Breaking Faith (The JackholeS Book 1)

by Joy Eileen

  “I just predicted the JackholeS will be discovered before I graduate, and Kill's going to give me his car.”

  Ray laughed, but then sobered immediately. “How soon are you going to be graduating?”

  “I will be able to get my degree this summer.”

  Ray groaned and ran his fingers through his silver hair. “I guess I'll have to find a new band soon.” The guys cheered louder, and Jet ran over, picking Ray up and swinging him around.

  Kill yanked me down off the chair, causing me to shriek when I collided into his hard body.

  “I hope you're right, but what are you going to do with your new car when you're on tour with us?” He smacked me on the ass as he walked back to the table. “Stop screwing around; get back to work, slacker, I want to go home,” he yelled over his shoulder.

  I stood there and watched him walk to the table, in shock he would assume I would go on tour with them. Ryan cleared her throat while Denise giggled.

  “I know it's an amazing view, but can you help us so you can get that fine boy home.”

  We put everything away as Catcher and the rest of the boys helped us put the chairs on the table for the cleaning crew. Once we were done, Kill followed me to my locker and sat at the table.

  Bambi walked over to stand in front of Kill. “Hey, Kill, wanna come out to my car again?” She looked over at me and back at him, batting her heavily laden eyelashes.

  “Not tonight, Bambi, I'll be here tomorrow, maybe then.” He looked from her to me, in what I assumed was a reminder I was near.

  “Fine, I understand.” She looked at me again, and I almost told him to go out and fuck her so she would stop being such a bitch, but I didn’t because…. I'm not that stupid.

  “Ready to go?” he asked, shouldering my bag, as he handed me the keys to his car. With his keys in my hand, my mood lifted.

  “Yep, let’s go Killer. I want some of the chocolate ice cream we bought.” It was a childish jab with Bambi still standing there, but I couldn’t help it.

  “That sounds good. You can scoop me a bowl when we get home.” He slung his arm around my shoulder, leading us out the door. “Night, Bambi. I'll see you tomorrow.”

  “Alright, Kill, see you tomorrow.” She put a lot of emphasis in her words, and her sentence sounded dirty.

  After we shouted our goodbyes, Kill led me out of the bar. I bounced on my toes the closer we got to his car.

  “Are you happy?” he asked amused at my reaction.

  “Yep, I've been thinking about this all night.” I got into the car and adjusted the seat, since he was taller than me, and he leaned his seat all the way back. “How do you drive so far away from the steering wheel?” I asked, finally getting the seat adjusted. Just then nerves shot through me.

  “Getting cold feet?”

  “You know what, you didn’t drink too much. Maybe you should just drive.”

  “What's this about, Slick?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, thinking this was a mistake.

  “Talk to me, please.”

  “I know how much you love this car, and I'm afraid I'll do something stupid. I was told I’m not the greatest driver,” I confessed.

  “You'll be fine. I trust you, and I do love my car, but it's just a car. You're going to be fine. There's nobody on the road right now, and there's a bowl of chocolate ice cream waiting for us.” He gave me his half-smile and winked, a deadly combination. The engine rumbled to life, and I took a deep breath before driving out of the parking lot.

  With every block, I became more relaxed. When I turned on our street, I was sad it was over.

  “You look hot driving my car,” Kill remarked, as I parked in the garage.

  “Thank you.” I took the keys out of the ignition and handed them to him. He slapped me on the ass as we walked into the house.

  “Now go get me a bowl of ice cream.”

  The alpha attitude wasn’t going to fly with me, and I wanted to put him in his place. “Fine, I'll make you a bowl, but I'm tired. So I'm just going to go to bed.”

  His eyes widened, and he came closer. “Are you feeling ok? Do you want me to help you get to bed?” He went to pick me up, and I couldn’t hold back the laughter.

  I slapped him on the ass. “Gotcha.”

  “What the hell?”

  “Well, you were acting like a badass rocker, so I wanted to put you down a peg or two.”

