Cowboy Love on Hold [Love: The Cowboy Way 1]

by Luxie Ryder

  “I didn’t reject you. I never stopped wanting you. I still do.”

  “Then why did you leave?”

  Brandon turned the question over in his head, searching for an answer that wouldn’t deceive or do more harm. He came up with nothing, so he told her the plain, unvarnished truth.

  “I left because Wade said I should.”

  Kimber’s hand shot out and slapped his cheek, harder than he’d have thought possible given her size. Brandon staggered backwards, his burning face the least of his worries. She still didn’t believe him.

  “You’re lying!”

  His patience ran out, and he crossed the ground between them in a couple of strides, grabbing Kimber by the shoulders. “You know deep down that something isn’t quite right with you and Wade. That’s why you won’t marry him.” Kimber shook her head, trying to deny the truth in his words, but he saw a moment of clarity in her expression and knew he’d hit the nail on the head. Hell, maybe Kimber herself hadn’t realized it until that very moment.

  “That’s not true. I told you—”

  “I know what you told me, and I don’t buy it.”

  Kimber tried to pull away. “You don’t know anything about my relationship with Wade. Why are you trying to confuse me and fill my head with lies?”

  “Jesus, I’m not lying to you! And for what it’s worth, I don’t think Wade meant to deceive you either. But what the hell do I care? If you think Wade is the only one around here you can trust, why don’t you go ask him what happened that night?”

  Brandon let her go before he did something crazy, like try and prove to her how much he still wanted her, and ran down the hill to his bike, gunning the engine and roaring away before temptation got the better of him.

  Chapter 5

  Wade slid to a halt outside Brandon’s house and tore from the truck, ignoring the rain beating down outside. He pounded on the door with a clenched fist, muttering a curse under his breath when it didn’t open immediately. Lightning illuminated the night sky for a brief second as he knocked again, trying to be heard over a loud clap of thunder overhead. Finally, he could hear someone fumbling with the latch, and Wade squared his shoulders, ready to beat the crap out of Brandon as soon as he laid eyes on him.

  Kimber had come back to the house that evening, in tears. She wouldn’t tell him what was wrong for the longest time, but finally, she’d admitted to kissing Brandon. Before Wade could even process how he felt about that, she’d accused him of making Brandon leave town and asked why Wade had lied about it.

  Hurt that, despite his efforts to protect them both, they were blaming him for everything, Wade felt betrayed. Didn’t they know he’d suffered, too? He’d lost his best friend over something that wasn’t his fault. Hell, he didn’t make Brandon kiss him, and he had no idea that he and Kimber would fall in love once Brandon was no longer in the picture. But to find out that, not only wasn’t his friend gay, but said friend was back in town trying to steal Kimber from him, well, that was about all he could stomach. Wade wasn’t the only one who hadn’t been entirely truthful, and Brandon had some explaining to do.

  But when the door opened, it wasn’t Brandon. Seth’s wife smiled up at him and invited him inside. Damn! He hadn’t expected anyone else to be in the house this late in the day. “Uh…no. I’ll wait here if you don’t mind, Mrs. Miller. Is Brandon home?”

  She nodded and shuffled away, taking an age to disappear from view. Brandon strode out into the hall seconds later, stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Wade in the doorway, and grabbed his hat from the rail. Wade surged forward, but Brandon raised a hand to stop him, his face hard with anger as he pushed Wade out of the way and stepped out onto the porch.

  “Not here,” Brandon muttered over his shoulder, striding away towards the barn, expecting Wade to follow like he thought he had the same control over him that he seemed to have over Kimber. Wade caught up to the other man in three easy strides, looked around to check nobody was watching, then shoved Brandon out of sight behind the shed.

  Brandon staggered forward then regained his footing and turned, just as Wade took a swing and landed a solid right hook on Brandon’s jaw, sending him sprawling in the dirt.

  “Wade! What the fuck?” Brandon sat up and held on to his face as he sucked the blood from a cut inside his lip and spat it into the dust.

  “You stay out of my life, and away from my woman.” Wade reached down and grabbed Brandon by the shirt, dragging him to his feet. “Did you hear what I said?”

