The East End Girl in Blue

by Fenella J Miller

  They hadn’t got as far as discussing time off but he was going anyway. A junior houseman ambled past and he grabbed his arm. ‘Let the theatre sister know I’m going to be out for a few days. Family emergency. Ask her to tell Mr Billings.’

  ‘Yes, Mr Denny, I’ll do it immediately.’

  David still thought it odd that he was no longer called Dr Denny but the convention was that surgeons were always Mr Something, not Dr Something. His brain was fixing on trivial things in order to avoid thinking about the reality. Was it possible that, for the second time, he could lose the woman he loved because of a pregnancy?

  23

  Nancy shook her head. ‘I’ve still got three weeks to go and I’m not having the baby cut out of me on your say-so, Doctor Jones. The midwife isn’t worried and she knows a lot more about babies than you do.’

  He wasn’t used to his patients arguing with him and he looked as if he was sucking a lemon. ‘My dear girl, Nurse Reynolds is not a doctor. I have years of experience and I insist that…’

  ‘You can’t tell me what to do. It’s my baby, my body, my decision.’ This was the last straw as the wretched man had been pressurising her for the past week to consent to this operation and go immediately into hospital.

  ‘I think it would be better for both of us if you moved out. I expect you to be gone by the end of the day. I’m sure you’ll find suitable lodging somewhere in the village. I’ll lock the communicating door and there will be no to-ing and fro-ing into my house in future.’

  His mouth dropped open and for a moment he was unable to respond. Then he glared at her. ‘You are in no position to tell me to leave. Doctor Denny…’

  ‘I’ll stop you right there. I own this house and have done for the past few weeks. I’ll remind you that I also own the premises where you practise so I suggest you show me more respect if you want to continue working there.’ This was a silly thing to say, as if she turfed him out of the surgery as well, not only would the villagers suffer, but it would also inconvenience David.

  ‘Then I wash my hands of you, Mrs Smith. If you and the baby die it will be entirely your fault. I can assure you that I’ll be gone by this evening.’

  He marched off, rigid with anger, and she regretted her outburst. Until he’d started trying to boss her about over her delivery, she’d quite liked him. Nurse Reynolds had said the baby hadn’t dropped and the head wasn’t engaged so she wasn’t likely to have the baby in the next week or so.

  Mary had overheard the exchange in the hall and came out. ‘Well done, Nancy, you’ve done the right thing. He’d have to leave when Fred and I did anyway as it wouldn’t be right to have him living under the same roof as you.’

  ‘Jill will be upset with me and I won’t be able to take them in their mid-morning tea any more.’

  ‘You shouldn’t be waiting on them. I’m sure they can both manage without a hot drink for the few hours that they’re there.’

  ‘I shouldn’t have told him about the house like that. It’ll be all over the village by teatime and people will wonder why the house now belongs to me.’

  ‘It’s none of their business. I don’t wish to interfere but why don’t you arrange to see a consultant at the hospital in Chelmsford? That way you’ll be sure that you’re making the right decision.’

  ‘The midwife says there’s room for the baby to turn itself and she’s given me some exercises to do, which should help with that.’

  ‘It’s a mystery to me why Doctor Jones is so adamant you can’t deliver normally. It might be because you’re only five foot tall. Sometimes small women do have problems.’

  ‘My ma is the same size as me and she had twins without any difficulty. She told me it’s something to do with foot size.’ She waved her own in the air. ‘See, I don’t have small feet so I reckon I’m just fine as long as the baby turns in time. Mind you, Nurse Reynolds said she’s delivered several breech babies and, granted it’s a bit trickier and needs two there at the birth, but she’s not lost one yet. I’m going with her experience.’

  ‘Your ankles aren’t at all swollen and I notice that you’ve put your rings back on. That’s a very good sign. I might not have had any children of my own but I’ve been around babies and expectant mothers for years.’

