Breaking Faith (The JackholeS Book 1)

by Joy Eileen

  “I want you so much. I can’t think straight when I'm near you; all I can think about is getting you naked and touching every inch of your body.”

  My body shuddered at his words.

  “You need to tell me to stop, because I'm not strong enough to do it on my own. I know you aren’t ready for this, and I don’t want to screw this up, so please tell me to stop,” He pleaded with me; his hand was branded into my skin.

  My tongue darted out of my mouth to wet my lips, and his eyes zeroed in on the movement, the tick in his jaw was evident as he clenched his jaw shut. “Kill.”

  His eyes returned to mine waiting for me to deny or invite him to finish what both of us wanted. I opened my mouth not sure what would come out when D closed his door and made his way downstairs. We scrambled apart positioning ourselves on opposite sides of the couch, pretending to watch the movie.

  Kill sarcastic laugh sounded harsh to my ears, and I glanced over at him to see him staring intently at the T.V. while his dimple danced on and off of his cheek. D, ignorant of what he had once again interrupted, sat in the middle of us.

  “That was the guy who wants us to sing in the music festival on Thanksgiving. He's positive he can get us in,” D said to Kill, enthusiasm evident in his voice.

  “That's great,” Kill growled, causing D to look at him like he was ready to go for round two.

  “What's your problem, man? I've been busting my ass to get us into this thing, and you're being a complete prick,” D yelled.

  Kill’s shoulders slumped, and he looked over at him apologetically. “Sorry, that's great. I'm just tired.”

  Guilt speared through me. I was the reason he was being so short with his friend, even though I wasn’t doing it on purpose. I was basically a tease.

  Every time Kill and I were about to start something somebody walked in on us, or I gave him the 'let’s be friends spiel.' I was an asshole. My thighs clenched when I pictured Kill’s hand suspended on my stomach, creeping slowly toward the center of my heat.

  He mentioned I wasn't ready to start something, and as much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I wanted to believe he wanted me, but my self-esteem was too damaged to trust him. Kill was an amazing person, and he deserved someone who could give him their whole being.

  D blocked my view of Kill. His words came back to haunt me. He told Kill I was too smart to fall for his good guy act, and once I gave in to the chase, I would be dropped for the next hunt, but I doubted I was as strong as D thought I was.

  The back and forth my heart and brain were doing made me want to scream. I would never ask Kill if it was just the chase or something more, and if I did, I wouldn't believe the answer anyway.

  I stared blankly at the T.V., no longer trying to keep up the ploy of watching it as thoughts ransacked my brain, making me feel like my skin was too tight.

  “Do you want to watch another movie?” D asked me, and I blinked, bringing myself back from my whirling thoughts to see the credits rolling.

  Kill leaned over so he could see me, both were peering at me.

  “No, I think I'm ready for bed.” I stood up quickly, only my foot had fallen asleep, so when I stood, it felt like it wasn’t there, and I went down as soon as I was up. Kill reached across D and caught me before I collided with the table.

  “Easy there.” He pulled me to his side, and I leaned on him, still not recovered from the lack of feeling in my foot.

  “My foot fell asleep,” I mumbled, glaring at it like the traitor it was.

  Kill laughed, and D got up to stand on the other side of me.

  “Are you ok? Do you need help getting upstairs?” he asked, his hands hovering over me.

  “I’m fine. I think I can walk now,” I said, putting weight on it, satisfied it would hold me.

  “I got you.” Kill lifted me up, putting me over his shoulder and walking toward the stairs.

  “I can walk, Kill, put me down,” I said halfheartedly.

  D was frowning as we ascended the staircase. I gave him a what-can-you-do look, and pain registered in his eyes. I hoped this didn’t set our friendship back.

  “Night D. I'll see you later, hopefully while I'm standing on my own two feet without this caveman throwing me around.”

  Kill walked into my room and pulled the covers down before putting me down. He began taking off his shoes, and I stopped him.

  “What are you doing?” I hissed.

  “Getting into bed,” he answered as he reached down to take his shirt off.

