Merv Griffin- A Life in the Closet

by Darwin Porter

  “I knew what Merv was doing,” Freddy later said. “Merv was desperately trying to establish his credentials as a straight boy. There had been too much talk in the other direction. Dating Judy was a career move on his part. Throughout the rest of his life he'd have some gal on his arm. Since I didn't think Merv and Judy would be making the bedsprings squeak at night, I allowed her to travel with us.”

  More publicity pinups:

  Boy singer Merv

  As was obvious to the boys in the band, Judy was far more entranced by Merv than he was with her. Even so, their so-called romantic fling set off alarms in Barney, who referred to Merv as “that Irish Catholic son of a whore.”

  To break up their romance, he dispatched the famous New York show business columnist, Leonard Lyons, to see Merv and talk him out of dating Judy. Following strict instructions from Barney, Lyons met with Merv in New York, making his pitch that religious differences between Judy and Merv would doom a potential relationship and most definitely would “ruin” a marriage.

  When Merv refused to listen to that line of reasoning, Lyons got tougher. “Barney knows a lot about you, Griffin. You wouldn't want me to publish some of what we know in my column. It's read by everybody in show business. It could destroy your promising career.”

  “Get out!” Merv ordered Lyons. He was furious that Barney would send the columnist to threaten him. If anything, it made him more determined than ever to stay with Judy. There was a rebellious streak in him, and he even began to seriously consider marriage.

  However, Roddy warned him against it, pointing out that Lyons would not come out and say he was a homosexual in print, but could make veiled references. He cited several instances where Cary Grant was “outed” by columnists in the 1930s, long before that term was invented.

  Merv felt that once he was safely married to Judy, rumors about his homosexuality would be laid to rest. Judy was in Los Angeles when he called her and asked her to fly to Las Vegas where he was booked into The Last Frontier. He promised her that at the end of his engagement there, he'd marry her in one of the local chapels.

  Somehow Dorothy Kilgallen learned of this marriage proposal and broke the news in her column. Barney was traveling in Paris with his wife when the column appeared, and he canceled his vacation, flying home at once to prevent the marriage of his daughter to Merv.

  When Judy went to the studio cashier at Paramount in Hollywood, the woman in charge refused to issue her a ticket to Las Vegas or to give Judy any spending money. “I'm sorry, Miss Balaban, but I have my instructions. No ticket, no money.”

  Ferociously protective father,

  Merv-hater,

  and president of Paramount

  Pictures :

  Barney Balaban

  After his appearance in Las Vegas, Merv flew to Los Angeles to meet with Judy. He learned that her parents were en route to the West Coast for a showdown. Kilgallen continued to run several items in her column about their upcoming marriage, and about how it did not have parental approval. Merv later recalled that “Kilgallen treat- ed the event like a scenario for a spy movement, tracking our movements from coast to coast.”

  A singing engagement caused Merv to fly at once to New York where Judy promised to join him soon. Without Merv, she confronted her parents who threatened to disinherit her. Still claiming that she was in love with Merv, she borrowed the money from a friend and flew to New York to join him.

  But after only a few weeks there, reality set in. Perhaps she realized that Merv wasn't really in love with her, but wanted to use her for some welcome boy/girl publicity.

  At the time, Merv's agent was an ambitious young man named Jay Kanter. Astonishingly, Jay functioned at various points of his career as the agent for Marilyn Monroe, Grace Kelly, and Marlon Brando as well. One night over dinner at a restaurant in Little Italy, Merv introduced Judy to Jay. It was love at first sight. Within the week, Jay, with Merv's approval, began dating Judy. Merv had already told Jay that, “I'm not ready for marriage,” And in a phone call to Roddy in Hollywood, Merv told him, “My affair with Judy was the romance that never was.”

  At the marriage ceremony for Judy Balaban and Jay Kanter in 1953 Marlon Brando was best man, and Rosemary Clooney, the singer, was one of the bridesmaids. Clooney would go on to become one of Merv's closest women friends. Judy's marriage to Kanter would produce two children and end in 1961, the same year she went on to marry actor Tony Franciosa. In 1956, Judy was famously associated with Princess Grace of Monaco, when she served as one of her bridesmaids during her marriage ceremony to Prince Rainier of Monaco.

