Falling Into Love

by TC Rybicki

  “Your floors are heated.”

  “Touché,” Dane touched my cheek. I felt a familiar pull toward him. I fought it every step of the way, but today my resistance was low.

  “Well, well, there’s certainly a lot of concern for Frisco and his family going on in here.”

  “What do you want?”

  “I just wanted to be a friend and let you know who you’re dealing with Sydney. You’re new to these parts.”

  Dane stepped away from me. “Knock it off, Nina.”

  I wasn’t sure about Nina’s games, “Ha, you hate me. What possible friendly advice could you offer?”

  “Well, I might hate you, but a frenemy is better than a low-down, lying womanizer like Dane Ellsworth. Let me save you a bit of trouble. It’s obvious you haven’t given it up yet or he wouldn’t be here today. This.” Nina motioned between Dane and me, “is what he does. He uses women, for money or pleasure, take your pick. I’m guessing with you it has something to do with Josie’s land. That’s what his Daddy wants more than anything. The whole town knows about it. Kick him to the curb now or feel the sting of unworthiness. That’s my free advice for today.”

  “Shut up. Dane is my best friend, and I don’t trust a word out of your mouth. He’s protecting Gram and me from Paul because he’s a good man.”

  “Syd… come on. I don’t need you to defend me.” I couldn’t help it. I wanted to stand up for Dane. Nina was a bitch from day one. She didn’t care about my feelings. I had no idea what her motives were, but after a few seconds studying the looks back and forth between Dane and Nina, the realization set in.

  “But you said…” Dane’s expression changed. He looked away from me. That wasn’t what I was used to. Dane normally faced me. We were honest always.

  Nina started laughing which only made things worse. She enjoyed being the one to tell me, to make me look stupid. I was a stupid kid to them.

  “Awe, look at her. She might cry. Bestie failed to mention he used to bang me, make me think I was the only one until he found the next piece of ass. That’s what he does. Just like his Daddy has a reputation for stealing properties, Dane is notorious for other dealings. You’re picking out young ones now, I see. Double shame.”

  “Nina, you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. Leave her alone.”

  “You were sleeping with her? But you said she wasn’t your girlfriend.” I hated the whine in my voice, but I couldn’t hide it.

  “Oh my God. This is priceless. Are you sure you’re grown, little girl? Bless your little rich naïve heart. Dane did little sleeping when he visited me from college.”

  He wasn’t my boyfriend. I had no right to be mad about his slut encounters. It was just the fact the Dane skirted the truth much like the day he used his middle name instead of his last name. I thought we were past petty shit like that. Now I was stuck in the middle of Gram’s kitchen being ridiculed as Nina blindsided me. There was nothing I hated worse than humiliation.

  “What in tarnation is happening in here? Doesn’t everyone have a job to do?”

  Nina swapped her snide disposition for someone remotely human. “Yes, Ms. Josie, just checking in to see if Syd needed help with food. She says she has it covered with the handsome Mr. Ellsworth. I’m on my way to Frisco’s to check on the poor grandmother. I’ll send your love. Anything else I can do? I’m not working until seven tonight?”

  “No thanks, Hun, checking on them is good enough for now. Thanks so much.”

  “Anything for you and Frisco. Bye Sydney, Dane. You should totally come by Allen’s some night. Ask for me. I’d be happy to take care of you. Oops, sorry. I forgot. You’ll have to get your hand stamped since you’re underage. Oh well, you don’t embarrass easily. No biggie.”

  I tried to turn away, so I could make a run for it, but Dane grabbed my arm. “Let go of me.”

  “Not until you listen to me.”

  “Gram.”

  “Boy, let go of her wrist. What the hell is wrong with you two? I thought you were in here making a grocery list.”

  “We were, but Nina was being ugly to Sydney. We’ll head out soon. I just needed to talk to Sydney a minute.”

  “Forget it. I’m going shopping by myself.”

  “Oh, dear God in heaven. It’s like I traveled back in time. Whatever is wrong, fix it away from my sight. I’m too old to live this again.”