  “D's still awake. If he doesn’t see you coming out of my room he's going to know you're sleeping in here, and he isn’t going to understand this is just a friend perk,” I whispered, pointing at the door as I spoke.

  Kill looked over at the door and then back at the bed. “But I'm tired,” he whined as he picked up his shoes and shoved his feet into them.

  “Sorry, Killer, you don’t want them to think that I'm giving it up to you, do you? That isn’t what friends do,” I said as he finished putting on his shoes.

  “No, I don’t want them thinking anything about us until you and I figure out what this is.” He waited for me to argue, but I kept my mouth shut.

  “I can’t promise I'll be back. If I wait for D to go to sleep, I might fall asleep before I can get back in here.”

  “Your side will be waiting for you if you come back,” I said, rolling over because my resolve was melting fast from the heat of his stare.

  “Night Slick.”

  “Night Killer. Sweet dreams.”

  He shut my door, and I listened to his footsteps as they moved to his room. I turned on my back and stared at the ceiling wondering if he would come back. I reached for my iPod and put on my headphones.

  My mind went over every nuance of my encounter with Kill, when I felt my bed dip, making my eyes fly open.

  “You scared the shit out of me,” I hissed to him, hitting pause.

  The music stopped, plunging us into silence.

  “Sorry, I was trying to be quiet, so I didn’t wake anyone up. I whispered to you, but you didn’t answer. I thought you fell asleep without me.” He sounded upset, and when I rolled over to cuddle him, his body was rigid. I ran my hands up and down his arm and waited until his body relaxed under me.

  “I didn’t hear you,” I confessed in the darkness. “I had my ear buds in.”

  “I thought you were asleep, and it pissed me off because I couldn’t sleep without you. I was afraid I was more addicted to you.”

  “It’s the bed,” I said, storing this information in my file of confusing things Kill said, to review later.

  “What were you listening to that could drown out all sound?”

  I yawned before I answered him; his warmth was making me feel drowsy. “Slip Knot.”

  “Only you would listen to rock to relax enough to fall asleep.”

  “The louder, the better. With all that going on, my brain can't keep me awake. It inevitably has to surrender to the music,” I said, falling deeper into him as my limbs became heavier.

  “What's keeping you up at night?” Kill asked, his mouth was touching my hair, and I felt pieces shifting as he spoke.

  “You,” I responded, as another yawn attacked me.

  “I don’t want to cause you sleepless nights. Well, unless I'm not in bed with you. I don’t mean to complicate this. I promise to be a better friend and to stop trying to get my hands down your pants.”

  He tried to make a joke, but when he mentioned his hand and my pants, heat shot through me.

  I wanted to tell him the problem was I couldn’t stop thinking about how I wanted his hand, and other appendages on his body, in my pants. But sleep had its grasp on me and didn't let go until I relented.

  Chapter 22

  There was no sign of Kill when I woke up, but there was a blueberry muffin and a bottle of orange juice on the nightstand. I was so screwed. After swallowing my morning Tums, I tore into the muffin with a smile.

  I finished what I coul
d before getting ready. With my trash in hand, I tried to curb the spring in my step as I went downstairs. Kill was in his normal spot on the couch and smiled when he saw me. When I came back from throwing my trash away his smile was still in place.

  “Morning, Slick,” he said, taking a sip of his protein shake, his eyes trained on me.

  “Morning, Killer,” I responded, feeling like a giddy teenager in front of her crush.

  “Are you going to eat breakfast?” he asked taking another sip, so he could hide the grin on his face.

  “I already have. The breakfast fairy visited my room this morning.”

  “Are you sure it was a fairy? Because I'm pretty sure breakfast is delivered by an extremely handsome, godlike creature.”

  “So Jet brought me breakfast?” I asked, pretending to be confused.

  Kill laughed and got up to put his glass away. “Brat,” he said, coming over and putting out his hand for me to take. When we reached the door D came downstairs, and I quickly slipped my hand out of Kill’s.

  “Where are you guys going?” he asked, looking at our workout clothes.

