Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1)

by Stoddard Hancock, L.

  Deryn raised her eyebrows. "I'm sorry, but what did you expect? You threw me into an apartment with a man I hardly know for an entire night. God knows I get enough awkward silences with you, and Bronson is pretty impossible to hate. Besides, you trust him. Why shouldn't I?"

  "Who says I trust him?"

  "You wouldn't have asked him to stay here if you didn't. And he certainly knows more about you than I do."

  Xander went red. "What the hell does that mean?"

  "Nothing," said Deryn, turning her head and staring at a spot on the wall.

  "Leon, don't you fucking go spacing out on me in the middle of our conversation."

  Deryn's head snapped back.

  "What did Bronson tell you about me?"

  "Nothing," she said again.

  "So you like him then?"

  "Yes, he's very nice."

  "Don't be fucking stupid, Leon! You're in hiding! This is no time for you to be going googly-eyed!"

  Her brow crinkled again. "What?"

  "You want him!"

  Now her brow shot high up on her forehead as her eyes widened. " What ?"

  "That's what you just said!"

  "No it's not! How on earth did your deluded ears hear that?"

  "Because you said it! You said you like him!"

  "As a person, Ruby! Not like that!"

  "So you're saying you're not attracted to him?"

  "No, that's not ... he's decent looking. I'm not going to say he isn't. But I'm hardly his type."

  "What does that mean?"

  Deryn instantly thought of Laramie Triggs. "He likes smaller breasts."

  Xander crinkled his forehead. Clearly, he didn't get the joke.

  "He's gay, Ruby. You know. Likes men ..." Her voice trailed off as she stared awkwardly off to the side.

  A pause.

  "He is?" asked Xander, looking absolutely baffled.

  "Oh, yeah." She smiled. "You really didn't know?"

  Xander's face calmed a little as he slowly shook his head. "So then ... he and Quigley -"

  "No, Ruby. Quigley likes women. It is possible for a gay man to have a male roommate who isn't his lover."

  Xander cringed. "Don't say that."

  "What? Lover ?"

  He cringed again. "Stop it."

  Deryn laughed.

  Xander looked over at her and felt a strange sense of satisfaction. She had laughed, and because of something he had done. Not Bronson.

  "So did you really just call me in here to act all fatherly, or was there a point to all of this?"

  He smiled and said, "Well, someone fucking has to. Can't have you go jumping into the sheets with the first man to cross your path since escaping your former life."

  "Technically, that would be you." Hearing what she'd just said, Deryn blushed and cleared her throat. "There's really no need. I already have a dad, and he raised me to be cautious."

  "Hopefully you have a dad," he said flatly.

  Deryn's face dropped. "What?"

  One look at her and Xander immediately regretted what he had said. He really needed to learn to hold his tongue. "No, Leon, I didn't mean ... He just hasn't been seen in a long -"

  "What did you want, Ruby?" she asked, looking at the floor and clenching her fists so tight they turned white, obviously trying not to cry.

  "I brought you something," he said, reaching into his inside coat pocket and pulling out the old Element. Deryn did not look up, so he walked over to her and touched her fist, easing her fingers a bit before slipping the handle into them.

  Deryn looked down at it and gasped. "What's this?"

  "It's an old Element, created before either of us were old enough to train. Meaning, it doesn't have to be registered to work. My mom had it on her when she was killed."

  "You kept it?"

  "I hid it," said Xander. "I always knew I might need it one day. And, now, it's yours."

  "Mine," she said slowly, carefully tracing the weapon with her free hand.

  Deryn smiled and then, very unexpectedly, reached out and hugged Xander. He was a bit stunned for a moment, but eventually let his arms wrap around her.

  "Is this weird?" she asked, but without making any attempt to let him go.

  "Yes," he answered honestly. "But it all is, isn't it?"

  He could feel her soft hair brushing against his cheek as her head bobbed. She pulled away and gave a coy smile. "Get some sleep, Ruby. You're no fun when you're grumpy."

