Rise Again

by L. J. Hamlin

  "No, I'm not old. I hurt my knee, and kind of like your grandpa, it made it weak, so the stick helps me walk without falling over again," Arkady replies.

  "Does it hurt?" Mandy asks.

  "Sometimes. But the doctor gave me medicine, like when you have a sore throat. And I see a really nice lady who helps me do exercises so I can get stronger and hurt less." Arkady smiles, thinking of Prisha. He really needs to thank her for setting him up with Cade. He never pictured it going so well when he agreed to see Cade for coffee.

  "Okay, I'm gonna go back to my cookie now. I hope you don't hurt too bad," Mandy says with a beautiful smile.

  "Enjoy your cookie, and have a nice day." Arkady smiles back and watches as Mandy skips away back to her mom's table and takes a seat, happily picking up a cookie.

  Arkady looks back and notices Cade watching him with a faint smile.

  "What?" Arkady asks.

  "You're good with kids. It's cute. Do you have much to do with children?" Cade asks.

  "I like kids. Whenever I used to walk Lou, kids would always come over with questions and wanting to pet him and stuff." Arkady shrugs.

  "You're patient. Have you ever thought about teaching?" Cade asks, biting his pickle.

  "What, like my parents?" Arkady can't imagine himself in a classroom, but he does need to start thinking about what he wants to do. He has money, but he'll go crazy if he has nothing to do for the rest of his life.

  "No, like a dance teacher," Cade says softly.

  "But I can't dance." Arkady feels like there's a lump in his throat as he says the words, like it's trying to stop him saying it, but he knows he needs to get used to it.

  "Would you need to be able to do everything? Especially with kids? They wouldn't be doing lifts and stuff like that. You said you were doing well in therapy. Tell me if it's none of my business, but I think having dance in your life in some way would make you happy." Cade hasn't known him long, but his words prove what Arkady feels: Cade knows him well. He listens to what Arkady says—and sometimes the things he doesn't say.

  "Dance did make me happy, so happy all my life. I would love to have it back. I'd have to look into it, what sorts of things are taught in classes these days and how reaching differs from being a student if I'd be able to do it, and what I'd need to get a job as a teacher," Arkady says thoughtfully.

  "But you like the idea?" Cade asks, eating a fry.

  "I love the idea. I don't know why I didn't think of it. It's just when the doctor said I couldn't dance anymore, I thought I had to give up everything to do with dance. I haven't even been really talking to other dancers I used to know. And I'm awkward around Jason, my old boss, when he checks on me. It hurt, the reminder of my old life, but what if dance could be a part of my new life?" Arkady can actually feel excitement building. Since his accident, the only thing he's been excited about has been Cade.

  "I don't see why not. You like kids, you love dance: why not teach kids to dance?" Cade smiles.

  "I'm going to be doing a lot of googling when I get back to my parents' place. You're a genius." Arkady leans across the table and gives Cade a quick perk of a kiss on his lips.

  "You'd have thought of it eventually," Cade says, blushing.

  "Maybe, maybe not. I'm glad you had the idea." Arkady smiles, and they go back to eating and chatting. They finish their food and order another coffee, Arkady not ready to leave Cade's company.

  "I was wondering. I have a small show at my gallery next week. Would you like to come, as my date?" Cade asks.

  "I'd love that. I'd love to see some of your art, and I want to see your gallery. It sounds amazing. And I wouldn't say no to another date," Arkady replies.

  "One small catch." Cade doesn't look too grim, so Arkady isn't too worried about the catch.

  "What is it?" Arkady asks.

  "My parents will be there. I wasn't sure if you would be cool with meeting them. I know it's kind of rushed. If we include the hospital, this would be our third date, and I'm already bringing up meeting the parents." Cade looks worried but hopeful.

  "You've met my parents already, so it only seems fair that I meet yours," Arkady says, trying to mask his nerves.

  "They know I've met someone, and I've told them a little about you. I was cautiously optimistic after our first meeting." Cade smiles.