  Nancy made herself scarce that afternoon to allow Dr Jones to depart without an audience. Whilst she lay comfortably on her bed reading the News Chronicle she could hear him banging about at the other end of the house. He didn’t have to leave keys behind as he’d never been given any. The house was rarely locked and Jill had the key to the surgery.

  She waited until she heard the front door slam and then scrambled from the bed and went into his bedroom. She stripped the sheets, collected the towels and dumped them outside the door. It didn’t take long to remake the bed, give the room a good clean and polish, and then she stood back and admired her work.

  This was David’s room and all it wanted was for his clothes to come down from the attic and hang in his wardrobe and it would be as if he still lived there. The stairs were narrow but perfectly safe even for her. After three journeys all his spare garments were back where they should be. She found a box of bits and pieces, books and so on, that he’d stored upstairs and these were also brought down and restored to their original places.

  By the time she’d finished the children were on their way to bed. They heard her and rushed in to see what was going on.

  ‘Is Uncle David coming back?’ Billy was a clever little boy and had taken one look at the changes and drawn the right conclusion.

  ‘Not right now, sweetheart, but when he does get time off he’ll be able to have his own room and not have to sleep on the sofa.’ When Mary and Fred moved out she was going to explain to them that she was now their ma and that David was their pa.

  The house seemed happier without the doctor and she stretched out on the sofa listening to ITMA and drinking her nightly cocoa. The advertisement she’d seen in the paper today said that cocoa was rich in nerve food. She certainly needed plenty of that at the moment.

  ITMA stood for It’s That Man Again; it had been Jane who told her this and she hadn’t even listened to the radio when she was growing up.

  She’d received a letter from both her friends that morning and had saved them until now to read. She’d told them that she now owned the house and had sole charge of the children as well as loads of money to make sure they all had what they needed.

  They didn’t know that she’d had an affair with David or that they’d almost got married and she thought it better that they never did. Mind you, Charlotte had mentioned that she’d noticed there had been something between the two of them. Both her friends knew the true circumstances about Tommy but always addressed their letters to Mrs Smith. They didn’t think she was a slut, and thought no less of her because of the baby.

  She opened Charlotte’s first.

  Dear Nancy,

  You’ve not got long to go – you must be so excited. I’ve done extra shifts for a couple of friends and they’ll reciprocate. This means that I’ll be able to take the time off when the baby arrives and can come and visit.

  I’m not surprised that Dr Denny has made these arrangements. I really liked him when I met him and I thought that you and he might make a go of it somehow. How things have changed for all of us.

  We couldn’t have imagined how different our lives would be when we met at training two years ago. Jane has recovered from her abusive childhood and married her lovely Oscar. She’s now doing a hush-hush job like me and loving every minute of it. It must be very difficult for her having Oscar in the thick of it like this.

  You have metamorphosed from an East End girl with no prospects into a prosperous house owner and – even more amazing – a member of the church choir. The fact that you’re about to have a baby is spiffing.

  I’m booked to go somewhere for officers’ training in June and I gather I won’t be coming back here afterwards. I’m the only one of the three of us who ha
sn’t fallen in love. I’m quite happy on my own and don’t mind at all that I haven’t got a beau.

  Write again soon as your letters cheer me up with your funny anecdotes about the children and the others in the village.

  Love

  Nancy was about to open the letter from Jane when the unmistakable sound of a motorbike pulling up outside had her on her feet and moving towards the kitchen before the sound died away in the darkness. Over the past weeks she’d forgiven David for his part in the break-up and accepted that she’d always love him even though they could never be together.

  *

  David was halfway around the house when Polly erupted from the kitchen and landed on his chest. He was braced for such an eventuality but still lost his balance and ended up on his arse.

  ‘Sorry about that, David. I tried to grab her as I opened the door but she scooted through my legs.’

  Just hearing her voice made him happy. ‘I’ve no dignity left whatsoever. My last visit I ended up embedded in the hedge and this time sitting on my backside with a large dog in my lap.’ He tipped the animal off, and recovered his overnight and medical bag, which had flown from his hands, and stepped into the kitchen.

