by Joy Eileen
“You all need anything else?” the damn waitress asked, and I wanted nothing more than for her and her noiseless shoes to go the hell away.
“Just the bill,” Kill answered, not taking his eyes off of me. He threw a twenty on the table, once again tucking me into his side.
A group of girls piled out of a red Jeep Cherokee when we left the diner, and from the way they were leaning on each other you could tell they were in no condition to drive.
My heart seized when I saw biker skank stumbling out. Her glassy eyes lit up when she noticed us. I stiffened under Kill’s arm, and he muttered something under his breath.
She disentangled herself from her friends and staggered over. “Just friends, huh?”
She stood close enough I could smell the alcohol on her breath. “Remember my warning. I'll be waiting, because there's no way you can keep his interest for very long. He deserves someone that will keep him….”
Kill stopped her, his voice laced with anger. “You have no idea what you're talking about. You couldn’t compare to her on her worst day. Stay away from her, and if I ever find out you talked to her again, you will regret it.”
He let go of me so he could get closer, but I anchored my arms around his waist, keeping him against me. “Come on, Kill, let’s go.”
He tried to pull away again, but I held firm. He released a long breath, his anger deflating with it. By this time, her friends had ambled toward us. They apologized to us, explaining she was really drunk. As they towed her toward the diner, I pulled Kill toward the car, struggling to lead him away.
He cranked the engine, letting the heater do its work on the chilly interior. Kill’s jaw was clenched as he worked through his anger. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, not wanting to interrupt.
“How did she know we were friends?” he asked, staring out the windshield toward the diner.
Ignoring his question, I stared out the windshield.
“Faith?” he questioned, when he realized I was not answering him.
I huffed out a deep breath. “She cornered me in the bathroom line,” I answered, and he remained quiet, waiting for me to continue. “She told me I was stupid if I thought I could be enough for you and when you got bored of me, you would be falling into her open legs. When I tried to explain to her we were just friends, she didn’t believe me.”
He glared at the diner, and I was afraid he was going to confront her. His hand rested on the center console, and I placed mine on top of his, hoping I could get him home without more drama.
“Did she say anything else?” he asked through clenched teeth.
I shook my head, and he opened the door to get out.
“If you won’t tell me, I'll just go ask her.”
“Wait, I'll tell you, but you have to drive home so I know you aren’t going to freak out and get yourself arrested.”
His face was hard, and I wasn’t sure if he would agree. After a few seconds he put the car in reverse and backed out.
“I'm waiting. And by the way, just so you know, I would never hurt a girl.”
“I know that. She said I would be stupid if I attempted a relationship with you because I wasn’t good enough.”
“You already said that,” he growled.
“Fine, she explained if we were together, you wouldn’t be faithful to me and while I'm at home like the good little girlfriend, you would be banging anything available with no concern for me. I agreed with her, and told her I knew I wasn’t good enough, and that’s why I'm keeping you away from my heart and only allowing you to be my friend.”
He swerved off the road into the parking lot of a closed convenience store and threw the car into park. His chest heaved, and his eyes were a mix of fury and hurt.
“Do you really think so low of me that if we decided to try this, and you know there's something going on between us, I know you feel it, I would treat you like a piece of shit and not care about your feelings? Do you think I'm not capable of keeping my dick in my pants and being loyal to someone?”
I felt ashamed. He thought I was doubting his character, and I shook my head.
“It’s not you, it’s me. I don’t think you would be able to be loyal to me because I know I'm not good enough for you. You're gorgeous, and I'm some broken girl with nothing to give. So yes, I don’t think I could keep you interested enough not to stray.”
“You have no idea what you make me feel. This is on you, Faith. When you're ready to find out who I am without making assumptions about me, then come talk to me, not some skank who's pissed off because I bruised her ego.”
Looking down at my lap, I felt thoroughly chastised.
“I wish you could see what I do when I look at you,” he said as he eased the car back on the road. “I hope you get over your baggage soon, because you've been carrying it long enough.”
His words hit me right in the gut. The rest of the drive was in silence, having said enough for the night.
Parking Amy’s car on the other side of the street he got out, only stopping to hold the door open for me.
“I’m sorry. I didn't want to push you. I promised you I would be your friend. I guess I should have explained I'm willing to be your friend until you're ready for more.”
Energy surged through my body at his words. I wanted to scream, cry, smash something, and rip off his clothes, but I wasn’t sure which one I should do.
“It’s not like I don’t want something more. I just know you would destroy me if I gave this a chance. I can’t see myself surviving you, so I can’t let you in.” My body shuddered at the sincerity of my confession.
“Well, I'm going to have to get you to trust me. Go to sleep. I will see you for our run tomorrow.”
I wanted to give him a chance, but I was positive I wasn't strong enough to say the words pushing against my lips, trying to force themselves out in spite of my intentions.
“Go to sleep, Slick.” He kissed the top of my head, before getting a beer and going into the living room to watch T.V.
I got ready for bed in a fog, putting on the big Ray’s t-shirt I wore the night my life turned upside down.
