Fade

by A. K. Morgen

  He nudged my legs apart and slipped between them, pressing against me.

  I cried out against his lips at that contact, a hurricane now raging through me. How could my body contain so much without exploding apart at the seams?

  Dace sucked my lip into his mouth, nipping, and then kissed along my jaw. His breaths were as shallow as my own, and mine were little more than shaky inhalations. Each one seemed full of him as he nuzzled at my neck and painted kisses down my throat before his tongue flicked across that same pounding pulse point. I think I melted beneath him as his teeth raked across my throat and traveled lower.

  My heart stopped when he dipped his tongue into the hollow between my breasts to stroke a lazy line across my heart. I arched my hips into his, searching for something beyond my reach, beyond my understanding. Air hissed between his teeth, and he nipped at my skin less gently. His entire aura kissed me, stroking like fingers everywhere his body pressed to mine. It felt like fire and ice and perfection.

  He ran his mouth lightly across the fabric of my bra, the look in his eyes wicked.

  I cried out his name, my head thrashing against the couch arm. The sensation that slammed into me as he pressed his hips firmly against me drove all thought beyond wanting—needing—to feel it again from my mind. I was spiraling out of control, and I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop.

  He raked his teeth across my bra, pulling my skin into his mouth through the fabric and biting.

  I nearly sobbed when he burrowed into my mind. Sensation poured into me like water from a faucet, not what I felt, or even what he felt. It was what we felt, ripping through me until I couldn’t see straight. The wolf didn’t try to get in this time. He didn’t make a move toward me, but he howled in my head, as if he fully supported what Dace did to me and was content to let it happen.

  Dace grabbed my hip and swung it off him, spinning me in one of those moves my mind moved too slowly to grasp. It caught up as he leaned back on the couch with me straddling his lap and my arms braced on each side of his head. I growled, frustrated, that the pressure I wanted was no longer where I needed it to be. I pressed down onto his legs eagerly but to no avail.

  Dace chuckled darkly and lifted me higher, his hands digging into my bottom and his fingers kneading through my sweats.

  “Patience, love,” he whispered, guiding my body closer to him.

  I moaned his name as he trailed his tongue along my left side, then raked his teeth across my abdomen. My entire body actually quivered in response. This is what I’d felt in those memories. The way he’d loved me beyond reason for lifetimes. His feelings for me were as gentle as waving grass and as fierce as a thunderstorm. His love was endless, unashamed, and right.

  Everything in me wanted more. More, more, more. More of Dace, more of his kisses, and his passion. More of everything.

  He snaked one of his strong hands around my waist and skirted the very tip of his finger playfully beneath the waistband of my sweats. A new wave of sensation stabbed through me, causing my stomach to flip wildly.

  His eyes blazed up at me. “You like that,” he said, and then repeated the same motion.

  I wanted to tell him how very much I liked it, but couldn’t find the words through the haze of pleasure rolling through my mind. I didn’t need words anyway. Dace felt my response quaking through me.

  The answering groan ripping from his throat was more expressive than words would ever be. He lifted me until I straddled precariously over him. His tongue darted out to lick along that same line his hand had taken.

  My head lolled backward.

  The waistband of my sweats inched down beneath his hands. His tongue swirled around my hipbone, lapped a line across my stomach so deliciously low that I did sob this time. When his teeth raked a return path across that same skin, I cried out his name.

  His mouth closed over my hipbone, his teeth sinking gently into my flesh.

  You belong to me, he growled as he’d done the very first time I met him. I wasn’t sure if the words came from him or the wolf, but it didn’t matter either way. I belonged to both of them.

  The world exploded suddenly and unexpectedly around me as he pressed his hand against me. I felt like I’d been flung high into the air and let go. Sensation rained down around me, wave after wave of it boiling through me, turning my bones to mush and then leaving them behind.