  It might have been odd coming back now he no longer owned the house but as far as he was concerned it was just bricks and mortar. Who lived in a house was what mattered.

  Whilst he was getting out of his gear in the boot room, he heard her locking the door behind them. Doors weren’t locked in the village so what had happened to change things here? She was busy filling the kettle with her back to him and this gave him time to look at her without making a complete ass of himself.

  ‘What are you doing here in the middle of the night, David?’

  ‘It’s nine thirty so I hardly think it qualifies as that. Why did you lock the door?’

  She gestured towards one of the chairs at the central, scrubbed wooden table. ‘I evicted Doctor Jones today and I don’t want him creeping back – not that I think he would, but I can’t be sure. He wasn’t too pleased about being given his marching orders.’

  ‘For God’s sake, Nancy, what did he do?’

  He sounded so fierce, so protective, her eyes filled. ‘Nothing like that. He was bullying me to have the baby by caesarean section but I refused. The midwife’s happy to deliver me as I am.’ She turned and her smile lit the room. ‘You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here.’

  ‘Mrs Stanton told me what was going on and I needed to see for myself how things were. I still blame myself for what happened to Julia.’

  She was about to say that her health and the health of her baby was none of his concern but they both knew that wasn’t true. They couldn’t get married but it didn’t stop them loving each other and caring what happened.

  ‘The baby’s feet down, not folded in half with his feet up by his head. She says she’s delivered dozens of babies in this sort of position and doesn’t anticipate any problems with mine. Doctor Jones just wouldn’t listen – thinks he knows better because he’s a doctor and she’s a nurse.’

  ‘I’m afraid that’s usually the way. I know I’m not your doctor but would you allow me to examine you?’

  ‘Of course I will as I trust your opinion and will do whatever you suggest. We can’t go into the surgery because I’ve locked it up from this side and don’t intend to go in there again.’

  ‘It would be more comfortable for you on a bed rather than the sofa.’

  ‘Then we’ll go upstairs. Your room’s ready so you don’t have to sleep down here.’

  He cleared his mind of personal feelings and followed her to her bedroom where not so very long ago they’d spent a passionate, wonderful, amazing night together. Doctors shouldn’t treat family members but he thought he was in the clear on this one as they weren’t actually related – although he sincerely wished they were.

  He examined her externally and was relieved he didn’t have to do an internal. ‘Your baby’s certainly feet down but he’s lying diagonally at the moment. Was he like this last time the midwife had a look?’

  ‘Is that good or bad? I’m certain the top of his head was under my bosom and his feet straight down.’

  ‘Then I think it’s possible he’s going to turn of his own volition.’ He grinned down at her. ‘Have you got to V in your dictionary yet?’

  Her laughter made his heart somersault. ‘Cheeky perisher. I’ve never heard the word but I can guess what it means – under his own steam?’

  He was still sitting beside her on the bed and knew if he didn’t move immediately she would be in his arms where she belonged. Her eyes widened. She’d seen desire in his expression. He surged to his feet, mumbling an apology but she reached up and caught his hand and pulled.

  He closed his fingers over hers. ‘This is just going to make it harder when I leave. Are you quite sure, my love?’

  ‘We can’t make love but I want you to hold me in your arms. I just wish I didn’t love you as much as I do.’

  He dropped down beside her and pulled her close. He inhaled her unique scent, lavender and something vaguely medicinal he couldn’t quite recognise. They lay entwined for half an hour. He didn’t kiss her – just holding her was enough for now.

  ‘I love you. Why are we prevaricating? It’s been over two months and what I feel has grown stronger, not lessened. Marry me, darling. I don’t care what anyone says.’

  Gently she pushed him away. Her eyes were brimming. She shook her head when he tried to comfort her. ‘Love isn’t always enough. I wouldn’t fit into your world and we both know that. I won’t marry you and ruin your life.’

