Idolize (Dark Storm Book 1)

by Maggie Mundy

  “I’m already touching my clit and my fingers are stretching me like you would. Moving slowly and then faster until all of you is in me. I’m not far away, Dec.”

  “I’m with you. My hand is tight around my cock as if it was in your pussy. You make me so fucking hard.”

  “Move faster, Dec. I’m close.” She could feel the throbbing increasing and didn’t think she could hold out much longer now she could hear his voice. He was panting and she could picture exactly what he was doing and it was turning her on like hell.

  “I’m with you, Cassi. Come for me. I want to hear the sound you make that makes me want to fuck you so hard. Just think of me lying on top of you thrusting and pumping into you until you scream.”

  That was it. Her body trembled as wave after wave of tremors stretched out through her body. Cassi bit her bottom lip so she didn’t make too much noise. The same could not be said for the sounds coming from her phone. He was coming with her and the sound made her smile as his groans went on and on. She lay there listening to him breathing heavily with her body pulsing around her fingers. She accepted at that moment it would never be enough. She hoped she wouldn’t regret what she was about to say next.

  “I want to see you. I don’t know when. I don’t know where, and I sure as hell don’t know how, but it has to happen.”

  His reply was one word. She reckoned it was all he could manage. It was enough.

  “Ditto.”

  “This is not going to be easy. It has to be my way.”

  He was quiet.

  “Whatever you want. You have me in the palm of your hand, figuratively speaking. By the way I love it when you call me Dec when you’re coming. No one ever calls me that.”

  “It just seemed right.”

  They talked for another hour and Cassi knew she was falling for him. This was not a good idea, but she didn’t want to give it up. Not yet. She would meet him and get him out of her system with great sex. Then she could move on, or rather back to what her life was like before.

  ****

  The morning didn’t bring clarity, and she still wanted to see him again. It was a good thing she was busy. Cassi would put her energy into other people, otherwise she would phone him now. She also considered she was crazy, getting up early on a day off to come and visit Audrey at work. Especially when she was tired from spending most of the night talking to a very sexy man.

  Tommy was having a ball. There was paper and paint, and Audrey showed him how to mix colors. His current page was a rainbow. Audrey came over and sat next to her as Tommy continued to create a great masterpiece.

  “Thank you so much. I haven’t painted in years. I’ve some of my earlier work away in storage, but I never felt there was any point after my husband died. It did sell quite well when I was younger. After I married and we had lots of money, there didn’t seem to be much need. If you don’t mind, I really would appreciate it if he could come again.”

  “I think he’d like that a lot. You know, if you want to go somewhere for a trip to paint something else, we could. My car’s old, but reliable.”

  Audrey couldn’t keep the smile off her face. “That’s very sweet of you. I used to go on some of the outings with the others from here, but I never fit in. It’s as if they’re still single and looking for new partners. I’d rather be on my own than with one of them. I wouldn’t want one of those grumpy old men telling me what to do anyway.”

  She was right. A lot of the older guys were always whining about something, and some of the ladies were still getting their Botox. Who was she to judge? She might be the same when she was older. She certainly intended to keep dyeing her hair brown when it went gray.

  “I even hired a Cadillac once to take me places, but it’s not so much fun on your own.” Audrey sighed as she glanced back across at Tommy who had paint on his face and looked like a warrior.

  “We’re going to the zoo in a couple of weeks to celebrate Tommy’s fourth birthday. Would you like to come? If you need extra bribing, Sasha is making a picnic for us and you know it will be good.”

  Cassi could see Audrey look across at Tommy and then back. There were tears in her eyes. It was a simple thing to offer and yet she could tell it meant so much.

  “I’d love to, but you must let me buy him something little.”

  “You don’t need to, but if you insist, he loves turtles.”

  They cleaned up and waved goodbye to Audrey. That night, Cassi received a phone call at ten. She was having fun planning how she and Declan would meet. They could wear wigs. She always wanted to be a redhead and now would get her chance. It was crazy, but they were actually going to see each other again.