  "I'm always grumpy."

  "Yes, I know." Deryn opened the door and slipped back out.

  "Took you long enough," said Bronson without looking up from the plates he was garnishing on the set table. "I was afraid he might have murdered you or something."

  The use of that word immediately wiped the smile off her face. Murder . "He would never," she said defensively.

  "I was only joking," said Bronson. "So what did he want?"

  "Just to give me something." Deryn took a seat at the table and put the Element down beside her.

  "That's yours?" he asked, pointing at it.

  Deryn smiled and nodded.

  Bronson laughed. "Figures. Only Ruby could get an unregistered Element in the middle of this dark world. You definitely found the right Guardian to hide out with."

  For the first time in two weeks, Deryn was starting to suspect that this was true.

  After breakfast Bronson left, but not before promising to come back and visit her soon. When he was gone, Deryn made herself comfortable in her blanket on the couch, the book Xander had given her set comfortably in her lap. Every few minutes or so she would catch herself looking up and staring at Xander's door. It was several hours before he finally came out of it, a cigarette dangling from his lips, just waiting to be lit. He went to the balcony and motioned with his head for her to follow. She did just that.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Pretty much every day for the next week, Xander came home to find Bronson there with Deryn. Gay or not, he didn't like the amount of attention he was giving her.

  Surely Quigley was starting to wonder why his roommate was never around anymore. But when he asked Bronson about it, all he said was, "Nah. He's been seeing this new broad for a couple of weeks now and spends most of his nights at her place. Curfew, you know?" And then he looked at Deryn and winked.

  On this particular day, Xander walked in to find them both sitting on the couch, leaning in towards something that seemed to be talking on the coffee table.

  "Evening, friend," said Bronson brightly.

  "Ruby, look what Bronson got me at the Black Market." Deryn held up what he could now see was a small and very old radio. "Did you know the Outsiders use these to communicate? My dad used to broadcast messages to me and my brother when he was away exploring new territory."

  "Careful, Deryn," said Bronson. "You don't want to go blabbing all of the Outsiders' secrets to the big, scary Guardian."

  "I'm already fully aware of the Outsiders' use of radio broadcasts, but they never use them to say anything of importance. They know better," said Xander, taking off his shoes. "Did you steal my money to purchase that, too?" The Black Market was perhaps the only place that accepted real currency. Knowing the wristbands were coming, Xander had been storing it for years, and now it was quickly dwindling.

  Deryn and Bronson looked at each other and laughed. "A woman needs her own underwear, mate. She shouldn't be forced to wear ones that belonged to your random bed buddies."

  " Thank you !" said Deryn. "And if you're going to be angry at anyone for that, it should be me. I'm the one who gave him your money to get them for me."

  "Yes, and I would still like to know how you knew where I kept it."

  "Well, you didn't exactly make it difficult. Sock drawer, Ruby? Really? If you don't want me to take it then find a better hiding place."

  Xander narrowed his eyes at her. "You're both getting too fucking comfortable here."

  Deryn and Bronson looked at each other and laughed again.

 
"Don't worry. I bought it with my own money," said Bronson. "I do have some, you know?"

  "Whatever." Xander groaned and headed for his room.

  Deryn stood and followed him. "Ruby, I wanted to ask you something," she said, shutting the door behind her.

  "Make it quick," he said, taking off his coat. "I'm supposed to meet Luka for a drink tonight."

  "Well, I haven't had much of a chance to use my Element since you gave it to me, and I was hoping to get some practice with it."

  "So practice." Xander dug through his drawers for some clean clothes.

  "I mean really practice, Ruby. Like, for a war."

  He stopped what he was doing and slowly looked over at her.

  "You told me before that the only people who live in this building are you, Bronson and Quigley. So I had Bronson go and check to see if it has a basement. It does, and he says it's pretty well-sized. He cleared the space and says it will be perfect for -"

  "No."

  Deryn huffed. "Why not?"

  "It's not safe for you to leave the apartment."