  He lifted me up, and threw me over his shoulder, carrying me to the kitchen and placing me on the counter. Kill got out two bowls from the cupboard as I looked around to see a spotless kitchen.

  “Who cleaned?” I asked, looking out into the living room noticing it was sparkling too.

  “We have a lady. She works around our schedule.”

  “That makes sense. I wondered why the house was so clean when I first moved in. Honestly, I was surprised a bunch of rocker boys lived here.”

  He grinned at me and pulled the ice cream out of the fridge.

  “Kill, I was just messing with you. I can get my own.”

  “I know you can, but you were right. I was being a sexy alpha ass to you. So sit your pretty little ass on the counter and watch my sexy ass make you a bowl of ice cream.”

  While the hot fudge warmed up, he took out the whipped cream. I watched him work and smiled when he made a happy face with the whipped cream. “Stay there,” he ordered.

  He put everything away and took the two bowls to the living room. Coming back, Kill picked me up off the counter and carried me to the couch. He handed me a bowl and took the other for himself.

  “What do you want to watch?”

  I put the spoon in my mouth and bit back a moan as the hot fudge and cold ice cream collided together. “Huh?” I asked, forgetting what he asked me.

  He gave me a half-smile and grabbed my hand with the next bite on it and guided it into his mouth, sucking the spoon clean before releasing my hand.

  “Why did you do that? You have your own.” I pointed my now spotless spoon to his bowl.

  “You seemed to be enjoying yours more, so I wanted to see if yours tasted different.” He exchanged our bowls.

  “What the hell?” I screeched, reaching for my stolen ice cream.

  “I want yours.”

  He stuck his tongue out at me, and ate his stolen treat with vigor.

  “Be careful there Killer, next time I see that I'm going to suck on it until you moan,” I retorted.

  He stuck out his tongue again, leaning into me.

  “You’re an ass,” I replied breathlessly.

  “But you still love me.” He looked back at the T.V. and flipped through channels. I finished most of what he had scooped for himself, but threw in the towel groaning.

  “Done?”

  I nodded my head, and he took both of our bowls to the kitchen. I toed off my shoes and tucked my feet under me, leaning on the side of the couch.

  Kill came back and asked, “Feet, or head?”

  I couldn't figure out what he was asking.

  “What's going to end up in my lap?”

  “Oh, not my feet. I've been on them all night, so I guess my head.”

  “I don’t care,” he responded, trying to pull my feet out from under me.

  “I do,” I said, flipping around and putting my head on his lap.

  He found something to watch while I snuggled into him. He ran his hand through my hair, and my eyes got heavy. “Are you falling asleep?”

  I jerked a little, blinking my eyes to get them focused. “No,” I said, the sleep evident in my voice.

  “You were snoring.”

  “I don’t snore,” I replied “Do I?”

  He laughed, pulling me up to him, so I sat on his lap, with my head pressed into his shoulder, and my face in his neck. “No, you don’t snore, but you have to have some faults.”

  I wanted to look at him as I listed off my many faults, but the position I was in was too comfortable, so I answered into his neck. “My faults would take a lifetim
e to list.”

  “I don’t believe it, give me one,” he taunted, rubbing circles on my back with his palm.

  “I'm a horrible judge of character,” I sighed into his neck, which seemed to be the center of where his delicious smell came from, and I loved that I currently had an unlimited supply of it in this position.

  “Ahh, come on. Give me something good.”

  I shook my head, burying my nose further into his neck, hoping I wasn’t impaling him. “Nope, you asked for one. That's all you get tonight, Killer.” I was hit by a huge yawn making my eyes water from the intensity.

  “Do you want to go to bed, Slick?”

  “I know I should say yes, but is it bad I'm comfortable right here?” Sleep made the truth easier to admit. His hand went still on my back, and I was afraid I said too much.

  “I'm comfortable here too. How about we go and lay down in your bed, and I'll stay there until you fall asleep. Like last night?”

  Finally, after wondering all day, he confirmed he stayed in my bed. The speeding in my heart increased.

