All I Want for Christmas is Big Blue Eyes

by Claire Ashgrove

  Maybe this raising a little kid had benefits he hadn’t anticipated. If girls’ toys were this fancy… how far had little boys come from G.I. Joe?

  “Have you ever flown a remote control airplane, Emma?”

  “Nope,” she answered, absorbed in combing one of the twin’s long black hair.

  Another thing he’d have to change. Dolls, dogs, and stuffed animals were fine. Particularly for a little princess. But even royalty needed a hefty touch of the outdoors and some excitement once in a while.

  Absorbed in watching her play and listening to her chatter on endlessly about the histories of the two twins, he lost track of time. At some point, Olivia joined them, with Charley on her heels. She leapt right in and animated the dolls alongside Emma—like she’d turned back time and was six again, not the sister who frequently liked to remind him she was four years older. The puppy entertained himself by tossing a shiny gold bow in the air and attempting to catch it.

  Josh looked up as the door opened. When Lucas and Mae entered, he pushed himself to his feet to greet Lucas with a hearty handshake and a brotherly hug. He gave Mae a kiss on the cheek, took her coat, and hung it on the wall while Lucas caught Emma around the waist and swung her in the air.

  Amanda left her kitchen to say hello, and the room took on a life of its own. Olivia and Lucas bantered, exchanging insults amidst laughter. Mae pulled Emma onto her lap, curious about the four toys she’d already opened. Amanda left them to their chatter, clattering and bustling about in the kitchen as enticing aromas wafted through the house.

  Josh stood back, leaning against the open doorway that divided the living and dining rooms, watching.

  Absorbing the scene of the only family he could claim.

  This, he realized, was what Christmas was supposed to be.

  Thirty-four

  “Oh, Amanda, that was excellent.” Mae set her fork on her dessert plate and folded her napkin atop the table. “You make apple pie like your mother did.”

  Amanda smiled at the praise, picturing days long ago when Mae would come by on summer evenings for some of her mother’s apple pie and a bowl of homemade, vanilla bean ice cream. “Thanks, Momma B.”

  “It was very good. Thank you, Amanda,” Olivia remarked as she passed Josh her empty wine glass. “More wine please?”

  “Try listenin’ to yourself a bit,” Lucas goaded with a smirk.

  For a moment, Olivia stared at him, wordless. In the fraction of time silence hung over the table, Amanda braced herself for the smart remark Olivia would return. The two had been digging into each other all afternoon. Even Josh didn’t pick on his sister as much as Lucas did.

  Olivia struggled for a smug smile, accepted her glass from Josh, and lifted it to Lucas in mock toast. “I’ve taken lessons from the best.”

  Josh cleared his voice. With a warning glance between the two, he called for a truce. He rose to his feet, topped off Lucas’s glass, then Mae’s, and approached Amanda’s.

  She slid her fingers over the crystal rim. “No thank you.”

  Cocking his head to the side, his features scrunched together in surprise. “You sure?”

  “Just one for me. Thanks though.”

  With a quick kiss to her cheek, he returned to his seat at the opposite end of the table.

  “Can we open presents now?” Emma asked. Seated at Josh’s right, the up and down movement of her body told Amanda she swung her legs back and forth beneath the table.

  Amanda grinned. She couldn’t blame Emma for being impatient. With more gifts under the tree than she’d ever seen, the temptation was surely agonizing.

  “Yes, sweetheart.” Amanda glanced at the rest of her companions. “Shall we?”

  “Of course. That’s what we’re here for, isn’t it?” Mae’s watery grey eyes sparkled with mirth. “To see what Santa brought?”

  “I think Lucas would have us believe we’re here to entertain him,” Olivia quipped as she scooted her chair back.

  Josh frowned at her.

  Oblivious to his punishing gaze, she bent down and unfastened Charley’s leash from her chair leg, setting the puppy free. He scampered over to the paper that still cluttered the floor from Emma’s earlier gift opening. Lying down, he picked up a crushed ball of paper, fastened it between his forepaws, and taking the protruding corners between his teeth, promptly began to shred it.

