Leave Him Loved_Harloe Rae

by Rae, Harloe

  “Because he gives the best gifts. I told you that.” She points at herself with both thumbs.

  “He certainly does.” I can’t deny that. “Maybe we’ll all hang out again soon. Deal?”

  “M’kay. I’ll keep my fingers and toes crossed.”

  I hold up my own crossed fingers and give her a wink. “Have a nice weekend, Gabby.”

  “Bye, Miss Griffin.” She waves and skips toward the pickup line.

  With a thick exhale, I slouch against the wall and take a moment to collect my thoughts. Three weeks of daily crying sessions will drain a girl. The desire to text Reeve pounds into my bones with each breath. I’m not ready to face him, or the potential consequences that a conversation with him will bring. Glancing down at my shirt boosts my mood extremely effectively. These kids are too precious.

  I roll my shoulders and stride to the corner table, where a disaster of craft supplies waits. The mess is a decent distraction and gives me a monotonous task to get lost in. Just as I’m beginning to organize the markers, someone knocks on my door. For a moment, my heart spikes with the reminder of Reeve’s surprise visit not so long ago, but it won’t be him now.

  “Is this Miss Griffin’s classroom?”

  I turn with a squeal at the sound of Vannah’s voice. “No way! How are you here right now?”

  She flips a section of red waves behind her. “Girl, I knew you were sad as shit based on our nightly calls this week. I can manage a solo road trip to see my bestie in need.”

  I stumble across the carpet in my haste to reach her, scrubbing over my swollen eyes. “This is so unexpected. I already diluted my morning coffee from crying. Now I’m going to ruin happy hour beverages too.”

  Vannah beckons me into her arms, wrapping me in a tight hug. “If that’s the case, you look good. And don’t fret. We’ll order margaritas, and you can provide the salt.”

  “Thanks, Van.” I snuggle against her comfort for a hot second before pulling away. “Gah, you’re in my little town! This is the greatest surprise in… well, like twenty minutes. It’s been a heck of a day.”

  “Don’t I know it. You owe me for that snooze-fest commute. I crossed the border, and it’s all flat pastures and cornfields. Would it kill them to add some ambience?”

  “Welcome to Iowa.” I snicker. “The scenery grows on you. It’s surprising how fast I got used to it.”

  Her forehead pinches. “Oh, I have no intentions of sticking around long enough to find out.”

  I give her a nudge. “Such a city snob.”

  “Well aware, thanks.” She cups a palm around her mouth. “Are there any hot teachers left in the building?”

  A snort rolls out of me. “There weren’t any to begin with.”

  Her upper lip curls. “Well, that’s a huge bummer.”

  I shrug, inspecting my chipped nail polish. “The selection in town is decent, though.”

  “What are we waiting for? Let’s get going.” Vannah claps and does a little shimmy.

  My ringtone for Reeve begins playing from my back pocket. I turned my phone off silent just fifteen minutes ago, and already that song has played twice. The darn thing barely makes a peep until a certain someone knows my workday is done. It’s become a ritual of sorts. The man is relentless to a fault, which I should probably take as a compliment. He grinds down my resilience a little thinner with each sweet gesture.

  A loud groan interrupts the catchy tune. “My eardrums are bleeding. What the hell is that terrible excuse for music?”

  I shake my head at her exaggeration. “That would be ‘Big Green Tractor’ by Jason Aldean.”

  She scrunches her lips, looking like she has something foul in her mouth. “Wow, that’s… something else. Who’s the sorry soul assigned to that monstrosity?”

  “Reeve,” I whisper.

  “Oh, the devil himself.” Her eyes twinkle. “Are you going to answer?”

  I chomp on the inside of my cheek. “He’ll just leave me a voicemail.”

  “Is this an ongoing thing?”

  “As of late,” I confess. He assumes I want to hear his voice, the conceited smarty pants. I give myself an internal eye roll. I will never erase those groveling notes.

  Vannah nods. “I suppose this is why I’m here. Should we discuss him in conjunction with cocktails or after several rounds of tequila?”

  “Combo platter?” I’ll require all of the above to avoid more sniveling.

