Spring, The Twosies

by Josie Brown

  “Good! They saw me,” Kelly crowed. “What the hell! Matt just shot me the bird! Well! I…never…” Angrily, she plopped down in her seat.

  As the auctioneer took the podium, Kimberley sighed, relieved. If she were lucky, she could run out before Bettina spotted her.

  Soon, it would all be over, one way or another.

  * * *

  A few minutes before…

  Bettina tried to stifle her groan as she sank down into her seat.

  Concerned, Matthew patted her shoulder. “Everything okay?”

  “You mean, other than my arch nemesis is here as well, ready to buy anything of mine that her little heart desires?” A crooked smile rose on Bettina’s lips. “Oops! Sorry, I just remembered she doesn’t have a heart.”

  “With all the junk you and Art had, odds are it won’t be the statue,” he countered. When she frowned, he leaned back. “Or will it? Look, Bettina, Kelly may be a psycho, but she certainly isn’t psychic. What is it you’re not telling me?”

  Bettina’s heart was beating too fast. In turn, the baby kicked furiously. “Okay—don’t you dare breathe a word of it to Lorna! And certainly not Mother. Swear to me!”

  Matt, against his better instincts, crossed his heart.

  She sighed. “The statue’s base is really a safe. It has certain…documents inside.”

  Matthew’s eyes grew large. “Does it have anything to do with Art’s embezzlement scheme?”

  She shook her head emphatically. “Nothing like that. Just…personal things of mine…regarding others.”

  He frowned. “What others?”

  “Some of the Top Moms. To…to keep them in line.”

  Matthew shook his head, awed. “Sister, you are quite a piece of work. Who else knows about it?”

  “The women involved,” she admitted. “Not Kelly. But, obviously, she heard about it. She only wants to get her hands on it so that she can turn the tables on them—and on me.”

  “Because without it, you have no leverage over these people,” Matt reasoned. “Bettina, tell me the truth: is there a file on Lorna?”

  “Lorna?” Bettina pursed her lips. “No! Of course not. You and I both know that your wife is as pure as the driven snow.” Liar.

  She could tell he didn’t believe her. Her guess was validated when he stood up. “Sorry, Sis, you’re on your own. Just make sure your check to the Feds doesn’t bounce because you’ll end up in the hoosegow that much sooner. In any event, you’ll get there, one way or another.”

  She held fast to his hand. “Matthew—wait! I swear, there’s no file on Lorna! I just want to get my life back on track without this hanging over my head! I swear!”

  She was breathing so heavily that she felt as if she would faint.

  He stopped. Reluctantly, he sat back down. “Okay. But if you ever hurt Lorna, you’ll never see either of us again.”

  She knew he wasn’t joking.

  All the more reason they had to get the statue. Lorna’s file would be the first one she’d burn.

  The statue was the seventh item to reach the stage. As with the others, the auctioneer read its description with the alacrity of a sideshow barker.

  Heads perked up. Auction paddles were at the ready, including Brady’s.

  The auctioneer’s lowball bid was ten thousand. That was quickly raised, in five hundred dollar increments, to twelve thousand, and then fifteen thousand.

  How far do I want to go with this, Brady asked himself. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have the money.

  Okay, yeah, if AOZ comes through, I can give it to Bettina as a way of sealing our partnership. She’ll always be appreciative, and therefore, she’ll always be loyal…

  Oh, come on, who do I think I’m fooling? It’s Bettina.

  And what if AOZ walks? Then I’m stuck with the damned thing. And, I mean, let’s face it: if the catalog hadn’t called it out as a horse, I’d have never known.

  On a whim, he hung in until it reached seventeen thousand. After that, he stood up and walked out.

  It was early in the afternoon. Maybe Ally was still horny.

  He knew he was.

  He hustled out of the crowded aisle and out of the crowded room.

  Seventeen thousand…

  Seventeen-five…

  Eighteen…

  With every bid, Lorna’s arm bobbed up.

  Matthew is going to kill me, she thought.

  At first, her paddle had been hidden in a sea of them. But around twenty-five thousand, the bidding slowed. Besides Lorna, it seemed to volley among four other bidders. The cavernous room made it difficult to see who else was vying for the colorful statue.

