by Minkman, Jen
“I’ll have a look in a minute,” she said. “Shouldn’t I be helping you in the kitchen?”
“No, you shouldn’t. Why don’t you play something on the piano? That’s gonna inspire my cooking for sure.”
He made his way to the kitchen, leaving Julia next to the grand piano in the living room. She sat down and lightly ran her fingers over the keys. Even though she was in a good mood, she started to play a mournful tune, to her own surprise. It was something that just came out of nowhere and felt as if she was leaving something precious behind in the song she was playing, although she didn’t know what it was.
As she finished, Michael walked up to her. He caressed her shoulder. “That was beautiful,” he said in awe. “You composed that?”
Julia smiled. “Yes. Just now, in fact. It’s like someone whispered it to me… as though I’ve stolen this song from the trees in the woods.”
He thought it over. “You could have. Maybe you’re more open to some influences than others. That would explain why you liked to write your poetry in the forest as well.”
He slid down next to her on the piano bench, snaking an arm around her waist.
“Don’t you need to supervise your pots and pans?” Julia giggled when he started kissing her all over her face and neck. “Isn’t our dinner going to burn?”
He shook his head. “The lasagna is in the oven, so that will take care of itself.” He kissed her once more, searching her lips with his mouth. Her heart sped up when his hand ran up and down her back, making her shirt ride up a bit. Out of breath, she let him pull her up and walk her over to his DVD collection. They finally settled on ‘Legend’, one of Tom Cruise’s earliest works. Julia had seen the movie dozens of times, but Michael hadn’t.
“This is the first movie I bought on DVD,” she told him enthusiastically, balancing two plates of lasagna and climbing the stairs. Julia had suggested they watch a movie in his room, because she secretly didn’t like the living room that much – it was too big for her taste. Michael’s bedroom was much cozier.
Michael was carrying her overnight bag. He threw it down next to the bed when they entered. “Geez, woman,” he teased her. “What’s in this bag? Bricks?”
“No, books, actually.” Julia sat cross-legged and zipped open her bag. “They’re for you – to borrow.”
One by one, she handed them over to him, and he accepted them almost reverently, running his hand down the spines of her favorite books. Zweig. Brecht. Kafka.
“If you like them, I bet you can buy your own copies at the bookstore at a discount,” she added with a playful smile.
Michael flopped down on his bed and put the pile of books on his nightstand. “You think Martin will give us the discount twice if we order them together?” He kissed her cheek when she scrambled up to join him on the bed. “Thank you. I’m going to pick one to read tomorrow. Now let’s eat.”
After polishing off their plates of lasagna, they both lay down on the bed facing the screen in the corner. Michael switched on the player. In the meantime, the sky outside had turned almost dark, so they’d drawn the curtains. It felt cozy and safe in his room. Julia scooted closer to Michael and closed her eyes, relishing the intimacy she felt being near to him. It felt so different from the first time she’d been in this room, lying on his bed, making out. That moment seemed ages ago.
She only noticed she’d fallen asleep during the movie when Michael woke her up by softly stroking her forehead and kissing her lips. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” he chuckled when she opened her eyes. “I thought you said this was your favorite movie!”
Julia lifted her head and saw the credits roll. “Oh, too bad. I just missed the ending,” she yawned, then turned over to him and kissed him back. His hand massaged her shoulders and neck, then slipped down her back to her tailbone. She moved in closer, letting his warmth soothe her. His breathing turned heavy when he kissed her more deeply and held her in his arms without breaking away. Usually when they kissed, they were somewhere outside or at her place. Now, they were in his house, and they were all alone. There was no need to let go.
She groaned in protest when Michael pulled away eventually, pushing her back and looking at her earnestly. “Julia,” he said in a ragged voice.
Breathlessly, she gazed up at him. “Yes?”
“Should I...” His eyes darted to the door and back to her. “Shall I make you a bed in the guest room?”