  Amanda tried not to laugh as Lucas glowered at Olivia’s back. If he didn’t give as good as he got, she’d have felt sorry for him. Unfortunately, he’d brought most of this on himself when he started out the evening by remarking on Olivia’s even length of hair.

  Emma wasted no time in dashing to the tree. Before the adults could even sit down again, she was stacking presents by name in front of the couch and chairs.

  Fastening his fingers with Amanda’s, Josh gave her hand an affectionate squeeze. She looked up, unable to contain the smile that seemingly resided on her face today. Despite all the recent frustrations with him, today felt more like a real Christmas than any had in years. The last time she’d been this happy had been the year before her mother got sick. No Emma, no Tyler, just her mother, herself, Lucas, and Mae.

  Josh dropped into one corner of the couch and pulled her down beside him, sliding his arm around her shoulders. She tucked her feet up in the cushion next to her and snuggled close, listening to the steady drum of his heart beneath her ear.

  With Lucas on Amanda’s side, and Mae in the wing-backed armchair, Olivia took a seat on the floor beside Emma. “Emma, why don’t you open this one first? It goes with something else, that…well, you’ll see.”

  “Okay.” Tearing into the paper, Emma uncovered a classic Disney-style princess only with darker skin. Beside the lovely princess’s slippered feet, a large, sleepy-eyed bullfrog sat atop a packaging display rock.

  “The Princess and the Frog!” Emma cried.

  Amanda twisted, trying to get a better look at the figurines. Emma had been talking about the new movie since she saw the trailer this summer. “Are those porcelain, Olivia?”

  She nodded. “They aren’t toys, Emma. You’ll have to take care of them. But…” She turned the box in Emma’s hands over and tapped it. “It’s playing tonight if your mother will let us all go?”

  “Oh, Mommy, can we go? Can we please?”

  Olivia turned around to give Amanda an apologetic look. “I should have asked first. The show starts at four, and I only got four tickets. I don’t want to interrupt your plans today.”

  One glance at Emma’s expression, and even if the show had been at midnight, Amanda couldn’t have refused. “Of course we can go. We usually see a movie on Christmas together, just a little later in the evening.”

  “On that note, we better hurry,” Mae observed. “Why don’t we all go ahead and open things while Emma does? Emma has at least three to our every one.”

  Exactly like Amanda had hoped it would be when she’d convinced Lucas to skip their gifts to each other this year. She glanced down at her small stack of two gifts and scooped them into her lap, wanting to watch the others first and keeping one-eye on Emma as she tore into the rest of her gifts. As bits of paper flew around her, Charley scrambled to catch them.

  When Olivia let out a low mutter, followed by a hissing oath, Amanda jerked her gaze back to Josh’s sister. In her lap, she clutched a worn and faded box. She glowered at Lucas.

  Lucas’s howl of laughter stopped the commotion in the room.

  “What is it, sis?” Josh asked, leaning forward to investigate.

  Glaring, Olivia turned the box around, revealing the cellophane front…containing a remote control helicopter with the propellers ripped clean off and a broken tail.

  If Amanda didn’t already know Lucas had picked out a fancy set of paintbrushes on her behalf, the gift would have been horrifying. As it was, knowing the history of that helicopter made it downright hysterical. She covered her grin with her hand.

  “
Shit.” Josh laughed. “You kept that old thing, Luc?”

  “Damn right I did. I worked a whole summer mowin’ lawns for that. Kept thinkin’ one day I’d take it to some shop an’ have ’em replace the wires an’ glue it back together. Found it in my attic last night.”

  “Gentlemen,” Mae scolded. “Language, please.”

  Amanda giggled as both men flushed bright red and hung their heads.

  Josh nudged her. “Emma picked out something special for you.” He tapped the smallest box in her stack.

  “From Emma?” Amanda repeated. “Did she have help?”

  “Only with the purchase.”

  Mimicking her daughter’s frantic opening tactics, Amanda ripped the paper off in two swipes. Beneath the silver foil wrapper, a square, white box waited. She lifted the lid and blinked back tears as she fingered a delicate, gold link bracelet set with small, princess-cut rubies. “Emma, you picked this out?”

