Lockdown

by Cher Carson

  Tucker stood up and walked around the table. “I should kick your ass for putting my baby sister through the wringer like this.”

  Jake braced himself. Tucker wasn’t above taking a shot at one of his friends if he felt he deserved it, and in Jake’s mind, it would be justified.

  “But I won’t.” Tucker pointed at him. “But I’m telling you now, you ever do anything to hurt her like this again and I won’t hesitate to kick your ass.”

  Jake chuckled. “You’re assuming you could.” And just like that, his best friend was back, not Jessica’s over-protective big brother, but the man who had been like a brother to him since they’d been playing with Tonka trucks.

  Tucker drew him into a hug. “There’s no one in this world I’d rather have as my brother-in-law, Jake.”

  Jake slapped his back. “Thanks, man. That means a lot to me.”

  Tucker drew back to look him in the eye. “I know you guys are gonna be real happy together, and you know that’s all I’ve ever wanted for her, for both of you.” He smirked. “I’ve stood by and watched you make a hell of a lot of mistakes. It’s nice to see you finally getting it right.”

  Jake smiled. “It’s nice to finally feel as though I’m getting it right.” And that’s exactly how he felt, as though everything in his life had been leading up to this point. He turned to Merle. “Okay, the first thing I need to do is track her down. What can you tell me?”

  “Uh, not much.”

  Jake frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  He shook his head. “She said she didn’t want Tucker coming after her and dragging her back home.”

  Tucker chuckled. “She’s a smart girl, that one.”

  Jake didn’t see the humor in this. The woman he loved was out there alone and devastated because she believed he’d let her down, yet again. “Okay, so we’ll just track her bank cards and credit cards. She’s gonna leave a trail and…”

  Merle shook his head. “No, she’s not.” He sighed. “She withdrew the money she saved for the down payment on the condo. She said she didn’t want to go into debt to finance the trip and she wouldn’t need the money for the down payment anymore.”

  Panic, cold and hard, started to grip Jake. “Let me get this straight. You’re telling me that she’s traveling alone with thousands of dollars on her and I have no way of finding her?”

  “She said she’d email us. She promised we could reach her on her cell,” Merle said.

  Jake whipped his cell phone out of his pocket and pressed the first number in his contacts. Ironic that he’d subconsciously given her the top spot without even realizing the significance of the gesture at the time. He waited, listening to the ominous ringing, and prayed. “It went to voice mail,” he said, setting his phone down on the kitchen table. He started pacing, trying to formulate a plan. He was a cop. He’d dealt with dozens of missing person cases in his career. But this was personal. This was his Jessica.

  “Calm down, man,” Tucker said, stepping into his path. “She’s gonna come back for Ava’s wedding.”

  Jake stared at his friend, unable to believe he could even think that he’d be willing to wait a month to see her, talk to her, and make love to her. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make this right. For a man who had self-respect to spare, groveling was sounding better with every moment that slipped by.

  “Are you crazy, Tucker? Merle’s right, we both know what could happen to a young girl traveling by herself with a wad of cash.” Jake ran his hands through his hair, trying to still the pounding in his head. He didn’t have time for a headache; he had to be able to think clearly.

  “Okay, we’ll trace her cell phone, find out which towers it’s bouncing off.” Tucker pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

  “It’s Saturday. You really think you’re gonna get any answers today?” Jake asked.

  “I’ll call in a favor.” Tucker pointed to an empty chair. “Just sit down and try to relax. Jesus, you’re making me nervous.”

  He couldn’t help it. He was a cop and his instincts rarely led him astray. Right now, his gut was telling him that he may have lost Jess for good. He sunk down in the chair, trying to draw breath. His chest was painfully tight. His head hurt. His whole body ached.

  Jake tried to listen to Tucker’s end of the conversation, but he couldn’t focus. Images of Jess kept flashing through his mind. She was laughing, teasing him, kissing him, and making love to him. “Jesus Christ, what I have done?”