  ***

  Back on the West Coast for a return engagement at the Cocoanut Grove, Merv discovered that he had had a loyal devotee of his singing long before he ever had a fan club.

  It was the eccentric and elusive billionaire, Howard Hughes.

  Before Merv actually met him, he'd read all the magazine stories and heard all the rumors going around Hollywood. Some of the aviator's story was known to the world, including how he became the richest teenager in America upon the death of his father. His exploits in aviation, including an around-theworld flight, had been highly publicized, as was his attempt to build his controversial “Spruce Goose,” one of the great airline development failures of World War II.

  His romances with such screen beauty queens as Billie Dove and Lana Turner were fodder for the fan magazines. Although he was believed to have actually gone to bed with Ginger Rogers, Merv had heard that his celebrated romance with Katharine Hepburn was more for public consumption than the boudoir. Rumor had it that she was “mostly dyke” anyway.

  After her affair with Howard in the late 1930s, Bette Davis had spread malicious gossip about him, strongly suggesting that he was more homosexual than heterosexual. Gossip had it that on the set of his most notorious film, The Outlaw, Howard had pursued Jack Buetel, who played Billy the Kid, instead of busty Jane Russell.

  Howard was known to stash a bevy of hopeful starlets in various apartments in Hollywood, promising each of them future stardom at RKO. But, or so it was said, he never got around to seducing most of them, although he paraded them out for public viewing at such clubs as the Cocoanut Grove. These women were trivialized as “arm candy,” and Merv would later use Howard as a role model when he, too, arrived at public gatherings with a glamorous woman on his arm, most visibly Eva Gabor during his later life.

  Every night at the Grove, Howard brought a different woman. Sometimes they were famous, including Jane Greer, but most of the time these young aspirant actresses were starlets destined never to find stardom. Many of them eventually became housewives, the highlight of their lives being their dates with Howard.

  “He was a creature of habit,” Merv later said. “During my entire engagement, I could always count on his being in the audience except for that rare night when he failed to show up. You'd think that a bigwig like Howard would have better things to do in life than listen to me sing. The waiters told me he always ordered the same thing, a big dish of vanilla ice cream. But not any ice cream. Howard didn't like the vanilla served at the Ambassador. So he sent over shipments of some ice cream he'd discovered so it would be available to him. He was also obsessive in his music tastes. Every night he requested the same song from me. Arhumba I sang in Greek called ‘Miserlou.’”

  Wealthiest Man, Most Beautiful

  Woman: Howard Hughes

  with Ava Gardner

  Merv dutifully sang that song night after night, directing it toward Howard. For his kindness, Howard slipped him a one-hundred dollar bill every night. “This surprised me because Howard was not known as a big tipper, at least among the waiters who always complained about their gratuity. When Saturday night came around, I had made more from Howard's tips than Freddy Martin paid me for the whole week.”

  Other than requesting that one song, Howard had nothing to say to Merv and never invited him to table as did other big stars such as Clark Gable. That was why Merv was surprised when a waiter came to
his dressing room one night with an invitation from Howard to join him and a lady friend at table.

  “Apparently, Howard had heard that I was star-struck, and he wanted to thank me for singing all those ‘Miserlous.’After my performance, I hightailed it to his table. There sat the very luscious and very drunk Ava Gardner. Other than Elizabeth Taylor, she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. I could only imagine how great she looked when sober. Howard didn't have much to say, but Ava not only drank a lot but talked like a drunken sailor. She was the most vulgar woman I'd ever met, but utterly fascinating.”

  Seated at table with Howard, with Ava between them, Merv sensed at once that the battling pair had just had a big fight, perhaps moments before his arrival. At the time of his meeting with them, they were already famous for their feuds, many of their explosive arguments turning violent. The musician, Artie Shaw, Ava's former husband, had told Freddy Martin that, “Hughes regularly beats the shit out of Ava, and that bitch has sent our aviator friend to the hospital on more than one occasion.”