  Gram walked off. I had no idea what she even meant. All I knew was I wanted away from Dane as fast as possible.

  “Sydney. I can explain.”

  “I don’t need an explanation. I only needed the truth from the start. Then none of this would have been awkward. Instead, she enjoyed rubbing all that in my face, and she made me look like an idiot. That’s on you. It’s all your fault.”

  “Fine. I was a coward. You asked if she had been my girlfriend. I told the truth. We were never official. The first couple of years at college were an adjustment. I came back home more often than I should. Allen’s is one of the few bars around here that has it all and she’s right you don’t have to be 21 to play pool or dance. They have decent food. I went there to hang out and I remembered Nina from school. She was mature for her age.”

  My eyes rolled back in my head until they hurt.

  “I was an idiot. It only happened a few times over the course of Sophomore year then I got a girlfriend at school. She tried to make offers the next time she saw me, and I politely turned her down. Nina didn’t like that even though I’m certain she had plenty of other interested parties. She got a little stalkerish, and I had to block her from calling and that’s the gist of it. She thinks I used her. We used each other. It wasn’t even a fling.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me when we talked about her a length before?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Liar. You know.”

  “Maybe I do know the reason, but guess what? My reason aligns with your reason for being pissed right now, and I doubt you’re ready to admit the truth about what’s happening with us either.”

  “I have no idea what you mean.”

  “Liar. Call Grant.”

  “Go to hell.”

  “Fine, but you’re going with me.” With no warning, Dane swept me off my feet and tossed me over his shoulder. I screamed bloody murder and pounded his back the whole way. I saw Gram from upside down.

  She was shaking her head. “Buy plenty, enough for ten solid meals.”

  “Will do, Ms. Josie. We’re preparing at my place.”

  “No, we’re not. Gram, help! Dane’s kidnapping me. Stop him.”

  “Not today, sweetie. I have too much on my mind. I reckon I won’t wait up tonight. See you in the morning for church.”

  I could feel Sydney’s rage. It was written all over her face. Apologies were said and done. She wasn’t getting over it right away. Now we were getting somewhere. Not telling her the full story about Nina wasn’t a ploy, but seeing her reaction meant I was close to having her admit her true feelings.

  I wanted her to call that dumb fuck, Grant and say they were over. She didn’t have to say why; she just had to get the job done. We were having a great summer together, and Sydney honestly was a best friend to me. She was also way more. I knew it. Sydney knew it, but we both lied, and of course, we always stopped short of doing anything too intimate. That was the thing, every incidental or purposeful touch with her now felt intimate. Maintaining my control was a losing battle.

  “Are you working on that list yet or you just going to sit and pout?”

  “I hate you right now.”

  “Good. It’s the first step to admitting how you really feel. I’m thinking spaghetti, chili mac, maybe an enchilada casserole. Also, breaded chicken. Kids love nuggets, don’t they?”

  “How would I know? Nina is the babysitting expert. Why don’t you call her for that advice?”

  “Sydney, I’m not calling Nina. I don’t want to talk to her, see her again or anything in between. It was six years ago, a few meaningless hooku
ps. I’m sorry for the way that sounds, but I went through a phase. Most guys do.”

  “Whatever. I hardly care.”

  “Yes, you do. Have you asked yourself why?” She crossed her arms over her chest and puffed up a little more. “You’re jealous.”

  She tossed her head back and said, “HA!” in the most sarcastic fashion. “I’m fine in my relationship with Grant. I don’t have time to be jealous of your insignificant past or present.”

  I echoed her elaborate, “HA!”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You know what it means. Your relationship with Grant is in the tank and for the life of me, I don’t know what you’re hanging onto.”

  Sydney whipped out her phone and started typing away. I assumed she was working on our list. She didn’t respond to my truth bomb. Ten minutes later, I pulled into the store parking lot. I hopped out and ran around the truck. I wasn’t letting her out just yet. Sydney was still working on the list.

  “Give me five more minutes, please.”