She slowly exhaled and cupped his cheek with her hand. “No,” she replied firmly.
A light grew in his eyes, but he still looked at her attentively. “Are you sure?” he whispered close to her mouth.
“Yes. Very sure.” She blushed, but her voice didn’t waver. This was what she wanted. He was what she wanted – and this time for real.
He pulled her into him and rubbed his cheek against hers, then mumbled in her ear. “I love you.”
It was the first time he’d said those words. Julia’s entire body was aglow with love and passion and emotion. “I love you too,” she whispered back. “You keep me safe.”
After that, she said no more. Nothing more needed to be said that night.
14.
“Oh my word, look at that view!” Florian exclaimed excitedly, pointing down from their capsule. Far below, the Thames wound its way through the city like a glistening ribbon of blue, Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament flanking the river like miniature buildings.
“Yup. Great,” Tamara deadpanned. She’d only found out she was afraid of heights when they’d already boarded the Ferris wheel, so she was sitting on the bench in the middle of the capsule holding Gaby’s hand in utter terror.
“It really is great,” Axel chimed in. He was standing next to Florian, filming the view with his camera. “Okay, so they charge you an arm and a leg to get on the London Eye, but it’s worth every dime.”
Julia was on the opposite side of the bubble, listening to Michael pointing out all kinds of sights to her. He’d been to London several times already, so he knew where to find the most famous sites from up here.
“Smile, you lovebirds,” Florian called out to them at that instant. They looked sideways and he snapped a picture of them with his phone.
“What kind of birds?” Julia called back with a devious grin.
“Pigeons, of course,” Florian replied with a wink. “Lots of those around here, right?”
Michael shot him a sour look. “Ha, ha. Very funny.” Yesterday, he’d been fined by a bobby for feeding the pigeons on Trafalgar Square. “How was I supposed to know we’re not allowed to feed some birds? They’re not exactly carrying banners saying ‘We Pigeons Are London’s Worst Pest’, are they?”
Julia flung her arms around him. “Well, I thought it was adorable you wanted to feed the pigeons,” she smiled. “You looked so cute with your hands full of breadcrumbs and this flock of eager birds surrounding you.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, if only the police thought the same.”
“What? You being cute?” Axel piped up.
Michael and Julia both burst out laughing. This was their third day in London and they were having a good time so far. Last night they’d attended Moritz’s concert. Today, they were planning on having a picnic in Hyde Park in the afternoon. The girls had hit Tesco’s this morning to do grocery shopping and brought the stuff up to their room. “I can only hope the mice won’t touch it,” Gaby had remarked sarcastically, since the youth hostel wasn’t the cleanest place they had ever come across.
“Are we there yet?” Tamara asked plaintively, getting up on shaky legs to risk a glance outside the window. “Oh, good. Almost. I can’t wait to get out of this thing.”
After a few more minutes, the whole group exited the bubble and popped into the gift shop opposite the Eye. Gaby, Julia, and Tamara walked in first, their arms linked, and the boys followed behind. At the beginning of the trip, they’d all solemnly sworn not to turn this into a couples’ trip, and so far, they had all been good. Julia hadn’t even spent that much
time with Michael – he was mostly hanging with the guys and he slept in a different room. Gaby and Axel were on their best behavior too.
Axel was chatting animatedly to Michael as they entered the store. He seemed to finally have gotten over the fact that Michael initially hadn’t treated his cousin so respectably. Julia looked at the two of them with a smile. Axel should be happy for her, because this entire summer had been one long, jubilant string of happy occasions, just as she’d once imagined it in her dreams. At the end of the summer, Michael would move to Graz, though. She dreaded that moment – she was going to miss him so much.
“Hey, man, are you okay?” she suddenly heard Axel calling out behind her. Julia turned around and saw Michael sitting down on a folding chair next to the entrance. Florian was standing next to him, fanning him with a newspaper and offering him a bottle of water.
