The Braille Club (The Braille Club #1)

by J. A. Kerr

  But Luke’s words kept coming back to her; how Lucy had had affairs in the past and what? She was a home wrecker? Were her affairs nothing but a game? Moving on to Abbey when hours before she had been with Steve? What the fuck was she playing at?

  Abbey felt the anger well up inside her again and realised if Lucy had been anywhere near her she would go for her, hurt her. Hurt her was too mild—she wanted to destroy her. Hours later, she heard his car turn into the driveway and she walked into the hall. It was late but of course, she hadn’t been able to sleep. In fact, she hadn’t been able to cry either, like she had used up all her tears, or maybe she was in shock.

  She opened the door when he knocked and let him in. He looked tired, but he embraced her awkwardly before they walked into the kitchen. Abbey offered him a drink, and he settled for a beer while she poured herself a large glass of white wine.

  “I’ve spoken to Lucy. I’m sorry, you’re right. She had been seeing Steve, although she told me she had been trying to break it off. Look, what’s the point in going over this? I suspect Lucy’s motivation was you all along.”

  “What?” said Abbey, startled.

  “Abbey, this is what she does—breaks down marriages, then goes for the vulnerable party whether it’s male or female. Lucy’s wired wrong, maybe it’s her background, I don’t know, but she likes women, a lot, but plays it safe by going out with guys too. A cover story; I don’t know, it’s fucked up. She did mention you a few times, especially after the players’ dinner at the club; it might have started then, I don’t know.”

  “Why did you stay with her?” said Abbey, horrified.

  Luke shrugged, looking embarrassed. “I don’t know to be honest; we weren’t exclusive, but I had no idea about Steve, I promise. As I said, things had cooled down between us. I liked someone else, had for ages, and maybe she guessed. I’m so sorry, Abbey; I feel this is partly my fault.”

  “How can it be your fault?” asked Abbey incredulously.

  “Because the person I liked was you.”

  “Oh!”

  Luke slumped down in his chair, and neither of them spoke for a few seconds. Abbey was rocked by Luke’s revelations and yet at the same time, it set her free.

  “You’re right, Luke, Lucy did make a play for me, and I’m ashamed to say I fell for it. I was pathetic and insecure; it happened at Caligo. I was drunk; Steve had kept me waiting and she was there…it was nothing more than a drunken mistake that I deeply regret. The guilt after Steve collapsed was tearing me apart, and then I found out about his affair; it was horrible.”

  “I thought Steve was such a bastard, the way he treated you; we all did. You were always too good for him,” said Luke angrily.

  Abbey, surprised to find she had finished her wine, refilled her glass before asking if Luke wanted another beer.

  “No, better not. I’m driving and it’s late. I should be going,” he said, standing.

  Abbey nodded, her mind in turmoil, not sure what she felt anymore. Her anger about Lucy was still there, but not as strongly, because Luke had told her that he liked her. She liked him too, but things were so messed up, she’d need time to think. Luke and Lucy, fighting over her? Nothing was making sense anymore as she moved towards him. His eyes were on her, and she felt her heart flutter and her body still as a spike of desire caught her by surprise. After everything she’d gone through, this was the last thing she’d expected, and she turned away, flustered. He moved closer to her, his breath on her neck, and then his lips. She gasped, shocked by how good it felt. He wound his arms tightly around her body as he pressed into her. She liked it, his arms tight against her, his lips hot on her skin, and she moaned as his hand slipped under her blouse.

  “Do you want this?” he asked.

  She nodded and he kissed her passionately. His fingers unbuttoned her jeans, and she gasped as he pushed his finger deep inside her. She let him lift her onto the breakfast bar, their lips still locked together before he started to remove her clothes, pulling her blouse over her head and unclasping her bra like a seasoned professional before tugging at her jeans and panties until she was naked. Laying her down, he broke free of her mouth, his lips travelling down her body. He pushed her legs apart and bent his head. Abbey screamed and moaned as his tongue teased and sucked before it plunged inside her again and again as her climax came fast and hard. Scooping her up in his arms like a doll, he placed her on the large rug in the sitting room then took his turn to strip. Her eyes devoured his firm torso as he removed his shirt, before revealing large muscular thighs as he slipped off his jeans, then lastly his underwear, until he was as naked as her.

  “This is what you want? I want you to be sure, Abbey,” he asked hoarsely.

  She replied by kissing him deeply, her hands reaching down till he groaned, sending him a message that was loud and clear. They made love with the ease of old lovers, both surprised by how right it felt between them, before going to bed. Abbey, exhausted but at last content, slept through the night for the first time since Steve’s death.

  Shy with each other in the morning, neither one wanted to break the spell. Abbey finally hopped out of bed and padded to the kitchen. She felt different somehow, healed in some way that she could not explain. Her heart felt lighter, and although she was cautious, she thought she might feel the stirrings of happiness. As she went back with a tray and cups, she noticed a letter had been dropped through her letter box. Placing the tray down, she stooped to pick it up and opened it.

