by Toni Blake
Looking around, she quickly spotted Jeff and Ronni not far from the front door. Narrowing her gaze on their oblivious, smiling faces, she said to Sophie, “You go play with the other kids, honey,” then she made a beeline for her ex-husband.
She didn’t hesitate to march right up to him, fists clenched, until they were eye-to-eye, practically nose-to-nose. He appeared a bit startled, even before she spoke.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing showing up here?” she bit off sharply. “On Christmas, Jeff? Really?”
Jeff’s eyes widened on her in bewilderment. And she sensed Ronni shrinking next to him in humiliation, but she couldn’t have cared less, keeping her gaze narrowed vehemently on her ex.
“Our plans changed. What’s the hell’s wrong with you?” he asked as if she were the rude one here.
“What’s wrong with me is that it’s one thing to divorce me, but it’s another to constantly parade your new girlfriend—wife, whatever—all over town, and now, even on Christmas, here, with everyone we know.”
Jeff simply looked disgusted, clearly not getting it. Then the usually quiet Ronni spoke up, saying—quite rationally, Sue Ann thought, “I knew this was a bad idea, Jeff. Let’s just go.”
But Jeff ignored her, still focusing on Sue Ann. “Look, I grew up here, too,” he argued. “Destiny is as much my home as it is yours.”
“I don’t think you know what the word ‘home’ means anymore. But that aside, the important part you’re missing—that you always miss—is that it bothers Sophie.”
Jeff then drew his gaze from hers to peer down next to her, and Sue Ann realized Sophie had followed her across the room, darn it. “Is that true, Sophie?” he asked brusquely. “Does it bother you for me and Ronni to be here?”
He sounded angry, and even if that anger was directed at Sue Ann, Sophie had no way of knowing that. She looked frightened, instantly sending Sue Ann that much more deeply into mama bear mode. “You can’t just put her on the spot like that! How can she possibly feel comfortable being honest?”
And that’s when Sophie turned and ran away.
Jenny had heard the raised voices and recognized one of them as Sue Ann’s, but she didn’t quite put two and two together until Sophie came dashing across the room, eyes welling with tears. She froze in place, not sure what to do—then watched as Mick, standing next to her, immediately bent down and scooped Sophie up into his arms, briskly carrying her as far away from the yelling as possible. Jenny followed behind, anxious to help calm Sue Ann’s little girl.
Whisking Sophie into a small office off the main room, Mick lowered her to the floor but kept his hands at her little waist as he sat down in a chair facing her. “Hey there, honey,” he said soothingly, “whatcha cryin’ about?”
Sophie sniffed and struggled to say through tears, “Daddy and Ronni are here. And now Mommy and Daddy are fighting. And Daddy’s mad at me.”
Jenny was about to swoop in and take a stab at some comforting words—but Mick beat her to the punch. “Aw now, I’m sure nobody’s mad at you. Nobody could be mad at anybody as cute as you.” He concluded by giving her a little poke in the tummy, à la the Pillsbury dough boy, and it made her smile a little through her tears.
“Grown-ups are silly sometimes,” he went on. “We can always find stuff to yell about. But you can’t let it bring you down on a day like today.”
“Why not?” she asked, sniffing again, and reaching up to wipe away a tear.
Mick leaned closer and said, “Because you got the best Christmas present ever, remember?” Sophie had told them about Santa’s surprise for her on the short ride from Holly Lane, Sue Ann whispering who was responsible for it, and it still blew Jenny away that Adam had come through with a real live reindeer. “So how can you be sad on the day when Santa brought you a reindeer? I mean, Santa never brought me a reindeer. What was it like?”
This, of course, brightened Sophie’s eyes considerably, and she launched into telling Mick even more about the reindeer visit, how she’d talked to him and petted him and how her mother had taken lots of pictures.