  “Yeah, I heard.” Brandon grinned and spat again, irritating the hell out of Wade.

  “What the fuck are you smiling at?” Wade grabbed Brandon by the throat and pinned him against the side of the barn, infuriated to see that Brandon had no intention of fighting back.

  “I just think it’s kind of ironic that you are telling me to stay away. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I ain’t the one forcing myself on you and Kimber.”

  Wade let go, giving Brandon a warning shove as he stepped away and scooped his hat from the floor. “And just what in the hell do you mean by that? You kissed her. She told me.”

  “I kissed her? Oh, I see. You mean, in the same way I kissed you…right?”

  “That was different, and you know it!” Wade turned his back on Brandon, unable to meet the accusation in his eyes. He hadn’t thought about it for years, and he didn’t want to think about it now.”Why did you tell her it was my idea for you to leave town?”

  Brandon moved closer—too close—and squared up to Wade. “Why didn’t you tell her?”

  “Shit, I don’t know. What was I supposed to say?”

  “How about telling her the truth for a fucking change?” Brandon stepped closer still, his voice losing some of its anger, making it harder to hear him over the rain. “How about admitting to her that we kissed each other…and that you wanted it as much as I did.” Brandon leaned in, his nose almost touching Wade’s. “Or maybe you could have told her how you made me leave town because you wanted to forget what happened that night, and what it might mean about the kind of man you really are.”

  “No!” Wade roared as he surged forwards, pushing at Brandon’s chest to knock him to the ground. But this time Brandon fought back, his hands grabbing at Wade’s shoulders and taking him down to the dirt with him. The lightning flashed above them as Wade’s body slammed into Brandon’s, and he heard the other man groan. “No!” Wade shouted again, as a hard and unmistakable jolt of breathtaking lust surged through his veins at the sound. He struggled to get up, but Brandon wouldn’t let him go, his arms locked around Wade’s neck as he tried to get the upper hand and pin him to the mud.

  Wade’s feet scratched at the floor, trying to find purchase in the slippery yard, but all that achieved was forcing his groin against Brandon’s thigh again. The rock hard bulge at Brandon’s crotch jutted into Wade’s hip each time he tried to move away, and Wade grunted in disgust when another wave of desire tore through him as his erection met Brandon’s thigh once more.

  Brandon stopped trying to get Wade off him and lay still, his chest heaving as he panted, breathless from their struggle. Wade’s shirt was still bunched in his hands, and although Brandon had stopped fighting, he hadn’t let go. Wade stared down at him, spent and gasping for air himself, and trapped in a whirlwind of emotions and sensations he had only ever experienced once before. Shame crawled its way up his spine as he remembered that his body had reacted to Brandon in the same way all those years ago.

  Brandon moved his legs as he tried to sit up, sending another pulse of heat through Wade. This time, he wasn’t repelled by Brandon’s touch—he craved it, and pushed his painfully hard cock against Brandon’s thigh one more time. Brandon’s eyes opened wide, as if searching Wade’s face for some clue as to what was going on. Shying away from the questions in Brandon’s stunned gaze, Wade ground his prick against Brandon’s leg, empowered by the way Brandon shuddered when he did it again.

  The hands tangled in his shirt pul
led Wade closer, and he didn’t resist, allowing his body to crush Brandon’s into the mud. Brandon’s fingers curved around the back of his neck, gentle but firm as they urged his head down. Wade stared at Brandon’s waiting mouth and his lips parted in anticipation. But when nothing happened, Wade knew he would have to be the one to initiate the kiss this time.

  Wade closed his eyes as his lips met Brandon’s. Shocked at first by the scratch of bristle against his lips, he pulled back. A guttural moan erupted from Brandon as he opened his mouth and surged upwards, his fingers sliding up into Wade’s hair. Wade’s mouth opened at the gentle but persistent pressure, and he dipped his head again to slide his tongue over Brandon’s lips. This time, it was Wade who groaned as the kiss deepened and Brandon’s tongue tangled with his.

