced her in the chest. She was in love with Rhett!

  She pressed her hands to the mirror, framing her face, and took breaths in small gasps. How? How could this have happened? When had this happened? Where could this have…? She shook her head and scrutinized her shocked face as if that could erase the truth. How could she have put herself out there once more after swearing she’d never love again? And with Rhett. It made absolutely no sense whatsoever. What was she going to do?

  She finally emerged from the bathroom, went to Rhett’s bedroom, and closed the door. Somehow, she had to get in the bed and ignore the blaring truth she’d just discovered. Rhett lay in bed with his back to her and the lamp on. In the bathroom, she shimmied her pajamas on, padded across the bedroom, and slipped between the sheets.

  “Good night, Jules,” his voice deep and sleepy.

  She swallowed, wetness on her lashes.

  “Uh-huh, you too,” she whispered, trying to push the emotion from her voice. Another rigid plastic doll night.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  On Sunday, they made their way to the tall brick church. Pastor Kinkle’s pleasant smile welcomed them, and introductions went around. Jules’ mind revisited their first visit after the wedding. She’d cringed when the pastor announced their marriage from the pulpit and everyone clapped.

  Afterwards, people approached by the tens and the dozens, slapping Rhett’s back and shaking his hand, while the ladies smiled in congratulations, some hugging the both of them. They didn’t appear shocked by the impromptu wedding or question any age difference between her and Rhett, thank goodness.

  And now, everyone welcomed Hannah, Jason, and little Jillian, and comfort oozed through Jules, embraced once more by a Christian congregation. They settled in the balcony, and Andi exited after the singing to join the children’s church downstairs. Jules tensed as Rhett slung an arm over her shoulders. Seemed like she’d get used to that eventually. It wasn’t unwelcome, yet the falsity lodged in her craw. She took a deep breath. Fine. She’d make the most of it, and snuggled closer. His gaze lit on her profile, but she kept her face turned toward the pulpit and ignored him.

  Throughout the sermon, her eyes returned to tiny Jillian. At only four months old, she did little more than watch the ceiling fan. But just her soft coos and innocent face drew Jules’ attention. She was beautiful. Maybe in time, Jules could forget the past. Just as these thoughts passed her mind, Hannah turned and offered the child to her. Jules’ heart squeezed as she took the wee thing. Hannah gave her a small smile and pushed the pacifier back into the baby’s mouth.

  The infant captivated Jules, and Pastor Kinkle’s words floated above her head for the rest of the service. She couldn’t keep from gazing at the fresh sweetness of the babe. A smile crossed Jules’ face as baby Jillian’s eyes lit up, and the pacifier grew lax around the baby’s grin. Hannah’s hand came over and removed the soother from her mouth. Her heart-tearing grin captured her heart. Jules was smitten. Whatever had happened no way reflected any fault on this innocent child.

  Jules’ eyes shimmered with tears, and she glanced up to beam at Rhett. He peered at the babe before meeting her eyes in an understanding gaze. His lips twitched and he reached with his free hand to wipe the one lone tear trailing down Jules’ cheek. She quickly pulled her attention from him as a huge lump formed in her throat. If she wasn’t careful, she’d let her love for him shine like a beacon in her face.

  After a lunch meal of roast beef, potatoes, and carrots complimented with fresh bread from the oven, they watched a movie, a romantic comedy that had them laughing. Hannah and Jason took their leave at five, saying they’d stop for something if they became hungry. Andi had started a video in her room but rushed to the door to hug everyone goodbye. And although the weekend had been trying, Jules’ heart rent to see them go, and her eyes filled with tears as they drove off.

  Rhett put a comforting arm around her shoulders, but she stepped away. Her emotions throbbed raw.

  “You okay?” he called after her as she disappeared down the hallway.

  “I’m fine,” she muttered and took the stairs two at a time to her apartment upstairs.

  Jules gritted her teeth as she ripped the sheets from her bed, aka, Hannah’s and Jason’s bed. Rhett appeared at the door. He put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the freshly painted frame. After watching her for a moment, he spoke. “Need any help?”

  “No,” she snapped.

  Yet he didn’t disappear. He just stood there. Finally, she flung down the bedclothes to the floor, pl
anted her fists on her hips and pivoted to glare at him. “What?”

  He held up his hands in surrender. “Nothing. Just don’t want you to be upset, that’s all.”

