The Once and Future Scream Queen: Marlene Ambrosia Mysteries

by Brianna Bates

“Wow.” Marlene jotted a few notes down. “Sounds like you’re doing really well.”

  “Yeah.” He nodded excitedly. “Things are going really well.”

  “And how is your family?”

  “Oh, boy, they’re great. Dad just retired and they bought a place down in Florida, I think they’re not far from your mom actually. They’re now snowbirds.”

  “Your brother?”

  “He’s doing well. He just got his master’s so he’ll be in high demand soon.”

  Marlene was beginning to struggle here. “Your health is good?”

  “I’ve been running and cross-training a lot for the marathon. I’m the lightest I’ve ever been. I can’t believe it, I actually have a six-pack. Well, okay, it’s more like a four-pack. But I’ll take it, Mar! If only the guys could see me now, I’d probably get picked for all the teams.”

  Marlene smiled. “Sounds like everything is going really well.”

  “It is.” He nodded and sat back. “Things are great.”

  That kind of begged the question. “So …”

  He pointed at her. “You’re probably wondering why I made this appointment.”

  Marlene chuckled. “A little bit. Yes.”

  “So.”

  Marlene sat back and crossed one leg over the other. People found her easy to open up to, and she was waiting for Andrew’s big reveal.

  “Well, there are two things.”

  “Okay. Let’s take them one at a time.”

  He nodded. “I think I could help people, I mean, like you help people. I’ve really turned my life around and grown a lot.”

  “So you—”

  “I was wondering if you could help me become a life coach,” Andrew said. “You know, maybe show me your ways.”

  “Oh. Wow.” She didn’t know what to say. “Andrew, I’m new to this and still just learning myself—”

  “I really think I could help people. Give back a little. I’d do it in my spare time, not really for the money, more for the experience.”

  “Gee, Andrew, I really appreciate that but I’m not a good teacher,” Marlene said. “Honestly, I kind of feel my way through this job. I use a lot of, I guess what you’d call, intuition. I don’t know how to teach that.”

  His face fell. “But I’m sure there are some things you could show me.”

  Marlene felt bad turning him down. He sounded genuine in his desire to help others. There wasn’t enough of that sentiment going around these days.

  “Here’s what I can do.” She sat forward. “I’ll point you to a few good reference materials and blogs and you can study on your own and ask me questions.”

  “Really?” He nearly floated off his chair. “That’d be great!”

  “But like I said, I’m not a great teacher so I’ll be learning as I go along also.”

  “No, that’s okay. This is great. I’ve always admired how you could help people. I’ll never forget that day in high school when you told me to take the long way to the locker room.”

  “I don’t remember that.” She searched her memory, to no avail.

  “I would have gotten jumped if I’d gone the usual route. Chris Lubbock was looking for freshmen to terrorize. No big surprise he’s in prison, is it?”

  “No,” she said, glad she’d helped him but wishing she could remember. “So we’ll take the mentoring one step at a time. And I’m not going to charge you for that.”

  “Marlene, come on. Everybody pays for education.”

  Marlene emphatically shook her head. “Nope. I’m not going to take any money from you for that.”

  “You really are a great person.”

  She blushed, a little uncomfortable in his effusive praise. “Thanks. Now, Andrew, what else can I help you with?”

  He looked at his lap. “I’ve never dated before.”

  “Really?” Marlene couldn’t believe a thirty-one-year-old man had never had a girlfriend.

  He nodded. “It’s pretty embarrassing. I just don’t have a lot of confidence around women. I was getting ready to … this is going to sound ridiculous.”

  “Go ahead,” Marlene said. “Whatever you tell me will stay between us.”

  “I was going to ask Gwen out on a date.”

  “Oh.”

  He took a big deep breath. “I did, actually. I called her.”

  “When was this?”

  “A couple nights ago.” Andrew frowned. “I called her.”

  “How did that go?” Marlene asked.

  “This is really embarrassing.”

  “Andrew, I’ve been rejected plenty of times myself. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “I doubt anybody’s ever rejected you.” He hesitated. “Gwen actually laughed.”

  “Laughed?” Marlene said, incredulous.

  “I think she was so surprised that her natural reaction just came out before she could hide what she was thinking. She caught herself and then apologized.”

  “I’m very sorry,” Marlene said. “I know what that feels like.”

  “She was like that. Loud, boisterous, opinionated. She hadn’t changed. She spoke her mind before stopping to think how somebody would feel.”

  All very true.

  Andrew went on. “So as you can imagine, the call got awkward after that, obviously, and she made up a story about being on her way to see the mayor.”

  “The mayor?” Marlene asked.

  “Yes. They had kept in touch over the years, apparently.”

  Marlene filed that away, not knowing why Gwen would have been in touch with the mayor in the first place.

  “Look, Andrew, you’re a great guy. You’ve got a good career, you’re nice, you take care of yourself, you’re in good health, you’re family-oriented …I could go and on. I think what you need to do is ask yourself what you’re looking for in a woman. Gwen O’Vear, as much as I liked her, doesn’t seem like a good fit for you.”

  “What about you?”

