Summer Reads Box Set, Books 4-6

by Freethy, Barbara

  "But she also pissed you off, because she was weak. And you despise weakness in a person."

  "That doesn't make me sound very nice. But yes, I did resent her. I was a kid. I should have been protected, provided for."

  "Every kid deserves that," he agreed. "How did you ever get enough money to go to college? I know you worked a couple of jobs, but they couldn't have paid all the bills."

  "My grandfather died, and shock of all shocks, he left me fifteen thousand dollars in his will. He'd wanted nothing to do with us before that. I guess he and my mom had some fight over something, and he wrote her off, but apparently he wanted to do something for me after he was gone. If he hadn't left me the money, I probably wouldn't have been able to get through school, even with all the other jobs I was working. I got some scholarships, too, and I still have a lot of loans to pay back, but someday I will, every last one of them." She'd make sure of that. She wouldn't be indebted to anyone. Someday she would be completely free of every tie, every obligation. "Anyway, we can go now. I've seen enough. And you must be bored out of your mind."

  He grinned at that. "Natalie, you've been a lot of things to me, but boring isn't one of them. It's interesting to see where you come from. It helps me understand you."

  That made her more uneasy. She didn't particularly want to be Cole's focus. Not that she was deluding herself. They were just killing time until Cole could connect with Malone. After that, he would forget all about this little trip down memory lane. Unfortunately, it would probably last a lot longer in her mind.

  "Your mother must be proud that you became a doctor," he continued. "You're quite a success story."

  Was that admiration she heard in his voice? "I don't know if she's proud, but she believes I'll be able to take care of her. That's really all that matters."

  "Does she live alone now?"

  "She has a boyfriend who lives with her. I've never met him, but he's answered the phone when I've called."

  "You've called?"

  "Yes, you're not the only one with a sense of family duty. Despite everything, I can't forget that we're related and that she's my mother. I won't let her starve or get thrown out on the streets. As for a deeper relationship, it's not going to happen." She shook her finger at him. "And don't try to make me think about changing the way things are. A five-minute discussion doesn't make you an expert on my life or my psyche. Besides that, it's none of your business."

  "Are you done?"

  "That depends on what you're going to say next. I warn you, Cole. You need to back off. You're not my boyfriend, or even my friend for that matter. My personal life is my personal business."

  "It doesn't sound like you have a personal life. I'm beginning to understand why. You don't let anyone get close to you. You've built a wall around your feelings. No one will hurt you ever again."

  "So what? It's my life. I like it that way."

  "It's not healthy."

  "And you're the expert on healthy relationships?" she asked in amazement. "Do I need to remind you about the girlfriend who threw the stapler at your head?"

  "We're not talking about me. We're talking about you dealing with your past."

  "Oh, just shut up," she said in exasperation. "If I've built a wall around my feelings, it's not because of my mother, it's because of you." The words flew out of her mouth and once spoken, they couldn't be taken back. Nor could she seem to stop herself from continuing. He'd pushed her too far, and now he would have to bear the consequences.

  "Do you know that you're the first and only man to whom I said the words I love you?" she asked, looking him straight in the eye. "Do you know what it cost me to bare my heart and soul to say those words? And what did you do? You said, That's great, Nat. The next thing I knew you were blowing me off, not returning my calls, avoiding me. I was the stupid girl who'd taken sex far too seriously, wasn't I?" She didn't wait for an answer. "You hurt me, Cole. And I should have told you that a long time ago. If anyone made me cold and hard, it was you."

  He stared at her with a grim look on his face. "I'm sorry."

  "No, you're not."

  "I am sorry," he reiterated. "I am." He gazed into her eyes. "When you said you loved me, you scared the shit out of me. I didn't know how to handle it. I was young and stupid. I didn't know what you wanted from me. I didn't know how to say no to what you wanted, because part of me wanted it, too."