  “Feel it, love,” Dace crooned aloud as another wave and then another followed on the heels of the first. His emotions pulsed like a tangled knot in my head as he continued to touch me. Pride, pleasure, and his utter satisfaction at seeing his faint mark on my skin and his hand where no other had ever been all rocked through me like a sonic boom.

  “You belong to me, Arionna,” he whispered fiercely. “To me.”

  I returned to myself what felt like an eternity later, with my body splayed across the couch and my head cradled against Dace’s stomach while his hands stroked through my hair. I opened my eyes to find him staring down at me, his expression as triumphant and honest as his words had been. His green eyes burned with fierce lights.

  My stomach flipped again.

  I tried to smile, but couldn’t get the muscles in my face to cooperate. “I do belong to you,” I mumbled, unable to fully form the words.

  He heard my confession anyway, and his eyes blazed brighter. He smiled at me and stroked a hand down my cheek very gently. He was a ball of ecstasy in my head, as if my admission gave him more pleasure than what he’d managed to give me.

  “Sleep, love,” he said.

  His wolf rumbled his agreement.

  My eyes fell closed.

  I felt him shift beneath me. “Don’t go,” I cried out, the words thick and garbled. I tried to reach for him. “Don’t leave me.”

  “I’m not leaving you.” He pulled me into his arms, adjusting positions with me cradled to his chest. I felt him stretch out beside me on the deep sofa. My body curled immediately, naturally, around his. My worry evaporated.

  “I’ll never leave you,” he promised, his voice thick with emotion.

  Sleep claimed me.

  I awoke slowly, feeling more rested and warm than I had in a long time. Something tickled at the back of my mind, something important, but I ignored the sensation. Too comfortable to attempt chasing it down. The feeling was not so easy to ignore though.

  I sighed and cracked open my eyes. My dark purple curtains were missing, and I wasn’t in my bed. Realization came in a blink.

  Dace lay beside me.

  “Oh, hell,” I squeaked, jerking back as the implications of that rang through me like a gong.

  His arm snaked around my waist, pulling me to him as I nearly fell off the couch. “Don’t go,” he groaned, sounding sleepy and cuddling against my back. “You feel good.” He nuzzled at my neck, his breath warm in my ear. “And your father isn’t freaking out,” he said, hearing the frantic circling of my thoughts.

  His words cut through the panic, immediately silencing all of it.

  “He’s not?” I frowned and tried to sit up. “Let me go.”

  He tightened his arm around me, growling, and I swatted at him.

  “Ungh,” he grumbled, and then huffed. He sat up suddenly, pulling me onto his lap and cracking open one eye. “Happy now?” He looked so sleepy and rumbled.

  My heart fluttered.

  First things first, I chided myself.

  “Why isn’t he freaking out?”

  “Because you’re an adult, and he thinks I’m awesome,” Dace said around a yawn, his tone trying, and failing, to tease. He was definitely not a morning person.

  I frowned at him.

  “Because we’re both more or less dressed, and I lied. I lied like the wind,” he said as I glared.

  More or less dressed? My face flushed as I remembered the shirt he removed last night. And then I realized I had my shirt on, but my shoes were missing. “You got me dressed?”

  I didn’t remember that.

  “It seemed wisest,”
he said, yawning again.

  I remained silent, trying to reconcile my mind to the news that Dad hadn’t freaked out about Dace sleeping in the same bed, or couch, as me. All night long, if the faint light coming in through the window was any indication. I couldn’t quite imagine it though.

  “Arionna,” Dace said, shaking his head, “he’s a college professor. And he trusts you. He trusts me with you.”

  I tried to absorb that, then giggled.

  “Maybe he shouldn’t,” I said around my giggle, unable to hold the memories back any longer. If I lived a thousand more lifetimes, I would never feel anything comparable with anyone else. Ever.

  The thought reminded me of something. I frowned, glancing up at Dace from beneath my lashes. “Why didn’t we—?” My cheeks flamed, and I broke off, unable to finish the question.

  He didn’t speak for a minute, seeming more tense than he had been moments ago. He shifted beneath me before wrapping his arms around me again. “I told you, only when you won’t regret it.”