  She stalled. “Excuse me?”

  “What about you? I could say the same things about you, Marlene. You’ve got a good career—you’re your own boss! You’re really nice and sweet and caring, and you take care of yourself.”

  The guy had just been rejected two days ago, and pretty harshly at that. She’d long suspected him of having a crush on her too, so Marlene wanted to let him down easily.

  “Andrew, you’re my client. I don’t think it’d be a good idea …”

  He smiled. “In that case, you’re fired. How about we go out?”

  Marlene squirmed in her seat. “Andrew, I’m sorry but I don’t think …”

  “What?” he asked, his guard going back up. “You just said all these nice things about me. So why not?”

  “Andrew, I’m sorry but I’m not interested in you like that.”

  “Were you lying to me?”

  “No.”

  Andrew stood. “Just forget it.”

  He stalked toward the door. As Marlene watched him go, images came to mind of Andrew with a short blond woman and two children running around them in a beautiful yard.

  “Andrew, wait!”

  He looked back expectantly from the door. “Yeah?”

  Marlene stopped short of him. “Look. I know you fired me but I have some advice for you. Everybody in Medboro still sees you like the kid you were in high school.”

  “Exactly.” His shoulders sagged. “No matter how much you change, people can’t see you with new eyes.”

  “Yes.” Marlene nodded at the truth of that statement. “Look, what you need is a fresh start. Your job is going well and will continue to go really well if you just keep doing what you’re doing. You’re on the right track. But maybe what you need is a change of scenery. Go somewhere where people don’t know you. It’ll give you the chance to be whoever you want to be. Do that, and I just know you’ll meet someone that will love you unconditionally for who you are. I just know it.”

  He looked at her, disapproval on his face. “Sounds nice, Marlene.
Thanks for the completely useless and vague help.”

  He stormed off. Marlene felt awful.

  “Nice one, sis.” Ganny came out from behind the counter. “Way to let him down easy.”

  Marlene shot her sister a look. “Better than leading a guy on.”

  “Oh come on. That was one time.” Ganny pouted. “And he had U2 tickets. I already promised to go to the concert before I decided to break up with him. What was I supposed to do?”

  “Maybe not gone to the concert?”

  Seventeen

  Marlene parked in front of the community center and hopped out of the Camry. It had been a long day. After the blowout with Andrew at the coffee shop, she’d gone online and updated her business’s blog as well as her Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram pages. Before she’d taken the self-employment plunge, she’d done a deep dive on understanding marketing and knew that it took some doing before people got comfortable with the idea of giving you their business. She’d filled the rest of the afternoon by commenting on forums and looking for leads and setting up her Facebook ads. She had no idea if they would work, but the good thing was she could shut them off at a moment’s notice if need be.

  She smoothed her capris and fixed her blouse. She was going for pretty in a professional way and thought she’d pulled it off with the new top.

  The Alcoholics’ Anonymous meeting was wrapping up. Marlene poked her head into the dusty auditorium—where she’d had gym class in grade school every day—and waved at Don. He was leading tonight’s meeting and smiled from the front of the room when he saw her.

  He wrapped up what he was saying and waved her in. Mostly male eyes turned in her direction. She recognized a few people and hid her surprise at their attendance of an AA meeting. They were all ages, both blue-collar and white-collar. It was a disease that didn’t discriminate.

  Don gave her a hug and introduced her. Marlene smiled and made sure to look at everybody in the room. When Don was finished, Marlene stepped forward.

  “Hi, everybody. Thank you for having me tonight. I’m Marlene, and for as long as I can remember I’ve been a life coach. Though it wasn’t until recently that I started getting paid for it.”

  There was a ripple of laughter from the group.

  “I’ve known Don since middle school so he was nice enough to let me present tonight. I was sorry to hear about the town…” She paused and looked around the room. She hadn’t planned on getting political tonight, but if she could help Artie out while she was trying to drum up business, she didn’t see the harm. Marlene figured everybody in the room would agree with her.

  “I should say, I’m sorry to hear about the mayor’s decision to cut the budget for community welfare programs like this. It’s a real shame that happened.”

  A few men called out their support and then there was a heartfelt round of applause.

  Marlene smiled. “Sorry, I’m not trying to make this about him but it’s difficult not to.”

  More applause. She wanted to make a pitch for Artie Ryan to run for mayor but figured that might have been going a step too far.

  “I think it’s time we elected somebody new, someone who can bring a fresh perspective on things.”

  The applause slowed and died. She wondered if they’d picked up on what she was saying or not.

  “Anyway, enough politics. That’s not why I’m here. I wanted to talk about how I help—”

  The lights suddenly brightened and the colors in the auditorium sharpened. Marlene squinted against the glare. The attendees shifted in their seats and looked at her strangely. Don got up, but she waved him away.

  “Sorry, I don’t know what…the lights just got really bright.”

  Don looked at her like she’d grown a second head.

  “Did you…” Before she could finish her question, the lights intensified more and a ringing filled Marlene’s ears.

  “Sorry…I—”

  Now the ringing was drowning out all other sounds. Marlene felt her body one moment, and then didn’t. It was like she was floating in space. She thought she heard somebody call her name.