  She looked up from a large Santa-covered package. “Oh, Mommy! Do you like it?”

  Dabbing at the corners of her eyes, Amanda nodded. “I love it, sweetie.”

  “They said they were princess rubies.”

  Amanda chuckled along with Josh. “Princess-cut,” she corrected. “That’s the shape of the stone.”

  Josh gently pulled it from her fingers and fastened it on her right wrist. It dangled daintily, catching the light from the tree.

  “It’s very pretty, Emma. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, Mommy.” With that, Emma’s attention drifted back to her mountain of packages.

  Amanda looked up at Josh. “Open yours.”

  He shook his head and gestured at her remaining package. “You first.”

  Turning the box in her lap around, she peeked at the tag. From Olivia. Her head ducked, Amanda furrowed her brow. Nothing from Josh? Strange. Maybe Lucas told him about her desire to have everything go to Emma this year. That would explain why he spent so much on her.

  She pulled off the bow as Josh nudged Olivia with his foot. Suspicious, Amanda peered at him. “Do you know what it is?”

  “I have no idea what she came up with. I didn’t even know she had anything until we got here.” Leaning closer, he whispered, “Don’t hold me responsible if it’s something weird.”

  Chuckling to herself, Amanda wiggled open a plain brown box and dug through a thick mass of tissue paper. Near the bottom, something gold glimmered. Her curiosity piqued, she eased the object out, and held it up to the light. A locket dangled from her fingertips, and judging from the craftsmanship, along with the pattern of wear on the clasp, it was quite old.

  She gave Olivia a puzzled look.

  Olivia swiveled around to face her. “Josh won’t be thrilled, but that was our grandmother’s, Amanda. Open it.”

  Doing as instructed, Amanda eased the catch open and found a lock of white-blond hair inside. She lifted an eyebrow.

  “It’s Josh’s. When he was a baby.”

  Groaning, Josh dropped his head against the back of the couch.

  Amanda elbowed him in the side. She swallowed thickly, touched by Olivia’s sentiment. Although why Olivia would give her something that held so much family value, she couldn’t fathom. This was the sort of thing Olivia should keep, pass on down through their family. Give to her children some day. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  In a strangely thoughtful tone, Olivia murmured, “Thank you.”

  Before Amanda could pursue the odd remark, Josh picked up the sack she’d given him and reached his hand inside. Pulling it out, he tugged the sheet of computer-printed paper free and scanned it quickly. When he lifted his eyes to hers, his smile made her heart skip a beat. “A trip to Rome?”

  “I know you like ancient design…”

  He leaned closer, silencing her with a kiss. His fingers slid behind her neck, angling her head where he wanted it. With gentle pressure, and the lazily erotic stroke of his tongue, he stole a few moments of isolation even amongst their friends and family. The rumble of voices, the rustling of paper, faded from her awareness as her senses spiraled down the delightful path of pleasure his touch created.

  “Mommy, I saved the biggest one for last,” Emma’s voice invaded into Amanda’s thoughts.

  With a blush, she eased out of Josh’s embrace to investigate which package Emma meant. She spied the large red package, about four-foot square, leaning against the wall and sat forward. Emma had wanted this all year long, and from the first day, Amanda had made payments on it.

  Emma ripped off a long piece of paper, unveiling the photo on the narrow box. Contrasting against a light oak backdrop, a black desk sat atop a white rug. “My desk! Santa brought my desk!”

  “Santa did,” Amanda mirrored Emma’s excitement, her smile equally as wide.

  “Can we put it together, Mommy?”

  “We’ll do it later tonight, Emma,” Josh offered. “Right now, you’re pushing your movie time, and Lucas and your mother have something waiting on them upstairs.”

  Amanda stiffened. He wasn’t going to start this now, was he? When everything was going so perfectly? He couldn’t possibly believe she’d find anything about that damn project gift-worthy. The whole vile situation with Sandra turned her stomach.

  As Josh stood up, he tugged on her hand.

  She pulled it back, tucking it into her lap with a shake of her head.

  “C’mon, come see. Olivia and I worked hard on this.”

  Careful to keep the irritation out of her voice, she answered quietly, “No.”