Jenny watched the whole conversation in awe. Turned out that Mick hadn’t needed her help at all. God, why didn’t he know, why couldn’t he see . . . he’d make such a good dad. It was bubbling up from somewhere inside him right now, at the moment when Sophie needed it, and Jenny knew he didn’t even realize it.
But she simply drew in a deep breath, then let it back out. Like it or not, she had to accept that it just wasn’t what he wanted, that it wasn’t meant to be.
“He couldn’t stay, though,” Sophie went on about the reindeer. “He had to go back to the North Pole. But that’s all right, because at least he came to see me, and it was the coolest thing that ever happened to me. Ever!”
“I can’t wait to see those pictures,” Mick told her with a grin that, even under these circumstances, Jenny found sexy as sin.
Sophie smiled and said, “They’re on Mommy’s camera. We’ll show you later.”
Just then, Sue Ann’s mother poked her head into the room. “There you are,” she said to Sophie. Bickering could still be heard beyond the door, and Jenny knew Sophie’s grandma had probably been worried about her when she’d run off.
“I was just telling Mick about Dancer,” she said.
“Pretty exciting stuff,” Mick added, and Mrs. Kinman smiled.
“Exciting indeed.” Then she refocused on Sophie and said, “Will you go for a walk with me. To my car? I forgot a container of cookies there.”
Jenny knew Mrs. Kinman just thought it was best to get Sophie outside for a few minutes until things blew over in here, so she rushed to the big rack near the front door to find Sophie’s coat.
A moment later, she looked for Mick behind her—yet she discovered him still sitting in the office, just staring straight ahead. She couldn’t make out his expression but said, “You were great with her, Mick.”
He just shrugged, sighed. “Guess I’ve sorta gotten attached to the little munchkin or something.”
Jenny had been trying her damnedest to work through her recent problem the last week or so, trying to make peace with it. She’d refused to let it ruin their Christmas, and it hadn’t—but she knew the unresolved topic still hung over them. So maybe right now was the time to say what needed to be said, even if saying it was going to break her heart.
“Even so,” she began, “I know how you still feel about the idea of having kids, and so I wanted to tell you—I understand and I’ll make the best of it. Because you’re right—you said up front how you felt and I thought that was fine with me, and now . . . I just have to deal with it. So I won’t bother you about it anymore—the subject is closed.” And she tried to ignore the lump that had risen in her throat by the time she finished.
Mick didn’t answer for a minute—he didn’t respond at all, just kept staring off into space—and Jenny was starting to wonder what on earth was going on in his head when finally he glanced up and said, “What if I’m wrong?”
She blinked, confused. “Wrong about what?”
She watched him let out a sigh, looking wholly uncertain. “Maybe I . . . I don’t know—maybe I’m starting to . . . have a change of heart or something.”
Jenny’s jaw dropped and her face went numb. What was he saying? “About?”
“About this—kids, having a baby,” he said, suddenly sounding a little exasperated.
After which she simply stood before him speechless. What had just happened here?
Fortunately, he went on, since she couldn’t muster the will to ask him. He gave his head a short shake and said, “I don’t know—what happened with Sophie just now . . . I can’t explain it, but . . . hell, Jenny, maybe I want more of it, more of how that felt. I just kinda . . . wanted to take care of her, keep her safe or something. And at the same time, I felt . . . close to her, like there for a second, I wanted her to be our little girl.” Now he shook his head more vigorously. “God, I can’t believe I just said that.
But . . . damn, maybe it’s been, I don’t know, bubbling up a little here and there lately and I’ve just refused to see it.”
Jenny bit her lip to hold back the smile that threatened to sneak out, then told him quietly, “Sometimes things change.” It seemed impossible—so, so impossible—but Mick was beginning to want what she wanted. He’d been so adamant that she truly hadn’t believed it could happen, even when Sue Ann had pointed out that it could. But now—oh Lord—he was making her Christmas wish come true just like Adam had made Sophie’s wish come true.