  “Slick?” I had been so distracted by his confession, I forgot to answer him.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want you to think you have to.” I squeezed my eyes together, so when the blow came I could fend it off.

  “Shut up.” Was the only response I got as he shut the T.V. off and carried me toward my room.

  “You know I have legs, right?” I asked, trying to alleviate the tension.

  “Didn’t I tell you to shut up?”

  I smiled into his neck and bit my tongue before I let it slip out of my mouth to take a taste, positive it would be an instant addiction.

  “And yes, I have noticed your legs, often,” he rumbled.

  In my room he put me down on my bed. Running his hands through his hair. He was having an internal struggle, and I wanted to comfort him. I let him off the hook of trying to undress me again.

  “I have to wash my face, or I'll have pimples all over it. Why don’t you go change, and I'll meet you back in here.”

  His damn shit-eating grin returned, and I wasn't prepared for his response. “I sleep in the nude.”

  My whole body flushed red picturing him in bed naked. He waited for me to respond, and I resorted to sarcasm. “Well, Killer, I know you have gym shorts. Please don’t go into shock that there's a girl in this world who doesn’t want to see you naked.”

  He moved so our foreheads touched. “Liar,” he whispered, licking the tip of my nose.

  “Ass,” I replied, just before he walked out of my room, to which he responded by smacking his butt.

  I got my clothes and sprinted into the bathroom. After I changed and performed my nightly routine I went back to see if I had beat him, he was smugly sitting against my headboard in a pair of gym shorts.

  “What took you so long?”

  “I was hoping if I took long enough you would fall asleep, and I wouldn’t have to talk to your dumbass.”

  I climbed under the covers, trying to keep the drool pooling in my mouth from leaking out at the sight of his naked abs, defined in all the right places. Wanting to trace every line with my tongue.

  “You get mean when you're sleepy.” He lifted his hips up so he could move the covers down and pull them over him. He crawled closer, pulling my arm around his waist as I fit my head on his chest.

  When I was comfortable, I tried to make myself fall back to sleep, but my body wanted nothing to do with sleep. Kill ran his fingers up and down my arm while I listened to his heartbeat.

  “You were amazing tonight. You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

  From that simple statement, another piece of my heart belonged to him.

  “No, I didn’t get hurt. It was just overwhelming. I'm not used to having attention thrown at me. I like being in the background, and since I've met you, I seem to be in the spotlight more than ever.”

  “Did you mean what you said about getting back onstage with us next week?”

  “I did. Unless I was super awful, and you're trying to spare my feelings.”

  “You don’t know how to take a compliment do you, Slick?”

  “It's easier to believe the bad, but I'm always wary of the good, unsure if they're being honest, or they just want something.” I was tracing little circles around his stomach, focusing on making each loop the same circumference while I told him yet another one of my faults.

  I felt like the biggest hypocrite since I'd just told Jessie not everyone had an agenda even though I felt the same way.

  “Well you're going to have to get used to it. You fucking rock, and everyone's going to want to tell you. Personally, I think you sound like a dying cat.”

  I laughed messing up my circle pattern. “I always thought you sounded like a dying cat too, so I guess we make a good pair.”

  He chuckled, and I gave up on my circles, placing my hand flat on his hard abs. “Thanks. I was afraid my ego was going to inflate, but you seem to keep it in check.”

  “No problem, Killer, I'll keep you in line.”

  “I'm counting on it,” he mumbled. His eyes were closed, concluding the conversation. He switched to rubbing my back, and my eyes became heavy, and I went willingly as sleep dragged me away.

  Chapter 19

  My phone rang in my bag, pulling me from my dreams. I ignored the disappointment I felt at waking up alone.

  The screen flashed “private,” and my stomach dropped as I hit dismiss. How stupid of me to expect Jason would back off after our confrontation.

  Chomping on my morning Tums, my phone rang again. How did he still have so much control over my life? In a moment of insanity, I answered the call. I wanted him to know the routine had been changed, and he couldn't presume my reaction. Placing the phone to my ear for a second before my sanity returned, and I pressed end.