  “For a run,” Kill said, throwing an arm over my shoulder. “I have to keep her ass motivated, or she would never leave the house.” I nudged him in the side.

  “You don’t have to always put her down.”

  Kill’s arm flexed around me. “I was just messing with her. She knows I'm just playing.”

  “If you want a running partner that doesn’t insult you, let me know. I ran track in high school,” D explained. He went toward the kitchen, and Kill watched his retreat.

  “Ready?” I asked, bringing his attention away from D.

  “Yep, let’s get going.”

  At the end of our run when the house came into view, my heart dropped, not wanting our time to end.

  “You're getting fast.”

  “I would be a lot faster if I had a better running partner; the one I have now is lazy.”

  He laughed and tried to put his arm around me, but I dodged it.

  “Eww, you're all sweaty,” I cried, as I maneuvered away from his next attempt.

  “Come on, Slick, you're hurting my feelings.” He pushed his bottom lip out, and I stopped myself from latching onto it with my teeth and sucking it into my mouth.

  “You don’t have feelings,” I said, my voice shaky from the visual I just had.

  “I do, and you hurt them all the time.” He put on the puppy dog face. I giggled and threw my arms around his waist.

  “I’m sorry, Killer. Are you going to live after the torment I've caused you?”

  “I hope so. I never would have agreed to let you in my house if I'd known you were a bully.”

  “You’ll survive. I haven’t lost a victim yet,” I said, unhooking my arms and pinching his cheeks. “Poor wittle Kill, getting picked on by a mean girl.”

  He pulled my hands off of his cheeks and dragged me into the house. There wasn’t anyone around, and I was sure Kill wouldn't have stopped if there was. He acted like a man on a mission as he pulled me into my room.

  “What has gotten into you?” I asked as he closed the door behind us.

  When he let go of my arm, it dropped lifelessly to my side. My heart beat wildly, the sporadic pulsing pooled blood to my lower region. I stepped back, wanting to put distance between us as my body screamed at me to go forward.

  Kill moved toward me; his stride was bigger than mine, swallowing up the distance. I took another step back and continued until the back of my legs hit the bed, and his eyes lit with amusement.

  He slowly stalked me, watching every move I made, calculating the amount of pressure I could stand without freaking out. He didn’t stop until we were toe to toe. Desire surged through me, and my vagina was in her cheerleader uniform pom-poms ready.

  Kill's pupils had expanded, pushing the color into a sliver along the edge. I forgot to breathe. I dropped to the bed, my legs no longer accepting orders to hold me up. His nostrils flared, and the predatory glint in his eyes made my inner thighs clench with need. He leaned over, and I fell back on the bed. His eyes exuded pure lust, causing my body to tighten with want.

  All the feeling in my body was centered on the pressure between my thighs. He climbed onto the bed, hovering over me, his legs on either side of me effectively trapping me with his body.

  “Are you ok, Slick?” His voice was ragged, and my nipples puckered from the sound.

  I nodded my head, my mouth too dry to speak. My body diverted all the fluids to the boiling heat between my legs. He moved his legs, so his knees were holding my arms down and he was perched on my stomach. I looked down at my arms, and when I turned back to him his face had changed from lust to mischief, putting me on full alert.

  “You know what I do to bullies?”

  I shook my head, not wanting to find out. One corner of his lip lifted as he raised his hands into the air above his head, stretching his fingers out. He let them fall slowly toward me, his fingers wiggling as if they were spider legs descending on its prey.

  I squirmed under him, trying to buck him off me as my eyes stay trained on his hands. He didn’t budge at my attempt.

  “No, Kill, please don’t,” I begged, my voice small, and I pushed into the bed when his fingers were inches from my neck. I tried to press my chin into my sternum to hide any open skin, and he let out an evil laugh.

  “Sorry, it’s the punishment for being mean.”

  “I won’t do it again, I promise.” I squirmed around the small amount of wiggle room I had.

  He stopped his hands and cocked his head to the side as if he was considering my promise. “Really, you can refrain from hurting my fragile ego?”

