by Joy Eileen
“We’ll talk about the song later,” D said, as I got up.
I took the tray Ryan had filled up for Jessie to deliver. Ryan did a mock bow over the bar when she saw me.
“Fuck girly, I didn’t know you had pipes like that. You got my panties all wet.”
The guy sipping his beer at the bar, while staring at Ryan’s ass, spit out his drink at her declaration. I got my instructions from Jessie as to where I needed to deliver my orders, while Ryan rolled her eyes and went over to clean up the mess.
People stopped me to praise my performance, telling me they couldn’t wait for tomorrow night’s encore. I tried to tell them it was a one-time thing, but the tips being shoved at me made me rethink my position.
Kill waited around for me with Van, who was waiting for a very skittish Jessie, as we closed down the bar. Jet left when he got a text from Amy, and I understood what Ryan was talking about earlier. Just from his face alone I could tell he had a picture of naked Amy in his head.
D left before last call, kissing me on the cheek and saying he would talk to me tomorrow about my duet. I wanted to argue with him, but I was afraid it would ruin the progress I was making on our friendship.
In the breakroom it took Jessie three times to get the combination right on her locker.
“Hey, are you ok?” I asked, hoping I wasn't stepping over the boundaries she set for me.
I understood being in a predicament you didn’t want anyone to be involved in. I did the same thing to her with Jason, and I knew how much it sucked.
“I don’t know,” she replied, putting her forehead on her locker.
“Jessie, I love you and I don’t want to overstep my boundaries. You respected mine when I didn’t want to tell you about Jason. So I'm just going to tell you I love you, and I think Van loves you too.”
She sighed heavily and turned around wrapping her arms around me tightly. “I think I love him too. It's just I've seen so many girls get hooked up with a band and watched them get their hearts smashed when they leave. My dad's right, it’s not something I want again.”
I wanted to ask what she meant, but she shook her head against my shoulder. And really, what right did I have to argue with her, I was having the same reservations about Kill.
“I've never disobeyed my parents or grandparents. I've always had their support, and them not agreeing with my decision to date Van is torture. I get why they're upset; there are things in my past that have made them cautious. I let my dad’s doubts turn my feelings around and convince me I need to get as far away from Van as possible, but then I see him, and I can’t remember what my dad said. Van's bringing up so many bad memories.”
Hugging her tightly, I wondered if I could sneak in some advice.
“Jessie, they love you very much, and they'll come to terms with any decision you make because they want you to be happy. You should talk to them again; let them know Van isn’t the average rocker.”
My conscience rolled its eyes, declaring me a lost cause.
Jessie smiled at me through watery eyes. “I'll think about it. That's as much as I can promise.”
The boys were talking to Catcher when we walked out. Kill caught my eye and winked. I rolled my eyes making him give me a half-smile. He had a paper bag in his hand, and he stuffed it behind his back when he saw me eyeing it.
Van gave Jessie a wary look as we approached, not sure how to act around her, since she had been standoffish all night. Jessie circled her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. Van let out a sigh, and I hoped he wouldn’t give up on her. Catcher fist bumped Van and Kill before giving me a hug.
“You were great tonight, Faith. You should've seen all of the guys I had to keep from jumping onstage while you were singing. I can’t wait for tomorrow night.”
Kill frowned. When he caught me looking at him, he quickly erased the frown on his face.
Van told us he was going to drive home with Jessie, leaving Kill with me. Kill bumped my shoulder with his arm, and I tried to look annoyed.
“You’re an ass.” I told him while we were driving home.
“You loved every minute of it,” he responded smugly, and I wanted to knock his ego down a notch.
“Actually, I didn’t. I'm not used to attention. I always kept a low profile in hopes I wouldn’t trigger Jason. I keep thinking about what you said; he isn’t going to give up, and I don’t want to trigger him into action.”
Kill's face was filled with understanding as I pulled into my now designated spot and shut the car off. “I'm so sorry.”
He looked pale, and I felt I may have went too far. Especially since I seem to already be on Jason’s radar, and it had nothing to do with Kill’s stunt.
“I should've thought about that. You were just so good in the car.”
I put my hand on his leg as guilt surged through me. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I'm just mad at you for pulling that on me without telling me; although, if you did, I would have talked you out of it.”
“You were so fucking sexy up there. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you, and I almost had to kick some guys' asses that were staring at you.”
I raised my eyebrow at his admission while my insides did a happy dance.
“Well, as your friend it's my job to stick up for you, right?”
“Yes, I guess that would be your job, and I appreciate you doing it so thoroughly.”
We stared at each other, smiling like idiots. I yawned, and Kill laughed at me, reaching back to grab the paper bag I forgotten about while looking at him like a teenager with her first crush.
“Whatcha got there, Killer?” I asked as we strolled up the walkway.
His arm was around my shoulder, and I snuggled into his side siphoning off his heat. I reached for the bag but he snatched it back.
“Go sit down. I got this.”
He wouldn’t budge until I sat down in the living room. I flipped on the T.V, and channel surfed until I found Remember the Titans.
Kill came out of the kitchen with big plates of onion rings, french fries, cheese sticks, and nachos.