  It was all there in the letter from Lucy; her need to be forgiven, her horror at Steve’s death, and her deep regret at the affair they had both started. How it was only a bit of fun, nothing serious, but the more she tried to end it the more persistent he became.

  Meeting with Steve that fateful night to finish it once and for all, she never expected to be with Abbey later. Steve had been feeling unwell. Unable to tell him, she’d let him ramble on about leaving Abbey before making her excuses and leaving. She had no idea why he was so late that night…she ended her letter with these words.

  I know you are very angry with me, and I don’t blame you, but I’ve learned my lesson the hard way. Abbey, you will always be the one that got away, the one person I think I could have loved exclusively, but now I know that will never happen. I have reaped what I have sown. Please don’t hate me the way Luke does. He was very angry and knew nothing about Steve. I won’t contact you again and am, in fact, leaving London. I couldn’t bear seeing you again knowing I could never have you.

  Abbey reread the letter several times as the coffee went cold in the pot and Luke eventually came downstairs. He took the letter from her trembling hands and read it before placing it down on the tray and leading Abbey back to bed. He held her like before, with his arms wrapped tightly around her body until he felt the stiffness leave her limbs. As he felt her start to relax, he stroked her hair before turning her face towards him.

  “It’s over now, Abbey; she’s gone from both our lives.”

  “Yes, but I’m so angry. I feel such a fool.”

  “Don’t,” Luke soothed. “We got each other now.”

  “Luke, I’m not ready for another relationship,” said Abbey hesitantly.

  “I know, I can wait,” Luke replied.

  “I don’t want you to wait; I’m going to take a job in America. Concentrate on my career. It’s the only good thing I’ve got left in my life.”

  “I can wait,” Luke repeated.

  “You’re not exactly the commitment type; your relationship with Lucy tells me that.”

  Luke winced and pulled her tighter. “Give me a chance to prove you wrong.”

  “I don’t think so, Luke; I’ve been a fool too many times,” Abbey sighed.

  “Let me prove you wrong,” said Luke with passion in his voice.

  “I’m not going to discuss this with you,” said Abbey tiredly.

  “I see I have much work to do,” said Luke slyly. His hands wandered down Abbey’s body, pulling at the sash o
f her dressing gown. She was distracted from replying by his mouth connecting with her nipple.

  Luke was an innovative and attentive lover. He only left Abbey to train and play matches. Everything else they did together, from the shopping to the housework. They moved together like they had been doing it for years instead of only a few short weeks. Even Olivia began to feel peeved as his loyal, handsome face became a permanent fixture in Abbey’s home. She warned Abbey it was too soon, but even she was impressed by Luke’s devotion.

  Abbey pushed on with her career and Luke was always there with his support, even when it took her away from him. She tried not to show how much she missed him during their time apart, but it was getting harder and harder. He would always be tied to football, but as a talented player he could have his choice of club should he wish to move.

  It had been six months since Steve’s death, and Abbey had completed her stint in America. She had been lucky, making the transition from teenage to adult presenter with ease. She brought glamour and laughter to every job she took. It had been fun working as a judge stateside on the reality TV show, but she was glad to be home. She was also glad she had someone to come home to. Luke was meeting her at the airport although it was late, and her heart leapt when she saw him.

  She had not been back to The Braille Club since the night of Steve’s collapse and had, in fact, toyed with cancelling her membership. Lucy said she would leave London, but how could Abbey be sure? She still burned with the desire to destroy Lucy, frightened to return to Harrison’s in case she bumped into her and did something stupid. She knew Luke was a member as well, but was he a key holder? Turning detective, she found his membership card quite easily and placed it down on the table in front of him. Their eyes met.

  “Abbey, I’m not interested in anything or anyone else, just you and me.”

  She placed her card beside his and grinned. He ran his hand down her back as he pulled her towards him.

  “You keep those cards safe. I’d like to take you there one day,” he said, smiling and kissing her, “when you’re ready…but I can wait.”

  Chapter 47

  THE BRAILLE CLUB

  Braille Club, London, Present Day: The Braille Ball was in full swing. The masked guests, having finished their food, looked towards the compère in anticipation, the games were about to begin. The mood of the room is buoyant, tensions rise in preparation of the touching to come.

  Boston, 2012

  Siena

  Siena’s pregnancy was confirmed later that day, after her fourth test was once again positive. She sat in the bathroom, her head in her hands as she tried to think clearly. She didn’t know how she should be feeling and sighed deeply. Her heart said yes, but her mind said no. If she were to go ahead with the pregnancy, the divorce would have to be concluded before she started to show. Concealing it from Nick would be paramount. The thought of him knowing or the baby being his made her feel physically sick. If Benedict was the father, what then? Happily ever after? She barely knew him or his intentions. Did she want to be a single parent? Did she want a new relationship?

  Nick would be held by the terms of their pre-nuptial agreement, making the divorce easier. But he would do everything in his power to delay the inevitable, drag his heels, make things difficult; she knew this instinctively.