  "You, em, earlier said they were Jewish. Will they be upset that you're not seeing a Jewish man? Hell, are they comfortable with you dating a man?" Arkady frowns.

  "They're used to me dating men. I think they'd rather I bring a women home, but they're over it. The Temple they belong to is progressive. They keep trying to encourage me to go with them. I'm not against their religion, but I don't know. I just don't have their faith." Cade shrugs.

  "So, they won't disapprove of me on principle?" Arkady wants to be sure. He doesn't want to meet Cade's parents if he knows they already plan to hate him because he's sure it would push him and Cade apart, and he very much doesn't want that.

  "No, they're excited to meet you. They can tell I'm impressed by you, so they're intrigued," Cade says, sipping his coffee.

  "You're impressed by me?" Arkady smiles.

  "Very." Cade grins.

  Arkady picks up his coffee, using it to hide the expression on his face, which he's sure is so pleased it's dopy.

  Chapter Eight

  "You seem nervous," Vsevolod says when Arkady checks his watch for the third time in as many minutes. He's sitting with his father in the front lounge, waiting for the car service Cade had ordered to arrive.

  "Maybe I am," Arkady half admits, adjusting the sleeve of his suit jacket. When Cade had told him it was a black tie event, Arkady had been glad he already owned a few suits and had brought one with him to his parents' house. It was his favorite, a modern, sleek black suit with a crisp white shirt.

  "You've been to events like this before," Vsevolod replies, which is true. He was invited to important things weekly when he was dancing, but this is the first event he has been too since his accident, since he started using his stick to help him walk.

  "Cade's parents will be there. I want to make a good impression." Arkady sighs. He's not used to this—the nerves, the meeting the parents stage.

  He's been texting with Cade all week and talked with him on the phone every other day. He knows Cade likes him, but he's worried if Cade's parents don't like him that it will affect their relationship.

  "They have no reason not to like you. Your mother and I raised you well. You're a charming young man. They should be glad you have chosen their son," Vsevolod says firmly, and Arkady smiles faintly.

  "They sound like nice people. And they had a kid that turned out like Cade, so you'd think they wouldn't be awful. He's a good guy," Arkady says, checking his watch again.

  "You're very taken with this Cade, aren't you? I saw how you looked at him at the hospital. And you smile like a love-struck teenager whenever he sends you a message on your phone." Vsevolod actually chuckles, surprising Arkady. His parents have been a little different since he came home from when he used to live here, and they'd mentioned in passing that they'd been talking to a therapist.

  Arkady had been worried his parents were having marital difficulties, and that they might divorce, but there seems to be no sign of that. They seem closer than ever.

  "He makes me happy. Being with him doesn't fix everything. I'm still in pain. I still can't dance, but he understands how that makes me feel. He knows I have bad days. He knows I get low, and he isn't scared away by any of that. He doesn't seem to want me to be perfect. He seems to like me as I am. It's nice," Arkady says.

  "I have never seen you like this about another person before. When you were a teen and living under our roof, you let us know who you were dating, but since you left, you've kept your romantic life a secret. I often worried it was because you thought your mother and I disapproved," Vsevolod says softly.

  "You've always been great about me being gay. It wasn't that. There was just no one
serious, no reason to talk about them." Arkady shrugs.

  "Well I'm glad Cade makes you happy, and that you let us meet him, even though I don't think you planned to," Vsevolod says gently, and Arkady nods. He doesn't want to talk about how he'd ended up in the hospital for the second time this year.

  Arkady changes the subject to wondering what Cade's art will be like, since Cade has said his new stuff is different. His dad seems happy to discuss art, and does so until the car arrives to pick Arkady up. Arkady makes small talk with the driver on the way to the gallery. The guy doesn't ask about Arkady's stick, but does ask what he does for a living.

  For the first time, Arkady's happy to say he's using his training. He's enrolled in a teaching class to qualify to become a private dance instructor. He might fail, but he's trying. Work was always important to Arkady. He'd been working most of his life, so to be back in education, aiming towards being employed again, feels good.