“Oh, shit. We're so going to have to run tomorrow,” I told him while snatching up a chip and sticking it in my mouth.
“Shut up. You hardly ever eat. Always pushing your food around on your plate, thinking nobody's watching while you do it.”
I smiled at him and took another chip, as he snatched a fry. We sat in silence, watching the movie and gorging ourselves.
At the end, I was crying and remembered why I never watched that damn movie. I tried to let my tears fall silently down my cheek so Kill wouldn’t see me, but in order to keep snot from running down my face I sniffled loudly.
“Ahh, baby, don’t cry,” he cooed, as he tried to hide his smile.
“Shut up."
I got up to take the almost empty plates to the kitchen. As I wiped my eyes on a napkin, he came up behind me and hugged me.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make fun of you. It’s cute you get all girly over a movie.”
I nudged him in the ribs with my elbow, making him fall back, but he didn’t let go of me completely.
“I'm a girl, what can I say?”
“I know,” he responded under his breath.
Following him into the garage, I watched as he changed the clothes from the washer to the dryer, folding the dry clothes. He handed me my stuff and put the rest on the bottom stair.
Upstairs we lingered in the hallway, not ready to say goodnight, but not having a reason to stay with each other longer.
“Goodnight, Slick. I'll see you in the morning for our run. I don’t want you getting all huge from our nightly snacks.”
He winked at me, and I rolled my eyes, reining my tongue in. Even with my vagina telling me this would be the perfect time to unleash it from my mouth.
“Night, Killer.”
I climbed into bed dressed in my running clothes. Just thinking of Kill made my heart speed up, and I smiled as I drifted off to sl
eep, with Pop Evil in my ears and Kill on my mind.
Chapter 14
When I woke up I jumped out of bed, excited to spend more time with Kill. I rushed into the bathroom to get ready. Instead of skipping, I forced myself to walk downstairs. Afraid I'd look too eager. Kill was on the couch drinking his protein shake.
“Mornin', Slick,” he said lazily, as if he had just gotten up himself, and was pushing sleep from his system.
“Shut up. I'm not awake yet.” I pretend grumbled.
Coming back from the kitchen I handed him a bottle of water while peeling a banana, not wanting to argue over my eating habits so early. As I finished my food I tried not to look at him. It was futile. He was just so beautiful, and I couldn't stop my eyes from devouring him.
As we cooled down from our run, Kill asked, “What're you doing today?”
“I'm planning on working on my thesis. What about you, anything exciting?”
“I'm working on a new song, but nothing exciting,” he said before we went our separate ways.
After my shower, I put on a pair of pajama pants, a sports bra, and tank top putting my hair up and securing it with a pen. While my laptop warmed up, there was a knock on my door.
Kill came in before I could tell him to. He had a notebook, similar to the one D was normally poring over, in his hand. Clearing some free space on my bed he sat down, leaning against the headboard.
“Thought you could use some company.”
I scooted closer until we were touching.
“Get to work, lazy. When you graduate, I'm giving up the band and letting you take care of me.”
“Oh, hell no! I'm expecting you guys to hit it big, eventually forgetting you even have this house, making it all mine. I already have my muumuu picked out, and I'm thinking about getting a bunch of cats.…even though I’m allergic.”
“You would look hot in a muumuu.”
I laughed, before we lapsed into silence, both of us putting words down in our own respective ways. My playlist played quietly, and every so often, Kill would sing along softly.
His voice, no matter how low, was commanding, and when he would sing, I would stop typing to focus on him.
“Get to work, slacker,” he demanded, when he caught me.
“Well, stop singing,” I replied, secretly hoping he wouldn't.
“You don’t like my singing?” he asked, pretending to be offended.
“For somebody so smart, you ask a lot of stupid questions,” I told him, nudging him.
“You can’t blame a guy for trying to get a compliment from a pretty girl. Especially when said girl refuses to give them to me.”
“You're unreal.”
Hours later, I couldn't concentrate any longer. He closed his notebook when he saw me shutting everything down.
“Did you get enough done today?” he asked nervously. He was worried he had disrupted me.
“Yes, Killer, you aren’t as distracting as you think you are.”
He gave me a wicked look before tackling me and tickling me until I was screaming. D opened my door and surveyed us as he leaned on the doorjamb.
“I told you to talk her into singing with us. I wasn’t expecting you to torture her into submission.” Displeasure was evident in his voice.
“I haven’t asked her about the song. I was just going to call her a chicken when she said no. Maybe use the whole, ‘we took you in and made you a part of our family and it's the least you can do’ argument.”
Kill acted as if me being pinned under him was a normal occurrence. D shook his head and continued the conversation like I wasn't present.
“Sounds like a plan. If that doesn’t work you could tell her it would mean a lot to me. Save me from the anguish I would endure listening to a bunch of singers, trying to find the right one, when we've already found her.”
“Hello, I can hear you,” I said, sticking my bottom lip out, pouting like a five year old.
“Good, then we don’t have to repeat ourselves. Practice in fifteen,” D yelled down the hall, getting Van and Jet to meet us downstairs.