  Cassi couldn’t keep the excitement out of her voice as she suggested everything. There was silence and all the uncertainty of what she was doing came back. He must have changed his mind.

  “Look, I’m sorry, Cassi, but I won’t be able to. We’re filming interstate for two weeks. I hate this job when I can’t just do what I want. Sometimes I just want to be normal like everyone else so much.”

  “It’s okay. You’ve a great life and it’s given you lots. So many people would give anything to have what you have, and I assume they pay you well for the inconvenience. Maybe this is the universe telling us to cool down a bit. I wasn’t really sure it was a good idea we meet again. I think it was our hormones talking the other night. I’m busy at work with lots of stuff. If you still want to meet when you get back, text me.”

  “You mean you don’t want me to contact you for the two weeks I’m away?”

  “I think it would be for the best. This was already starting to get a bit out of hand. We were just two people who randomly met and had some fun. Maybe we should keep it at that.”

  “Damn, I’ve another call coming through. It’s probably the producer with details. I can call back afterward.”

  “No, don’t. I’ve an early start tomorrow. Let’s give it a miss. Best of luck with filming.” She ended the call as her eyes watered, but she wasn’t going to cry. She was disappointed, but also knew it was for the best. If they met, this addiction for him would grow even stronger. If it finished now, she was still in control. Five minutes later, her cell phone went with a message.

  I will call when I get back. Get that red wig ready.

  It was a nice idea. He said he would call, but she wasn’t going to bank on it. He would be busy and working around beautiful actresses with petite little figures and perfect smiles. Not plain brunettes with big boobs. The memory of her would dim. When it came down to it, his working in another state was right for them. It wasn’t as if they were lovers with an emotional connection. They were just delaying the physical hit they would get from each other, if he called. Damn it, but she wanted that physical hit. She wanted to see him and touch him and rip his clothes off.

  She considered watching Dark Storm, but reckoned it would make it worse if he didn’t phone. Plus the thought of hearing him again with an American accent would be really strange.

  She could spend the next few weeks concentrating on Tommy and Audrey. Her little boy was finally getting the nanny figure he should have. Only this one wouldn’t tell him he was the spawn of the devil born outside of wedlock.

  ****

  Two weeks went by and there were no calls or texts. But what did she expect? She was the one laying down the rules and saying no contact.

  It was Saturday and she was at the retirement village to pick Audrey up for their trip to the zoo. She noticed Audrey brought a walking stick with her. Cassi worried that the trip might be too much, and suggested they could hire a wheelchair at the zoo. The stern look Audrey gave her as she raised an eyebrow was icy to say the least.

  “If you have to put me in a wheelchair, then I won’t be leaving the village. I know that’s unfair because there are younger people in them, but I just feel it would be the beginning of the end for me.”

  Cassi smiled at the woman’s spirit. “That’s okay, but you have to say if you’re tired. We
can do it in stages. Tommy forgets not everyone wants to run at breakneck speed all the time,” Cassi said.

  “I’ve brought my sketch book with me so I can stop while you take Tommy off to see something else. I’m really looking forward to seeing the gorilla. What about you Tommy?”

  “Turtles. I want to see lots of them, and the rhionocerufus.”

  “Just say rhino, pipsqueak.” Sasha said, ruffling his hair.

  They slowly made their way around some of the exhibits and Cassi thought they should have done this before. Since she was always so afraid to go out, Tommy didn’t get many excursions. She had always loved going to the zoo as a kid, and from the smile on her son’s face, he must have felt the same. They sat down on the lawn for lunch as the sun shone, warming them, and Cassi let out a long breath, feeling mellow. She found a chair for Audrey, as she didn’t think she would get up again if she sat on the ground. Cassi’s cell pinged with a message and she glanced at it.

  It was Declan. It simply said, I’m back. She couldn’t keep the grin off her face. Sasha looked at her as if waiting to be told who it was, but Cassi simply shoved her cell phone back in her bag.