  She pats her torso. “You have all the best phrases to get my stomach rumbling. They better have a wicked appetizer menu where you’re taking me.”

  “Yeah, of course.” But my thoughts drift to the message Reeve is currently leaving. I can’t help wondering what he’s saying. My curiosity itches beneath my skin, needling me with each slight movement. The desperation to listen already gnaws at me.

  She draws her sigh out long enough for me to notice. “I’m gonna lose my bestie to the country, huh?”

  I crinkle my brow. “Why do you say that?”

  “The truth is literally staring at me. You might as well be wearing a neon sign.” She gestures at my features.

  “I don’t know,” I evade.

  “You do,” she prods.

  I suck air between my teeth. “Nothing is official yet.”

  Vannah pouts. “You’d stay even if you don’t patch things up with farmer boy?”

  With the subject set free, I feel the cinch around my chest loosen. “Yeah, I really love this town. Getting a job is a pretty important part of that decision, though.”

  “Then I’m happy for you.”

  I squint at her. “I figured you’d put up more of a fuss.”

  She glances at some random spot behind me. “Eh, who am I to argue with a case of the feels?”

  I only need a moment to peel away her top layer. “Did you meet someone?”

  “I meet a lot of people on the daily,” she hedges.

  “That’s not vague or anything.”

  “We’re not talking about me and my very bland dating life. Tell me about lover boy and why you’re playing hard to get.”

  “Real nice, Van. This isn’t my fault.” I pause at that tiny inaccuracy. “Well, not the majority of it. Reeve started the fight with a vengeance. He let me go. That’s telling enough.”

  “Stupid boy,” she mutters.

  I bob my head. “I’ll drink to that.”

  Vannah snaps her fingers. “Yes, girl. It’s going to be like the old days.”

  A huff escapes me. “As in last winter?”

  “Yep, when we obsessed over dumb guys. This is so familiar.”

  I allow that chain to link me back around. “Yeah, yet far more serious. Reeve started apologizing a day after the fact, but the damage was done. It’s taking time for me to get over that.”

  “He has to prove his feelings. I get it.”

  “Yes, exactly.” I tug at the loose braid dangling over my shoulder.

  “But it’s been three weeks,” she hints.

  “I’m well aware.”

  “You’re miserable, Auds. Why continue torturing yourself?”

  “Guilt? Anger? Stubborn pride? He was really mean, Van. I haven’t been brave enough, or emotionally secure enough, to hash things out with him again. Call me a wimp, and I’ll agree with you. Maybe I’m scared,” I admit.

  “Of him?” Her eyes blow open wide.

  I burst into a fit of laughter but sober when her expression becomes more stricken. “Oh, you’re serious. Absolutely not. Reeve is the opposite of threatening. I meant afraid in the sense of what that conversation will include and the outcome.”

  “Considering he’s calling enough that you send him straight to voicemail, I’d assume the outcome would be positive.”

  “I want to keep him.” I sound petulant.

  Vannah snorts. “Tell me something that’s not obvious.”

  “Do you think it’s possible?” I chew my bottom lip.

  She hikes a shoulder. “Why not?”

  �
�We’re too different?”

  She clucks her tongue. “That’s a stretch, seeing as you clearly fit right in here. Don’t create more problems for yourself. Do you love him?”

  My heart flutters at the word. That’s the real kicker. “Yes, very much.”

  “There you have it, Auds. Does he know how you feel?”

  “Maybe?”

  Vannah combs her fingers through her hair. “That’s a fantastic opening line for your reunion. After the makeup sex, of course.”

  I roll my eyes. “Of course.”

  “Why else would couples fight? The wild passion needs an outlet.” She wiggles her brows.

  “I guess,” I drawl.

  “You’ll see. He’s gonna nail you to the wall.” It sure sounds like she’s speaking from experience.

  A shiver courses through me—the first thrill I’ve experienced in weeks. “I haven’t talked to him yet. Let’s not get carried away.”

  Vannah waves that away. “You’ll be banging by sunset.”

  “That’s pretty optimistic.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll be delivering the bright side until Sunday morning. Speaking of, what are those?” She points to the vase on my desk.