  "But it's not like I'll be leaving the building. I'm not going to be staying here forever, Ruby. I need to prepare!"

  "Just practice here."

  "There's not enough space! I can't fire a gun in your damn living room! Ruby, please. Will you just look at it?"

  Xander straightened up and crossed his arms. "Have you?"

  "Have I what?"

  "Have you looked at it?"

  "No, of course not," she said. "I was waiting for you."

  Xander knew instantly that she was telling the truth. It was impossible to miss lies in eyes like hers.

  "Fine. I'll look."

  Those same eyes immediately lit up. "Really?"

  "I just said it, didn't I?"

  "Yes. I just figured you would put up more of a fight."

  "I can if you'd like."

  "No, no! This is fine!" Deryn reopened the door. "Now?"

  Xander followed her to the front of the apartment.

  "He says he'll see it, Bronson!"

  "Excellent," said Bronson, standing up and heading towards the door.

  Xander went and put his shoes back on, then looked over at Deryn, who was watching him closely. "Is Quigley home?" he asked Bronson.

  "No. He's out with that broad."

  "Good." His eyes were still focused on Deryn. "You coming then?"

  She stared blankly for a few seconds, then nodded. She went to the closet, pulled out her tattered boots and slipped them on. Bronson stared down at them in disapproval.

  Xander opened the door and Bronson went out first. He then looked back at Deryn, who was staring hesitantly into the hallway.

  "Do you want me to hold your fucking hand or something?"

  Deryn bit her bottom lip. "I know you're being sarcastic but ..."

  Xander held out his hand. She stared at it for a moment before slipping hers into it, suddenly feeling the urge to interlace their fingers for the first time.

  Xander did not even flinch as she did this, squeezing her hand tightly and pulling her out the door. Bronson led the way to the basement and proudly showed them around the large space. It was dark and smelled a bit musty, but nothing that couldn't be fixed with a few air fresheners.

  Bronson watched carefully as the two of them walked around the basement, noticing how close Deryn always stood to Xander and that their hands never once became unclasped.

  "So what do you think?" asked Deryn once Xander had taken a good look around.

  "I can understand why this might be a better place to practice, but I really don't feel comfortable with you coming down here without me."

  "She'll be fine," said Bronson. "I'll look after her. And I'll make sure we only come down here when Quigley's not around."

  Xander eyed him curiously. "I don't get you. Why are you willing to sacrifice so much of your free time for someone you don't even know?"

  "Why are you?" retorted Bronson.

  Xander said nothing, but he did finally let go of Deryn's hand.

  "Look, Ruby, I want Saevus's rule to end just as much as you do. You know that. You're not the only one who hates him. You're just the only one who hates him while fucking working for him, not to mention housing refugees. Me wanting to help Deryn makes a hell of a lot more sense than you wanting to help her."

  Xander narrowed his eyes and said, "Fine. If this is what you want, Leon, then I can't stop you now, can I? We are both fully aware that if I say no you'll just go behind my fucking back and do it anyway."

  Deryn frowned. The thought had crossed her mind.

  "Just don't be stupid about it."

  "I won't.”

  "You better not," he said sternly. "Now, let's get the fuck out of here. I still have to change before I go out."

  Xander reached for her. Deryn took his hand again, letting him lead her out of the basement and back up the stairs. Bronson followed closely behind them, still staring at their interlaced hands with a captivated skepticism.

  Back in the apartment, Xander changed quickly and headed out the door without so much as a goodbye to Deryn. Bronson left at the same time, since he still had a late shift to get to. A side job he had cooking food at a bar.

  "Hey, Ruby."

  "What?" asked Xander, pulling out a cigarette and smoking it on his way down the stairs.

  "Why haven't you gotten Deryn any clothes?"

  "What?" he repeated, only with more irritation.

  "Well, all she seems to have is pajamas and sweaters of yours. And don't even get me started on those remnants of what I assume were once shoes."

  Xander grunted. "I don't really have time for this. Just tell me what you're getting at."