  She puffed up. “Well, you can’t control my every emotion, Rhett. Just because we’ve combined households doesn’t mean you’re responsible for everything. The whole arm around my shoulders thing was just for Hannah and Jason. You don’t need to put on some act for me. I’m sad, okay? Let it go, give me a little space, will you?”

  That being spent, her chest heaved as she filled her lungs with oxygen. His face stiffened, and he turned away. “Sure, Jules.”

  He disappeared from the doorway, and she slumped to the bare bed. My, she’d been an old battleax. A horrible woman. Her hands covered her face and tears bit her eyes. Spending two sleepless nights in his bed, longing for him, aching for his love, had left her exhausted and wrung out. And she missed Hannah. How she wished she could’ve shared her newfound love with her. Or confided to her how difficult it was to impersonate a marriage.

  Being in this circumstance proved harder than she ever thought it could be. She gripped her hands in her lap and turned her head to the window. She’d apologize to Rhett, of course. But not until later. Now she’d move back to her second floor apartment. Misery bloomed in a snuffle.

  * * *

  Rhett snapped off the news with the remote, rose from the living room couch, and walked to the patio door to slip out. Jules had been on his mind all evening. What had he expected from her? It wasn’t like the woman would jump in his arms and stay snuggled in his bed once the visitors left.

  Sleeping with her had been grueling. Every urge in his body told him to turn over and gather her into his embrace. To press her against him, experience her softness, break down barriers, bury himself in her essence. He hankered to explore her lips. He grunted and crossed his arms. He was still a man, pretense or no. And he couldn’t deny her beauty, or the way she drew him. Stop right there. He went through the roommate cadence again in his mind as the crickets chorused around him.

  “Chant the rules all you want, Carsen.” He murmured to himself. “You want her.”

  He raised his eyes to the light of the full moon. This marrying the nanny had ballooned into a problematic assignment. One he hadn’t quite bargained for. Living with her and not touching her. He jerked his head in frustration.

  Yeah, he was an idiot. It’d sure been nice to put his arm around her warm body and pull her close this weekend. She fit against him perfectly. Her hair smelled fresh and delicious. He’d loved the way it fell to his shirt when she turned her head. He wanted to catch a lock and caress the curl around his finger, but that would’ve been difficult to explain away.

  Okay. Here he went again. The rules, Carsen, the rules.

  * * *

  Jules woke abruptly and squinted at the clock. Three fifty-three. Flopping back on her bed, she took a deep breath and stretched her arms above her head. Finally, she propped herself up. She had to pee.

  Her eyes adjusted to the near darkness. Someone must have turned the overhead light off. A blanket covered her, and the pillow she lay on came from Rhett’s bed, and as she scanned the room, she located the mound of sheets off to one side on the floor. Gracious. She’d fallen asleep after her encounter with Rhett. She hadn’t even put Andi to bed.

  With a groan, she whipped the blanket from her legs and waddled to the bathroom. Rhett. He’d taken care of these details. What a way to start a day, having shirked her duties. Quietly, she went to the stairs. He should be up and moving about.

  She could see the light in the kitchen and moved toward it, keeping her head down to avoid the brightness. He wore shorts with nothing but a bare naked chest. Oh, glory. He poured water into the coffee maker. She settled on the barstool, trying to keep her eyes from following his muscular back as he fit the water dispenser into the machine.

  “To what do I owe this pleasure?” he asked, salted with a dash of smart aleck.

  Her loud sigh caused him to turn and face her. Don’t look at his chest, don’t drop your line of sight. She planted her gaze on his face, stubbly and adorable. Yeesh. That didn’t help much. “You deserve a couple of apologies.”

  His left eyebrow rose, and he leaned against the counter with both arms. Jules steeled herself not to notice the muscles jump and tense across his shoulders.

  She bit her lip. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. That was totally uncalled for. I just hated to see Hannah leave. We’ve always been so close. I didn’t realize how much I missed her, and though this weekend was difficult on us all, I enjoyed visiting with all of them.”

  He lowered his head and gave her a playful grin. “Even the baby?”

  “Yes.” she smiled. “Even the baby. I thought I couldn’t love that child, but I’ve found I do, Rhett.”

  His face grew serious. “I was positive you would, Jules. By the time I met you, you and Andi were like two peas in a pod. I knew it wouldn’t be long before you’d bond with Jillian.”

  Jules shrugged and fastened her gaze on her folded hands. “Yeah, but Andi’s special. She and I just clicked.” She locked eyes with him. “I love Andi, Rhett. I hope you understand she’s like one of my own. I always wanted more kids.”

