The East End Girl in Blue

by Fenella J Miller

  ‘Doctor Denny, I assume that the proceeds from the sale of the house transfer directly into err… Mrs Smith’s account.’

  The solicitor knew that Nancy was in fact Miss Evans but had the good sense to always refer to her by her courtesy title.

  ‘Obviously, as the house belongs to her. If I find anything suitable today then I’ll set things in motion and you can complete both sales and purchase simultaneously.’

  If his personal affairs raised a few eyebrows it was none of their business and he didn’t care anyway. The roads being empty made the journey to St Albans relatively stress-free. He was lucky and found the perfect house immediately.

  The owner had recently died and left the property to the Catholic Church who were eager to get a sale as soon as possible. The house was a little old-fashioned in decor but had all the necessary requirements as it had been recently modernised. The garden was large but not unmanageable, with a substantial vegetable plot and room for half a dozen chickens.

  He made an offer to the solicitor and it was accepted immediately. As Nancy and the children were going to be living there, he supposed he really should have spoken to her first. Fortunately, the sellers had provided some decent snaps and he was able to take those with him.

  Was he mad to be setting up house with her, plus three children that weren’t his own? He doubted he would be doing so if Billings hadn’t terminated his employment. Less than nine months ago he’d been a country doctor, his life had been calm and ordered, and then Nancy had burst into his well-ordered existence and turned everything upside down.

  Sometimes he wished things were as they used to be, dull and predictable definitely, but easier than being in the constant turmoil that his life now was. Being headlong in love didn’t suit him at all. Love was like an infectious disease, once it took hold there was very little you could do to stop it.

  The children were waiting for him when he got back and he spent a happy hour playing with them before they were taken up to bed. He’d not had time to talk to Nancy but she seemed subdued, nervous almost, as if she too had been reconsidering her options.

  Eventually the children were gone, Mary and Fred had retreated to their own space, thus giving him the opportunity to tell Nancy what had happened during the day. Before he had the opportunity to show her the photos she got something out of her pocket.

  Her smile was somewhat brittle as she handed him a letter. Surely she hadn’t written her response to his marriage proposal?

  ‘What’s this?’ He flipped it over and saw it was addressed to her. Why did she think a letter from a friend of hers would be of interest to him?

  ‘This came whilst you were out. I think you’d better read it, as it’s made me think about things.’

  Dear Nancy,

  I’m glad that you’re financially secure and in a position to look after yourself and your new baby. I can’t get away at the moment as I’m too busy, but I can have a week’s leave on rotation as soon as things calm down there.

  I intend to come and see you when that happens. Oscar remains safe but I’ve not seen him for several weeks and doubt that I will at the moment.

  From reading between the lines I’ve decided that you and Dr Denny are involved. I’m not surprised you’ve fallen for him but what does surprise me is that he’s interested in someone who is having another man’s baby. I doubt that any other man in his position would be prepared to do that.

  Do be careful what you decide, Nancy. If you married him you would be bound to have his children and then your baby could well feel pushed out, not part of the family at all.

  I don’t know Dr Denny well enough to hazard a guess as to how he would react in those circumstances. I do know what happened to me at my father’s hands because I survived and my brother didn’t.

  Have to go now as I’m on duty in ten minutes. I look forward to hearing from you as soon as your baby arrives.

  Much love

  He carefully folded the letter and pushed it back into the envelope. He could think of only one reason why she wanted him to read it, and that was because she thought there was actually a danger he would favour his natural children over the baby she was carrying.

  She didn’t know him at all if that’s what she believed and he was saddened by her opinion. ‘Did you tell Jane that I’ve more or less adopted Billy and Betty?’

  ‘No, I don’t tell either of my friends things that aren’t directly to do with me. When I’m settled wherever I’m going in the summer, that will be the time to explain the ins and outs of everything.’

  ‘I’m going to take Polly for a walk; it’s been months since I did that. I need to think.’

  ‘You can’t go out now. We’ve got things to talk about. I want to know what happened with the solicitor and so on.’

  ‘I’ll talk to you when I get back.’

  ‘I’m really sorry you lost your job because of me. I’ve been nothing but trouble to you since we met and I don’t deserve to have you in my life. You’d be better off staying well away from me and finding yourself a nice young lady like your first wife.’

  He raised his hands in surrender. ‘All right, I finally believe that you genuinely think you’re not good enough. I’m not going to argue. Much as I love you and the children, you’re just making it too difficult for both of us.’

  The dog enjoyed the long walk. It was dark under the canopy of leaves, as the sun had set. He could smell the bluebells but couldn’t see them. The blackbirds were singing their night-time serenade. None of this registered.

  He came to the unpleasant conclusion that if Nancy considered he was the sort of man who might brutalise a child then it would be best to do as she suggested and make this the final time they met. She would have the money from the house and be able to move wherever she wanted, make the fresh start she kept talking about.

  Having his life in constant uproar wasn’t something he enjoyed. Nancy had blown hot and cold these past few months. She’d agreed to marry him, changed her mind about that, thought maybe she would be his mistress and live with him, and had now changed her mind about that as well.

