by Joy Eileen
“Oh, I have something for you,” I told him, handing him my rent check. I did it in front of everyone, so he wouldn’t argue. His eyes went hard, and I could see his internal battle. I winked at him, my appetite magically appearing.
“Where's Jessie?” I asked, noticing she wasn’t there.
Van’s eyes flashed hard for a second, before returning back to the softy I knew and loved. “She went home to call her mom. I guess her grandma isn’t feeling well, and she wanted to check on her.”
“Why couldn’t she call her grandma from here?” Jet asked, making Van flinch as D shot Jet a dirty look.
“She didn’t want to explain where she was if they asked. Her mom's like a human lie detector.”
“Why doesn’t she want to explain where she is?” Jet asked again.
Kill leaned over and smacked him in the arm, trying to get him to shut the hell up.
“She doesn’t think her family would approve of her spending time with me. Her parents own a bar, and they have been trying to keep Jessie from dating someone like me her whole life.” Van’s eyes were sad as he explained.
“Van, I love Jessie, and I love you two together, but don’t ever feel like you aren’t good enough. You're amazing, and when her parents meet you, they'll adore you.” I encouraged.
I wondered briefly what my dad would think of Kill. I pushed the thought away, there was no reason to think about it. They were going to be discovered any day now.
“Thanks Faith.” Van went to put his dishes away. “I'm going to take a nap. I'll see you later.” He looked defeated, and when his bedroom door shut, we glared at Jet.
“What?” Jet asked in confusion.
“Idiot,” D remarked, getting up to take his plate into the kitchen.
I followed him while Jet waited for an answer. Kill whispered to him, but I was too far away to hear.
I did a quick makeup check, wanting to get to work early so I could talk to Jessie. Waving goodbye to the boys I walked out. I opened my door, and Kill called out to me, jogging down the walkway.
Throwing my bag on the passenger side I waited for him to reach me. When he did, he rubbed the back of his neck, looking at the ground.
“Forget something, Killer?” I asked, not sure what to say.
He let his hand fall to his side and looked at me. “I just wanted to say have a good night and be careful. We'll be there about nine, so make sure to tell Catcher if anyone bothers you. Today was fun.”
He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Don’t miss me too much, pretty girl.”
With that, he jogged back to the house, closing the door without looking back. I knew this, because I watched him the whole way.
I was still blushing when I pulled into the parking lot early. Jessie’s car wasn't there yet, so I waited, hoping to catch her.
My phone rang, and Trent's number flashed across the screen. My stomach tightened as I went to press the ignore button, but I changed my mind.
“Hello,” I said.
Trent took a deep breath, just as surprised as I was. “Hey Faith, I wasn’t expecting you to answer.”
"I wasn’t going to, and I'm not sure why I did. Please don’t make me regret it.”
“I'm so sorry about what I said; I didn’t mean any of it. I understand you don’t want to date right now, but I don’t want to lose your friendship. Can you forgive me? ” he begged, his voice filled with worry.
“I don’t know if we'll ever get back to where we were, Trent. You said some pretty awful things, and I was just trying to tell you the truth. I'll try though; I don't want to lose you as a friend." My conscience warned me this was a mistake as soon as the words left my mouth.
“I'll take your friendship, and I promise I'll make it up to you,” he was quick to respond.
“Why don’t you come to Ray’s tomorrow around ten?” I asked thinking it was the safest place to meet him.
When we hung up he seemed relieved. My doubting him so quickly into our mending didn’t bode well for our reconciliation.
Checking to see if Jessie had pulled up, all the breath was knocked out of me when I saw Jason’s car across the street. My hands shook, causing me to drop my phone; by the time I retrieved it, he was gone.
I sat in my car, playing with the mace on my key chain, trying to figure out what I should do. Kill’s words flashed through my head. Jason wasn’t going to give up so easily.
Frustration burned through me. Jason was always around the corner, able to destroy any progress I made on becoming whole.
Surveying the cameras mounted around the parking lot, I knew Jason would have been out of range. He was smart, and I was fairly certain if I measured where his car was, it would be beyond the distance the restraining order demanded he stay away.
Knowing I was still shielded by Jason’s need to keep up the pretense of being Mr. Perfect calmed me. I reminded myself I was strong enough to get away and the panic subsided.
Jessie pulled up, and I went over to her, pushing Jason out of my mind. I didn’t want her to know about Jason’s cameo, and I definitely didn’t want Kill to find out. Jessie was vigorously brushed her blonde hair. I knocked on her window, and she nodded her head, indicating for me to get into the passenger side.
In the car I got a good look at her. She had a wild look in her eyes. She brushed her hair so hard I was afraid she was going to pull it all out.
“Hey, what's up?” I asked, grabbing the brush from her hand, which fell limply to her side.
“I told my parents I was going on a date with Van,” she told me, tears falling down her face.
“Honey, I think you two are doing a lot more than going on a date,” I responded. Jessie had never lied to her parents so her little fib was a big deal.