  The next time she raised her hand, however, her whole body seemed to shake.

  She felt a trickle of warm water flow down her left leg. She grabbed Jillian’s arm. “Oh, my God! I think…I think my water just broke!”

  Ally leapt up. “We have to get you to the hospital—now!”

  Her friends each grabbed an arm and eased her up from her chair and out of the room through the back.

  Lorna nodded. “Please! Take my cell phone, Jillian. Matt is the first speed dial number. When we’re in the car, tell him to meet us there.”

  As happy as she was to deliver her twins, she was also disappointed.

  Once more, she was letting Bettina down.

  At twelve thousand, Matthew had nodded benignly.

  When the bidding reached fifteen thousand, he was wincing.

  By the time it reached, twenty-eight thousand five hundred, he’d chewed his bottom lip to shreds, and had to restrain himself from pulling down his sister’s arm each time she waved it at the auctioneer.

  “You do remember I’ll soon be supporting twins—through college,” he hissed at her.

  “I’ll pay you back…in installments…with my BFZ salary!” Bettina was breathing so hard that he could barely hear her.

  “Thirty thousand!” the auctioneer bellowed.

  Bettina’s arm went up again—

  And then down.

  Matthew sighed, relieved. Good! The madness has subsided.

  She clutched his arm. “Something is wrong!”

  “No, everything is just right. You’ve finally come to your senses—”

  “No, no!” Tears were streaming down her face. “Something is wrong with the baby!” She doubled over, cramping.

  He didn’t wait to ask. He cradled her in his arms and ran out.

  She looked back toward Kelly. Instead, she saw Kimberley.

  Why, that double-crossing bitch…

  Just at that moment, she spotted Daniel, leaning against the far wall.

  He saw her too.

  Both he and Kimberley had pity in their eyes.

  She buried her face in Matthew’s chest until they got to the car.

  At the shout, “Thirty-one thousand,” Kelly raised her paddle. After the auctioneer acknowledged her with a nod, she slapped Kimberley’s arm with it. “What’s Bettina doing?”

  “She’s…crying.” Kimberley’s voice shook. “And she’s crouched over… Oh, my God, Matthew is carrying her out!”

  “Yes!” Kelly shouted exuberantly. “It’s mine! Yes!”

  “Yeah,” Kimberley murmured. Oh. Fuck.

  I’ll never get out from under her thumb.

  The auctioneer stopped. “Do I hear thirty-two?”

  Even before he’d asked, the crowd’s murmur was already at a fevered pitch. No one had expected the bidding to go so high.

  An aide ran down the aisle. When he reached the podium, he handed the auctioneer a slip of paper.

  The man’s eyes opened wide. When he found his voice, he exclaimed, “Ladies and gentlemen, an anonymous bidder has raised the price to fifty thousand dollars.”

  “Oh…fuck!” Kelly muttered.

  “Do I hear a bid for fifty-one?” the man asked.

  Kimberley’s heart leapt in her chest. Her voice trembled as she murmured, “What are you going to do?”

  B
y the way the auctioneer looked right at her, apparently he was wondering the same thing.

  Kelly shook her head slowly.

  “Fifty-thousand, then. Going once…going twice…Sold to an anonymous bidder on the phone.”

  Kelly glared at the auctioneer, who merely shrugged back.

  She pinched Kimberley. “Let’s go. I’ve got to pick up my kid and my sitter from your place before some of your kids’ bad habits rub off on him.”

  Kimberley followed her out, but kept her distance: not just because she didn’t like to be pinched, but because she couldn’t stifle her grin.

  Kelly could no longer hold anything over her head.

  For that matter, neither could Bettina.

  She blessed her new best friend: the silent bidder.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Spurred on by Lorna’s painful gasps, Ally made it through every green light between the Fairmont Hotel and California Pacific Medical Center.

  At the same time, with Lorna’s cell phone in hand, Jillian was able to alert her pregnant friend’s physician, Dr. Mortensen, that she was on her way to the hospital.

  She then called Matthew’s cell number. Six times.

  Each time, she let it ring until it stopped. Finally, she explained, “I’m so sorry, Lorna! He’s just not picking up!”