  Oh. I swallowed and then nodded as all the reasons I might have regretted it skipped through my mind. He’d let me in a little, but we still had a long way to go.

  “I have a confession to make,” I whispered, nervous.

  “Hmm?”

  “I didn’t walk home the other day, at least not all the way.” I closed my eyes, scared to see his expression. “I got a ride.”

  He waited for the rest of it.

  “With Ronan,” I mumbled, barely able to force out the faint words.

  He tightened his hold on me then relaxed.

  “I know,” he said, his voice incredibly calm.

  “You know?” I popped my eyes open, trying to scrutinize his expression. He seemed calm, patient, and resigned. “You aren’t angry?”

  “At you? No.” He smiled that crooked, half smile and stroked his thumb down my cheek.

  I frowned, confused by his reaction. I’d been sure he would be furious with me for my reckless stupidity.

  “I hurt you,” he whispered as he stroked my cheek. Remorse filled his eyes. “I never should have left you there like I did. I’m very sorry for that, and I’m very sorry you had to ride with him because of it.”

  That was it? No anger? No accusations? No asking me what in the world I’d been thinking?

  “You’re not angry?” I questioned, just to make sure I hadn’t awoken in some alternate universe where Dace acted reasonable.

  “I’m not angry,” he said. “Or not at you,” he amended, still tracing his thumb up and down my cheek. “I felt frantic when you didn’t answer the phone, but now that I’ve seen you for myself, held you for myself”—he tightened his arms around me and offered me that crooked smile of his again—”I’m better.”

  I snuggled against his chest, relieved.

  “It was very foolish of you though,” he whispered after a minute. “Even if he isn’t Sköll or Hati, he’s dangerous.”

  “I was angry,” I admitted with a sigh. “I didn’t think about the danger until after I got in the car.” I frowned. “He didn’t try anything. He barely even spoke to me.”

  I still didn’t get what his behavior had been about. The way he acted had been odd. I decided it didn’t matter. Not yet anyway.

  “I have a question.”

  “I have an answer,” he teased, his voice light, amused.

  “How could you …” I stopped, thinking. “Last night, you said you stayed out of my mind. Why didn’t you—?”

  “Why didn’t I look in?” He guessed, amusement still lacing his tone.

  I nodded.

  “Because you were right.”

  “About what?”

  “How unfair it is that I get to know everything you’re thinking and feeling but you don’t get to know the same. I hurt you. It wouldn’t have been fair to peek into your mind to see how much damage I caused.” He pressed his lips to my forehead before continuing, “Not knowing made me realize how hypocritical I’ve been all along. I wanted to know what you were thinking more than anything, and I leave you feeling that way all the time.”

  “You do,” I said softly.

  “I know.” He sighed. “And I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Arionna. That’s the last thing I wanted to do. Your mind is fascinating. When things get tense, I concentrate on the chatter running through your mind, and it calms me. I think the wolf feels the same way. He’s calmer since he hurt you. I think it upset him quite a lot that we made you think we blamed you for Chiran’s death.”

  He sounded surprised as he said this, as if being in agreement with the wolf was a new concept to him. In a way, I guess he did feel that way. He had never before been on the same page as his wolf.

  “I told you so,” I mumbled, rubbing my face against the stubble on his cheek, liking the way his whiskers scratched at my skin. I knew he didn’t trust the wolf yet; he’d told me as much last night. But at least he’d made a little progress.

  “You did,” he said, running a hand through my tangled hair. “I should listen to you more often.”

  “You should,” I agreed. “I am pretty smart.”

  “Yes, you are.” He smiled at me crookedly again. “Very smart.”

  We were silent for a few minutes, enjoying the easy peace flowing between us. Our connection was stronger than ever before. I reveled in it, and in the ease that came with it. Being with him like this, him talking to me about how he felt, was what I needed. The newfound understanding between us made me hopeful he’d let me in without reservation some day.