  Their gentle thrusts against each other’s bodies intensified, hands clasping at biceps and thighs to pull the other closer. Wade heard his shirt rip open, and then Brandon pushed against him, urging him upwards, Brandon’s mouth blazing a hot, wet trail down his neck to his chest. Brandon’s teeth grazed his flesh while his hands worked their way under the torn fabric of Wade’s shirt to thrust inside his jeans and grab at his ass.

  Unsure of how to do what Brandon needed, Wade grasped a handful of Brandon’s hair, pulling on it to tilt his head so Wade could find his lips again. He remembered that Kimber loved it when he did it to her…and the thought of her hit him like a punch in the gut.

  He stilled above Brandon, wanting him no less than before, but certain that he couldn’t betray Kimber’s trust and love. “Stop! I can’t—”

  “It’s her, isn’t it?” Wade nodded, glad he didn’t need to find the words to explain. “This feels like we’re cheating on her. She deserves better than this.”

  Wade rolled off him, groaning as he lost the warm contact of the body he’d been practically welded against only seconds earlier. Brandon sat up beside him, his jaw set in a firm line as he stared up into the clearing skies. “Huh, it stopped raining.”

  “I didn’t notice.” Brandon’s gaze clashed with his, and Wade’s erection throbbed again in answer to the heat in the other man’s eyes. Wade turned away from temptation, noticing for the first time that they were soaking wet and covered in mud. “Oh, man! How the hell am I going to explain this to Kimber?”

  Brandon got up and searched for his Stetson, finding it floating in a puddle, crumpled and sodden. He brushed at it a couple of times then gave it up as a lost cause and threw it back down.

  “Look, this doesn’t have to be a problem for you. If you want, we can just forget this ever happened, like we tried to before. Kimber never needs to know.”

  Wade searched Brandon’s face, stunned by his cool detachment. “Is that what you want?”

  “Fuck no!” Brandon dropped to his knees again, placing his hands on Wade’s shoulders and staring at him intently, as if to ensure Wade would listen to him. “What I want…what I’ve always wanted, is to be with you and Kimber.”

  “Oh God, I fucked up.” Wade closed his eyes, wounded by the need he saw in Brandon. “I didn’t know. I didn’t understand what was happening between us, and I blamed you for it.”

  “Hey, don’t beat yourself up. We were too young to deal with it back then. Hell, I even thought I was gay for a while, but it didn’t take me long to realize that it wasn’t just men in general that I wanted. It was you. Same thing with me and Kimber. No one else ever really stood a chance of making me happy.” Brandon got to his feet, reaching down to help Wade up. “The only thing I’ve learned in this whole sorry mess I’ve made of my life is that you can’t help who you love.”

  Wade’s heart lurched when he looked into Brandon’s forgiving eyes, and he knew what he had to say, no matter how hard it was for him. “I do care about you—maybe not in the way you need me to—but I do, and I’m sorry for making you leave.” Wade lifted Brandon’s chin when he dropped his head, visibly moved by what Wade had said. “And it’s not my job to speak for her, but I’m pretty sure Kimber cares about you, too.”

  Brandon turned away, shaking his head as if rejecting Wade’s confession. “I appreciate it, I really do, but I can’t just go back to being friends or make do with some kind of brotherly love. We had that before, remember?”

  “I do remember…and I don’t think I was treating you like a brother just now when I tried to get into your pants.” Wade was relieved when Brandon laughed, and some of the building tension between them lifted. “But you gotta give me some time, Buddy. I’ve never even considered that I would find myself feeling like this, or trying to put a name to what this thing is between us. This is all unchartered territory for me.”

  “So what happens now?” A flicker of hope sparked to life in Brandon’s eyes, and it hurt Wade to diminish it, but he had to be honest.

  “I don’t really know yet. Here, with you right now, it all makes so much sense, but when I’m alone and have some time to think, I might not be so sure. And of course, we’ve got to talk to Kimber.”

  Brandon shook his head. “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, Wade. You can’t unring a bell. What if she doesn’t want anything to do with either of us? I never really had her, but you’d be losing the best thing to ever happen to you. The risk for you is much greater than it is for me.”

