Calculated Collision

by C. A. Szarek

  “Nothing.” She sighed.

  “Bullshit. I thought we were past this.”

  “Past what?”

  “After all we’ve been through together, you still won’t let me in?” He stalked across the room.

  Lee looked up into his face when he stopped in front of her. Nate still didn’t touch her, but he didn’t have to. The intensity in his eyes made her spine tingle and her body warm. Desire she wanted to resist settled low in her belly.

  “I’m not going to fight with you on our last night together.” The words fell out of her mouth as a pained whisper.

  “I don’t want to fight with you, either.” Nate rested his hands on her shoulders. He dipped his head down to brush his lips against hers. “I just want to be with you.”

  “I want that too.”

  “Completely with you, Lee. Don’t treat me like a second-class citizen. Let me know what you’re thinking. What you’re feeling.”

  I can’t.

  When his eyes searched her face again, Lee ignored the lump in her throat. The expression Nate wore told her he’d picked up the two-word phrase even though she’d not spoken. Like he was a grade-A mind reader.

  She couldn’t deal with this.

  Wouldn’t deal with it.

  Standing tiptoed, Lee pressed her mouth to Nate’s, praying he would just shut up about things she couldn’t put into words.

  Kiss me, Nate Crane. Just kiss me. Lee repeated the words over and over until she couldn’t think anymore, because he was doing just that.

  He plunged deep into her mouth, twining his tongue around hers and hauling her flush to his chest. She wound her arms around him and rocked her hips into his.

  Nate moaned first, pressing back into her pelvis. An erection was evident and Lee rubbed against him, kissing him harder.

  She didn’t want to think…because it hurt. She didn’t want to feel the loss that was already settling over her.

  He was leaving.

  Tomorrow.

  You knew this wasn’t permanent.

  Not that she’d wanted it to be.

  Right?

  Squeezing her eyes shut until she saw stars behind her lids, Lee burrowed into his chest, slanting her mouth under his again and again. Prayed he didn’t sense her desperation, but saw—felt—the desire and passion she had for him.

  Nate continued to kiss her back with the same fervour. He held her tightly against him, caressing her back and cupping her ass. Holding her upright like he always did. Protecting as he controlled, plundering her mouth and making her crave his touch.

  When things slowed down for the sake of breathing on both their parts, Lee rested her forehead against his, panting in rhythm with him.

  “Let’s go to my room,” she whispered into his mouth.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Nate stared down into Lee’s dark eyes. His cock pounded against the zipper of his jeans and he teetered between lust and coherent thought.

  What do you want from me?

  He couldn’t ask. Pushing her got him nowhere. She wouldn’t open up. When he got close to demanding, she shut down. Shut him out.

  Shut up is what you need to do right now, Nate Crane. Kiss her again. Take her in her own bed.

  Remind her how of it was with them. Them together would be the last thing on her mind tonight and the first thing she thought of the next morning.

  Maybe seeing him in her bed would jolt her into wanting to keep him there.

  Permanently.

  He couldn’t tell her his plans for the morning. It didn’t matter—for now. Nate would have to be smart. Let his case rest before the argument. Get things all lined up so Lee didn’t have a choice.

  Because now that he had her back, he wasn’t letting her go, no matter what she said. No matter what she thought she wanted.

  He’d dabbled in the idea of moving back to New York before he’d left Texas for his annual trip. Nate had paced his office at home, staring at his flight itinerary and thinking of her.

  When he’d discovered her past, he’d known she could never be FBI in Dallas again. So maybe the fantasy of living with her in the city had started six months ago—almost seven now.

  It hadn’t solidified for him until their eyes had met in that hotel bar. He hadn’t looked back as of that moment—not really.

  Nate hadn’t foreseen losing Angelo and being with her for weeks. However, he wouldn’t have traded the unplanned time with Lee. He’d miss his frat brother for a long time. Wished it hadn’t happened. Or that ‘Lo hadn’t made the choices he had.

  Lee.