“Well, I don’t want to rush into anything here, but . . . maybe this is changing,” he said softly, still sounding uncertain as he got to his feet. Yet for Jenny, his words confirmed it, as sure as snow fell from the sky tonight.
Circling her arms around his neck, she said, “Mick, you have no idea how happy that makes me. Even if you’re not sure, it means the world to me that you’re just willing to consider it.” And then she gave him a kiss, small at first, but it quickly deepened into something passionate.
He kissed her back, his hands curving warmly over her hips as he leaned in closer, pressing his body to hers. “I think I do know,” he insisted against her lips.
And she guessed that was probably true. Not just because of how emotional she’d been lately, but because it suddenly felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted off of them, as if all the tension of the past few weeks had just been stripped away like so much holiday wrapping paper.
“You know,” she said, “I love the Destiny Christmas party, but . . . what do you say we ditch it and head home?”
Even with his eyes half shut in passion, Mick let out a knowing chuckle. “You just want to get started on this before I have a chance to change my mind.”
She laughed softly in reply, still in his intoxicating embrace, and said, “Maybe I just want to go to bed with my hot, hunky husband because I’m completely in love with him and want to give him one last Christmas gift—ever think of that?”
He gave a playful shrug and said, “Either way, doesn’t matter—I can’t resist you when you want to have your way with me. Let’s get outta here, Mrs. Brody.”
Finally, Adam dropped the kitten—who seemed far more agreeable than the rumors about him—back in his pocket and stepped inside from the cold. The first thing he heard? Sue Ann and Jeff arguing. Damn.
No one stood anywhere near them—apparently trying to give them some privacy, or maybe just not wanting to let their squabble put a damper on the party. The singing around the piano continued, although it struck him as ironic to hear the makeshift choir harmonizing on “Silent Night” at this particular moment—since he thought they were singing louder than before in an attempt to drown out the spat.
Then Sophie and Mrs. Kinman came back in—he’d seen them depart a few minutes ago, and now he realized why. Mrs. Kinman probably thought she’d kept Sophie away long enough for the argument to end, but Sophie’s sweet little face instantly puckered in distress.
Damn it, Jeff, why’d you have to come here tonight? He couldn’t help feeling it was almost as if Jeff was trying to rub his happiness in Sue Ann’s face. And yeah, Adam was still hurt by her rejection earlier—but mostly, he just wanted her to be happy. He thought she could be happy with him, but if she didn’t see it that way, he still wished her every joy—and she sure wasn’t getting that right now.
He couldn’t make out most of their words—the carolers continued working pretty hard to overpower the bickering—but then Jeff raised his voice above the music to say, “You’re really being a bitch, Sue Ann!”
And that was it.
Adam’s blood began to boil.
Especially when he took a few steps closer and saw that Sue Ann looked ready to cry.
He’d tried to stand back, tried to mind his own business here—but he couldn’t take it anymore. His jaw clenched and his muscles tensed, his hands curling into fists.
He never considered his actions; he simply followed his instincts. He strode right up in between the two of them, his tone low and menacing as he faced Jeff to say, “Listen, you need to back off and quit talking to Sue Ann like that.” He knew he was pretty much ending what little remained of his longstanding friendship with Jeff, but that didn’t matter.
In response, his old friend drew back, clearly stunned. “What business is it of yours?”
And Adam didn’t fight the urge to raise his voice. “For one thing, you’re clearly upsetting your daughter! And for another, I love this woman!”
As a collective gasp blanketed the room, Adam realized what he’d just done, said.
Whoa. Okay, so it was out. There was no taking it back now. So, not having much choice, he went on, speaking loud enough for the whole room to hear since they’d already tuned in anyway. Even the singing had gone silent. “That’s right,” he said, “I’m in love with Sue Ann! She’s sweet and funny and gorgeous, she’s a great mom, and she deserves better than to be treated like this!”
Then he turned to her, lowering his voice as much as possible now that he’d drawn so much attention back to them. “I didn’t meant to say it, to just blurt it out like that—I’m sorry. And I’ll leave you alone now—I just couldn’t stand by and let him talk to you like that.”