  ‘I want to be involved with the children. Would you consider allowing me to visit you all? Consider me in the same way that you would if we were divorced?’

  ‘I think it might be harder seeing you and not being able to be with you.’ She brushed her eyes and then said something that shook him to the core. ‘We could sleep together sometimes; it would make being apart a bit easier for both of us.’

  He was going to refuse categorically to accept her offer but something stopped him. Eventually she would be pregnant with his child and then he could insist that they married and she wouldn’t be able to refuse. Not ideal – not what he wanted – but it was better than the misery they had both been enduring these past few weeks.

  ‘It’s not what either of us want but better than the alternative. I’ll come down as often as I can and this means I can be more involved in Billy and Betty’s lives. Billings, head of surgery and the most important man at the Royal Free, thinks you’re having my baby and is disgusted with me for not having married you.’

  ‘Didn’t you tell him the truth?’ She was now on her feet and even heavily pregnant, as far as he was concerned, was the most beautiful woman in the world.

  ‘I think it better that he thinks me an unprincipled bastard than that I’d fallen in love with a recently widowed young woman who’s expecting her husband’s child.’

  ‘It does sound daft doesn’t it? I expect you’re hungry. I baked this morning so I’ll make you a sarnie with a lovely bit of roast pork and apple sauce in it.’

  He dumped his overnight bag in his bedroom but carried the medical bag downstairs. This was fortunate as both Mary and Fred chose exactly that moment to emerge from their private sitting room.

  ‘Doctor Denny, from your expression things aren’t as grim as Doctor Jones insisted,’ Mary said.

  ‘They certainly aren’t. Mother and baby are doing well and I don’t anticipate any problems with the delivery.’

  They didn’t pass on the stairs, not because there wasn’t room but because superstition said it was bad luck to do so. The older couple said good night and left them on their own.

  She insisted that he sit in the sitting room and listen to the wireless while she rushed about in the kitchen preparing his food. He was tired. He’d done another sixteen-hour shift and it must be thirty-six hours since he’d slept.

  ‘Here you are;
don’t go to sleep until you’ve eaten.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I’m too hungry. I’m going up immediately afterwards if you don’t mind.’

  ‘Good thing the bed’s ready for you.’ She smoothed her voluminous frock over her belly. ‘You were right. I’m a lot bigger than I was. I can’t see my toes now.’

  ‘I was thinking that you look better than you did last time despite all the worry and the work.’

  ‘I’ve been ever so miserable but then you gave me this house plus all the money to live on. Not having to worry about paying the bills for the rest of my life made things a little better.’ She rubbed her stomach lovingly. ‘This little chap’s very lucky. He’ll have the best education that money can buy, has an older brother and sister to play with and he’ll lack for nothing.’

  He finished the last mouthful, drained his mug and somehow managed to push himself to his feet. ‘We’re both referring to your bump as a boy. Is that what you think it’s going to be?’

  ‘I’m convinced that it is. I’m going to call him David Thomas after the two nicest men I know.’

  ‘You do realise he’ll have to have your name – he’ll be David Thomas Evans. Don’t you think that might cause problems for him when he goes to school?’

  ‘It’ll be on his birth certificate but nobody else will see that. I’ll explain it to him when he’s old enough to understand.’

  He wasn’t going to press the point. He was hoping to persuade her to put his name on the birth certificate, which would mean when eventually they did get married he could legitimise the child. After all, people who didn’t know the whole story would just assume the baby was his anyway.

  24

  Nancy pottered about downstairs after David had gone up, pretending to be a real housewife with her man and children asleep upstairs where they should be. The baby heaved and wriggled and she laughed. ‘There you go, Davie, you’re as happy as I am, aren’t you?’

  His full name would be David but they couldn’t have two in the family so he’d be called Davie to save confusion. She let the dog out for a last run round whilst she filled up the range and the boiler that provided the hot water and kept the radiators warm in the winter.