  “Baby, I swear it isn’t as terrible as you think it is. Come look.”

  She read the hurt in his eyes and guilt stabbed through her heart. Still, she didn’t want to face that aspect of life today. Didn’t want the reminder of her bleak situation or what would happen in six days.

  Lucas stepped in, relieving the tension. “I’m game. Show me.”

  “Can I come?” Emma asked.

  Josh’s eyes held hers, pleading silently before he turned away with a sigh. “C’mon, Luc, Emma. Olivia, are you coming?”

  “No, I’m going to go start the car. Emma, will you put Charley in his kennel?”

  “Yes, Aunt Olivia.” She scooped the puppy into her arms.

  Olivia went out the front door as the trio headed up the stairs. Which left Amanda alone, under the heavy weight of Mae’s stare. She squirmed uncomfortably.

  “What’s gotten into you, Amanda Sue? It’s Christmas, and that boy’s plum crazy about you. Don’t you think you should see what he worked so hard on?”

  Amanda stared at her hands, not wanting to turn her frustration on Mae. She was too sweet. Too much like Amanda’s mother to deserve anything but kindness. “Mae, he’s got some fancy project he’s building on Emma’s land. You know how I feel about Sandra’s proposals, and Josh is working hand-in-hand with her.”

  She observed Amanda for a moment, her sharp eyes thoughtful. She tipped her head sideways a fraction, saying, “When I met Lucas’ father, he didn’t want a thing to do with my working. He’d been raised to believe he needed to take care of his family, and I shouldn’t do a thing out of the house.”

  With a resigned sigh, Amanda leaned back to listen to another of Mae’s philosophical lectures.

  “He loved me though, and when he saw how much it meant to me, we worked out a compromise. He let me work part time. But he made me put every dime I made into my own account and only let me spend it on things that were just for me.”

  Amanda shook her head. “I’m sorry, Mae, I just don’t see how that has anything to do with Josh and I.”

  “It has everything to do with you and Josh McDaniels, Amanda. I’m trying to tell you not to be so stuck in your ways. Open your mind a little. Listen to what that boy is trying to do for you.”

  Trying to do for her? He was trying to make losing Emma’s inheritance somewhat tolerable. And while that was a great notion in and of itself, he just couldn’t gras
p that there was nothing he could do to convince her into endorsing Sandra’s concrete eyesore.

  Tiny feet slapped down the stairs, interrupting their conversation. But it was the thundering heavy boots following behind that had Amanda swiveling around to look over the back of the couch.

  “Mommy, mommy!” Emma cried as she skidded ,sock-footed, around the dining room table with Lucas on her heels.

  “What, baby girl?”

  “Mommy, Josh built you a ca—”

  Lucas clamped his hand over Emma’s mouth as he caught her around the waist with his other arm. “That’s your Momma’s present, Emma Rose. You don’t say another word,” he scolded sharply.

  Lifting a stern gaze to Amanda, he gnawed on his cheek. After several long moments of silence, he said quietly, “I think you better go have a look, ’Manda.”

  Thirty-five

  Amanda couldn’t fight them all. The combination of the look on Josh’s face, Mae’s lecture, Emma’s excited voice, and Lucas’s unusually somber tone, weighed on her conscious. She didn’t have a choice. If she refused, they’d all just think she was being deliberately stubborn and insensitive.

  “Fine.” She shoved away from the couch and stood.

  Dragging herself up the stairs, she worked through what she intended to say. How she planned to thank Josh for his efforts while simultaneously refusing his idea. He had spent time on this. Hell, he hadn’t even slept last night he’d been so driven to complete the project. She didn’t want to insult him, nor did she want to hurt him. But this was wholly unacceptable. No matter what sort of spin he put on it, what design flares he added, what monuments he created to honor Tyler’s memory…Sandra still stained everything a terribly ugly shade of grey.

  Outside the guest room, she took a deep breath. Lifting her shoulders and steeling herself against the inevitable encounter, she let herself in.

  Josh stood in front of the card table, facing his project, his back to her. His hands were braced on the vinyl top, his head lowered in the most dejected position she’d ever seen.