She quickly made her way over to him. “Is the heat bothering you?” she asked, touching his forehead. It felt cold as ice, despite the hot temperatures today.
Michael shook his head. “I’m just dizzy,” he mumbled. “Just let me sit down here for a bit.”
“You think it might be his ride on the Ferris wheel?” Tamara wondered aloud.
“Possibly,” Julia replied absently. She crouched down and stayed next to Michael until the others had paid for their souvenirs at the checkout. His spells of dizziness were starting to worry her. He looked just as pale as when he’d left work one week ago when he was feeling sick. What was the matter with him?
“I’m taking Michael back to the hotel,” she said decidedly once they’d left the gift shop. “Let’s meet up in Hyde Park late afternoon, on the green near the Peter Pan statue.”
“Are you sure?” Gaby asked. “You don’t want us to come with you?”
“What, and ruin your last afternoon in London? No way.”
Tomorrow morning they’d fly back to Salzburg, and Julia knew Gaby was dying to go to a few Goth shops in Soho they’d passed yesterday.
“Okay, whatever you say.” Axel slapped Michael on the back. “Take it easy, man. We’ll see you guys later.”
Julia’s fingers tightened around Michael’s hand as they started to make their way back to the tube station. She hoped there’d also be buses outside the station – taking Michael home in a hot and busy underground train didn’t seem like the best plan right now. Apparently, he was thinking the same thing, because he pointed at a cab waiting at the taxi stand near the station. “Come on, let’s take a taxi home,” he said tiredly.
“Are you out of your mind?” Julia gaped at him. “That’s going to cost a ton! Do you know how far it is to the youth hostel?”
He shot her a feeble grin. “Oh well. Aren’t you happy you have a rich boyfriend now?”
Julia shrugged and didn’t respond. Michael was right – he could easily afford it. It just made her insecure whenever he threw around money like that. He wasn’t trying to show off consciously, but she was simply used to a very different lifestyle.
She exhaled deeply when they crawled into the back seat of the cab. “Hyde Park Hostel, please,” she said in her best British accent. The driver nodded, turned on the meter and drove off. After a thirty-minute ride to the hotel, Michael paid the driver a shocking amount of money, but Julia was actually relieved they got there so fast. Michael still looked very pale. He probably wanted to lie down in his room.
“Shall we go upstairs?” she proposed as the taxi disappeared around the corner.
He shook his head. “I want to go to the park. Sit under the trees. It’ll do me good.”
That’s what he had done last time too. It had worked really well last week, so why not? “Okay. I’ll just quickly run upstairs to get some drinks and my book,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”
As she made her way up the stairs huffing and puffing – the cheap hostel didn’t have a functioning elevator, and of course their rooms had to be on the fourth floor – she thought about which book to bring. She and Michael had been reading poems from her Daniil Charms collection just before they boarded the plane a few days ago, so she’d bring that.
“All righty, let’s go,” she tried as cheerfully as she could when she stepped outside. Michael still looked as white as a sheet, but he probably wouldn’t feel better if she kept fussing over him all the time. It was a better idea to ‘send him some sun’, as he sometimes called it. Whenever she shared her stories with him and couldn’t stop talking and beaming at him, he called her his sun, just like he’d done in his poem to her. She knew it was cheesy, but she didn’t care – she was still way too much in love to consider anything related to her and Michael too sappy.
As they picked their way down the path leading into the park, up to the green where they’d agreed to meet with the others, Julia whistled a happy tune. After a few minutes, Michael veered off the path, pulling her along to a large, gnarly chestnut tree in the middle of the green. “Shall we sit down here? In the shade?”
The two of them picked a shady spot. Michael observed Julia with a smile as she rummaged around in her bag to get cans of soda and bags of potato chips. “You’re gonna read to me?” he asked eagerly when she pulled out the Charms poetry book next.
She nodded. “That’s the plan! Why don’t you lie down with your eyes closed and a drink within reach?”