  She rubbed an imaginary spot on the counter. “Anyway, I’m also sorry for letting you and Andi down last night.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  She looked at him, smelling the coffee in the background. “I fell asleep and left you to put her to bed. I’m the care-giver, remember?”

  He threw back his head and laughed. “Well, overall that’s true, but that doesn’t mean you’re responsible for Andi twenty-four seven. I’m her father. I’ve been putting her to bed for years. I’ve enjoyed watching her grow attached to you over the last few weeks. She chooses you over me more than half the time. She needs a woman in her life, and I’m glad it’s you. But you’re not her slave. Big deal, you fell asleep. You were worn out. Andi and I got along just fine. No need to apologize for that.”

  Humor tugged at the corners of her mouth. “But the other apology is needed, and I am sorry.”

  He stared long and hard at her. “Just the fact you’re willing to apologize means a lot. I…” His voice hitched, and he turned, opened the cupboard, and reached for a mug. He poured his coffee and added sugar, stirring it with a clink of the spoon before he faced her. “Anyway, don’t worry about it. We’ll have days like these.”

  Her smile turned into a yawn. He seemed preoccupied. What had he been about to say? “Well, I think this care-giver is going back to bed.”

  “Hmm, oh, yeah, sweet dreams.” He leaned against the sink to sip his coffee.

  His right bicep bulged as he brought the cup up. Time to exit.

  Jules climbed the stairs, slowing to a stop at the top. Did Rhett still wake in the middle of night as Andi had mentioned a few months back? Did he pull open the drawer that held the picture of his first wife?

  Her stomach turned. That horrible green-eyed jealousy grabbed hold of her. As if it mattered. She hardly existed for Rhett. How low-down and dirty would it make her feel if she pumped the child for some information? Rhett definitely had his mind on something this morning.

  * * *

  After Andi awoke and Jules finished her chores, the child begged Jules to go swimming. The glorious sunshine and boiling temperature added more temptation. Goldie’s name even entered the picture.

  “Can we invite Goldie? Please, oh, please?” Andi clasped her hands under her chin, eyes wide and pleading.

  How to turn down such a cute appeal? So it was decided. Jules called Goldie’s house, spoke with her mother, and planned for her to be dropped off at one for the swim date. Jules went to the kitchen to plan a dinner that would cook itself. She pulled out the crockpot. Perfect. Throw in a chicken and on to swim and sun bathe.

  Jules threw the ingredients together and had just turned the dial to low when the doorbell rang. Andi ran pell-mell through the h
ouse to answer the door. Jules hurried so she could speak with Goldie’s mother. The girls darted, squealing, to the pool and left Jules to bring the towels, drinks, and snacks.

  After placing the things at the table, she smiled as the girls splashed and played. She removed the robe she wore, thankful for the privacy fence that lined the yard. Mercy, Miss Percy. What had she been thinking? The tiny two-piece suit had been an impulse buy before the wedding. The rainbow tie-dyed design sported a fringe, and the fit was perfect. After purchasing a modest brown one-piece for mixed company, she couldn’t resist the little two-piece for sunbathing when it was just her and Andi. And Goldie, of course.

  She glanced around to make sure the fence blocked the neighbors’ view and slathered lotion on her skin. “Your mom put sunscreen on you, Goldie?”

  The child barely paused to answer. “Yeah.”

  Andi and Goldie battled in the midst of a fun-filled noodle fight. Jules had doused Andi with a thick layer thirty minutes ago. “Are you sure?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  Ah, Jules leaned back in the lounger and slid her sunglasses on her face. This was just one mouse hole south of heaven. She flopped her book down in the middle and closed her eyes. The girls screamed and splashed, throwing a ball to and fro in the pool. Briefly, she’d open her eyes to check on them and then close them again. Their excited voices helped her keep track of the animated imps.

  “I suppose this is what the care-giver does during the day? Looks rough.”

  She jumped at Rhett’s voice, so startled she couldn’t move. He stood above her with a smirk on his face. What was he doing here? She looked down. There she was, exposed in all her glory. Seriously, why was the man home?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Jules gasped and her hands flew to her cheeks. She squinted up but couldn’t make out Rhett with the sun in her eyes. Quickly, she stood. A wolfish grin snaked across his face as he surveyed her bikini-clad body.

  Her robe hung on a chair a good fifteen feet away so she clenched her arms around her middle. “What…what…what…” Had she said that word three times? “What…are you doing here?” Nope. Four.