“I wanted to test the waters.” She let out a bitter laugh, and my heart hurt for her. “My dad told me he didn’t want his little girl to date some wannabe rockstar who would never amount to anything except some gigs in rundown bars, while he's sticking his dick into anything willing to worship his mediocrity.”
She put her face in her hands and sobbed. I put my hand on her back, rubbing it in circles.
My thoughts went back to earlier, wondering what my dad would think of Kill. I pushed it to the back of my mind along with Jason’s appearances. Having enough on my plate, there was no reason to add to it.
“Jessie, they don’t know Van. He adores you, and he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. They won't be some bar band forever; they're going to make it, and make it big. They just need to meet him.”
She took her hands off her face. Her tears had dried up, but the wild look hadn’t left.
“I know, and when they make it big, they'll have women throwing themselves at them. We were doomed from the start. I think I'm just going to have fun until then, and not tell my parents since there will be nothing to tell soon.”
Jessie said this with finality. She took out her makeup to touch up what her tears had destroyed.
“Jessie, I don’t think them hitting it big will change his feelings, and it's not fair to keep him hidden just because you're afraid he'll hurt you. I get you're afraid to tell your parents, but you should have more faith in your relationship.”
My inner voice screamed that I was the biggest hypocrite in the universe, because I had similar thoughts about Kill leaving to pursue his dream. Jessie glared at me with the wrath of a cornered woman burning in her eyes.
“Faith, I love you, and I don’t want to say something to ruin our friendship, so please stay out of this and let me handle it.”
I wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her like a British nanny would, but I nodded my head, letting her know I was there for her.
“Alright, Jessie, do it your way. I love you too, now let’s get to work and make more tips than Bambi. That will make us feel better.”
Jessie laughed, and some of the wildness dissipated from her eyes. I was reminded of how I had lied to my dad, and I fully empathized with her situation.
Onstage, a karaoke station was set up and a guy in a portable DJ booth was putting people in queue after they chose their song. Wednesday and Thursday were karaoke night at Ray’s. Jessie would always regale us with stories when we were at study group.
“Hey, you sexy bitches, are you ready for karaoke night?” Ryan asked.
Denise picked up her tray and winked at us before going to deliver her orders.
“I saw Mr. Wong signing up,”
Jessie groaned trying to spot the offending Mr. Wong.
“What does Mr. Wong sing?” I asked, looking around with Jessie, even though I had no idea who I was looking for.
“The Wong song,” Ryan answered, cracking up at her bad joke.
Jessie pointed nonchalantly toward a short balding man in a striped button down shirt half tucked into his brown slacks.
“His wife left him years ago and took the cat. Once a month he drowns his sorrows and dedicates Whitney Houston’s 'I Will Always Love you' to Buttons,” Jessie whispered as Ryan stifled a giggle.
“Buttons being the cat?” I guessed, causing Ryan to laugh so hard she walked away from the drink she was making.
The bar was busy, and I ran around trying to keep up. DJ Smoke, a dark Hispanic man, with black slicked back hair and a long beard got ready to start karaoke night.
My phone vibrated in my apron while I waited for my order.
Miss me yet?
He had put his name in my phone under Killer? I wondered when he had time to put his name in my phone, and why he put a question mark after it.
Scrolling through my contacts, I saw he had put all the guy’s numbers in my phone under the nicknames I had given them. I now understood the question mark since I never told him his nickname.
“What are you laughing at?” Ryan questioned.
“Nothing, Kill's just being an ass,” I told her, hefting up my finished tray.
DJ Smoke began the introductions, calling the first group onstage. A bunch of women screamed as they danced to the stage. They were awful, but to their credit they had the whole bar singing along with them.
Mr. Wong must have been here early because he was number four onstage. His high notes sounded like he was stepping on the infamous Buttons.
Ryan sucked her cheeks in to keep from laughing, and the sight of her made me lose it. I leaned on the bar as Mr. Wong hit the last note, making my eyes water. Swiping my eyes, I tried to catch my breath. I took out my phone and text Kill back.
Nope
I smiled as I sent it, wishing I could see his face when he read it. His reply came almost immediately.
Liar
I giggled and typed.
You wish, Killer
I stashed my phone in my pocket and looked up to see Ryan staring at me.
“Holy fuck, you're sexting, aren’t you?” she accused me, trying to see down my apron.
“What? No. I was just texting Kill back. He's bored,” I stuttered.
“I call bullshit. You don’t get that look on your face when you're just texting, unless you're thinking about them naked,” Ryan pressed on.
She shook her head when I was about to respond. “What can I get you, Bambi?” she asked.
I could have leapt across the bar and kissed her. There was no way I wanted Bambi in my business.
Bambi bumped into my shoulder, giving me an innocent look. “Sorry, Happy,” she said in a sickeningly sweet voice.
“Her name's Faith, and stop being a bitch, or I will screw up your orders. You're on thin ice with Ray, so I suggest you play nice,” Ryan reminded her.
I took my tray and walked off. Stupid Kill had put me in a good mood, and I wanted to keep it.
Hours into my shift, I couldn't believe how many people were still willingly getting onstage. The bell above the door clanged, alerting everyone their favorite boys had arrived.
