Trouble in Loveland

by Jennifer Peel

  I love this woman, and I think I’m ready to name her my mother-in-law. “I was just thinking the same thing about you,” I responded.

  She stepped back and touched my cheek. “I think we will be the best of friends.”

  I nodded. I thought so, too. Or at least I really, really hoped so.

  I held the front car door open for her and motioned for her to take my place.

  “No, no. I want to sit in the back with my grandson.” She winked at me.

  I liked her even more.

  Ryan smiled over at me and held my hand before he drove off. All felt right in the world.

  I was even hopeful the next day as we headed to the party. Josh chatted nonstop on the way there. He was excited about all aspects of the party from the bounce houses, to the cake and ice cream, to the presents, and his friends. He had made quite a few friends in preschool, and, of course, he had a cousin close to his age coming.

  I will admit I was a little nervous, but having Kaye there made me feel better. She was pretty anti-Victoria, not that she said it in front of Josh, but after he went to bed last night, she opened up. Kaye was not thrilled with Victoria at all. She thought she took too much of Ryan’s money and that the custody arrangement favored her. But for me, she had nothing but praise. I was apparently smart, beautiful, and charming, and not even the annoying kind that Ryan claimed me to be. She told me privately while Ryan was in the kitchen last night that she always wished I was older, so one of her sons could date me. I guess if you wait around long enough, we all get older. She was thrilled Ryan and I were together. “There’s this light about him now that you’re in his life,” she said.

  I hoped so.

  Ryan was fidgety on the way there. I reached over and rubbed his neck. “Are you ok?”

  “Yeah,” he nodded.

  “Good, because I have some exciting news.” I was going to wait until after to tell him, but I was already bursting.

  He glanced my way briefly and smiled.

  “CSU admitted me into their Master’s in Psychology program. I start in January.”

  I could see him smile as he kept his eyes on the road, but he reached over and placed his hand on my leg. “I’m proud of you.”

  I placed my hand on top of his. “Thank you.”

  “That’s wonderful,” his mom said from the backseat.

  Ryan and I retrieved the gifts from the back of his car while his mom tried to reign in Josh, or at least tried to keep him from getting ran over in the parking lot. With our brief moment alone, I tugged on his shirt until my lips pressed against his. He nicely joined in by wrapping his arms around me and kissing me deeper.

  After our brief, yet passionate, kiss, he grinned. “I’ve been missing your lips.”

  I smiled. “Yes, I was definitely thinking our lips should get together more often.”

  “It’s a date,” he said playfully.

  “By the way, I have a surprise for you later.”

  “Like after my mom and Josh go to bed kind of surprise?”

  I raised my eyebrow at his seductive comment, even though I knew it was innocent, at least mostly. “If you want it to be.”

  He winked at me.

  I took that as a yes.

  We walked in loaded down with gifts. I had fun shopping with Ryan for them. I hoped someday we would be buying the kind of gifts that were from both of us. Regardless, I had a lot of input, so I guess in a way, they kind of were. But I was taking all the credit for what I bought for him. I wouldn’t even let my dad go in on it. I made him purchase his own gift for Josh. Or more like I shopped for it and my dad paid for it. I was surprised he didn’t have Felicity do it for him. Those two were like teenagers in love. I was kind of jealous. My dad seemed so sure about Felicity now that he knew he had my blessing. I wished Ryan would tell me he loved me like my dad told Felicity all the time, except at work. They were trying to be covert there, but believe me, people were talking.

  Once we entered the fun zone, it was anything but fun for me. Right off the bat, there was this horrible tension when we walked into the party room. Victoria greeted her son with hugs and kisses and then was glued to her friend Trixie (yes, that dear showed up) and her sister-in-law, hashtag “wicked witch Osanna.” Osanna was married to Jonathon, Victoria’s brother. He and Alec were semi-decent to me, but you could tell it made them uncomfortable, just like Ryan. I couldn’t figure out what this hold was that Victoria had on everyone.