  I covered her phone with my hand and pushed it aside. “First, you give me five minutes.”

  I had to pull her chin up because she was staring at her lap. “Look at me.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  I tilted her face. She pinched her eyes tight first. I touched her eyelid and Sydney’s eyes finally opened to meet mine. “I’m sorry. Nina is a bitch. You knew that already. Don’t let her get to you. I can’t take back what happened, or that I hid the truth, but I need you to realize hurting you is always the last thing on my mind. I want to take care of you, build you up and enjoy your company. We’re better than this. We aren’t spoiling our friendship over a stupid argument.”

  I was standing in the door of my truck. Sydney swung her legs around and opened her knees to let me get closer. I wrapped my arms around her, and she didn’t resist. “Don’t lie to me again, Dane. I need at least one person in this world that won’t let me down.”

  “That’s me. I swear I won’t let you down.” She was so soft and feminine. I craved more than hugs and this time with me standing between her legs was crossing Sydney’s invisible line. She rubbed her cheek against my shirt. My fingers went rogue for a moment. I bunched up the fabric of her blouse and rubbed the bare skin of her waist. Sydney made a noise, and I buried my nose in her hair to keep from taking her mouth with mine.

  It was pure torture and absolute bliss until she ended it. “We should shop,” I swore for a second, she said stop. Hell, maybe she did.

  “Yeah, shopping. That’s why we’re here.”

  “Here, let me.”

  “Stop, I don’t want you touching my feet. They’re positively tragic. This is the longest I’ve gone without a proper pedicure.”

  “I’ll close my eyes, so I won’t be scarred for life.”

  I grabbed Sydney’s feet off the ottoman. She’d been attempting to massage the arch of her aching feet. I kinda knew how she felt. We’d been cooking for almost twelve hours straight and the last dirty dish had just been loaded in the dishwasher. We were done with ten freezer meals for Frisco’s family.

  First, she moaned and then she spoke in the sexiest voice I’d ever heard, “Awe, Dane that feels so good.”

  “Yeah, maybe rest your mouth for now.” I couldn’t take that shit from Sydney no matter how tired I was. We’d been together all damn day which only made the internal ache I had for her intensify. It was a deep pain I usually carried down low, below the belt because I wanted to be with her for real, finally. Some days, the ache was in my head because she wouldn’t shut up, but at the moment, I hurt in the middle of my chest and I was certain it wasn’t a traditional heart attack. I’d given her my best all these weeks and even though I could tell she appreciated it, I lacked something Grant provided. It was the great mystery of my life. I’d never begged a woman, and I wasn’t about to start now.

  We stopped talking about Nina once we grocery shopped. I meant what I said to her, but something was bothering me. I tried not to think about it too hard. I’d read all the letters between Dad and Marly. The final one was from Dad. He never mailed it. A wasted stamp clung to the old paper. Josie asked that night if I knew everything. I didn’t know what that meant.

  Now I did.

  I couldn’t bring myself to tell Sydney. I said I wouldn’t hurt her, and I also said I wouldn’t lie. I had to weigh my decision. Hiding the full truth about the past was a lie of omission. Sydney was so weird when it came to her mother. I figured there was no way she’d learn what happened between our parents. I’d searched secret spots in her room and closet one night when she was in the shower. Not my finest moment, I felt like a creeper, but there were no other letters. The truth would stay buried in my attic. As soon as I finished the last letter, I returned the box where I found it. I’d barely been able to face Dad. I had a different opinion of him and I hadn’t sorted that out just yet. I had way more life experience than Sydney. She wasn’t ready for the bombshell. I would stay quiet.

  Our parents’ affair wasn’t about us. That was Paul and Marlene’s story. I knew they had to break up or Sydney and I wouldn’t be here. We might be some other weird genetic combination, real-world brother and sister if Marlene hadn’t done what she did. I didn’t want to say I was happy it happened because I truly believe it altered my father, but I never wanted to imagine a world where this version of Sydney did not exist. Our parents were not meant to be. I had to wonder if Sydney and I together were the reason why somehow.