  "It's not fucking physics."

  "What isn't fucking phys -"

  "Buy-her-some-clothes! And shoes while you're at it!" Bronson reached his front door and opened it. "Make her feel like a person again!" He stepped inside and slammed the door.

  Xander stared at it, dumbfounded for a moment before continuing down the stairs. Somewhere between the second and first floor, he found himself getting angry and ended up hitting the wall. Why the hell did he never think of these things? It was so fucking obvious, but not once had it even crossed his mind to get her clothes.

  "Fuck!" Xander shook out his hand. He would be feeling that in the morning.

  When Xander got home later, he had his typical random female guest with him. After a quick go on his floor - since they couldn't even make it to the bed before she was plunging onto him - he used his usual tricks to get her out the door.

  Once that was done, he took a quick shower, grabbed his cigarettes and headed for Deryn's room. He walked right in.

  "Balcony, Leon," he said, the same way he always did.

  Only, this time he was not met with her usual rustling of sheets, but a whimper instead.

  "Leon?"

  Xander turned on the lights and stepped farther into the room. She was lying in the fetal position with the covers tangled around her. The small radio Bronson had given her was currently switched on and set on the nightstand.

  "Leon, what's wrong?"

  "Nothing," she said, shaking her head.

  Xander went over and sat on the bed beside her. "Obviously you're lying."

  "No, really, I'm fine. It's just ..." She looked at the radio and whimpered again. "The song."

  "What?"

  "I turned on the frequency my dad always used to broadcast messages to me and my brother, and there were voices. It was Talon and Dakota, and they spoke to me. They said my name and then they dedicated a song to me. Can you believe it?"

  Actually, he could. Xander had, of course, listened to the various radio stations before. Orders from the president to see if the Resistance would ever reveal Godfrey Leon's location by accident. They never did. But there was one station that was always active. On a loop every hour, with the voices of Talon and Dakota speaking to the girl they loved and dedicating a song to her. Always th
e same one.

  "It's an old song from our ancestors called Blackbird , and my favorite." She chuckled softly. "I've never appreciated its meaning so much before." With a heavy sigh, she looked at him and said, "I used to play it every night, and now it seems like they play it every hour. I know the message has to be old, but it was still so great to hear their voices."

  Unsure of what to say, Xander reached down and stroked his fingers through her hair. More tears poured down Deryn's cheeks as she moved her hand so it was on top of his.

  "Will you stay and listen with me? Just until their voices come on again."

  Xander nodded. He moved so he was lying down beside her, pulled her body tightly against his, and hugged her from behind while static emitted from the radio.

  And then the voices were there again, speaking to the girl they'd lost so many years ago.

  " Deryn, I love you ," said the voice of Dakota, making her tremble in Xander's arms. " I'll be waiting for you for as long as it takes, at our place."

  Then the song began.

  Then ended.

  Then static.

  But Xander didn't move. He knew the moment he lay down that he was not going to leave. He wanted to stay. And just knowing that was killing him inside.

  Chapter Sixteen

  "AHHH!"

  The old woman screamed in agony as Finley Scout whipped her with the a blue streak of light coming from her Element, her body writhing in unnatural shapes while everyone watched, cold and detached.

  "Where ..." Finley gulped. "Where was Deryn Leon going?"

  "I know nothing!" shouted the old woman. "I admitted to giving her the knife, but that's all I did!"

  Finley lowered her hand.

  "And even if I did know, I would never tell you!" she hissed. "That poor girl deserved her freedom!"

  "Hit her again, Ms. Scout," said a dark, male voice behind her.

  "But I don't think she's lying -"

  "I'm sorry, were you under the impression that someone asked you to think?" spat Elvira, stepping forward. "Do as your president says. Hit her again."

  Finley glanced sideways at Xander, who was propped on a windowsill while Luka leaned against the wall beside him. He gave her a shallow nod.

  Finley turned back to the woman, releasing a quiet sigh before whipping her again.