  I opened my mouth to respond, giving him access to my neck, and he pounced. He tickled me as I tried in vain to escape.

  I screamed and laughed, begging him to release me when D came bursting in with panic in his eyes. D’s entrance distracted Kill, and I took advantage of his negligence. I thrust up with my hips, dislodging him to the side so I could scramble away. My actions were disoriented and clumsy because I was laughing so hard.

  “What the hell's going on? I was on the phone when I thought Faith was being murdered.”

  Kill laid face up on my bed giving me a wink before turning his head to D. “She was being mean. I was attempting to tickle the meanness out of her. From the looks of it, I tickled her back into her awkward teenage years.”

  I kicked out, jabbing his side with my toes, and he jerked around, looking at me with a shocked expression. “Oh my God,” I squealed, pouncing on him and tickling his sides as he jumped off the bed, making a cross with his fingers while backing away.

  Giving him an evil grin, I extended my finger moving it in a come here motion, but he shook his head still backing away.

  “What? Are you scared of me?” I said, batting my eyelashes for the full innocent affect.

  “This isn’t over,” Kill said, putting D in front of him as a shield, making me laugh even harder.

  “Bring it on, Killer,” I taunted, looking at him with a smirk on my face, knowing I was playing with fire.

  Kill winked at me, and I left the smirk on my face, not wanting to go any further with whatever game we were playing in front of D.

  “Kill, leave Faith alone,” D said as he pushed Kill out of my room.

  “You good, Faith?” he asked, and I nodded, my eyes focused on Kill, making faces at me like a five year old.

  D looked me over again before closing the door behind him.

  I sat on my bed smiling like fool. My phone beeped, showing me I had a missed call from a private number and a text message from Robert.

  I debated deleting the message. The way I left him at the restaurant was awful, and I knew his message was going to be dreadful. Convincing myself this was my punishment, I forced myself to open it.

  I am so glad I didnt go

  hme with u last nite, UR

  a whore that has the whole

  band in her. I
went hme

  with the waitress she was

  hotter then u and a

  better FUCK

  I reread the message two more times, cringing at the grammatical errors, thanking my lucky stars Kill came when he did.

  Jessie’s name flashed on the screen right before I sat my phone down. “Hey, sexy, what are you wearing?”

  “Let’s see. A pair of shorts and a tank top, because it's actually hot today,” she replied.

  “Oh, that’s sexy. What's up?”

  “Get ready I'm coming to pick you up. You owe me confessions.”

  “What are you going to buy me for this top secret information?” I asked, getting a blue and white striped summer dress out.

  “Coffee.”

  “Done, give me twenty.”

  “That’s all it takes? You didn’t even barter for a scone.”

  “Yeah, about your friend Faith. I hate to tell you this, but she's kind of a whore,” I said, causing her to sputter with laughter.

  “I know, but I love her anyway.”

  “Ahh, I love you too, Jess. Now I have to go. I have to get ready for a hot date.”

  “See you in twenty,” she responded.

  I dashed to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Pulling on a dress and blue heels with little red anchors on them, I was ready to go. Jessie was on the couch with Van when I got downstairs.

  “Ready?” I asked after standing in the living room, shifting awkwardly when they didn’t notice me right away.

  Jessie jumped up and ran over, giving me a hug. “You aren’t in jeans and a band t-shirt. I'm so proud of you.”

  I pushed her off of me. “Shut up. I own dresses,” I defended my beloved band t-shirts.

  “I know but you never dressed cute unless you were allowed.”

  “She looks cute in her band t-shirts,” Kill said from behind me, making me jump.

  “You need a bell around your neck. You scared the shit out of me,” I said with my hand at my neck, my pulse beating madly underneath it.

  “A bell? Really?”

  “Yes, a bell: that way you can’t sneak up on people.”

  “I swear, I never know what to expect to come out of your mouth. Why are you all dressed up?” he asked, changing the subject as he eyed me up and down, causing a small fire to burn between my legs from the way his eyes traveled appreciatively over me.