  Heat crawls up my neck. “Oh, um, Reeve had them dropped off. They’re paper flowers with my favorite Friends quotes.”

  She lets her jaw hang open. “Wow, that’s really romantic.”

  I flick her arm. “Be strong, Vannah. He was a super-size dick to me.”

  “Hey, I’m not excusing what he did. Just making an observation.” She shrugs.

  My gaze automatically flits to the latest peace offering. I sobbed for a good twenty minutes while reading each petal earlier. Reeve’s groveling game is top-notch. I’m still swooning over the collage he made of our never-ever dates. After my moment of reminiscing, clarity slaps me upside the head. What the hell am I waiting for? “I miss him. A lot. He needs to be forgiven. I think he’s proven himself worthy of a phone call.”

  “At the very least.”

  “I have to figure out what I want to say,” I murmur while my pulse spikes. It’s been three weeks of silence on my end. A freaking dam is close to bursting inside of me.

  “It’ll just pour out of you. I can smell a fairy-tale ending.” She wafts air toward her nose and inhales deeply. “But first, you’re going to show me how to party in the country.”

  “Well, duh. But I’m still a rookie,” I warn. “A bar off Main Street serves shandy.”

  She spins her finger in a circle. “Pack up this pony show. We’re going drinking.”

  I do just that, hustling to my collection of bags. “A third will be joining our evening shenanigans, by the way. I already made plans with Bea before you showed up.”

  Vannah gasps. “Is she my replacement?”

  I snort. “As if anyone could replace your sexy ass.”

  She slaps her butt. “You’re right. Those squats are paying off. So, Bea? She better enjoy the sauce, or I’ll look like a drunk.”

  “You do a fine job of that all on your own.”

  She whoops loudly. “My feisty bitch is back, ladies and gents. It’s gonna be a wild night.”

  A text notification beeps from my pocket, interrupting us. I contemplate ignoring his words, but I’m a weak woman. Plus, Vannah’s expectant expression weakens my resolve.

  Farmer: I hope your last day of second grade was better as an adult. Graduating to third can be an uphill battle. You’re just showing off by advancing straight to fifth. Gabby is plotting on how to skip ahead so you’ll still be her teacher. She even tried to meet with the principal. I wonder where she gets that tenacity from. ☺ Cheers to the weekend, babe.

  “You best respond, or I will for you.” She hovers close enough to read the message.

  “I’m doing it,” I grumble. My fingers twitch with possibilities.

  “Also, that nickname is stupid cute.”

  “Right?” I giggle before thinking better of it. “I mean, it fits him well.”

  “No need to explain your terms of endearment to me. Quit stalling.”

  Me: Hey. Just wanted to say thanks for the bouquet… and everything else you’ve given me. We should talk. How does tomorrow afternoon sound?

  His reply isn’t instant, but damn close. The vibration snaps my attention to the screen mere seconds after I glance away.

  Farmer: Sounds like the perfect date.

  I huff and roll my eyes, but I feel a smile brewing. Maybe I won’t have to miss him for much longer.

  The sliding door whizzes shut behind me as I stumble to a stop. As if a beacon flares in my chest, I home in on the supple curves molded inside a tight pair of jeans. Those hips sway to a beat that resides in her bubbly spirit. If I strain hard enough, I can note the sultry tune. It’s similar to her giggle that morphs into a moan as I roll us across the sheets.

  I’m just swinging by Valley Market for a refill on frozen meals, but my plans seem to take a detour to far more delicious options. I feel little shock in that regard where this girl is concerned. Since ramming me with that shopping cart, Audria Griffin has derailed my predictable route.

  She’s mere feet away, unaware of my presence. Is this fate tempting me? It’s impossible not to take the hook. I’m intimately aware of how soft her skin feels against mine, the way her hair tickles my cheek when I lean in for a kiss. Faint laugh lines appear whenever she smiles on the right side of wide. I can trace that happiness from memory. Her voice speaks directly to my soul. The all-consuming need to hear her soothing tone propels me forward without further hesitation.