  Ally swung into the driveway of the hospital’s obstetrics center. Swerving to a stop, she pointed to a wheelchair sitting outside the sliding doors. “Jillian, jump out and grab it while I help Lorna out of the car.”

  Jillian flew out the car on one side while Ally flew out on the other.

  “Just keep trying Matt until you get him,” Ally shouted as she wheeled Lorna into the lobby—

  Where she found Matt, pacing frantically.

  Wide-eyed, Ally and Matt stared at each other.

  His gaze fell to the wheelchair, where his wife sat, heaving in pain.

  Then he passed out.

  When Matt came to, Jillian was holding a cold compress to his neck.

  It fell as he bolted up. “Lorna! Oh, my God!”

  “She’s fine! Really, she is,” Jillian assured him. “They’re allowing Ally to stay with her until you feel well enough to join her.”

  Sighing happily, he eased back down. Suddenly, he sat straight up again. “Oh, my God! Bettina!”

  “What about her?” Jillian asked warily.

  “She’s delivering her baby too—right now!”

  It was Jillian’s turn to jump. “Oh! So, that’s why you didn’t pick up your phone.”

  “Jillian, please! You have to go to her—to Bettina!”

  Jillian flinched. “But…she won’t want me there. She hates me!”

  “Don’t take it personally. She hates everyone. And you’ll only need to stay until you can relieve Mother with Dante and Lily.” His eyes pleaded with her. “Lesser of two evils, right?”

  She nodded slowly. “Okay, then, call your mother. Tell her to bring the kids. I’ll take them to my place. Oh, and tell her to bring Hera! I’d imagine that Lorna will want her here too.”

  He tossed his cell phone to Jillian. As he ran off, he shouted, “Mother is number two on my speed dial. Thank you!”

  The epidural needle hurt like hell.

  Unfortunately, the injection had yet to kick in when Jillian stuck her head into Bettina’s surgical suite. “Hi!” Jillian chirped brightly. “The nurse said it was okay for me to hang with you until your doctor arrives—”

  “What in Hades are you doing here?” Bettina’s pained growl reverberated off the room’s walls. “Out! Now!” Her attempt to grandly point to the door failed miserably, what with all the IVs and monitors taped to her. “Where is Matthew, anyway?”

  “Yeah, um…funny thing about that,” Jillian’s laugh came out half-heartedly. “You’ll never guess who else is delivering today.”

  “Not Lorna!” Bettina snarled. “Must she always steal my thunder?”

  “Not to worry,” Jillian assured her. “Your mother is on her way, with Hera.”

  “No, no, no!” Bettina was now sobbing uncontrollably. “I can’t stand that woman!”

  Jillian was horrified. “Your mother?”

  “No, you dolt!” Bettina hissed. “Horrid Hera!”

  If Jillian knew which IV button would release more of the Kickapoo-joy-juice, she would have pressed it. Since she didn’t, all she could do was hold Bettina’s hand until Eleanor burst through the door, smiling.

  “Ah, Jillian! How kind of you to wait with Bettina. Ally has Dante and Lily out in the hall. Thank you for taking them on next. Feel free to take your departure. Neither of us will be offended.”

  Taking her at her word, Jillian fled from the room.

  “Mother, you don’t have to stay either,” Bettina sniffed.

  “Stop it, darling. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.” She kissed her daughter’s forehead. “But if this is your way of saying you’d prefer I leave—”

  “Not at all,” Bettina insisted. “I wouldn’t want to die without first thanking you for all you’ve done for me this year. I’d have ended up in the gutter without you.”

  Eleanor gave a grateful sigh. “Ah, good! The drugs are finally kicking in. You’re not dying, Bettina, albeit childbirth, as you already know, is the most painful thing we women do. Even if that weren’t the case, I’m grateful for what you’ve just said. Sadly, yours has been a truly annus horribillis. But something tells me that this new little Connaught will herald in a new era of—”

  “Yes, yes—all your platitudes are sincerely appreciated, Mother! Truly, they are,” Bettina gasped. “With that in mind, please call the nurses! He’s about to make his entrance—now!”