I crawled into bed and plugged my headphones into my ears, forcing myself to fall asleep, instead of running downstairs to tell Kill I wanted him just as badly as he wanted me.
My vagina pleaded with me to go to him, but I shut her down, reminding her she was out of commission at the moment. His words ran through my head, and I hoped I could rid myself of my baggage soon.
Chapter 13
I didn't want to get out of bed to face Kill. Last night ended without any real resolution, and I wasn’t ready for the awkward reunion.
To buy some time after getting ready, I gathered a load of laundry and stuck it in the washer while chewing on a handful of Tums. Done stalling, I went into the living room to face Kill. He was on the couch, drinking his green protein shake.
He smiled brightly, making my insides go to mush. I planted my feet on the ground to stop myself from running to him and riding him like a cowboy escaping the law.
“Coffee?”
I shook my head, trying to push the mental image of me straddling him out of it. To create space I got two bottles of water from the kitchen, handing him one before sitting down.
“Do you want to eat?” he asked.
I shook my head again, but realized I was being an ass for not speaking while he was obviously trying to make an effort.
“No, I will eat after, so whenever you are ready, we can go.”
He sipped his drink, showing he was in no hurry.
“What else are you doing today?”
“I need to go shopping. Do you want to go with me? We can pick up something for dinner.”
“Sounds good.” He rinsed out his cup, putting it in the dishwasher. “Ready?”
We jogged closer to each other than on our other runs, and at the end I was pretty sure we had recovered from last night.
Taking a quick shower, I straightened my hair and
pulled it into a high ponytail. I hurried to get dressed, convincing myself it had nothing to do with Kill. Kill knocked on the door and walked in as I slipped on my neon green heels.
“Whenever you're ready, Slick.”
Kill had moved Jet’s truck while I got ready. His Mustang was in the driveway all hot and sexy. I grinned, happy I finally got to ride in his sex on wheels. He opened my door, and I sunk into the seat. He got in and smirked at me stroking the interior.
“See something you like?”
I let out a short laugh. "Kill, your car's almost as sexy as mine.”
The engine roared to life, and just like its owner, my nipples harden from the sound. When we reached the stop sign, he looked over at me.
“Where to, Slick?”
"Bed Bath and Beyond."
The music was on low, but I caught the familiar strains to one of my favorite songs. Cranking it as loud as I could, when Lzzy Hale started singing 'I Get Off,' I sang along.
Kill glanced over at me with surprise in his eyes. I loved this song too much to be self-conscious. Besides, friends get stuck with me singing when the urge hits me. When the song was over, Kill turned the music down.
“You're lucky we're friends. Most people wouldn't survive touching my stereo. Also, that was fucking sexy.”
I rolled my eyes as we turned into the parking lot. “Halestorm's my favorite band. I would have sung any of their songs, it just happened to be that one.”
“The fact you even know who Halestorm is, is sexy in itself, but your voice is awesome. Jessie was right. You need to sing more than just in the kitchen, which I still haven’t heard by the way.”
I blushed red, wishing I'd kept my mouth shut. Kill came up behind me and the shopping cart, putting his arms on each side of me. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, causing my whole body to break into goose bumps, a normal reaction when Kill was near.
“You're so damn sexy, and you keep surprising the hell out of me. I can’t wait to see what you do next.” He bit my earlobe, sending desire shooting through me.
“Come on, Killer,” I replied breathlessly, pushing the cart forward.
I put my feet on the bar letting Kill push me, telling him when to stop. He made comments on everything, and a few times I picked up something random just to get a reaction out of him. Spotting a box boasting it was the "best corn remover," I threw it in the basket, making his eyebrows shoot up.
“See what happens when you wear those heels.”
I laughed at his response. He snatched the box out of the basket and put it back on the shelf.
“And I know your feet are perfect, which is a miracle in itself.”
I stuck out my tongue and found myself pressed into a display of comfy socks.
“I warned you, Slick.”
He leaned in, making everything else disappear. Kill had his patented half-smile, and right before our lips met, he turned, kissing me on the cheek.
His face was smug, getting his payback for the stunt I pulled on my first day of work.
The cashier eyed Kill with lust in her eyes. Jealousy reared its ugly head, and I pushed it down, reminding myself I had no right to feel possessive over Kill. She leaned over to get my purchases, giving Kill a clear view of her cleavage.
I tried to get away so I wouldn’t have to witness her eye-humping him in front of me, but before I could escape, Kill pulled me tight against his chest.
“Did you get everything you needed, sweetie?” he asked, kissing me on the top of the head while running his hands up and down my arms, leaving trails of heat as they passed.
The cashier shot me a dirty look and put more force than necessary into scanning my purchases.
Kill stopped me when I went for my wallet. He reached in his back pocket and grabbed his wallet, pulling out his card. “I got it, baby.”
I pushed my elbow in his stomach, but he didn’t move. With the receipt and my stuff in tow, he took my hand as we walked out of the store.
“What the hell was that for?” I demanded, trying to get my hand out of his.
He tried to look innocent, but the damn smile, carved by the devil, himself ruined it. “I was having fun. Friends can have fun together. Come on, where to next?”