  Arkady feels like he's making progress. He hasn't even been to his first class yet, but he's enrolled, and he made the decision to try. The people in charge of the program he's signed up for say all the training he's had, the experience, is invaluable, that if he can qualify as an instructor, pass health and safety tests, things like that, he'll make a great teacher.

  Arkady gets out at the gallery and texts Cade before getting into line with the other people waiting to go inside, just to let Cade know he's there, but moments later Cade appears.

  "Come this way. You're my guest. You don't have to wait and sign in," Cade says, and he offers Arkady his hand.

  Cade looks good. He's in a black suit and white shirt, like Arkady, but his tie is a deep red instead of black. He looks sophisticated and comfortable, and Arkady can't help smiling as he takes Cade's hand and lets himself be led forward. Cade doesn't rush him, letting Arkady set the pace with his stick.

  People look at them as they're let through the doors, and Arkady knows most are probably looking at Cade because they know Cade is the main artist showing his things tonight. But Arkady knows some will be looking at them both, judging them as a couple. Arkady doesn't want to let Cade down or to make him look bad, and he hopes no one asks about his stick or why he limps slightly. He doesn't want to get in a fight.

  "So, are you nervous about showing your art?" Arkady asks as they walk a hallway that Cade has told him leads to the main gallery.

  "Always, no matter how many times I do it, if I'm showing one piece or a dozen. I'm always convinced everyone will hate it. And it doesn't even end tonight. There are reporters here. They'll be publishing stories on art blogs, maybe even the art section in the paper. I'll be on edge for a while," Cade replies.

  Arkady looks around, and seeing that they're alone, he stops them in the hall, moving so he's face to face with Cade, close enough to feel Cade's warmth without messing up his suit.

  "What's wrong?" Cade asks.

  "Nothing. I just wanted to wish you luck. You're going to do great. I know you are," Arkady says, and on impulse, he kisses Cade on his cheek. He wants to kiss Cade, to show affection, but he's worried that if he presses his lips to Cade's things will get heated, and now is not the time or place.

  "You haven't even seen my art yet," Cade replies. He always has notebooks or papers with him, but he never shows Arkady, and Arkady hasn't wanted to press.

  "Yeah, but you made it, so of course it'll rock," Arkady says with feeling. He steps back from Cade when he hears a door open and the click of heels. When Cade looks up, he's smiling.

  "You're about to meet my mom," Cade says quietly, and Arkady turns and spots a beautiful middle-aged woman in a green dress coming toward them.

  She has chestnut-brown hair, done up in an elegant bun. She has the same dark eyes and tanned, golden brown skin as Cade does. She walks up to them, smiling. Her makeup is subtle but perfect. She looks so well put together, and Arkady's glad he's meeting her in a suit.

  "Mom, meet Arkady Alkaev. Arkady, meet my mother, Abby Bassin." Cade introduces them both with a smile, and his smile is the same as his mother's, the same shape, only her lips are a little fuller.

  "Hello, Arkady. I've heard a lot about you. So nice to meet you." Abby smiles, and it sounds like she means her words.

  "It's good to meet you, too."

  "You better get back inside, Cade. People are looking for you. A photographer wants your picture," Abby says.

  "Okay, let's go," Cade says happily, and they walk the rest of the way down the hall where Abby had come from. The doors open into a busy room, lots of people in fancy clothes, drinking champagne, wandering around, looking at incredible art.

  "I'll let you show Arkady around a little while I track down the photographer." Abby touches Cade's arm gently and heads off into the room.

  "She has her own clothing store, but she helps out as my sort of unofficial manager and publicist. I can't imagine anyone else doing it," Cade says, smiling.

  "That's cool. Good to have someone who cares about you doing that kind of thing." Arkady can't help but think of Thomas, whom he hasn't heard from since the hospital, and he doesn't plan to change that.

  "She's the best. Uh, do you want to see some of my stuff?" Cade asks, sounding suddenly shy, a slight blush on his cheeks.

  "Of course. I've been looking forward to seeing your art in person since I got to know you. It's like, I know you put a lot of yourself into your art, so it'll be cool to see how your passion comes out on a canvas," Arkady says.