The smile that had been playing on my face showed up in full force. Jet was Amy-less because she was tutoring tonight. He surveyed the bar like a ringmaster, instead of the clown he was. “Fucking karaoke night. Fuck, yeah.”
The bar broke into cheers and cat calls. Van and D were side by side, more for D’s benefit since he was looking down at his phone not paying attention to where he was going.
Kill came in last, and my heart beat faster from the sight of him. He was in a pair of black jeans and a long sleeve dark blue shirt. His hair flopped over his forehead, because like D, he was looking down at his phone. I heard a collective sigh of female appreciation and hoped mine blended in with everyone else.
He put his phone in his pocket, winking at me as he passed. I scrunched my nose at him and acted like the simple act of him winking at me didn’t send my whole system in sexual shock.
Ryan was already placing beers on a tray for them. Jessie hung back, helping a group of women pick the best margarita. She was stalling, and I hated she was letting such a good thing crumble because of her fears.
My conscience tried to butt in, but I pushed it back not wanting to hear it. I tried to convince myself that my situation with Kill was different, and I was being smart to keep away.
After several attempts of Van trying to get Jessie's attention, she gave in. They smiled at each other, and after taking an order, she went to him. She kissed him on the cheek before going to the bar.
My phone vibrated, making my legs wobble as I fished it out of my apron.
Wanted to put you out of your
misery and show up. So you
can stop daydreaming about
me. Besides, I didn’t want to
miss the show.
His smartass text made me laugh, confused what show he was talking about. My phone showed I missed a private call, making my stomach drop from the reminder that Jason was still lurking about.
Seeing Jason in the parking lot verified it was him at the grocery store. He was playing games, wanting me to break the restraining order, but I refused to take the bait.
I took my tray, wanting to ask Kill to about his cryptic message. Before I reached him, I got my answer.
DJ Smoke announced his next victim. “I need Faith to get her ass up here and rock my joint.”
I searched out Kill with murder in my eyes. His head was on the table, his shoulders shaking with laughter. Van, D, and Jet chanted my name while banging their fists on the table.
“Faith, Faith.”
Reaching over I smacked the back of Kill’s head. I snatched the beer I just put in front of him and downed half. He lifted up, still laughing while rubbing where I hit him, and smacked me on the ass.
“Get your ass up there, Slick.” His words were coming out choppy as he tried to contain his laughter.
“I'm going to kick your ass,” I hissed, as I went over to Ryan, hoping if I ignored him long enough the DJ would have to put someone else onstage.
“Get your ass onstage or I'll carry you up there,” Kill said with challenge in his eyes.
I flipped him off on my way toward the stage. In the booth I figured if I was going to be a bear, I might as well be a grizzly; whatever the fuck that meant.
I didn’t have time to be nervous because the song started immediately. Halestorm’s 'I Miss the Misery' began to play. I sang my heart out, letting the lyrics that always struck close to home flow out of me.
Everything Jason put me through was vomited out of me through the music. When I finished, I turned off the microphone and dropped it, deciding a drop and walk was the only way to finish off my embarrassing moment.
Scrambling off the stage, I stopped when I noticed the whole bar was quiet. DJ Smoke's mouth hung open and I hoped I wasn’t awful.
The boys applauded first, screaming my name. Then the rest of the bar clapped, and some whistled as I made my way toward the boys. DJ Smoke got his senses back, saying he felt sorry for the person g
oing after me.
I stalked over ready to kick Kill’s ass for his little stunt. I had been inconspicuous for so long, being under Jason’s rule. All the attention made me wary as if I was tempting fate by waving my newfound independence around.
I fought back the urge to keep myself from running to the bathroom and getting sick. Jet ran over and spun me around, I swallowed the bile rising up my throat. He put me down and slung his arm around my shoulder as he guided me to the table.
Van picked me up, pushing Jet’s arm off my shoulder, and gave me a hug. I refused to look at Kill. My emotions weren't in check to deal with the havoc he caused me.
“That was awesome,” D gushed.
“That was fucking hot,” Jet added.
“Why didn’t you tell us you could sing?” Van asked, plopping me down on the chair he vacated.
I tried to get up, remembering I was at work and I couldn’t just sit on my ass while everyone else worked.
Jessie came over and kissed my cheek. “I've got your tables under control. Take some time to bask in your glory.”
Van grabbed her before she could walk away and kissed her. She stopped herself before she got caught up in the moment and pushed away.
“You were awesome, Slick,” Kill said. His voice was husky and my body quivered from the vibration.
I scowled at him. “You're an ass, Kill. I hate attention. Don’t think just because I didn’t bomb you're getting away with this.”
He smiled widely at me, but D responded.
“Faith, you weren't even close to bombing! And don’t get mad at Kill, it was partially my fault. Kill told me your voice would be perfect for a song he wrote. We figured this would be the best way to test you out.”
I leaned over and kissed D on the cheek.
“You're free from my retribution, because I love you, and you apologized. I'm not singing one of your songs though. You guys are on a whole other plane.” I looked pointedly at Kill. “You on the other hand, are dead.”
Kill laughed, and I figured I had lounged around long enough.