  There was truth in his words, a truth she'd never heard before but had known all along. "It doesn't matter. Forget it. None of this has any purpose. It's over and done with."

  "It's not, though."

  "The book and Emily's death have nothing to do with us. We both know we were broken up before she died. We just hadn't formalized it."

  "Natalie—" He stopped as his cell phone interrupted their conversation. Checking the number, he swore. "This is not what I need right now."

  "Who is it?"

  "My father." He shook his head. "I have to answer it. Hello, Dad."

  Natalie could hear Cole's father yelling into the phone. He was definitely upset about something.

  "I know. I was going to tell you tomorrow night when you got home, but I wanted to get more information," Cole said. "I'm looking into it right now." He listened for a moment. "If you do that, we're going to get more publicity. Let me investigate this on my own. Yes, I know. She didn't do it. I understand, but I still don't think you—" Cole paused. "Dad?" He glared at the phone. "Dammit, he hung up on me."

  "What was that about?" Natalie asked. "Or shouldn't I ask?"

  Cole slipped the phone back into his pocket. "My father heard about the book. He's still in Europe, but he'll be home tomorrow. In the meantime, he wants me to call the Santa Cruz Police Department and ask them to reopen the case."

  That was the last thing she wanted to hear. "Why?"

  "He wants them to find Emily's murderer. He wants them to find you."

  "Why didn't you tell him you'd already found me?" Natalie asked.

  Cole hesitated, then shook his head. "I didn't want to get into it over the phone."

  "Do you think the police will reopen the case based on a piece of fiction? Don't they need more evidence than speculation and innuendo?"

  "My family has a lot of connections," Cole replied tersely. "I'm sure my father can lean on someone to get something done."

  "Great. That's just great. Maybe that's what Malone wanted all along, to get the police re-involved. He couldn't pin the crime on me himself, but he could get everyone talking about it. Let's go to the radio station, Cole. I want to be waiting for him when he comes in. I want to rip that wig off his head and scrape that makeup off his face. I want to know who he is, and I want to know now."

  "Just when I think you're down, you get up swinging," Cole murmured, admiration in his voice. "You're amazing, Natalie."

  "I'm pissed off."

  "True. And I don't think we should let all that passion go to waste."

  Before she could ask him what he meant, his mouth was on hers, hot, demanding, insisting on a response, and her body gave it willingly. Anger mixed with desire, and all the emotions she'd been trying to control exploded in one colossal, spectacular kiss that completely swept her away. She gave herself up to the moment, to the need that told her she'd always wanted this man, and she probably always would.

  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him even closer, and when his hands cupped her breasts, she moaned into his mouth. She wanted his hands on her. She wanted to take off her clothes, and then take off his. She wanted nothing between them... not even a memory. Her mind started to drift, and she yanked it back, thrusting her tongue into Cole's mouth, taking him by surprise this time. His tongue danced with hers as they battled for the lead. He wouldn't give it up willingly. Neither would she. She wanted him, but she couldn't lose herself in him. That would be disastrous.

  "Damn, you can kiss," he muttered against her mouth a moment later, as they both took a badly needed breath.

  "Don't stop," she
murmured, the words bursting from her mouth.

  "I sure as hell don't want to. There must be something about you and me and cars. I can't seem to keep my hands off of you."

  Those hands ran through her hair now. He held her head in place as he pulled back to look at her. His eyes were dark with desire, his mouth full, tinged with the shade of her lipstick. She loved that small mark of possession. Maybe this man would never be hers entirely, but for a few seconds she'd had him right where she wanted him.

  "You don't know how much I want to climb into the backseat with you. Just like we did before," he said.

  She felt a wave of heat flood her cheeks, and she closed her eyes. But it didn't matter. She still saw him in her mind. He'd been wearing a tuxedo that night. She'd had on a short red cocktail dress that had cost her a fortune. They'd started kissing on the way to the family Christmas party at the Fairmont Hotel. They'd made out at every stoplight, stolen kisses at every stop sign. And when they'd pulled into a parking space a block away from the hotel, they'd scrambled over the backseat like two teenagers at a drive-in movie.