  Sasha shook her head at her, but then opened the basket and started to set out homemade lemonade, a plate of delicious savories, and beautiful cupcakes. Cassi closed her eyes as she let the flavors of the little tartlets melt across her tongue.

  “This is so good. You excelled yourself today, Sasha.”

  Her friend bristled with pride. Then Sasha turned to Audrey to see her reaction.

  “They’re excellent. Then again, I knew they would be from your cooking at the village. Your cooking is exceptional and not appreciated by the residents. They just want the same thing day in, day out. A lot of elderly people become obsessed with their bowels. It’s most fatiguing to listen to, especially if you are trying to eat.”

  Cassi cracked up listening to Audrey.

  “Can I have a cupcake?” Tommy said.

  “Please. I reckon first we’ll sing you 'Happy Birthday',” Cassi said as she wagged a finger at him.

  “Please,” Tommy said as he gave Sasha puppy dog eyes that would get him what he wanted every time.

  They all sang to him and he blew out a candle on a cupcake. Sasha nodded. Tommy took a cake and started to demolish the treat. Cassi wasn’t sure how much went in his mouth, considering the blue icing was all over his face by the time he was finished.

  Audrey picked up one of the offered cupcakes. “I think you could sell this array of food you have provided as a gourmet picnic. People love it these days if someone else does the work, but it makes them look good. Of course you would need to put bran in them for the oldies at the village.”

  Audrey laughed, then closed her eyes and took a bite.

  “It sounds like a wonderful idea, but it would need money and we just make enough to cover the rent and food as it is,” Sasha replied, as she started to pack away.

  Cassi’s cell phone went again, but she decided not to check it.

  As they stood up Sasha whispered, “Who keeps texting you?”

  “No one. It’s just some company asking me to update apps or something. I’ll sort it out when we get home.”

  What would she do now the moment was here? She really didn’t think he would still want to meet her after the two weeks passed. Could he possibly be as keen as she was?

  They continued around the zoo with Tommy enjoying everything, including the ice cream. She was one of those odd people who didn’t like ice cream. Now chocolate, that was something she could never give up. It had been a wonderful day, and Audrey gave them all a hug when they dropped her off at the village. She also gave Tommy a big turtle toy she’d bought at the zoo shop. He promised to draw a picture of it for her. Again, Audrey reminded her of the real grandmother he didn’t know.

  Back home, Cassi got Tommy in the bath, but knew he would be in bed early tonight. He was exhausted but would not stop talking about gorillas, rhinos, and turtles. Once he was in his pajamas, she read him two books as he cuddled his new turtle toy. He was asleep before she got to the end of the second story.

  When she walked back out to the living room, Sasha poured her a glass of wine. From the look of her friend’s pursed lips, Cassi sensed an interrogation was looming. She also saw her cell was on the counter and hoped it hadn’t gone off again while she was settling Tommy down. She hadn’t sent Declan a message back, mainly because she wasn’t sure what to say. Answering meant taking the next step and she was scared. She picked up her wine and phone and then settled on the couch. Sasha flopped down beside her.

  “Okay. Spill the beans.”

  “What do you mean?” Cassi bit her bottom lip, not wanting to say anything.

  “It’s me, Sasha, you’re talking to. You’ve been getting texts today, and keeping secrets from me as to who they’re from.”

  “I told you it was a telephone app thing.”

  “Yeah, and my name is Dumbo. I accept things have been quiet the last two weeks, but before that you were preoccupied. Sometimes I’d have to say things three times before you heard me. Plus, I could swear if I didn’t know you were alone in your room, I’d have thought you were talking half the night to somebody, or having sex.”

  Cassi choked on her wine she was sipping on and spat it back out. Sasha sat back.

  “Oh my God. I’m right. You’ve been sexting someone, or you’ve been having phone sex. I know we need more money, but you haven’t signed up to be one of the women on the other end of the line have you?” Sasha shook her head.

  “I can assure you I am not working on a phone-sex line. Though if the money really is that good, I could be tempted.”

