The Quiet Game

by Cassandra Hallman

  I closed the laptop, unable to read anymore. I turn to Jaxon who grabs me and holds me to his chest. I don’t know why I am crying, why this feels like I’m losing my mom again. I knew my parents were dead, but somehow knowing how it happened is closing another door. I don’t think I was ever able to completely mourn the loss of my mother until now. I cry for so long that my eyes feel raw and I have a pounding headache. I don’t know when I stop sobbing but when I am done I somehow feel better. Maybe I just needed a good cry or maybe it’s the fact that Jaxon is still holding me. His shirt now wet with my tears, but he doesn’t seem to care. The sun is starting to rise by the time I fell back asleep and this time it is a dreamless slumber that awaits me.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Elisa

  My reflection in the mirror looks foreign to me this morning. I’m wearing a blouse with a matching cardigan and a pencil skirt as my bottoms. Jen chose to match that with some nude high heels which only make me more unsteady. She also pulled my hair back into a neat bun and put some makeup on my face. I’m holding on to the sink with both of my hands until the small panic attack subsides. I am so close to having the life I could’ve only dreamed of. Fredrick said that there should not be a problem, that everything is in my favor and my petition for emancipation should be approved today. Of course, I can’t help having doubts. As I know from experience, if something is too good to be true, it usually is. Another reason I am freaking out is the fact that I have to overcome my five-word rule today. If the judge asks me questions I have to answer him. The thought of doing so fills me with dread. I know I am being ridiculous, this rule is nothing more than a game I made up in my head. Nothing is going to happen if I say more than five words today. Still, I can't get this feeling of wrongness out of me.

  I know I can’t hide much longer inside the juvenile courts bathroom before someone comes looking for me. I straighten up, force in a deep breath and walk back out into the large hallway.

  Jaxon, Frederick, Jen, Brad and Christine are all waiting for me there. Jaxon called and explained everything to my current foster parents and they were more than happy to come and support me. The big wooden door that leads into the court room opens and a police officer appears. “Elisa Parker?”

  “Yes.” I step forward.

  “We are ready for you now.” He says and leads us into the room.

  Frederick and I walk all the way upfront and stand at a small podium facing the judge. Everybody else takes a seat on the bench behind us.

  I nervously intertwine my fingers in front of me. The judge is an older man with a white beard and squared glasses sitting on the tip of his nose. He is still looking down at a folder when he starts talking.

  “Miss Parker, I received your petition and read through all the documents that you have provided. I am aware of the fact that you have recently acquired partial ownership of an establishment that allows you financial independence."

  He pauses and looks up at me for the first time.

  I look at him nodding when Fredrick softly elbows my arm.

  “Yes, your Honor.” I say quickly and loudly, just like he had taught me to say it, earlier this morning.

  “Mhh,” the judge nods and flips some pages.

  “I have also received a police report saying that you have recently been the victim of a kidnapping and that you witnessed the murder of one of your caregivers. Is that true, Miss Parker?”

  I try to swallow but there is no spit in my mouth, making it hard for me to speak.

  “Yes, your Honor.” My voice is already wavering. I know he is going to say no now. Who in the world sent him the police report? Who knew that I was even doing this?

  The judge continues to shovel around the papers a few more times before continuing.

  “Taken in consideration all I have learned today, I have come to the conclusion that it would be in your best interest to stay with a foster family who can support you after you experienced such a difficult ordeal. Unfortunately, I have to deny your petition of emancipation at this time, but I do wish you all the best Miss Parker.”

  He says the words but there is no meaning to them. He is talking in such a monotone voice I don’t think he cares at all about my wishes and what is best for me.

  I'm not sure if I am more mad or more disappointed. Frederick shakes his head next to me, his mouth drawn into a tight line. When I turn around I see that Jen looks disappointed while Jaxon is clearly more mad than anything. Brad and Christine just look worried. We walk out of the courtroom together in silence, all of our heads down in defeat. When we are back out of the hallway I look up toward the exit and that's when I catch his eyes. Robert Coleman is about to walk out the door, but he is looking back over his shoulder right at me. He has the biggest most evil smirk on his face.

  I tighten my grip on Jaxon's arm who just now looks up.

  “I’m gonna fucking kill him,” He says under his breath. I half expect him to go after Coleman, but to my relieve he is not making an attempt to leave my side.

  “So, I guess we are moving to plan B?” Frederick asks all matter of fact.

  I look up at him confused. I never heard of a plan B, but I am already discouraged, since plan A worked out so miserably.

  “I probably should ask her first.” Jaxon chimes in.

  “That would be preferable, there is only so much I can do legally.”

  Jaxon turns to me grabbing hold of both of my hands into his.

  “Elisa, look I didn’t tell you about this before because I didn’t want you to feel pressured into anything. Also, I didn’t want you to say yes for the wrong reason and I didn’t want you to think I am asking you for the wrong reasons either. You got to believe me when I tell you I want this, more than anything.”

  “Ok.” I tell him, still trying to figure out what he is talking about.

  “So, there are other ways to get emancipated, that are actually much easier than what we were trying to do.”