“Adam,” she breathed. She’d lowered her gaze at some point, obviously embarrassed, but now she peered up at him from beneath long, pretty lashes, looking bashfully beautiful. “I . . . I’m just . . .” She stopped, shook her head, then continued in that same hushed tone. “I’m just terrified. Terrified that one day you and I will be standing here behaving like . . . like this.” She motioned back and forth between her and Jeff.
“That’ll never happen. Ever,” he promised her. He had no idea what Jeff was doing now, how he was reacting to this, and he didn’t care. He only cared about the woman whose hands he now took in his. “I can’t make you many guarantees, Sue Ann—life is too uncertain for that—but that’s one thing I can promise you without a doubt.” Because no matter what, he’d never treat a woman he’d ever cared about that way.
Standing before him, Sue Ann said nothing—but she bit her lower lip, looking to him as if maybe, somehow, he might be starting to sway her, to make her see the light. So he went on. “I want to make you happy, Sue Ann, you and Sophie both. And I promise I’ll do my best to never let you down again, to never hurt you again, no matter what. All I need, sugar plum, is for you to trust me, to believe in me. That’s the only part missing.” He stopped, let out a breath, and realized exactly how true his words were, how close he and Sue Ann were to having what he knew they both wanted. “Just give me a chance to love you, honey, the way you deserve to be loved.”
Sue Ann peered into Adam’s eyes, trying to weigh it all—everything that had happened to her in the past six months. It was funny how life changed sometimes without your permission; you thought you had it all figured out and then—kapow!—everything disintegrated around you. It was funny how one unexpected event led to another, how one person led to another.
How had she ended up falling for this man? And so very soon, too. Was it all chance, or—as she’d always believed—did things happen for a reason? She wasn’t sure about any of that anymore—it was easier to believe in things like fate when everything in your life was good, and solid, when you had control over it all.
But control, she’d learned, was mostly just an illusion. And now . . . now she was realizing that the only thing she could truly control was her happiness in this very moment. She could go on denying her desire, telling herself she needed to focus on Sophie, or on her career, or on a million other things. She could go on being miserable, wasting more days that way. Or . . . she could choose to be happy.
She could choose to have faith. In Adam. To take a leap of faith, just as she’d been contemplating with Sophie and that kitten.
She could choose to take a risk and believe in him. Really believe in him. From this moment forward. The way she’d started to on that sleigh ride.
And—Lord, maybe it was just hitting her, really, truly hitting her—the man had brought a reindeer to her house! To make her daughter happy! Sophie’s happiness had been Sue Ann’s number-one priority since the divorce, and Adam had seen that and made it happen! And for her: a special ornament, a sleigh ride, tiny marshmallows. None of them huge things, and yet, in her mind . . . they were. Huge. Enormous. Maybe she’d been trying not to see that up to now, trying not to feel it.
Sometimes being in control meant . . . following your heart, allowing yourself to do something courageous, and . . . giving someone your trust. You’re strong, you’re capable, and everything’s going to be fine.
“I believe in you, Adam,” she whispered. “I believe in . . . us.”
He blinked, looking utterly stunned. “Really?”
She just nodded, smiled. And felt incredibly free inside as she watched the joy rushing through him.
Only then he was suddenly pulling her by the hand, dragging her across the floor, right out the door and into the still gently falling snow.
“What are you doing?” she asked, laughing.
“Avoiding a public display of affection. They’ve seen enough in there,” he told her—right before he kissed her.
Oh God, she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed this—kissing him, feeling the warmth of his body next to hers. She kissed him back for all she was worth and knew to the marrow of her bones that she wouldn’t regret this. He’d made a few mistakes, but in every other way, he was the most amazing man she could ever hope to know. His hands threaded through her hair as his tongue pressed into her mouth and Sue Ann let herself become completely engulfed in him in every way.