  "Okay then, I'll start with my favorite. Hopefully if I like it, you will." Cade lets go of Arkady's hand, but stays close, leading the way over to a far wall.

  There's a large canvas on the wall, with what at first looks like a tree twisting over the page, but then Arkady looks and sees human limbs amongst those of the tree, roots growing out from the man's feet, down into the earth, the arms above the figure's head among the branches, wrapped in vines, and there are beautiful cherry blossoms blooming over the man's body, splashes of bright color when most the painting is in black and grey shade. It's beautiful, and Arkady realizes he's been staring, not saying a word, for quite some time.

  "It's beautiful. What's it called?" Arkady asks, still taking in all the details. Cade's obviously very talented. The man in the tree looks real, his face serene, peaceful. The tree looks alive, the flowers real.

  "It's called rebirth. Do you really like it?" Cade looks pleased but nervous still.

  "I love it. You're really skilled. I knew you had to be, having your own gallery, but this is more than I imagined. You're amazing," Arkady replies.

  "Really?" Cade smiles.

  "Yes. Show me more?"

  "Okay." Cade takes him from painting to painting, telling him their names and a little about each piece, stuff like how long it took him, the music he listened to, what it means to him, and Arkady feels like he's learning more about Cade through his art. Cade's passion, his heart, is so big, so vast.

  When the photographer finds them, Arkady's leaning against Cade, cuddled close while Cade describes brushstrokes and colors. The woman asks if she can have a picture of them together with the painting behind them.

  "Is that okay with you? I'd like to show off my handsome date." Cade smiles.

  "Sure." Arkady is nervous, though, as he stands next to Cade, with Cade's arm around him, because this is the first picture Arkady will have with his stick in it, and it's not just any picture. It'll be published somewhere. People will see him and his walking aid, maybe people he knew before the accident.

  "You okay?" Cade asks quietly as the photographer gets ready, making sure she has a good shot of them and the painting behind them.

  "Just being silly." Arkady sighs, and Cade puts an arm around Arkady's waist, holding tight.

  "Your feelings are never silly, and you're beautiful. I want you next to me for this, but if you're not ready, I can do it alone," Cade says in a low voice, his breath ghosting over Arkady's ear. When he shivers, he feels Cade's hand tighten on his hip, and it causes a flash of
lust.

  Cade isn't ashamed to be seen with Arkady and his stick, even to be pictured with it. Arkady wants to feel like that, too. He wants to be proud of who he is. He survived a terrible accident and an attempt on his life. He's still here. He's not going to hide from the world because he's not the man he was before, physically at least. He's starting to realize he's much the same man. The changes are small.

  "I want to do this," Arkady says firmly, and faces the camera. Part of him kind of likes the idea of making a claim on Cade by being seen as his date like this. Lots of people would see Cade alone and want him, but he's with Arkady, and hopefully that won't be changing.

  They take the picture and go back to circulating. Even though Cade is working and has to talk to people, he doesn't leave Arkady alone or make him feel left out at any point. They're with a group of people, talking about the art, when Arkady spots Prisha and waves to get her attention.

  "I'll be right back." Arkady smiles, kissing Cade on the cheek before walking carefully over to Prisha.

  "You look great, Prisha. Cade said you might make it." Arkady hugs her. She looks gorgeous in a red dress.

  "I almost didn't. Work was hectic, but I made it, and I'm glad. You cut a handsome figure, and don't think I didn't see the way you kissed Cade. Very domestic," Prisha teases, smoothing out his suit jacket after their hug.

  "Yes, you get to be smug. You made a good decision setting me up with Cade. Things are going really well, thank you so much." Arkady grins.

  "I thought you'd like him, but I wasn't sure you'd be ready for a serious relationship so soon after your accident, and not having been the serious type before. But I thought it was worth a shot. I just saw you two fitting together really well." Prisha smiles.

  "He makes me happy. I don't know if I was ready for the change, for being serious, but now it's happened, I'm glad it has," Arkady says.