  Now I am even more confused, why didn’t we do the easy thing first?

  “You would be automatically emancipated if you get married. The age of consent to get married is sixteen in this state, all we need is Brad and Christine’s signature and we already have that.”

  “Wait, you want to marry me?”

  “Well, I was going to ask you first but since you just so rudely beat me to it. Yes, Elisa Marie Parker, I want to marry you.”

  He is looking at me in expectation, like he is waiting for me to say something in return but I can’t get a word out. I am dizzy from the rollercoaster ride of emotions.

  “Elisa, I have basically loved you since I can remember. Of course, I loved you in a different way when we were children but love has been between us never the less. I never wanted anything more than to take care of you, love you, keep you safe and make you happy. So, I am asking you now, will you please marry me?”

  I think my heart is about to explode. A form of joy and happiness is spreading through my body like I have never known it before. I feel a tear running down my face and I realize that for all the times I have cried, this is the first time in my life I am crying because of happiness.

  “Yes, I want to marry you.” I can barely get out the words before Jaxon swoops me up into his arm.

  When He puts me back down I look around to see Jen and Christine teared up. Brad is standing next to his wife with a relieved look on his face and Frederick already has some more papers in his hand, waiting on us to take them from him.

  I grab the stack and read the first page. It's a marriage license.

  “Like I said, we were ready for plan B.” He said proudly.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Elisa

  They were not joking when they said they were ready for this. Apparently, I was the only one who didn’t know about this plan B. Jen included a simple but elegant, white summer dress in her shopping spree that is neatly hanging in the back of Hunter’s truck. I change in the bathroom after we walk over to the courthouse next doo
r. Jaxon was already wearing some dapper suit so he is ready to go. Frederick had made an appointment beforehand and we are in the courtroom to get married before I can wrap my head around what is happening. It might not be a fairy tale wedding to anyone looking in but it is to me. All my hopes and dreams come true as soon as we exchanged our vows and the court official announces us husband and wife.

  I look at the silver diamond studded wedding band around my finger when we are walking outside hand in hand. Of course, he had thought about that as well. I wonder how long he was planning this when Jen come up my side.

  “I am so happy for you. Seriously, I’m a little jealous of course, but only like ten percent. Ninety percent I am happy for you!” She says genuinely. Then she continues in a lower tone.

  “Hunter will take me back home now.”

  I stop walking and look at Jen in surprise.

  “I really need to go back and I can’t stay with you guys on your wedding night.” She says with a wink.

  My wedding night? I am pretty sure my cheeks just turned three shades redder than the blush Jen put one this morning.

  When we get to the parking lot Jen gives me a long hug and tells me again how happy she is for me. Hunter and I share a rushed awkward hug before both of them get in his car and drive off leaving me and my now husband to start our new life together.

  We get in the car and start driving home. We are barley out of the parking lot when Jaxon starts asking me questions about the future.

  “Don’t you think the apartment is too small for two people? We could buy a nice little house with a backyard.”

  His sweet gesture makes me smile. Of course, he has been longing for a place to call home. A place to share with someone you love and who loves you back. I know exactly how he feels because I have been craving the same thing.

  “Your apartment is literally the nicest place I have stayed in, so I don’t mind living there, but I would not mind getting a house eventually. It does sound very nice. Honestly, I will be happy wherever we are as long as you are there with me.” I tell him truthfully.

  “First of all, it is our apartment now, not mine. Second, you are right. I will be happy wherever we live, as long as we are together.”

  Then our conversation leads us to the club and how Jaxon wants to make some changes.

  “From now on, I won’t let anyone sell or use drugs at the Bunker. I will not allow prostitution either.” He tells me reassuringly.

  “What about the fighting?”

  He stills and I can see his knuckles whiten as his grip tightens on the steering wheel.

  “I don’t know if I can stop.” He admits.

  “It’s kind of an outlet for me.”

  “I just don’t want you to get hurt. I worry about you.”

  I try to voice my concern the best I can. I don’t want him to think I try to tell him what to do, I am just worried about him.

  He parks the car in front of our apartment complex and cuts of the engine. He turns to me and cups my face with both of his hand.

  “Let’s make another deal. I stop fighting, when you start talking.”

  “I do talk, to you.” I give him the sweetest smile I got, hoping to get out of this. Of course, I know exactly what he is saying. I am just not sure if I am ready to talk to everyone. Probably less ready than Jaxon is to give up fighting.

  We get out of the car and walk upstairs. I basically jump Jaxon as soon as we stepped into the apartment. I wrap my arm around him, pulling his face to mine. In between kisses he tells me, “you know we don’t have to do this, right?”

  “I want to do this!” I want to share everything with him. I want all of him and I want to give him all of me.