  Tucker ended the call, and Jake knew instinctively the news wasn’t good. “What the hell is it? What’s going on?”

  “The cell was traced back here, to Brant,” Tucker said, stealing a glance at his father.

  Jake heaved a sigh of relief. “That’s good. That means she hasn’t left yet, right? I may still have time to track her down before…”

  Tucker shook his head. “Uh no, I called Ava. She gave her the phone. She bought one of those pay as you go jobs, so we couldn’t track her down and bring her back home. She wouldn’t even give Ava the number.”

  “Son of a bitch,” Merle muttered. “She lied to us. She told us she’d have that cell turned on, that she’d call and email, and stay in touch. How could she be so damned thoughtless? She must have known we’d all be worried sick when we couldn’t contact her.”

  That’s exactly how Jake felt: sick. How was he going to get through the next month not knowing whether she was safe or if she ever intended to come home to him?

  Tucker put his arm around his friend’s shoulders. “Hey, we’re not gonna give up on this. Come on, man, we’re cops, this is what we do. We find people who don’t want to be found. Okay, so maybe she shut down the most obvious channels, but we’ll track down the friends she was going to visit. Maybe they’ve heard from her.”

  Jake started stalking the floor again. “You really think she told your parents the truth about where she was headed when she went to such lengths to make sure we couldn’t track her down?”

  “I have to believe that, Jake.” Tucker looked him in the eye. “The alternative is to let myself believe that she just vanished without a trace and I may never see her alive again.”

  Jake felt those words like a sledgehammer coming down on him. The image of Jessica’s beautiful, vital body cloaked in a satin-lined casket popped into his head. “No, fuck no. This can’t be happening.” He ran his hands through his hair. “What the hell are we gonna do, Tuck?”

  His friend gripped his shoulder. “We’re gonna do the only thing we can right now: wait and pray.”

  Jake barely heard Tucker’s footsteps echo over the tiled floor.

  “Jesus, man, you can’t keep doing this,” Tucker said, stopping in front of his desk. “You’ve been here, day and night, for almost a week. You’ve pulled out all the stops, done everything you can. Jake, listen to me, her trail is cold.”

  Cold. The words evoked images of cold cases, dead bodies, and the fear felt like a noose tightening around his neck, stealing the breath from his body. “What the fuck do you want me to do, Tuck? I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t even close my eyes without seeing her face. Every time the phone or doorbell rings, I damn near hit my knees to pray it’ll be her, and when it’s not, I die a little fuckin’ more inside.”

  Tucker sighed as he claimed the chair on the opposite side of Jake’s desk. He pointed to his computer monitor. “What’re you doing there?”

  Jake stared at the images on the screen. They were young women just like Jessica, women whose families were feeling as lost as him. “Checking the database for any new Jane Does who’ve been brought in within the last week.”

  “Why the hell are you torturing yourself like this, man? You can’t let yourself think the worst.”

  “Really? Are you telling me it’s never occurred to you that she could have been raped, abducted, or murdered in the past week? No one has heard from her. You and I both know it’s not like Jess to worry her family and friends like this. Why the fuck hasn’t she call
ed Ava to let her know that she’s okay? At least she could have given us the message.”

  “I don’t know,” Tucker whispered. “I’ve asked myself that question a hundred times.”

  “This is all my fuckin’ fault. If I hadn’t let her leave my house that night without telling her how I felt about her, this wouldn’t be happening.”

  Tucker glared at him. “You mean that night you dragged her out of Dixie’s you took her back to your place? You didn’t mention that to me.”

  For obvious reasons, Jake didn’t feel he could confide that bit of information in his buddy. Jess was still Tucker’s sister and what happened in the privacy of Jake’s bedroom was their business, not her brother’s.

  “Tell me what happened between you two that night,” Tucker said, leaning forward.

  “That’s none of your goddamn business.”

  “The hell it’s not,” Tucker said, reaching across the desk to grab a handful of Jake’s shirt. “Did you take advantage of her?”