  * * *

  Meanwhile, just down the hall…

  “Okay, Lorna: one down, one to go! Remember, you want to do it just like in Lamaze class! Breathe…Breathe… Yes, that’s it! Now, push!” Matthew shouted over Hera’s Wiccan chant.

  Dr. Mortensen bent down in order to whisper in Lorna’s ear, “If they’re making nuisances of themselves, I can ask them to leave.”

  She was laughing so hard at his offer that the concerted effort for a big push wasn’t needed after all. The second infant—Eleanor Hera Connaught—entered the world with a cry. She was caught by her father, who also had the honor of cutting the cord. She was then blessed in tongues by her grandmother Hera before being washed by the attending nurse.

  After being swaddled in a pink plaid blanket that matched the blue one wrapped around her brother—Nicholas Morrow Connaught—both sleeping infants were placed in the crook of their mother’s arms.

  Awed by the sight, Matthew and Hera stood arm in arm. In a hushed tone, he asked, “Hera, what were you chanting, anyway?”

  She smiled. “Blessings for little Nick and Nora! That they’ll embody their mother’s kind heart, their father’s open mind, and their brother’s deep soul.”

  “That’s truly beautiful,” Matthew whispered. “Frankly, I hope they’ll see through your always wonder-seeking eyes.”

  Hera blinked away her tears. “Why, thank you, Matthew. And all this time I was under the impression that you thought my beliefs were a bunch of hooey.”

  Matt shrugged. “Once upon a time, yes. But through knowing you, I’ve come to realize that one’s faith in a higher purpose trumps any other problems we may encounter.”

  “True indeed,” she agreed. “It’s why I know Dante will be just fine.”

  This time, it was Matt’s eyes that glazed over with tears.

  Lorna sighed. “I love you both. But if you’re going to start being sappy, I may move in with Bettina, just to mix things up.”

  Matt’s eyes grew big. “Bettina! I almost forgot—I’ve got a new little nephew!” He reached for his phone, but couldn’t find it. “Darn, I left my phone with Jillian.”

  Lorna laughed. “That’s so funny. I did too. And by now, she’s got to be home.”

  “Not to worry. Eleanor and I will get them when w
e pick up Dante and Lily.” Hera sighed. “Since she’s angry at Jillian, she’ll probably send me in. I’m so distressed over the feng shui in Jillian’s house—”

  “Wait…Why is Eleanor angry at Jillian, of all people?” Lorna asked.

  Hera nodded. “I can’t figure it out myself. All I know is that she thought that holding your shower and Bettina’s on the same day was Jillian, Jade, and Ally’s way of ensuring no one showed up to Bettina’s. Apparently, it worked out that way.”

  “My friends would never do that to Bettina!” Lorna couldn’t believe her ears. “For that matter, why wasn’t I invited to Bettina’s shower?”

  “Supposedly, you were. At least, Eleanor was under the assumption that an invitation went to everyone in the club.”

  “Is that what Jillian said to her?”

  “No. Someone named—hmmm, let me think…Oh yes! Kelly.”

  “It sounds exactly like the kind of game Kelly would play,” Matthew muttered.

  “How cruel,” Lorna murmured.

  “She sounds like the embodiment of bad karma,” Hera declared. “No matter. I have a chant for someone like her as well.”

  Matthew chuckled. “Oh, this I’ve got to hear.”

  “Not here, and not now,” Lorna said firmly. “From now on, in the presence of all family, we think pleasant thoughts.”

  “Or chant pleasant chants,” Matthew countered. “No more drama in the Connaught household? This truly is a new era!”

  * * *

  Back up the hall, three hours later…

  What Bettina remembered about the birth of Nathaniel Morrow Connaught was the exhaustion she felt after his delivery; the disappointment of learning from Matthew that Lorna’s twins had arrived only nineteen minutes earlier (“Why must she always beat me to the punch!” she muttered at him); and the look on her mother’s face as Eleanor held her newest grandson for the very first time.

  Right after they kissed her goodbye, Bettina instantly fell asleep.

  She didn’t know how long she’d been out when she woke to the sound of Nat’s sleepy whimper. Opening one eye, she was met by the sight of a man, in scrubs and a surgical cap, holding her child.