  He’d got time to really get to know her better. Fallen even harder for her.

  Nate couldn’t lose her again. Go back home and pretend they’d never been—again.

  He had no illusions about Lee. She was deep and caring, though she rarely showed it. She was funny and gorgeous, and he loved her more than words.

  Under the surface he sensed deep hurt. Anger. She’d lost her family six years ago, and her downward spiral had lasted more than three years. Despite being two years past the DWI and settled into the New York office of the FBI, she wasn’t over losing her husband and son.

  How could he tell her he knew it all? This moment was like the dozen other times he’d wanted to open his mouth over the course of staying at the house in upstate New York. Nate couldn’t find the right words.

  Lee had never made him any promises. And he wasn’t foolish enough to expect them. Just wished it didn’t hurt like a bitch. Or make his chest burn and his eyes smart, even though he couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried.

  His love was no better about feelings than he was about telling her he knew of her past. The only time she was honest with him was in bed. When she let her body communicate for her. It was pure. Beautiful. And she never held back.

  “I don’t want to talk anymore,” Lee whispered, spreading little kisses all over his mouth. “I just…need you. Need this. Before you go.”

  He shivered and chided himself not to contradict her. Wanted to tell her she wasn’t getting rid of him that easily. To declare he wasn’t leaving NYC, that he had a job interview in the morning, but he didn’t. She wasn’t ready to hear it.

  Stop thinking. Concentrate on the love of your life. She’s in your arms.

  “Take me to bed.”

  “You read my mind, angel.” Nate dipped his head low for a kiss.

  Lee jumped up into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Her body hit his in all the right places, but they had too many clothes on.

  He held her tight, deepening their lip-lock and sucking on her tongue until she groaned. She ran her hands up and down his back and he fought a tremor. He needed her fingers on his bare skin.

  Nate was going to taste every inch of her body. Brand her like she had him—make her realise she was his without uttering the words.

  Her apartment was small, and the bedroom was only a few steps from her living room. As Spartan as the rest of her place, there was only a double bed, an armoire and a nightstand. But unlike the rest of the apartment, this room was more Lee.

  She had a few framed photos on the walls, and her closet door was open. Clothes were piled on the floor just inside the door, showing she wasn’t always a neat freak.

  Nate liked that. It made her more real.

  When he laid her at the centre of her bed and followed her down, she was already writhing beneath him. “Don’t tease me. Lose the clothes.”

  He laughed, nibbling on her bottom lip before nipping her chin and dragging kisses downward.

  Lee hissed, but tilted to give him access to her neck. She buried her hands in his hair and tugged, but Nate didn’t care. He wasn’t going to hurry, no matter the demands of his impatient angel.

  Thrusting his hips resulted in his denim-clad erection hitting her jeans-covered core. She moaned and rocked under him, lifting her hips and mock-glaring.

  “What are we? Teens dry humping? Get naked. Now, Counsellor.”


  Nate chuckled. “Awfully bossy, angel.”

  “I’m an FBI agent. Comes with the territory.” Lee pushed him off her and yanked her shirt up and over her head the moment there was space enough between their bodies. She made quick work of her bra, tossing it fastball-style to the carpet of her room.

  He watched her, taking in every inch of bronze skin she’d bared. Nate licked his lips.

  “Now you,” she ordered, but she’d already tugged his tee from his jeans, her fingers teasing his abs as she went.

  His muscles jumped, and he groaned as her caresses spread to his pecs, and Lee pinched his nipples. Biting back a moan, he let her push his shirt up and off. She tossed it over the side of the bed and renewed her touches to his shoulders and back, adding kisses across his collarbone until a tremor shot down his spine.

  “I can’t concentrate when you do that,” he whispered into her hair.

  She flashed a signature smirk. “Good. Concentration isn’t required when I’m trying to get you to do what I want.”

  Laughing, he shook his head and grabbed her hand, smothering her knuckles with kisses. Nate skimmed his fingers up her wrist, then her arm, touching as much of her soft skin as he could. Craved more.