  I inch closer at a pace that puts snails to shame. Numerous strategies balance with potential outcomes, the combinations looping through my mind. She finally answered me, so approaching her prior to our scheduled reunion might be a really stupid move. Patching this destruction I caused takes precedence. I can’t walk away or chance my luck. I don’t need to learn the lesson of not looking a gift horse in the mouth a second time.

  Distracted by a display of dill pickle chips, Audria’s face is averted, showcasing her stunning profile. She doesn’t pay attention to who’s in her path. I’m already smiling when the front of her cart bumps into me.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she starts, slamming to a halt. Her eyes bug wide at the sight of who exactly she hit. Those pouty lips seem to form a slew of words before settling on just one. “Reeve.”

  I sidestep her cart, gripping onto the top edge. “This is unexpected.”

  The shock melts off Audria’s features, replaced with a serene sort of relief. She quirks a brow. “Is it?”

  “Maybe not. I’ve come to realize not all plans go accordingly.”

  “Especially for us,” she murmurs. “Does your new Friday-afternoon routine involve blocking people’s paths in the supermarket?”

  “Just the one I want to be mine.” The urge to wrap her in my arms strains every fiber of my being. “You’re so beautiful.”

  Her gaze skitters to the ground. “Thanks.”

  That quiet, almost meek, pitch is my fault. I cracked her trust in me. Fixing this gap separating us is my sole purpose at the moment. “I’m so damn sorry, Audria.”

  She nods, slow and easy. “I got that message. Everything you did and sent spelled it out pretty clear.”

  I gulp at the wedge in my throat. “Can we start over?”

  A crease forms between her brows. “What do you mean?”

  I exhale, heavy and thick, as I rock back on my heels. Mincing words isn’t one of my specialties. “This was never going to end well with how we set it up. I broke the rules almost immediately.”

  Audria shrugs. “That’s on both of us. I’m the one who suggested pulling the plug if feelings got involved. We… uh, I didn’t follow that.”

  That confession spreads a velvet balm over my neglected wounds. This is going smoother than the organized chaos I’d mapped out in my mind. “Maybe so, but you don’t get any of the blame. Looking back, I shouldn’t have agreed to thos
e terms to begin with. I had no feasible way to resist falling for you, not that I wanted to avoid that graceful tumble. I didn’t expect you, and that’s been the greatest surprise of all. What was supposed to be simple fun just for a short while quickly changed course. We were more from the start. Not getting attached is impossible with our explosive chemistry, right? Ever since you crashed into me.”

  Audria’s eyes turn into glassy pools. She blinks at the collecting moisture. “It was a pretty silly idea.”

  I shuffle toward her. “Only the parts about us being strictly temporary and friends with benefits.”

  “Oh?”

  “Will you go somewhere with me?” I expect her to refuse. In preparation, I already have a rebuttal on my lips.

  “That depends,” she murmurs. That she’s even considering it lifts a chunk of concrete off my chest.

  Taking the bait requires zero thought. “On?”

  “The terms.”

  “Just to talk. No strings.” Those will be added on later, if all goes well.

  Audria curls a lock of golden strands around her finger. “I happen to be a fan of strings and certain farmers.”

  “Thank Christ for that. I can’t stand the idea of you being pissed at me for a minute, let alone months or however long it takes.”

  “Staying away from you has been very challenging,” she admits.

  I smirk. “You didn’t have to wait so long.”

  Her sigh twists a knot in my gut. “I’ve been pretty upset. You really hurt me, Reeve. I needed time to think about what the future holds and how to move forward, with or without you. I felt a lot of frustration and uncertainty.”

  That’s a mixed bag. I choose to focus on the positive. “Past tense?”

  She teeters her hand. “It’s in progress.”

  “That’s better than I deserve. I jumped to conclusions. We should’ve discussed options together, as a couple.”

  “You think?” Snark tinges Audria’s tone, but her smile is soft around the edges.

  To stop myself from reaching for her, I yank at the roots of my hair. “I’m a mess without you, and that’s not including the disaster my room at the bunkhouse has turned into. The guys complained enough that Harry is on my ass. Imagine how bad it must be for a group of slobs to tell the boss I’m slacking on cleaning.”