  Jake clenched his jaw as he tried to rein in his temper. He was already at the end of his rope thanks to lack of food, lack of sleep, too much caffeine, and a lead ball of fear crowding his stomach. “Fuck off,” he said, pushing Tucker back.

  “Um, excuse me,” Ava said, taking a hesitant step toward them. “I thought you’d like to know that Jessica just called me.”

  Jake felt the weight of terror he’d been wearing like a cloak for the past week slide off. “Thank God,” he said, sinking back into his chair. “Where is she? When is she coming back? Is she okay? Did you tell her to call me?”

  Ava smiled at Jake’s rapid-fire questions. “She wouldn’t tell me where she was, but she assured me she’s fine and she would be back in time for the wedding.”

  Jake waited for her to answer his final question. “And?”

  She looked as though she’d rather be anywhere else when she said, “I’m sorry. She said she has nothing left to say to you, Jake.” She sighed. “She’s trying to move on with her life, and she made it pretty clear that her new life doesn’t include you.”

  Jake got up, feeling dazed and confused. Jess had been a part of his life forever. He loved her. He needed her. He couldn’t let her go, not now when they were so close to having everything they ever wanted.

  “I’m sorry, honey,” Ava said, reaching out to stroke his back as he walked by. “I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but the good news is that she’s safe, and she’ll be back home in a few weeks.”

  “But she’s not going to stay, is she?”

  Ava nodded. “She wouldn’t say where she was, but she did say that she’s found a job and an apartment. She said she’s meeting new people and enjoying life for the first time in a long time. She told me she’s exactly where she needs to be, Jake.”

  He closed his eyes, trying to allow his happiness for her to override his sadness and desperation, but he couldn’t. Maybe he was just too selfish to wish her well in a life that didn’t include him. “She’s meeting new people; does that mean there’s a new man in her life?”

  Ava glanced at Tucker. “Um, I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her about that.”

  Jake had been interrogating witnesses too long to miss that look. “Oh my God, there is someone else, isn’t there?” Voicing the question made him feel sick to his stomach. “Is he someone she just met or has she known him a while? Is it someone she went to college with?” He racked his brain trying to remember whether she’d told him about anyone special when she was going to college. He couldn’t think straight. His mind was crowded with images of the life they’d lost. The wedding that would never be, the babies they would never have, the bed they would never share. All because he’d let his fear and pride override his common sense.

  “Damn it, answer me, Ava. I need to know.”

  “They went to college together,” she said, quietly. “They’ve stayed in touch. They were just friends back then, but…”

  “But it’s evolved into more? Is she staying with him?” The next question had bile rising in his throat. “Is she sleeping with him?”

  Ava drew a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I can’t answer that. You’ll have to ask her yourself, when she comes back for the wedding. I just wanted to let you both know that she’s okay.”

  Jake grabbed Ava’s wrist when she took a step toward the door. “You’re not leaving here until you tell me every goddamn detail. Do you hear me?”

  Jake had never put his hands on a woman in anger, not even Diane, and Lord knows she’d pushed him past his limit a time or two, but Ava was putting herself in the line of fire by refusing to answer his questions.

  The thought of Jess out there somewhere, spending time with another man, falling in love with him, making love to him, it was ten times worse than every gory image that filled his head when he’d feared for her safety. And he knew these images would never go away. She’d marry someone else, have his babies, share his bed, and he would have to live with that for the rest of his miserable life, knowing that he’d had every opportunity to make her his wife.

  He released Ava’s wrist as his eyes filled with unshed tears. “I’m begging you here, please. I can’t lose her.”

  Ava reached up to brush a kiss across his cheek. “And I hope you don’t. I happen to think you’re Jessica’s soul mate, but that’s for her to decide, not me.” She held her hand against his cheek. “Take care of yourself, Jake. She’ll be back in a few weeks, and I know she’d be devastated to see you like this.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Three Weeks Later

  “I can’t believe you’re getting married,” Jessica whispered, adjusting Ava’s veil. “You look stunning.”