  “That only answers one of my questions. So are you having phone sex with someone?”

  Cassi’s skin heated up from her chest to the top of her head. To be honest, it would be good to get it off her chest. She just needed to work out what to say.

  “Okay, I met someone when I went hiking. We were texting each other and maybe we did talk one night.”

  “I knew it. When do I get to meet him?” Sasha grinned. “It’s about time you got back in the game.”

  “I don’t want to bring any men into Tommy’s life who might just come and go, so I want to keep it separate.”

  “So why the silence from him the last two weeks?”

  “He was away and I thought it would fizzle out. We met each other once and I thought he would have moved on.”

  “Did your hiking trip involve sex?” Sasha said, as she raised an eyebrow.

  Cassi had told her this much, so she might as well go the whole hog. “Ah, maybe, yes.” Now she was squirming in her seat.

  “You told me you hadn’t had any since you left Steve. So you go from abstinence to a night of sex with a stranger. You used a condom, I hope. If not, I’ll think my nagging has taught you nothing.”

  “I did.” The phone pinged again. One way or another, she would have to answer him. Sasha was watching her as she stared at the message.

  If you don’t say something soon I’m going to call the FBI to find you.

  She handed the phone over. Sasha read the message and laughed. “I’d say this guy is keen. Is he hot?”

  “Very, and he seems decent and not some weirdo, which is good for L.A.”

  “Call now and arrange to meet him tomorrow. We don’t need to be in work ’til noon Monday, and I can look after pipsqueak.”

  Sasha was getting excited, but Cassi was getting more nervous. Her stomach did a flip.

  “Look, meet him again, and then decide if you want it to be more. If it doesn’t work out, you get more great sex. I assume it was great sex.” Sasha raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer.

  “It was really great sex.” Cassi went red again.

  “Get on the phone, sister.”

  Cassi dialed the number and couldn’t stop her hands shaking as it rang. He picked up before it rang twice.

  “Cassi. I was starting to think you had disapp
eared or maybe I’d imagined you.”

  Hearing his voice again made her heart skip a beat. “I’m sorry, it was a busy day today with people around me all the time.”

  She stuck her tongue out at Sasha, who did the same in reply.

  “I’m going to cut to the chase. I still want to meet if you do. If you say back off now and go away, then I will. The ball’s in your court.”

  This was the moment. He was giving her a way out. She’d already decided she could manage this somehow. If it started to get difficult for Tommy, she would finish it.

  “I want to see you. I can come tomorrow and stay overnight, but I don’t want anyone to know about us.”

  “I’ll text you the address of a place we can be alone. I’ll be there from midday tomorrow and wait for you.”

  “I’ll be there. I’ve got to go now.”

  Her hands shook as she stared at the phone and what she had decided to do. Sasha came and refilled her glass.

  “Don’t you spill that wine. You’re shaking like a leaf. You’re really scared, aren’t you?”

  Cassi took a big gulp of wine.

  “When I left Steve, I swore off men for life with good reason. I’d stayed with him no matter what, thinking I had nowhere to go. The last night, he was so high he was going after Tommy. I ran and came to the only person I know who wouldn’t judge me.”

  “You’ve done a great job with the kid and you did the right thing. So what’s freaking you out?”

  “I like this guy. We’ve only met once, but talked a lot on the phone, amongst other things, and I could like him. I’m afraid what my being involved with him could mean to Tommy.” She took another gulp of wine and then put the glass down.

  “You’re worrying about things that might not happen. Just go and meet him and then work out how you feel.”

  She hugged Sasha, but was still not convinced this would work out well. From past experience, she knew her life never did.

  ****

  She planned to spend the morning working out what she would wear. The problem was that four-year-olds who realize Mom is going somewhere without them, don’t see it as fun. Tommy was usually good, but today he decided was tantrum day. Maybe it was a sugar hangover from the day before. She was not surprised romance was not likely to be a feature of her life. Maybe it was the universe telling her she should call the whole thing off.