  A termination would solve her problems. Her heart felt like it was breaking, the pain intolerable as hot tears rolled down her face. Her mind wrestled to make a decision, until exhausted, she just lay on the bed, curled into a ball, and cried and cried. She heard a knock on the door and wanted to ignore it. She didn’t want to see Benedict, but he had already opened the door and was beside her in minutes.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “It’s positive.” Her voice cracked, hoarse from crying.

  He lay down and wrapped his arms around her.

  “This is the plan,” said Benedict, his eyes opaque. Siena looked at him uncertainly. “We need to see a doctor; you’re pregnant with diabetes. Your health comes first, so no arguments.”

  Siena felt her heart lift a little. “I’ve managed to book us to see a private obstetrician. Siena, you don’t need to make any decisions today. Let yourself get used to the idea.”

  “No,” said Siena forcefully. “If I decide I want a termination, I want it done as soon as possible. What’s the point in waiting? Everything will go back to normal afterwards.”

  The more Siena thought about it, the more she saw the termination as the best solution…in fact, her only solution.

  She couldn’t take the risk of Nick finding out. How would she deal with him? She was a hormonal wreck, he would see through her immediately. Siena had imagined telling her parents about the pregnancy and felt the knife twist in her heart at the hope and joy she knew she would see in their faces. She turned away from Benedict, from the eyes that seemed to look straight into her soul. She was so frightened, and no one could help her…she was on her own.

  The rooms of the clinic were busy, full of expectant mothers, and Siena and Benedict sat uncomfortably among them in a tense silence. Siena stared at the girl next to them, her bump enormous, laughing with her husband as they argued over suitable baby names. Finding it difficult to breathe and thinking she couldn’t stand it a second longer, they called her. They both stood, but Siena shook her head at Benedict.

  “I need to do this on my own,” she whispered, and Benedict sat back down heavily.

  The obstetrician confirmed her pregnancy and explained her medical condition would have to be monitored closely. She had pushed him for hard facts on birth defects to the baby and health implications for herself, and he admitted that she was high risk, no question. His smile only faltered slightly when she asked about a termination, his intelligent eyes not judging as he explained the procedure was very straightforward.

  “Can you arrange one for today?” Siena asked harshly, sick to her stomach.

  Startled, the physician stared at her before replying he would make some calls. She returned to the waiting room, which had emptied except for Benedict. The expression on her face implied she had come to a decision. He should be relieved; after all he wanted Siena, not all these complications, but he wasn’t. His mother’s memories filled his mind, and he realised what he had to do.

  “Siena, my mother passed away when I was a boy as a direct result of her having kids and diabetes,” said Benedict quietly.

  “Oh my God,” said Siena. “I’m so sorry, Benedict…this must be impossible for you.”

  “Yes, it’s difficult…I admit that I’m frightened. Just as I find you, this happens. My knee jerk reaction is for a termination to keep you safe, but it’s like she’s here…my mum. I’ve never sensed her presence more strongly than now, telling me to do the right thing. It’s like she’s here beside me and…” Benedict’s voice broke a little. “I still miss her so much, and I’ve spent so long being angry. She told me she never regretted getting pregnant. That she had loved every moment of parenthood and her boys. It’s what she said when I found her before she lost consciousness…her last words.”

  Siena’s heart almost stopped as she watched the tears slip down his anguished face.

  “She told us every day how much she loved us and she made me make a promise, which I’m ashamed to say, I did not fulfil. She told me to look after Alexander…it was her dying wish and I…didn’t do it. I can’t ignore her now. Please, Siena, please consider keeping the baby. I know it’s ours…please.”

  When the physician called Siena’s name, he was annoyed to find the waiting room empty. The decision had set them both free. Siena was euphoric and they couldn’t stop smiling, laughing, and hugging. They burst into her parents’ room, their faces alight with happiness, and there were tears of joy all round. They ordered lunch and began to plan. Benedict returned to London the next day, focused and driven. His project with Siena foremost in his mind; he would be busy, and he welcomed it. The pain of separation was familiar, but unlike before, he would not shut down
his emotions. Siena would remain in the States until her divorce was finalised. They would have no physical contact until she was free of Nick Waters. Siena knew just the thought of him made Benedict furious, but she had spent many hours convincing him Nick was a genuine threat. Siena only relaxed when she saw that Benedict finally believed her.

  Their contact would be purely professional. Benedict’s head was full of plans for the club, their club. They would build it together, her ideas exciting him, and Siena knew it would act as a bond, holding them together during their separation.

  ***

  London, 2012

  Nick

  Nick Waters was furious and devastated to receive the Summary Dissolution, but he was to be no match for the force of Siena’s lawyers. They had filed for divorce on the same day that she’d called him, ripping his life apart, stating ‘irreconcilable differences.’ The pre-nup he’d already signed was ridiculously generous, assuming he agreed to the terms of the Summary. Feeling cornered, he’d engaged his own lawyers, who frustratingly could find nothing detrimental in the contract, and in fact urged him to sign as soon as possible. He felt steamrollered and powerless. They had no joint assets to divide. The villa in Marbella had been purchased solely by Siena and their previous home, a gift from Siena’s father, had been sold when they’d relocated to London.