  “I have classes today,” I said, considering blowing them off and then thinking better of it. Skipping classes on the first day would be the worst possible way to start a new semester at a new school, especially since they’d already been delayed because of what had happened to Dani. “Do you want breakfast?”

  “What do you have in mind?”

  Cereal. “Um.” I thought through the possibilities. “I think we have eggs.”

  “What do you normally eat for breakfast?”

  “Cereal and fruit,” I said with a small grin, knowing he’d already heard me.

  Dace grinned back. “Cereal and fruit is fine, but only if it’s Lucky Charms or Cookie Crisps.” His eyes gleamed.

  “No fair!” I laughed and poked him in the chest. “You cheated!”

  “Maybe,” he said, swinging to his feet and pulling me up with him. “I never said I wouldn’t peek occasionally, love.”

  Somehow I didn’t mind that. I laughed, lacing my fingers with his as we made our way into the kitchen and to breakfast.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  When I arrived at my first class of the day, Human Origins and Prehistory, I learned there were a grand total of eleven present in the class. From what I gathered from Professor Ryan, he expected no one else. That surprised me in a good way. The classes at my last school had been a bit larger and felt a lot more impersonal.

  My fellow classmates were subdued, and Professor Ryan’s attempts at humor fell flat. I couldn’t concentrate on the material he tried to sound excited about. He failed to engage me, not because he wasn’t engaging—he might have been—but simply because I couldn’t pay enough attention to decide one way or another. My mind was not on principles of anthropology and refused my pathetic attempts to force it to attention. My thoughts were with Dace and the bizarre start to my morning.

  Dad strolled in while Dace filled two bowls with Lucky Charms, and I sliced apples and strawberries. He whistled cheerfully and bobbed his head to some imaginary tune. My face heated as he dropped a kiss on my forehead and instructed Dace to get with the coffee.

  Dace grinned at me as if to say “I told you so” while Dad prowled through the fridge. I stuck out my tongue at him and finished filling a bowl with fruit.

  Sitting down to breakfast between them was awkward for me, and not at all for them. The easy, solid camaraderie between them was evident as they chatted about the new semester. The depth of their friendship became even
more evident as they bounced around ideas for the novel.

  Dad wanted to explore the rise to popularity of myth in popular culture. Dace argued the topic was too complex to fit into what they were already doing. Dad still chewed that over when Dace rose to leave.

  I deposited our bowls in the sink, relieved. Not because Dace was leaving, but because I couldn’t handle sitting between them for another minute. The entire situation felt surreal. I knew Dad could be cool and all, but really! Not a single raised eyebrow or furtive, worried glance? What the hell?

  Lingering at the front door, Dace tilted my face and gave me a goodbye kiss.

  “Will I see you on campus?” I asked.

  “Possibly,” he said against my lips. He tasted like apples and sugar. “I’ll be there from ten to eleven. Call me if you need me, okay?” He cupped my cheek in his palm and gazed down at me. “You’ll do great, love.”

  I nodded against his hand, hoping that was true.

  He smiled and kissed me deeply once more. “When is your last class?”

  “Um, two thirty,” I answered, distracted by his kisses.

  “Want to meet some of the other shifters after it’s over?” He pulled back to look at me. “I want to talk to them about Chiran.” His eyes clouded.

  “Sure,” I said, faking nonchalance, my stomach fluttering.

  “You’ll be fine.” He kissed me hard on the mouth.

  I nodded my hesitant agreement as he jogged down the steps to the Jeep. Knowing there were others like Dace and seeing them around town was one thing; meeting them officially was another thing altogether. What if they didn’t think I belonged? Or resented my presence?

  “Ari?” Dad called from the kitchen as I worried over the problem.

  I knew he hadn’t been as cool about Dace staying as he acted. I just knew it! My feet dragged on the way to the kitchen.

  “Yeah?” I asked, shuffling to the sink to take care of the dishes while he finished his coffee. I couldn’t have this conversation while looking him in the eye.