  Ava smiled as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. “And I can’t believe you had the nerve to bring a date to the wedding.”

  Jessica shrugged. “My invitation said ‘and guest’ didn’t it? Bill is my guest.”

  “Are you sure you didn’t bring him to act as your bodyguard so Jake couldn’t get close enough to hurt you again?”

  Jessica swallowed, trying to ease the anxiety tightening her throat. Her friend was too damn perceptive. “I brought Bill because I enjoy spending time with him. He’s a wonderful man.”

  “But he’s not Jake,” Ava said, meeting Jessica’s eyes in the full-length mirror.

  “Of course not, no one is ever going to replace Jake, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have to get on with my life. It’s time for me to move on.”

  Ava turned toward her as she clasped her hands. “Are you happy, honey? I mean, since you left Brant, have you been happy?”

  Brant was her home. There was no place on Earth that would make her feel the way she did when she saw that “Welcome to Brant County” sign. “I’ve been content. I like my job. I’ve re-connected with some old friends. I have a nice little apartment…” She smiled. “My very first place.”

  “And Bill, what about him, does he have a place in your future?”

  She shrugged. “It’s too soon to tell. We’re still getting to know each other.”

  Ava rolled her eyes. “You’ve known him for a long time.”

  “Yeah, but he was just a friend. Now, I’m thinking he could be something more.”

  “So, why was he just a friend all that time?” Ava asked.

  “You know why. I wasn’t willing to give any other man a chance. It was all about Jake.”

  “You know Jake will be here today, right?”

  “I figured as much. He and Craig are good friends. Why shouldn’t he be here?” Still, assuming he would be here and knowing that he was just a few feet away were different. Her empty stomach roiled in protest. It was still so new. She was just a month into her Jake-free life, and she wasn’t naïve enough to believe that seeing him wouldn’t have an effect on her.

  “Hey, you’re stronger than you think,” Ava whispered, hugging her. “And know that if you need me, I’m here.”

  Jessica sniffled as she tried to keep the tears
at bay. “This is your day, and I just want to help you celebrate it. Can we please forget about my problems for a while?”

  Ava kissed her cheek. “Your problems are my problems, always.”

  Jake watched Jessica walk down the long aisle. She was wearing an amethyst colored, floor-length, strapless gown, and her long blonde hair was swept up with a few loose tendrils kissing her neck. She took his breath away, and he couldn’t help but imagine her walking down that same aisle wearing a long, white dress. He imagined himself standing where Craig was, waiting to catch a glimpse of his beautiful bride, waiting to start their new life as husband and wife. He’d never envied anyone as much as he envied Craig in that moment.

  Jake watched her eyes settle on a man he didn’t recognize and she smiled. It was that sweet, shy smile she used to reserve for him. He was dying inside, watching her walk right by him, refusing to meet his eyes, as though he no longer had a place in her life. He was a just a nameless, faceless guest in a crowd of hundreds.

  Jared squeezed his hand. “Wow, Jessie looks pretty, Daddy.”

  “She sure does, buddy.”

  Jared had been pumping him for information about Jess for weeks. He was worried when he couldn’t reach her on the phone, so Jake had no choice but to tell him that she needed a little break. With the heartbreaking innocence of a child, he said, “But you guys were gonna get married and I was gonna come live with you. Jessie was gonna be my second mama and you were gonna have babies and…”

  Jake had to shut the rest of his son’s outburst out of his mind. It was too painful to think about.

  Jake couldn’t take his eyes off her as she winked and smiled at the nervous groom. It took everything in him not to go to her. He’d waited so long to see her, to touch her; he couldn’t stand to wait another minute.

  He glanced across the aisle at the man who thought he was taking Jake’s place in her life. The kid was in for a rude awakening. He may think Jess was his, but they didn’t have a lifetime of history. She hadn’t spent most of her adult life loving him. She hadn’t given him her innocence. Jake held that special place in her heart, and there was no way he was willing to surrender it without a fight.