  It had been awkward and clumsy. They'd laughed until they'd kissed and then the sparks between them had burst into passion. It had been unbelievably intense. But that was Cole. His energy, his fire had always made her want to break the rules, throw off the restraints of her life, be someone wild and free, so different from the usually careful and cautious person that she was. She, Natalie Bishop, had given it up in the backseat of Cole's father's Mercedes. And she didn't care. Being with Cole had felt perfectly right. She'd been waiting for him her whole life, and that night she hadn't wanted to wait one second more.

  Her breath stuck in her chest as she tried to breathe through the idea that she could have it all again, that passion, that intensity, that fire. She could be that young, reckless girl again.

  "Look at me," Cole said.

  She didn't want to look, didn't want to be dragged back to reality, but finally she opened her eyes and saw that he, too, remembered.

  "It was good," he murmured.

  "It was spectacular."

  "We finally agree on something. That's a start."

  "A start to what?"

  Cole hesitated a second too long, a second that revealed more than he could ever say.

  "Forget it," she said quickly, anticipating another rejection. "This is a pointless conversation. We can't go back and we can't start over. We're different people now. And what we had is gone."

  "It didn't feel gone a moment ago," he muttered.

  She pulled away from him, smoothing down her wrinkled blouse, as if she could erase the memory of his hands on her breasts. But in truth they were still tingling, just as her lips were still burning and her stomach still churning with desire and need. Not that she'd tell him that.

  Cole sat back in his seat, his hands resting now on the steering wheel, but he made no attempt to start the car. "It meant a lot to me, Natalie, that night in the car, that Christmas, and the other times, too. It was never just sex with you. I want you to know that."

  She drew in a sharp breath, feeling dangerously close to losing it. "We should go, right now, and you should stop talking before you say something you regret."

  He turned his head to look at her. "I wasn't honest with you before, Natalie."

  "Cole, I don't want to get into it now."

  "We have to. Dylan said something to me yesterday at the club, about how I'd made it clear to you that it was over between us and how you wouldn't let go. That wasn't the way it was." He paused. "I know now that I was sending you mixed signals back then. I had too many balls up in the air. I was lying to my father about my career plans, trying to set up that job overseas so I could present it to him as a done deal. I was lying to my mother about getting an apartment in San Francisco, and I was avoiding Em so she wouldn't see how much lying I was doing. Worse, I was lying to myself, pretending that you and I were just a casual thing, because if I let myself believe it was more, maybe I wouldn't want to go on with my plans. Maybe you'd somehow suck me into a life I didn't want."

  "I guess my telling you I loved you didn't help," she said, suddenly understanding so much more.

  "Love has so many strings, Natalie. I was afraid I'd get tangled up in those strings and never find my way out."

  "So you cut them."

  "I wish I had cut them, but we both know I just kept giving you more and more slack, confusing you with my intentions."

  "Hoping I'd eventually let go. But I can be as persistent as you when I want something, and I wanted you," she said. "I couldn't see past that. I wish you'd told me this before. I thought I was doing something wrong." And she'd driven herself crazy trying to second-guess Cole, trying to figure out how she'd screwed up the best thing in her life.

  "You weren't doing anything wrong. I was a stupid kid back then. I didn't know how to break up with a woman. I didn't know how to call a halt, slow things down, so I just avoided it."

  She thought about that for a moment and had to ask. "Have you really changed, Cole? For a newsman, you're remarkably unskilled in the art of communication."

  He gave her a self-condemning smile as he nodded his head in agreement. "You're right. I still don't like to make the breakup speech. It's awkward and uncomfortable."

  "And it's not awkward to stay with someone you don't care about?"