  She was right to say that being with her didn’t make his life easy. He would also make a fresh start. He would enlist, join the medics who set up camp hospitals and treated soldiers as they were injured in battle. Billings might well be wrong about the other hospitals not wanting to employ him but he wasn’t prepared to find out.

  Nancy was an independent young woman; she’d forge a life for herself and the children without any help from him. This bloody war was going to go on for several years. This meant that by the time he returned to Blighty they’d both have moved on and it would be safe to start involving himself in the lives of his wards without rekindling his relationship with her.

  He’d have tomorrow morning with Billy and Betty, but he wouldn’t stay a third night. Neither would he tell her of his decision to become an army medic.

  *

  Nancy slumped onto a chair knowing that giving him the letter as if she actually believed Jane’s nonsense had done the trick. He’d gone off with a face like a wet flannel and when he got back he was going to tell her it was over.

  How was it possible that you could love someone as much as she loved David and he loved her and still all they did was make each other miserable?

  He was gone for ages and she was desperate to get it over with. She hadn’t told him about the conversation with that stuck-up Mr Billings of his. That was the first thing she’d do when he eventually returned from his walk.

  The door banged and she braced herself. He looked as defeated as she felt. She smiled sadly and he joined her on the sofa.

  ‘This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Harder even than losing Julia and the baby. I think we’ve both realised we can’t make this work, however much we’d like to. It’s bollocks that love conquers all.’

  ‘You thought you’d never get over your wife dying, but you did. We’ll both get over this eventually. I
should have told you that Mr Billings rang and asked me to tell you to ring him. He wants to apologise and offer you your job back.’

  ‘I’m not sure that I want it, but I might as well speak to him.’

  He closed the door behind him so she couldn’t overhear his conversation. He was talking for some time and then instead of coming back to the sitting room he went upstairs.

  Five minutes later he appeared in the doorway with both his bags. Her heart sunk. He’d obviously decided to leave immediately. She wouldn’t break down in front of him; she had too much pride for that.

  ‘You’re leaving then?’

  He stood in front of her, his expression closed, like a stranger, not like the man she loved.

  ‘Obviously. I’ve always been the sort of man who likes a quiet, calm existence and I’m sorry, Nancy, I just can’t deal with the constant turmoil you drag me into. For both our sakes we have to let go of this, accept it was never meant to be and put it aside.’

  ‘You sound like a broken record, David. We’ve had this conversation at least twice before and yet here you are. I haven’t been chasing after you; it’s you who keeps coming to me.’

  ‘This time it’s definitely over. I’ll speak to the Stantons and make sure they understand that I don’t wish to be contacted under any circumstances.’

  ‘Well, that couldn’t be any plainer. You’re the children’s legal guardian yet, because things haven’t gone smoothly between us, you’re going to toss them aside. I thought better of you. I can assure you that we’ll manage very well without your help.’

  ‘The house sale will go through in the next couple of weeks. The money will be deposited into your account. You don’t have to move out until after you’ve had the baby.’

  ‘That’s all right then. I won’t see you out. Take care of yourself, David, and I hope you’ll find happiness one day with someone your friends will think more acceptable than me.’

  ‘Goodbye, Nancy.’

  He stepped around her and vanished into the boot room where she could hear him banging about putting on his overalls and collecting his motorbike gear. She retreated to her bedroom wondering how yet again something wonderful had turned into exactly the opposite.

  She slept little that night and was up and making plans an hour before her usual time. Whatever he said she knew that if he heard she was in trouble he’d come and they’d be back to square one. The only way to prevent this was to move away immediately and leave no forwarding address.

  The children were disappointed that Uncle David had left without saying goodbye and wanted to know why she was going into Chelmsford so early.

  ‘I’ve got things to do. I’ll tell you all about it when I get back.’

  By lunchtime she’d found a house set in a lane off Springfield Road. It had a large garden, very neglected, and this was bordered by the River Chelmer. It had been built a while ago, when Queen Victoria had been alive, but would suit her and her children perfectly.

  Even better, the house was furnished and she arranged to buy the contents as well. The solicitors were happy for her to rent the property until the sale was completed so she could move in immediately. It had been built for someone rich so had indoor plumbing and everything. The old lady who’d lived there until her death a few weeks ago had neglected the garden but the interior was clean and tidy.

  The furniture was old-fashioned, but that didn’t bother her. All she had to do now was find a carter to transport her belongings and those of the children. She was now the client of a different solicitor so there was no danger of David discovering her whereabouts from the ones who dealt with his legal matters.

  Mr Smithson – the similarity of this solicitor’s name to her own was why she’d chosen him to act for her – was only too happy to arrange all the details of her move. She liked him on sight as he was elderly, had a mop of white hair and twinkling blue eyes. If he’d had a beard, he’d look just like Father Christmas.

  ‘Forgive me for asking, Mrs Smith, but is your happy event likely to take place quite soon?’

  ‘In three weeks. I’ve decided it’ll be easier moving with him inside than waiting until he comes.’