  Turning her back to Howard,Ava took Merv's hand and stared deeply into his eyes in her most seductive manner. “Howard here thinks he can buy me, but I ain't for sale, sugartit. He even offered Elizabeth Taylor a million dollars in gems, and still she said no. Liz and I are the only cunts in Hollywood who can't be bought. I'm more tantalized by the size of a man's cock than I am by the size of his bank account. Surely you agree.”

  “I wouldn't know, Miss Gardner,” he said, startled at her bluntness. “I like girls. As for cock sizes, I don't think I've ever got around to measuring my own.”

  “Don't worry,” she said, “I'll do it for you some night. So sorry if I offended you. But one of the boys in Freddy's band told me that you'd had him before I got around to him.”

  “Well, he lied!” Merv said, offended by her accusation. “Hollywood is known for its unfounded gossip. Isn't that how Hedda Hopper and Louella Parsons make their living?”

  “Suit yourself, little darling,” she said. “But you can ask your friend, Roddy McDowall. He'll tell you I'm very understanding about such matters. Even with Howard here.” She turned and looked rather disdainfully at her host. “Howard may be my date for tonight, but you've got to understand that appearances are meaningless in Hollywood. He'll take me home and get rewarded with a kiss on the cheek—that's it. For all I know, morning will find him waking up in bed with Tyrone Power.”

  Howard sat in stony silence listening to her drunken tirade.

  Since Ava had been provocative with him, Merv uncharacteristically decided to strike back. “If you care so little for Mr. Hughes, why do you date him?”

  “Good question, honey chile. He makes life easy for me. If I want to go to Mexico, a plane is waiting. If I need a first-class seat to New York at the last minute, one suddenly becomes available, even if Howard has to bump Cary Grant. Speaking of Cary, dear Howard has ‘bumped’ him a lot.”

  Not surprisingly, she'd hit a delicate nerve in Howard. He became furious. In a voice dripping with sarcasm, he said, “Ava, would you shut your fucking mouth? You're a lush. If you keep on drinking, what beauty you now have will be gone in three years. Then you'll be just another broken-down old alcoholic broad, a has-been. The Hollywood Hills are full of them, talking about how big they were in 1933. When all you pussies are faded celluloid memories, the world will still be talking about Howard Hughes.”

  “Yeah!” she said with utter contempt, her face flashing her fury. “They'll be talking all right. They'll mock you for being eccentric. Read that crazy.” Diverting her eyes momentarily to Merv, she said, “Know something, kid. The real reason I don't go to bed with Long John here is that Lana Turner told me he gave her syphilis.” She suddenly stood up and reached for her drink. Impulsively she tossed it in Howard's face.

  She stormed out of the nightclub, as a waiter rushed with a white napkin to help dry Howard off, but he shooed him away. Flabbergasted, Merv sat there, not knowing what to do. He wanted to flee to his dressing room, but Howard signaled for him to remain seated.

  Without bothering to wipe his alcoholic-soaked face, he turned to Merv. “Pat DiCicco, Errol Flynn, and I are going to play a game of tennis tomorrow morning before it gets too hot. I've played with your Uncle Elmer. He's good. I hear you play well, too. Why not team up with me to stand off Pat and Errol? How about it? Give me your phone number. I'll call you in the morning about picking you up here at the hotel.”

  At first Merv couldn't believe that Howard would pick him as a tennis partner. “I'd be honored. But I must warn you: I'm not as good as my uncle.”

  “Neither am I.”Without another word, Howard stood up and left the table. Within a minute, he was back. Please come with me,” he urged Merv. “I need to go to the men's room to clean up. But the door is shut, and I never touch doorknobs. Too many germs.”

  “Gladly, Mr. Hughes.”

  ***

  On the tennis court that Sunday morning, Howard was growing impatient. Along with Merv and Pat DiCicco, he'd already waited forty-five minutes for that swashbuckler, Errol Flynn, to show up. Not a man to waste time, Howard made telephone calls to his staff. In those days if you worked for Howard, you had to make yourself available to receive his calls, not just on Sunday morning, but at three o'clock on any other morning as well.

  Merv didn't mind the wait, as he was intrigued by the handsome but notorious Pat DiCicco, who was always appearing in the gossip columns involved in one scandal after another. With a suntan and in his tennis whites, Pat dazzled him. He would later confide to Roddy that, “Pat has the world's most beautiful legs, far better than Betty Grable's, at least for my taste.”