  In the bathroom I got ready for my run. Just the thought of Kill made me smile, Jason’s phone call forgotten for a moment.

  Kill didn’t get as many cracks at my ass as usual, during our run. Once upstairs, I took a shower, keeping my hair down so it would dry before work. After getting dressed, Kill came in carrying a plate of sandwiches.

  “Hungry?”

  “Whatcha got?”

  He sat on the ground, propping his back up against the bed. I scooted next to him. He handed me a sandwich, and I grinned when I took a bite.

  “Peanut butter and jelly, huh?”

  “Nothing but the best,” he replied, digging into his sandwich.

  “I haven’t had one of these in forever. I forgot how good they are.”

  “Really? The girl who eats peanut butter on her pancakes and in her cereal. Hell, I figured you lived off these things,” he responded, finishing his and putting the plate on the dresser.

  “That was awesome, thank you,” I said, sitting back in front of my computer.

  We were lost in our work when a phone rang. It took a moment to realize it was mine, by the time I got to it the call had been sent to my voicemail. I sighed internally when Robert’s number was displayed. Kill craned his neck to read the screen, not even trying to hide his actions.

  “Who was it?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

  “Just some guy.”

  “Any more private calls?” he asked, not digging for details.

  I was embarrassed at the hurt I felt when he didn’t seem to care about some random guy calling me.

  “I had two this morning. I answered the second time, but I hung up before he said anything.”

  The tick came back, and I focused on his flashing dimple. “Faith.” He shut his mouth and ran his hands through his hair. He looked so lost. I crawled over my papers to reach him and put my arms around him. “This being friends thing's fucking hard,” he growled.

  Dread washed over me, thinking he was fed up with my drama. “If you don’t want to be friends, I understand. I won’t like it because you have become such a big piece in my new life, but I won't force you.”

  He stood up, b
reaking apart my encircled arms, grief prominent in his eyes. “I need to go practice. They want you to come and practice later. See you.” He rushed out of my room, and my eyes prickled with tears I would never let fall.

  Ugh, I can’t believe I let myself become one of those girls that pined for a guy. I gave myself a pep talk, pulling up my big girl panties so I could be someone I could be proud of.

  I didn’t leave Jason to let another guy screw with my emotions. Putting everything away, I was certain I wouldn’t get any more work done. I contemplated hiding out in my room, but sucked it up. If the boys needed me to sing, then I would, no hiding.

  It was my fault for letting myself become too emotionally attached to an unavailable, sexy as hell boy, and the band shouldn’t have to suffer. Van and Jessie were snuggling on the couch when I made it downstairs.

  “I thought you were practicing right now?” I asked.

  He gave me a puzzled look, and Jessie sat up extricating herself from Van’s grasp. “We were later, right before you left for work. So you could sing your song before you left, and I know D wants to try another one, but we weren’t doing that until tomorrow,” Van answered, trying to grab Jessie and bring her back.

  “Oh.” Kill lied to get away from me. Jessie pulled me toward the kitchen, telling Van she was going to help me with dinner.

  “Are you ok? You turned as white as a ghost when you saw us on the couch,” she asked, feeling my forehead like I was a feverish child.

  “Yes, I'm fine, it's just, well...” I stopped, unsure what to say, she just nodded understanding what I couldn't verbalize.

  “We have a lot of catching up to do.”

  I hugged her, seeking comfort.

  “So, since we're pushing all of our emotions down until tomorrow, what's for dinner?” she asked, sitting on the counter, waiting for me to put her to work.

  With dinner in the oven, we ran upstairs to get ready for work. I always marveled at how Jessie could look at herself in the mirror for a long period of time; maybe she didn’t hate what looked back at her as much as I did.

  I put my makeup on in a rush, only checking to make sure I didn’t look like a five year old armed with a box of crayons attacked me. I left to go check on the food while Jessie finished up. As I walked out, Amy and Jet emerged from Jet’s room all smiles.