  “I’ve wasted too much time and told far too many lies already. We owe her the truth. I only had her because I forced you to leave town in the first place. I think it’s about time she got to call the shots. Agreed?”

  “Okay, but you’d better do all the talking. She already thinks I’m the devil.”

  Wade grimaced. “I’ve got a feeling that’s gonna change when she hears how badly I’ve treated you both.”

  Chapter 6

  Kimber opened the door and let out a little shriek before she realized just who it was standing on her front porch.

  Wade had torn out of the house like his hair was on fire, vowing to beat the hell out of Brandon. As he’d taken the truck and left his cell phone at the house, Kimber had no choice but to wait for him to return, her stomach tied in knots. She couldn’t even call Brandon to warn him. So finding them together at her door, even looking as bad as they did, was a relief compared to what she might have had to deal with.

  “What in God’s name happened to you two? You look like you fell down a mineshaft!”

  She ran to the kitchen cupboard, grabbing a couple of garbage sacks and taking them back to Wade and Brandon as they stood in the hall, dripping dirty water all over her polished floor. “Put your clothes in here before you jump in the shower. Brandon, you can use the washroom in the den.”

  Wade wiped his hand on his tattered shirt, reaching out to grab her wrist. “Kimber, we need to talk.”

  Her stomach clenched at the tremor in his voice, and she knew that whatever was coming wouldn’t be pleasant. “We can talk after you clean up.”

  Brandon cut in, seeming oblivious to the fact that he was the cause of all their problems. “It’s important. Please, just hear him out.”

  Kimber glared at Brandon, then felt bad when he cast his eyes away, as if hurt by her anger. She reached out to touch his arm in way of apology for being so short with him. “So important that it can’t wait a little while longer?”

  “I guess not.” Wade shrugged at Brandon. “We’ve waited almost twenty years, what’s a few minutes more?”

  Brandon nodded and followed Wade from the room without looking her way again. Kimber got out the mop and cleaned up the mess they’d left, paying too much attention to the job but desperate to ignore the worry eating at her insides. Why had she told them it could wait? She hurried into the kitchen to put her cleaning utensils away and sat at the table, skimming through a magazine without actually reading it.

  The rustle of plastic behind her told her one of them had finished their shower, and she spun around to find Brandon hovering in the doorway holding the garbage sack out towards her, naked, save for the white cotton bath towel sitting dangerously low on hi
s hips.

  Kimber swallowed against the throb of a pulse in the back of her throat, her mouth going dry at the sight of Brandon’s body. The last time she’d seen it, he was a wiry teenager with bony shoulders and a hollow chest. But now here he was in all his glory, at full potential and as beautiful as he was ever going to be. Brandon stood in his bare feet in her kitchen with his skin gleaming from the heat of the shower, his blond hair plastered around his head in a sexy mess, and Kimber wanted nothing more than to relieve him of his towel.

  He moved closer, and then she spotted the bruise forming on the side of Brandon’s jaw. “Oh my God! Did Wade do that to you?” She rushed to get the first-aid box and made Brandon sit in the chair while she dabbed witch hazel on his swollen skin.

  “It wasn’t his fault. I pushed him too far.”

  “It’s not your fault either—it’s mine. I told Wade what happened up at Cedar Bluff, and what you said.”

  Kimber packed away the medical supplies when Brandon didn’t say anything more. He’d held her gaze until she looked away, scared by the invitation she saw in his eyes and her reaction to it. She glanced at the towel where it gapped across his thigh, exposing a length of firm, tanned skin, dusted with wiry blond hair. Kimber couldn’t help but let her gaze roam upwards to his groin. Brandon’s cock hardened under her stare, and she closed her eyes against a wave of want so powerful, she had to lean on the table to stop herself from falling into his arms.

  “Where do you want me to put this?” Kimber jumped at the sound of Wade’s voice behind her. He walked into the kitchen, also in bare feet but wearing his bathrobe. She took the bag from him and dumped it next to Brandon’s on the floor.

  Wade looked at Brandon and winced, reaching out to lift his chin so he could see the damage he’d inflicted more clearly. “Ouch! Sorry, Buddy.”