  “Hmmm, that tickles,” Lee whispered.

  He cupped her face and pulled her closer for another kiss. Their mouths melded. It was tender and held none of the urgency as the one in the living room had. Nate hauled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her.

  Her full breasts pressed into his chest as they came together, and Lee rocked in his lap, reminding him they both still had jeans on.

  His cock throbbed, begging for freedom.

  “Angel, you were right.” The words were muffled against her luscious mouth. He felt her smile before he saw it.

  “I’m always right.”

  Nate grinned and kissed her again. “Don’t you even want to know about what?”

  Lee undulated and they both groaned. “Think it has something to do with this.” She slipped off his lap and covered his erection with a palm.

  He lifted into her touch, burning for her fingers to free him, encircle him, stroke him.

  “Oh, I see you like that, babe. Well, lose the pants and I promise there’s more.” Lee stood from the bed, a teasing smile on her lips that turned his insides to mush.

  Her nipples were hard, her gorgeous breasts begging for a caress, but she swatted his hands away when he reached out. “Stay there.”

  Lee opened her belt and took her holstered Glock off, setting it on the only nightstand next to her bed. She did the same with her magazine and handcuff cases.

  He was torn between being even more turned on and jealousy when he watched the care with which she handled her equipment. But when his lover’s attention was back on him and she lowered the zipper of her jeans slowly—striptease style—Nate’s dick pulsed and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the movement of her hips.

  She circled and swayed as she pushed her pants down as if she had all the time in the world, revealing a black lace bikini inch by inch.

  His mouth went dry as he stared. Didn’t give a shit that she’d replaced the practical cotton underwear he’d grown used to seeing her in. She wouldn’t be in the little black number long enough for it to matter.

  As if Lee had read his mind, she shoved the panties off one hip, then the other. Stepped out of them quickly. She stood beside her bed, naked as the day she was born.

  Perfect.

  The most beautiful woman Nate had ever seen.

  “Come here,” he growled.

  Lee grinned and shook her head. “I showed you mine. You show me yours.”

  “You’ve seen it before.” He fought a smile.

  “I want to see it again.”

  “Oh, you’ll get to.”

  “Now, Counsellor.”

  Nate laughed again, and licked his lips. He complied, rising to his knees on the bed and opening the button on his jeans. He stilled, fingertips on the zipper pull. “I’m afraid I’m not as good as you are with the teasing.”

  She stepped closer but didn’t reach for him. “Yes you are, babe.”

  The endearment rolled over him like a caress. When she’d said it in the car it’d felt like Lee was mocking him. Then she’d said it when she’d kiss-cuffed him. But now… It felt real. As though she meant it.

  His heart flip-flopped and Nate swallowed. He suddenly needed to touch her, hold her. Kiss her again.

  Chiding himself to be patient, he unzipped his jeans and pushed them down. He yanked them off and tossed them away.

  Even though he’d divested himself of the rest of his clothes, she didn’t climb on the bed. He felt the heat of Lee’s stare and it kicked his libido up a notch. She liked his body, and that made his blood run hotter.

  “Angel, you’re killin’ me. Come to me. Be with me.” Nate put his hand out, and knelt on the bed at the same time her palm grazed his.

  He pulled her to him the rest of the way and Lee straddled his lap. They sat facing, breasts to chest, sexes touching and arms around each other.

  She pressed her mouth to his and Nate returned her kiss, cupping the back of her neck to tug her even closer. He buried his hands in her long, dark hair.

  Lee pushed her knees into the bed for leverage and started to rock in his lap. He groaned into her mouth as her core rubbed his cock. The friction wasn’t nearly enough. She moved back and forth, driving him crazy.

  He ended their kiss and met her eyes. They panted against each other. “I need you,” Nate confessed.

  “Just warming you up, babe.” The statement was a tease, but her voice was deeper, thick with desire.

  “Oh, angel. I’m already there. I want you. Inside you.”