  Most tennis shorts in those days were loose fitting, but not Pat's. They were so tightly tailored that they revealed what looked like an ample endowment. Merv kept glancing at Pat's package. Once Pat caught him, but only smiled his approval. He scooted down on the bench, as his shorts rode higher, giving Merv an even better view. “In my business, it pays to advertise,” Pat said. Merv wasn't sure exactly what business Pat was engaged in, and he pondered the nature of Pat's relationship with the mysterious Howard Hughes.

  Several times that morning, Pat had called Howard “Lambie,” which seemed to be his nickname for the aviator. Merv couldn't imagine a less appropriate name for Howard.

  Pat had been famously married—first to actress Thelma Todd in 1932 and later to the heiress Gloria Vanderbilt in 1941. Both women had been former girlfriends of Howard. The oily Egyptian actor, Alexander d'Arcy, had once said, “Pat would fuck a rattlesnake if he thought it would advance his career.” That pronouncement had spread among the gossips of Hollywood.

  Pat's first wife, Thelma Todd, had died mysteriously on December 16, 1935, a year after her divorce from Pat, when she was discovered in a car parked in a garage. It was ruled at the time by the then-notoriously corrupt Los Angeles District Attorney's office that she'd committed suicide, dying of carbon monoxide poisoning. Merv had heard that the mob had ordered her murdered, and that Pat somehow was involved. But instead of making Pat a sinister figure to Merv, the notoriety made him all the more appealing.

  Gigolo, stud, and

  ace tennis player

  Pat DiCicco

  Finally a hung-over Errol arrived at the tennis courts. Even though worse for wear, he still looked dashingly handsome, though not as much so as when Merv had first met him in the 1930s at his Uncle Elmer's. At first Merv wasn't sure if the star would remember him, as there had been a long line of young boys and girls in Errol's life since their adventure. Merv had been young and pudgy when he'd first encountered Errol lying naked in his uncle's living room. Merv's appearance had changed drastically since then.

  Errol came right up to Merv and kissed him on both cheeks. “You're looking great, pal,” he said. “Trimmed down, I see. I'll be at the Grove next week to catch your act.” As he turned to see Howard approaching the court, Errol hugged Pat, also kissing him on both cheeks. “C'mon, mate,” he said to
Pat, “let's beat hell out of these two fairies.” He winked at Merv to indicate that he was only joking.

  Maybe Errol was still drunk from the night before, but he lost the game for his team. Merv and Howard easily beat Errol and Pat. Howard seemed elated, inviting them for a plane ride that afternoon to Catalina Island.

  On the way to the showers, Errol whispered to Merv, “Pat and I deliberately let him win. If Howard loses, he's furious for the rest of the day. He'd get back at us for winning, so we never win. Got that, sport?”

  There were six shower booths with moldy plastic curtains. Still shy about nudity, Merv stripped off his tennis whites and took the first shower where he began soaping himself. He was about two minutes into his hot shower, when the curtain was pulled back. There stood Errol Flynn as nude as the first day Merv had met him. His body was not as lean and lithe as Merv had remembered, it, but he was still matinee handsome and seductively attractive.

  “If I remember correctly what you like—and I do—I want you to know that here I am,” Errol said. He stepped inside Merv's shower booth and placed a firm hand on the back of Merv's neck. Merv seemed to follow the command of that hand, finding himself on his knees on the floor of that still-running shower, servicing Errol as he'd done as a kid. “You've improved,” Errol said, offering encouragement. “You must have been practicing.”

  Errol must have had a lot to drink the night before, because it took him a long time to climax. As Merv was getting to his feet and Errol was soaping himself, the shower curtain opened again. A nude Pat DiCicco stood there. “You may have seen him first, but I'm next!”

  Before Rainier and the

  French connection:

  Grace Kelly with

  Bing Crosby

  On the plane ride to Catalina, Howard honored Merv by letting him sit up front with him, while Errol and Pat occupied the seats in the rear. For the duration of the flight, Merv thought about only two things—the delectable taste of Pat DiCicco's cock, which he actually preferred to that of his former idol, Errol Flynn, and his chance meeting with Bing Crosby.