  We move to bedroom, somehow managing not to stop kissing on the way. We bump into the couch once and into a wall twice while we move closer to our destination. When we make it to the bedroom, I feel him grab the top of my zipper behind me. He slowly drags it down, skimming his fingers down my back with it. The world could stop spinning right now and I would not notice. I feel like some fire inside me just got lit and is burning me up from the inside. It started in my belly but now it spread throughout my body, reaching all the way to my fingertips. I have never felt so…, just everything. My dress falls to the floor and I make a mental note to send Jen a gift basket for buying me and making me wear this new cute underwear. I start to unbutton the top of his dress shirt but my inconsiderate fingers don’t work right. My mind and my body seem to be out of sync at the moment. Stupid buttons! I think Jaxon is enjoying me fumbling with his buttons until apparently, he gets inpatient as well. As soon as I got the top button undone he grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it over his head. I have seen him shirtless before but somehow this is different. I am more aware now and this time we are shirtless together. We fall onto the bed together, his body covering mine. Pure bliss washes over me. I have never felt so content and unrestricted before.

  I thought I would be nervous tonight but I am not. Having sex turned out to be the least nerve racking thing that I have done in weeks. Like always Jaxon makes me feel safe and comfortable. I don’t know how I was ever able to live without having him in my life.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  It’s the first day after the summer and I am back at my old school. Most people ignore me and act like they don’t know me when I walk through the hallway. I am perfectly fine with that. One or two girls looks at me with a faint interest but don’t approach me. I’m holding my book back tightly in front of me when I walk into my classroom ten minutes too early. I do that on purpose so I can take a seat in the very back of the room. I sit and wait for everybody else to get here. One by one my classmates stroll in, most of them visibly tired and annoyed to be back at school. I wish Jen was here, taking the seat next to me. She had spend a lot of time with us this summer and we texted every day when she was not here, just like we promised each other, but she insisted on going back when school started. She said she didn’t want to be the third wheel and that was also the reason she would ask Hunter to pick her up and take her back for visits. Of course, I know she had alternative motives.

  Finally, my English teacher Mrs. Gray comes in and gives everybody a friendly, upbeat greeting.

  “Elisa, it is so good to have you back this year.” She tells me when her eyes catch me in the back. Then she goes on to take attendance, the moment I have been dreading. Maybe no one will notice and not ask me a million questions.

  Mrs. Gray starts going through the names. Then she gets to my name.

  “Elisa Par…” She suddenly halts. “Oh Elisa, did you get adopted?” She asks me curiously. I shake my head.

  “Oh? How come your last name changed?” She asked me in confusion, looking very intrigued. Some other students look equally intrigued as they turn their heads to look at me.

  “I got married.” I answer in a quiet voice. That gotten everybody’s attention. Not a head in this classroom remains unturned. All eyes are on me. Some searching my hand for a ring and their eyes widen even more when they spot the diamond band gracefully decorating my slender ring finger. There is a dead silence in the room until Mrs. Gray breaks it with a gasp. “Wow! Isn’t that something. Well, ah…, congratulations.” She said the last thing almost like a question, like she isn’t sure what to say about it.

  Then she continues down her list, still seeming a little flabbergasted by my announcement. I don’t really care what everybody thinks. They wouldn’t understand what me and Jaxon have anyways.

  I try to keep my head down the rest of the school day but the news of me being married spreads through the school like a wildfire. People would be less shocked about a pregnancy than sixteen-year-old getting married. Even though lots of people assume that I am also knocked up I learn from loud whispers through the hallway. I also catch people taking about my husband being some old ugly rich guy that promised me a better life. Apparently, the imagination knows no end regarding my situation. I don’t know how many people I have had come up to me
today but I can guarantee it is more today than in all of my past school years combined. Most are simply curious and want to know why, some express genuine concern and only few make actually smart-ass or mean comments to my face. My favorite so far “So is your husband going to come to parent-teacher conferences now?” I only find that one amusing because I can’t help imagining Jaxon showing up here to talk to a flustered Mrs. Gray about my grades.

  The school bell finally rings, I gather my stuff and walk out the door. More people try to come up to me, asking me questions but I just keep walking, trying to wave them off or give them a nervous smile while shaking my head.

  A soon as I am outside I can see Jaxon across the school yard, waiting for me, leaning against his car. I instantly feel a tad less stressed out about the whole day. I walk faster than my normal walking speed, trying to get to him and out of here as fast as possible. When I am almost at the car he opens the passenger door for me and waves me inside with a bow.

  “My Lady.” He announces loudly.

  My nostrils flair, I am so mad at him right now. He knows I don't like any kind of scene that draws attention to me. I quickly get into the car and buckle up. He closes the door behind me. Just when I thought we couldn’t possible attract any more attention, he casually slides across the hood of the car like a movie action star. He lands smoothly on his feet, of the driver side of the car and gets in. I stare straight ahead, trying not to look back at all the people staring at us.

  “Excuse you, did you not just see the awesome slide I did?” Jaxon asks me like he is in solemn disbelief. I try to hold in a smile but the corners of my mouth go up uncontrollably. I look at him with a big stupid grin on my face now. He knew exactly what he was doing like he always knows how to cheer me up and make me feel better. He gives me a quick kiss on the lips and just like that all the nervous und uncomfortable feeling I have been dealing with all day are gone. He pulls away but I grab his face, pulling him back to me. I don’t care anymore who is watching and what they are saying. I love this man, my husband, and I don’t want him to ever let me go.