Kill jumped up and adjusted his pants. I averted my gaze. He put his hand out, so he could help me off the bed. I slammed into him from the momentum of him yanking me at the same time I lifted up.
His eyelids went heavy, and he leaned toward me. My body flowed with desire as I leaned into him.
“Ahh, Slick. You don’t have to throw yourself at me.”
And just like that, I was able to get my desire in check. He winked, and I was pretty sure it was for my benefit, figuring I wasn't ready for what he was offering.
“Come on, I will help you with dinner so we can practice.”
Nervousness skittered down my spine when I saw his obvious excitement from the thought of me singing with them. I followed him, afraid I was going to make a fool of myself. With dinner in the oven, I had forty-five minutes to embarrass myself.
“Come on, Slick, it will be quick and easy.”
“That’s what she said,” I replied.
He groaned and put his arm around me. “And just when I think you're done with the surprises you throw out a ‘that’s what she said'.”
Kill moved his car quickly, coming back into the garage giddy with energy. Amy was trying to sit still, waiting for practice to start.
“Where’s Jessie?” I asked, right before she walked in.
She looked like she was trying not to cry, and I gave her a hug.
“What’s up?” I asked, so only she could hear me.
“Later,” she mouthed, and I gave her a look, letting her know I wasn't going to let her off the hook.
“Ok, let's start with the song I want Faith to sing,” D explained.
Jet bounded over to me with his guitar strung behind him. “You're going to make this song so fucking badass.”
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.
“I don’t know guys. I don’t think I'm as good as you think. Promise me if I'm horrible you'll tell me; it won’t hurt my feelings.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Jet yelled at me.
Amy caught my eye and gave me a thumbs up. The sight of her boundless energy lowered my anxiety.
On a stool next to the microphone was one of the many notebooks that floated around the house. It was open to a page with lyrics written across it.
“Ok, this is the song. We'll go through it once without you. Kill will sing it, letting you get acquainted. Then we will go through it with you, and tweak whatever we need to until it sounds right.” D squeezed my shoulder before moving into position.
“You're going to be great. Just relax and do what you did last night,” Van encouraged me from behind his drums.
I took a deep breath, pushing back the fear trying not to pass out.
“Deep breaths, Slick. It’s just us. Focus on me.”
Kill’s voice was soothing, making the fear fade away. When my eyes connected with his, it disappeared.
“That’s my girl.” He smiled at me, signaling Van to start. Kill sang the lyrics as I read along. Signaling which parts would be mine.
The lyrics were heart wrenching. Every word burrowed into my soul. Kill sang about finding someone and as soon as they entered his life, he knew his world would never be the same. And no matter how hard being together was, there was no other option.
My whole being ached for the love he described. When the song ended, I was embarrassed I had to blink away tears shimmering in my eyes.
“Are you ready, Faith, or do you want to hear it again?” D asked, as I cleared my throat to get rid of the tightness.
“No, I’m good. I just hope I can do it justice; it's beautiful.”
I wanted to study Kill’s face, to see if he had experienced this all-consuming love, but I couldn't lift my eyes.
“You'll be perfect,” he whispered, his voice husky with emotion.
When the song started again, I was lost in him. His body turned toward mine, and I heated up when the intimate words buried the
mselves within me.
When he reached the part, right before my verse, I started singing, feeling it was a better way to meld our voices. His eyes widened with surprise, a smile playing on his lips.
As the song continued, we gravitated toward each other, inches away from one another as we sang the last line.
Our voices ended on a breathless note, and for a moment, it was the two of us, but that ended abruptly when Amy and Jessie began clapping. We jumped apart like guilty teenagers. Jet picked me up, and swung me around.
“That was so fucking hot,” he screamed, putting me down where I was immediately lifted into Van’s arms so he could swing me around.
The girls jumped around, telling me how great I was. I glanced over their heads to see Kill's intense stare. He flashed me his panty-dropping grin and winked.
D broke into the girls' praise, ordering them to sit so we could finish.
“That was great. I liked you coming in sooner. It's unbelievable you have never heard this song. Honestly, it sounded like this song was yours.” He gave me a one armed hug. “How’s your voice?” he asked concerned, but unable to hide the excitement of another run through.
“It’s fine; you have twenty minutes left before I have to get dinner.”
“Let’s do this then,” D commanded, skipping back to his place.
Kill would stop throughout the song, making changes here and there, and by the fourth time, with all the tweaks, the song was even better.
After going over it one more time, Kill called it officially done. I had to admit, with the band backing me up, and Kill with me on vocals, it sounded pretty damn good.
I made my excuse about needing to finish dinner in order to get away from the boys' praise. I jerked my head toward the door, signaling Jessie to follow me. Amy nodded her head, so engrossed in watching Jet play, I wasn't sure she heard Jessie tell her she was going to help me.
I busied myself in the kitchen, giving Jessie time to get her thoughts together.
“What’s going on Jess?” I asked when the silence got to be too much.
She leapt up on the counter while I made a salad. “I told Van I didn’t want to tell my parents about him until after graduation,” she answered, snatching a piece of tomato.