Obediently, he grabbed a can and settled against the trunk of the chestnut, his eyes shut. Julia leafed through the pocket book. It had once belonged to her grandfather, who had always been fascinated by Russian literature, leaving her his collection of translated poetry when he died. She’d read this book countless times, but this was the first time she was sharing it with someone dear to her.
She softly read out some of her favorites. ‘A Romance’, ‘Petrov and Kamarov’, ‘A Song’. Every once in a while, she peeked at Michael to check whether he was still awake. Every time she did, she saw a faint smile playing around his lips. He was still sitting with his eyes closed, but the color had returned to his face.
Presently she turned the last page and read out the very last poem in the book.
“A man left his house
with a club and a sack;
set off
down the road
and never looked back.
He walked ever onward,
he walked ever straight.
Never slept,
never drank,
never drank, slept, or ate.
At dusk, he entered a forest
as dark as the night.
And since
that time
he has vanished from sight.
But if you ever happen
to come across this man…
then please
let us know,
as fast as you can.’
With a sigh, Julia closed the book. But when she looked up, she started. The smile had disappeared from Michael’s face. He looked at her so mournfully, so solemnly, that she couldn’t help but come over and sit down in front of him. “What’s wrong?” she mumbled, caressing his face.
He extended his arms toward her and she disappeared in the circle of his arms. “I don’t want to leave,” he replied almost inaudibly.
She didn’t understand. “Don’t want to leave where? London?”
He shook his head, remaining quiet. Julia bit her lip and gazed into his eyes. He must have been thinking about Graz too – how they’d be apart in a few more weeks. With a heavy sigh, she put her head on his shoulder. “Everything will be okay,” she mumbled, pressing her hand to his chest. “I love you.”
Slowly, she could feel his body relax against hers. “I love you too,” he said. “I don’t know why I’m upset. Never mind me.”
In the hours that followed, Michael gradually recovered from the strange weakness troubling him that morning. By the time the rest of their party arrived at the park, Julia and Michael were playing a game of badminton using a set of rackets they’d borrowed from a family sitting a little ways away from them.
Her best friend nodded. “I practically ransacked the store. And spent all my money, by the way. I don’t have any pounds left to buy snacks on the plane tomorrow.”
“She bought a really cool shirt,” Axel supplied, winking at Julia. “Why don’t you show it to Julia?”
Gaby flushed, pulling a shirt from one of the bags with a nervous giggle. It was a tank top featuring skulls, safety pins and the line ‘I Love My Boyfriend To Death’. “Wow, talk about romantic,” Julia appraised her friend’s purchase with a grin.
“Ooh, squirrels!” Tamara pointed at a pair of gray squirrels running along the branches of the chestnut. “I’m so gonna feed them.”
“No, you are so not,” Michael said.
“I’m not? Why not? Will I get a fine like you?”
“No, but you’ll be harassed by a whole bunch of obnoxious squirrels. They’re everywhere. If you feed one, they’ll get all their buddies and run off with our food.”
Moritz sniggered maliciously. “Robbed by rodents,” he intoned. “You think the police will believe us if we report it to them?”
The group sat down laughing and chatting but Axel peered at the horizon and frowningly pointed out a few dark storm clouds gathering in the west. “Guys, that doesn’t look good. I think we’re gonna be caught in a thunderstorm.”
Florian grabbed his arm and pulled him down. “Just sit down, thou Prophet of Doom. We’ll be fine.”
Twenty minutes later, as a lightning flash zigzagged through the gloomy skies and the first drops of rain started to fall, Axel shot his friend a stoic look. “Prophet of Doom, huh?” he said calmly.
“Get lost,” Florian snapped back. They rushed to fold the picnic blankets and gather the food as the rain really started to pelt down. Julia broke into a run as they exited the part of the green shielded by trees and made it back to the hotel first. Good to know she wasn’t completely out of shape.