  ‘My daughter recently presented us with our fourth grandson. The same woman delivered all four and Nora thinks very highly of her. Would you like me to ask Nurse Middleton to call on you as soon as you’re settled?’

  ‘That’s ever so kind of you. I’d be really grateful.’

  ‘I’ll ask when I see her this evening. I think I can help you out with the services of a gardener as the grounds are somewhat of a wilderness at the moment.’

  ‘I’d appreciate your help, thank you, Mr Smithson.’

  She returned to Chalfont Major, with the keys to Springfield Villa in her handbag, after the children were in bed. Now came the difficult task of explaining to Mary that her employment would end in the morning. She wasn’t sure if Dr Jones wanted to keep Fred on, but she couldn’t see why he wouldn’t. Billy and Betty wouldn’t be told anything until they were in Chelmsford. The carter would call for the suitcases, crib, bits of furniture, as well as all the toys and boxes, that afternoon and deliver them before tea. Unfortunately, the cot had been returned now that Betty was sleeping in a bed.

  ‘I’m moving to Romford to be nearer my family. I’ve found a lovely house there – that’s where I’ve been all day. I’m not happy living somewhere so quiet. All three of us come from the East End and although we can’t go back there at the moment, Romford’s almost as good.’

  ‘This is all very sudden, Nancy. I don’t understand why you’ve decided to move before your baby is born.’

  ‘I reckon it’s going to be a lot easier doing it now than trying to move with a new baby. I’ve been thinking about it for ages and all this fuss with Doctor Jones just made me do it now. I’ve made up your wages until the end of the month in lieu of notice.

  ‘The house and practice have been sold to Doctor Jones so he’ll be moving in, in a couple of weeks. Thank you for your help over these past few months.’

  There wasn’t much else to say. She and Mary hadn’t been close but they had jogged along happily enough together.

  ‘I’ve enjoyed working here and having two weeks free before I take up my next position is ideal. It will give Fred and I time to get organised in our new cottage. You’re going to be missed in the village, especially by the vicar and his wife.’

  ‘It can’t be helped. I expect I’ll join a choir somewhere else eventually. I’ll get the children dressed and ready tomorrow morning. I’d be ever so grateful if you’d bring down the cases, boxes and so on and make sure they go on the cart when the man comes to collect them.’

  ‘I’ll do that willingly. I expect you’re going across to speak to Mrs Stanton now.’

  ‘I haven’t got time at the moment as I’ve got to pack. I found some tea chests in the attic and intend to take as much as I can with me. David doesn’t want it and I don’t want the doctor to have it.’

  ‘Fred and I can help you. What about Doctor Denny’s things?’

  ‘We’ll pack those up and leave them ready for him to collect. I’m sure Doctor Jones will contact him when he moves in. Another thing, I’m taking Polly as Doctor Jones doesn’t like dogs. The carter will bring her when he brings the rest of the things.’

  Between the three of them they got everything done. The few pieces of furniture she wanted to take had been moved into the sitting room. All the children’s toys were there as well as her own clothes and bits and pieces. There were also tea chests full of books, cutlery and crockery and other kitchen utensils. The two wirelesses were coming with her as well as all the bed linen and towels as these had become impossible to find since the beginning of the war.

  ‘I need Fred to put all the garden tools that he doesn’t use on the cart when it comes. I’ll be having a gardener where I’m going so will need them.’

  The next morning she walked out as if she hadn’t a care in the world. ‘Auntie Nancy, where
are we going?’ Billy asked as he trotted beside her to the bus stop.

  ‘We’re going to Romford. We’re catching the bus and then we’ll get the train from Chelmsford.’

  ‘A bus and train? Betty, it’s going to be a lovely day out. Can we have chips for lunch?’

  ‘I don’t know, but we’ll certainly have something delicious. Listen, I can hear the bus coming.’

  The children chatted loudly about going to Romford and the other passengers smiled and nodded and would hopefully remember if David ever came looking for her later.

  She hadn’t spoken to the vicar or Mrs Stanton because she didn’t want to lie to them. She’d written a letter and had already posted it. As far as everyone was concerned, she and the children were moving to Romford to be near her family. She was cutting all ties to the village.

  When she was settled she would have to write to her friends and explain what she’d done. She could rely on them keeping her secret and didn’t want to lose touch. She’d also sent a quick note to her mother saying she was moving away and would be in touch later when she knew where she’d be living. The only way she could get on with her life without all the upset was to make sure David didn’t find her.

  26

  Nancy would have to lead the children down Duke Street, through Tindal Square, along the High Street and then turn left into Springfield Road. They were so interested in everything they saw that they didn’t think to ask where they were going or why they were in Chelmsford.

  Probably both of them thought they were actually in Romford and she wasn’t going to confuse them with the truth until they were happy in their new home. She decided to stop at the fish and chip shop and buy the requested chips.

  They found a wall to sit on in the sunshine. Betty nearly lost her portion when she held it up to look at the picture on the newspaper that was wrapped around it. As they were licking their lips and crunching up the last of the scraps she decided to tell them the first of the changes to their lives.