  "I keep busy," he said with a shrug. "Something else you and I have in common, Natalie. And I don't recall you making the big breakup speech with me, either. What happened to equal rights?"

  "I didn't want to break up with you, you stupid man," she said in exasperation. "I was madly in love with you, although God knows why. You were impatient, short-tempered, and annoying."

  "Come on, tell me what you really think," he said with a laugh that was irresistibly contagious. After a long, pointed glare, Natalie found herself smiling, then chuckling, finally laughing right along with him. It was a welcome release to the emotional tension of the day, and something they both needed.

  "I'm glad we cleared the air," he said as he started the car. "I guess it's time to move on."

  "I guess it is." She took one last look at her childhood house and knew she would never come back. One ghost had been laid to rest. It was time to get rid of the rest of them.

  Chapter Eleven

  Malone was not at the radio station. Upon their arrival, they discovered that he'd canceled his appearance due to illness. Natalie didn't believe it for a second. Neither did Cole.

  "This is so damn frustrating," Natalie said as they walked back out to the car. "He's always one step ahead of us."

  "I think he's running now. I doubt he'll be appearing anywhere in public anytime soon."

  "Then how will we find him?"

  "I'm sure my investigators will be able to track him down."

  "They haven't so far," she said, feeling grumpy. "Give me your cell phone."

  "Why?" he asked, handing her the phone.

  "I want to call Malone's publicist. You have her number on the phone, don't you?"

  "Under Malone," he said. "What are you going to say?"

  "What I should have said as soon as I heard about this book," she replied. The phone rang twice before a woman answered.

  "Burke Promotions," she said. "This is Tracey."

  "Hi, Tracey. This is Natalie Bishop."

  There was a brief, telling silence on the other end of the phone; then Tracey said, "I'm sorry, should I know who you are?"

  "You absolutely should, but since you claim that you don't, I'll tell you. I'm the woman known as Nancy in Garrett Malone's book."

  "Mr. Malone's book is purely fiction."

  "Yeah, you can keep telling yourself that, but that's not going to make it true. Where is he, Miss Burke? We're here at the radio station in Los Angeles, and Malone is nowhere to be found."

  "He's ill," Tracey said quickly. "He had to cancel."

  "I'll bet he's ill. Well, you can give Mr. Malone a message from me. I'm going to
sue his sorry ass for libel, and he's going to wish he never heard of me, much less decided to call me a murderer." She heard the publicist gasp. "Got that? And if I were you, I'd start looking for another job. When I get done with Mr. Malone there won't be anything left of him to publicize." She ended the call on that satisfying note.

  "Feel better?" Cole asked as she handed him back the phone.

  "As a matter of fact, I do. I know we wanted to take him by surprise, but as you said earlier, he's probably running now anyway, avoiding any chance of a confrontation." She paused, a sudden thought occurring to her. "You know, I can understand why he wants to avoid me, but I don't get why he's avoiding you. His book is about avenging Emily's death. And you're her brother. You want the same thing. You should be on the same side."

  "That's true, but I wouldn't have gone this route. He could have called me and told me his suspicions anytime in the last ten years." Cole shook his head. "If this was really about avenging Emily's death, punishing her murderer, he would have done that. There has to be something else going on.”

  "Something more subtle," she agreed.

  "You call this novel subtle?”

  "In a way. I don't think Malone could have necessarily predicted the public reaction to the book. It was more like he decided to write a book about Emily in such a way that only a few people would know it was really her.”

  "It's turning out to be more than a few.”

  "Yes, it is." She put voice to another thought going through her head. "Instead of focusing on someone who doesn't care for me, I think we should consider the possibility that Malone is someone who really liked Emily, someone she was involved with.”

  "He's in his forties, Natalie.”

  "He wants us to think he's in his forties. Don't forget the makeup and the wig." She paused. "What we really need to figure out is who Emily was seeing in the weeks before her death. Madison said she was thinking of having sex with someone. We better find out who that someone was.”