  She swallowed and he kissed her throat. Nate ran his hands down her back, until he splayed them both at her slender waist. He lifted her and Lee slipped a hand between them.

  He grunted when she gripped him. Pleasure enveloped his dick, shooting into his balls. He needed inside her.

  Lee impaled herself on him. He slid into her heat. She was wet, welcoming and took all of him at once. She whimpered as her bottom hit his thighs.

  “You okay?” The two words were strained to his ears, but Nate needed to make sure he hadn’t hurt her.

  She kissed him in answer, starting to thrust gently. He rocked beneath her, deepening their kiss and urging her faster.

  Lee ignored him, moving her hips in a too-slow pace. She braced her hands on his shoulders and undulated.

  Nate tightened his grip at her waist and lifted her up and down his length.

  Instead of fighting him, she threw her head back and pushed down faster every time he moved her away.

  The sounds that breached her lips made his blood boil. Little whimpers and whines, mixed with deep moans and groans. He kissed her over and over, nipping and sucking on her bottom lip.

  She was right with him as they went higher and higher. Touches, kisses, tasting each other’s sweat-kissed skin. Her nails bit into his shoulders as their strokes became frantic.

  His spine tingled and his thighs burned as climax started to crest. She was close too, her body giving him clues as her thrusts became jerkier and her hands opened and closed on his shoulders.

  Orgasm crashed over them at the same time. Lee writhed in his lap as his cock jerked inside her. She whimpered, closing her eyes and burying her face in his neck. Her core clenched him tight, holding him as her inner muscles pulsed.

  He pinned her to his chest, caressing her back in long circles. Her skin was damp and overheated, but Nate didn’t want to be parted from her—ever.

  I love you was on the tip of his tongue, but he held back like before. Telling her how he felt would ruin the moment. Lee would pull away from him—physically and mentally.

  She hadn’t lifted her head from his shoulder, spreading warm, wet kisses on his neck, his throat and under his chin. Her palm rested against his cheek and her thumb teased his stubble.

&
nbsp; Nate laid his hand over hers. He’d never get tired of her kiss. Her touch. He pressed his lips to the crown of her head before cupping her face and making her meet his eyes. “I’m glad I’m spending my last night in New York with you.”

  His heart stuttered when he saw the dark brown depths of her eyes shine with tears.

  Lee sighed, her breasts heaving against his chest. She smiled softly. It was tremulous and endearing. Honest. “I’m glad, too. You’ll stay with me all night, right?”

  “Of course, angel. Where else would I go?”

  She didn’t answer. Just nestled into his chest.

  He laughed. “Are we going to sit up all night?”

  When Lee met his gaze again, her expression was torn between amusement and…hurt?

  Nate swallowed, trying to focus on anything other than serious emotions that would force her retreat. He kissed her nose. “I want to lay with you, hold you.”

  Nodding, she flashed a smile that was almost shy. “You’re privileged, you know.”

  “How’s that?”

  “You’re the first guy to sleep in my bed.”

  And the last. But he didn’t say it.

  He grinned. “Oh? You don’t bring boys home? Surprising, because you’re not really the good girl type.”

  Lee scrunched up her nose and laughed. “Really? I thought I was good.” She tilted her hips, intentionally grinding against his softening cock.

  Nate groaned. “I’ll show you good.” He grabbed her and pushed her down into the bed, settling on top of her.

  She yelped and let out a giggle, but didn’t fight Nate’s kiss when he crushed her mouth with his. Their tongues danced and duelled, and Lee wrapped her arms and legs around him, burying her hands in his hair as she kissed him back.

  He wished his dick was ready to go again already.

  When the kiss ended, Lee stared up at him. Her tan skin glowed from exertion, her high cheekbones were flushed pink and her dark hair was mussed, spread out on her pillow.

  Her beauty took his breath away.

  Mine. Lee Dawson, you’re mine.

  She caressed his shoulders and back as if she couldn’t stand not having contact with him, and Nate once again stopped words of love from tumbling out of his mouth.