  “Hey, don’t fall asleep. Josie hates when I bring you in passed out.”

  “I know. Take me home, then come up.”

  “Syd come on. You’re exhausted and so am I. We’re not reading a word tonight.”

  “I know, but I don’t want to fall asleep alone. Please, just five minutes and then you can go.”

  “Sure, I’ll risk my life on the trellis for five minutes to watch you close your eyes.”

  Sydney surprised me, “Frisco checked the trellis for me. He said it was in good shape.”

  “I can’t believe you asked him about the trellis. It sounds fishy. He tells Josie everything.”

  “I was sly. He doesn’t know. Poor Frisco. I bet he is so stressed, but Gram says the surgery went well. Their van is totaled. His arm is in a sling because he dislocated his shoulder and his wife is being held for observation one more night because she has a concussion. That’s a lot all at once.”

  “It could be so much worse. That drunk ran them straight into a tree.”

  “Yeah, I’m glad we did something today. It made me feel useful for a change.”

  “Stop it. You’re always useful.”

  I pulled Sydney off the couch, so we could head out. “Oh yeah, how am I useful to you, Dane?”

  “Can’t say.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m a gentleman. Let’s get you home so I can tuck you in.”

  Sydney fell asleep quick. I said five minutes, but after ten, I was still having trouble tearing myself away. She was almost perfect in her sleep. I told myself five more minutes, but the sunlight and Sydney’s panicked words jolted me awake many hours later.

  “Holy crap, Dane. You slept with me. Gram is expecting me downstairs in half an hour for church and we’re already sinning.”

  “One second, there was no sinning in this bed, I assure you. Well, at least not on your behalf. Calm down. I can get out of here undetected. I always park Stud in a safe spot. She doesn’t have a clue.”

  “You weren’t supposed to fall asleep.”

  “Yeah, yeah, sorry I didn’t follow your orders to a T. I wasn’t supposed to do a lot of things I’m currently doing, but too late.”

  “Are you coming back for lunch?”

  “No. I need a break, time to think.”

  “Why?”

  “Exactly. Don’t worry. I’ll take the food delivery over this afternoon and tell them you did most of the work.”

  “I didn’t do it to take credit. Th
anks for thinking so highly of me.”

  I was being a jerk because I couldn’t handle the fact I’d slept all night against her warm body. I stopped myself from crawling off the bed. I turned back to give her a peck on the forehead. “Of course not, sweetheart. I didn’t mean it like that. I just want them to know that it was a joint effort. Maybe we can go over one afternoon together and get to know the kids better. I bet they’d like to visit the ranch, feed Cash, and Dot. I could walk them around the corral on Cash. He’s gentle enough.”

  “Are you saying we’re going to babysit?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe. I need to do more for Frisco and his family, but I’ll figure the details out later. Have a nice day. I figured you’re sick of me after our extended day.”

  “Not hardly, it’s probably the opposite. I grate on your nerves when we’re together too long.”

  “Yeah, that’s all it is. Sydney’s so nervy. Hey, what about that good night’s sleep together?”

  “I don’t remember anything about it. I didn’t even dream.”

  “You sure because I swear you moaned my name a few times.”

  She swatted me on the arm. “I did not. Get out. You’re an idiot, and I’m nailing the window this afternoon since I can’t trust you.”

  I climbed onto the roof but stopped to see Sydney with her hand on the glass. I put my hand on the opposite side of the pane. A few long seconds elapsed, with us pretending to touch. That’s practically all that really separated us at any given moment, a thin, clear sheet of nothing. We only needed one tiny crack and the whole wall would crumble. Next week was her birthday and the big surprise. Things were about to change, or I was losing my sanity.

  Sydney dropped her hand and pretended to hammer invisible nails. I laughed and shook my head side to side. She would never nail the damn window shut.

  I turned around full circle to make sure I was in the right place. The entire breakfast room was decked out in balloons and decorations. Shelby from the kitchen yelled out “Surprise!” All the early morning breakfast guests clapped for me.