He stored my purchases and hopped in the car, where I directed him to the Lloyd Center.
In Victoria’s Secrets, Kill had the employees falling all over him. He held my hand the whole time, trying to get me into the fitting room for a private show, making his newly acquired entourage shoot death glares at me.
By the time we left the store, the salesgirls were head-over-heels in love with him, and probably plotting my death.
On our way to the food court, a pair of bright purple heels caught my eye. I stopped. Kill didn’t notice I was no longer moving until his arm was jerked back from his forward momentum.
“What?” he asked, turning around. He scanned the stores, his face hard and the facial tick was back.
“Is he here?” He moved to get between me and whatever threat he thought lurked about.
“What? No he isn’t here, I just saw a pair of shoes,” I confessed, embarrassed my reaction to a pair of shoes had him going into bodyguard mode on me. The truth was, Jason hadn’t crossed my mind. Kill had a way of making me forget the bad in my life.
“Shoes?”
I pointed at them with my finger, so he could see they weren’t just a pair of shoes, but a work of art. “A pair of the most adorable shoes I've seen today, and I'm going to get them.”
The sales girl stumbled over herself to get to us. I wasn’t sure if it was because I had commission written all over me, or she wanted to get closer to Kill.
“Can I help you with anything?” she asked Kill breathlessly, answering my question as she ignored me.
Kill hauled me to his chest. “Actually, my girl saw the pair of purple heels with a black bow in the window, and I can’t deny her anything, can I, baby?”
He rested his chin on my head, and I could feel the smile on his face.
“What size are you?” she begrudgingly asked me.
I told her, and she walked back to get them.
“Those are two hundred and fifty dollar shoes, Killer.” I didn't want him to spend money on me just because he was playing boyfriend for the day.
“Shit, Slick,” he groaned, as the girl came back shoes in hand.
I opened the box and fell in love. After trying them on, I dug around for my wallet. I was thankful for my tips at Ray's, which were triple what I made at Cool Beans. When I moved to hand my card to the sales girl, she was taking Kill's out of his hand.
“Wait, you can’t pay for these. They're too much.”
I tried to give the girl my card, but Kill took it and stuck it back in my wallet.
“Shut up. Those are fucking hot, and every time I see you in them I'll know I put them on your feet.” He thanked her, taking his card and my shoes and walked out.
“Wait, are you Kill from the JackholeS?” Her voice was so high, I was afraid the windows would crack.
Kill turned and flashed her one of his smiles, causing her breath to shudder. “I am.”
She ran around the counter, shoving a piece of paper and pen toward him. “Can I get your autograph? I love you guys so much. I try to get to The Note when you're there.”
He signed the paper, and she took it clutching it to her chest.
“You should come see us at Ray’s. We play every Friday and Saturday.”
She nodded her head so fast she looked like a bobble head on a gravel road. “I will, oh my God. I can’t believe I just sold your girlfriend shoes. Wait until I tell my friends.”
I opened my mouth to correct her, but Kill kept talking.
“It was nice to meet you. I hope you come and see us. Come on baby, let’s go home.”
We walked to the food court hand in hand. I beat him to the cashier and paid for the food. I smiled at his frown, winking as I walked away, letting him carry the food.
At home I went upstairs to put my stuff on the bed. There was a pile of folded clothes on the bottom step. I smiled, happy my little system was working.
I put on a pair of black skinny jeans, a Ray’s shirt, and my new shoes, doing a little happy dance when I looked at them in the mirror. On my second spin, Kill came in and I screamed. He leaned on the door jamb laughing his ass off, and my face burned from embarrassment.
“Were you just doing a happy dance?” he gasped when he got his laughing somewhat under control.
“Shut up. I have a deep affection for shoes. They make me happy.”
He smiled widely, coming over, and tracing my cheek with his finger. “I like to see you happy, and those shoes look fucking hot on you. Come on, let’s eat before you have to go.”
He turned around and walked out of my room. I took a minute to make sure my legs had solidified, before following him.
Taking another load of laundry out of the hamper I saw it wasn’t as full as the last time. In fact, the house looked like someone had scrubbed it clean.
“Hey, you sexy beast, where were you today?” Amy asked, stabbing a piece of chicken off Jet’s plate and sticking it in her mouth as I came out of the kitchen.
“I had to get some things to replace what I had left behind.”
The boys' faces went hard, so I tried to lighten the mood.
“And I got these killer shoes.”
Kill smirked at my cleverly disguised description.
“Those are fucking sexy. You should let Amy borrow them so she can admire them while they're up in the air.” Amy hit Jet in the back of the head, giggling while she did it.
“The dumbass is right, those are some sexy ass shoes,” D piped in, surprising me.
I felt warm and fuzzy. He was letting me in. “Thanks, D,” I responded.
Kill nudged me with his shoulder and whispered in my ear. “I hope they don’t give you corns. I will have to inspect your feet soon to make sure they're still smooth.”
He went back to his food as if he didn’t just make my whole body burst with sexual energy. I picked at my food, my appetite gone.