  The auditorium melted away and in its place a calm lake and a long, green field formed. Marlene didn’t understand what she was seeing.

  At first.

  But then the details sharpened like a picture coming into focus through a high-definition lens. People were sleeping in the field as the sun set in the background, an orange ball of flame that had turned the horizon purple. A green mist slowly lifted off the otherwise still lake.

  Marlene focused on the people—no, men—sleeping in the field beyond the lake. And she realized: they weren’t sleeping.

  They were dead.

  Knights with swords and axes and shields. Black-robed priests walked the field solemnly, occasionally kneeling to touch one of the knights. She saw more than one wounded knight push an approaching priest away. Marlene was far enough from the field that she didn’t have to see the gory details, but she got the picture. There were a lot of people dead. In the distance, a banner hung limply in the windless air.

  “Merlin.”

  The voice came to her as if out of a dream. She turned and saw a bearded man stumble toward her.

  “Merlin, is it really you?”

  The man fell to his knees in front of her. He looked up with eyes of longing and of pleading. Hope-filled eyes that did not match the carnage of the field behind them.

  “Yes,” she heard herself saying.

  “Why did you leave me?” he asked. “When I needed you most?”

  Marlene knew at some level the man was not speaking English. But in her mind she was able to understand his words. She kneeled in front of him, saddened by the sight of him. She could tell he’d been injured badly.

  “I made a mistake, my friend,” she was saying. “Now I have lost you.”

  The man smiled. “You once told me that a bad decision was not a mistake so long as we learned from it. Did you?”

  “I hope so, Arthur.”

  She felt herself crying for this man as the life ebbed out of him. At some fundamental level, she knew she had failed him. And now she was powerless to help him.

  “It is good to see you again.” Arthur smiled, but there was a little less light in his eyes. “It is fitting. All of this has happened before.”

  “And it will happen again,” Marlene said, believing it.

  “You were there for me in the beginning, and you are here for me in the end.” Arthur’s smile faltered. “You are my teacher and my best friend, Merlin.”

  “I love you, Arthur.”

  Arthur’s eyes drifted and she thought he had passed, but then an unexpected joy filled them.

  “I see her.”

  Marlene frowned, not understanding. “Who?”

  “She calls to me.”

  “Who?”

  He pointed.

  She turned back and was shocked to see a woman slowly rising out of the lake. She had delicately fair skin and a scar on her shoulder and clear blue eyes.

  “Who is …” When Marlene turned back to Arthur, he was no longer slumped on the lake shore. She looked once more and saw him striding confidently into the lake. His steps should have shattered the calm of the water, but they did not.

  “Arthur!” she called out, suddenly not wanting him to go. “Arthur!”

  But he could not hear her. He waded into the lake. She rushed out to save him from drowning, but a terrible force knocked her backward. Marlene was lifted off the ground and thrown through the air.

  Eighteen

  “Marlene, you okay?”

  Slowly, she opened her eyes. Her head ached. Don stood over her, his eyes wide with fear.

  “Don … what happened?”

  He smiled, relieved to hear her voice. “You took a header. Good thing I’m still quick, otherwise you would have really hurt yourself.”

  “Where am I?” She picked her head up and could not recognize the big room she was in, or the men in there with her. Panic
began to take over, till her memory caught up. She was in the community center auditorium at the AA meeting.

  “We called for an ambulance,” Don said.

  “No, I’m okay. I just …” She pushed herself up. The world was a little wobbly, but she managed to get on her feet.

  “You just passed out is what you just,” Don said. “You should get checked out, Mar.”

  “Probably just dehydration. I didn’t drink enough water today.”

  He gave her a look. “You sure?”

  “I’m sure.” She looked around the room. “After that display, how many of these guys are going to give me their business?”

  Don laughed. “If you were going for sympathy, you got it.”

  “Listen,” Marlene said, never one to pass up an opportunity to offer advice. “You should create an anonymous forum on your site, it might encourage more people to talk about their problems and hopefully that will …”

  ***

  The sun had set by the time Marlene made it home. As soon as she saw Cromwell coming out of his burrow, she remembered.

  “Hey, buddy. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it home for lunch but even if I had … I don’t know if I could feed you mice.”

  Cromwell beat his wings. “How am I supposed to protect you then? All the mice have gone, and I cannot leave.”

  “Look.” Marlene made a face. “I am kind of a vegan. I figured you of all people—”

  “I am not a person!”

  “You of all animals would appreciate that.”

  “I don’t even know what a vegan is.”

  Marlene shook her head. “And yet you know just about everything else. I don’t eat meat.”

  “Don’t eat meat?” The owl’s natural frown deepened. “What is wrong with eating meat?”

  “Jeez, I thought you’d be happy to hear that. Look, just forget it. I’ve had a long day and another one of those visions came to me. When is that annoying old guy coming back?”

  The owl worked itself up into a frenzy. “When he is able!”

  “Well it better be soon, because I’ve got some questions for him.”

  The owl shivered in the night air and turned his head almost completely around. “There is a darkness approaching. You should get inside.”