  Ryan was good to me, but he wasn’t as affectionate as he normally would have been. And I guarantee, those women were talking about me. They were all dressed to the nine’s and I was dressed nice, but casual. This was a kid’s birthday party after all, not the Academy Awards. I looked down at my vest, scarf, jeans, and boots and thought I looked pretty cute and stylish.

  My saving grace was Kaye. She never left my side, and I had a feeling she had a diatribe on the tip of her tongue for her once-upon-a-time daughter-in-law. She kept looking at her and tsking. I could tell Ryan was torn on how he should behave, or should I say who he should be with. I figured it was his son’s birthday, so I didn’t make a fuss when it seemed like Victoria needed his help with everything. Apparently, lighting candles is a tricky business, as is moving chairs.

  My heart had a little twinge of pain as we sang to Josh and he was flanked by his mom on one side and his dad on the other. They looked like the perfect little family. As soon as my favorite four-year-old blew out the candles on his Spiderman cake, both his parents kissed him on the cheek. They both looked at each other afterward, and there was this weird tension. Victoria gave Ryan this look. You know that look that sometimes wives give husbands. The one that says how you really feel about that person. Ryan didn’t reciprocate, but it was awkward for me.

  Kaye squeezed my hand as it seemed like several eyes focused on me. I nervously tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled. What else could I do? I wished that was the worst of it. Presents were next. Victoria wanted to get that out of the way before the kids went to play. I don’t know if that was a good call. They were all chomping at the bit to head out there. Not even cake or ice cream seemed very enticing to them. Josh’s friends were generous, and it was all well and good until Josh liked my present more than his mom’s. She had bought him some educational tablet that I’m sure was very expensive. Josh kind of tossed it aside and then opened my gift. He immediately wanted to put on the jersey, and he was really excited about going to the game. Victoria wasn’t happy at all. She wished me dead with her eyes as Josh ran to me and hugged me.

  “Thank you, Cherry.”

  “Her name is Charlee,” his mom corrected him.

  “I don’t mind him calling me Cherry,” I said quietly.

  “I want him to talk properly.”

  I looked up at Ryan, who was standing near Victoria trying to get some guidance on how to proceed.

  “It’s just a nickname he has for her.” I knew he didn’t want to say anything. I was surprised he did.

  “Well, I think it’s darling,” Kaye said as she squeezed her grandson before he ran back to open the rest of his gifts.

  The other adults in the room were looking between the two camps like this was some sort of ping pong match. Thankfully, Victoria left it alone. I didn’t want to have to tell Josh he couldn’t call me that. I was quite fond of it.

  I was happy when they released the kids to the play area. The party room had become suffocating to me. Kaye and I stood nearby and watched Josh play with his friends. Ryan joined us after he oversaw the cleaning up of the party room. He surprised me by standing by me and holding my hand and kissing the side of my head.

  “I’m looking forward to taking Josh to that game with you,” he said.

  “You think the third ticket was for you?”

  He smiled and squeezed my hand.

  “Me, too,” I said.

  All was well and good for about two seconds.

  Josh came running up to me. “Cherry, will you bounce with us?”
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br />   I felt Ryan squeeze my hand tighter, so I looked at him quizzically before answering his son. He didn’t say anything, but it was like his eyes pleaded with me not to.

  I smiled sadly. “I’ve never been one to stand on the sidelines. I’m not changing that for anyone.” Especially not Victoria.

  Ryan’s eyes registered understanding, but I knew what he was thinking. Victoria wasn’t going to like it.

  I let go of his hand and turned back to Josh. “I would love to.”

  “Me, too,” said Kaye.

  I turned to her and smiled. “Rock on, Grandma.”

  We both took off our shoes to the turned up noses of Victoria and her cronies. I didn’t care. I was tired of this game. I took Josh’s hand, and we made our way to the bounce house that looked like a fire truck—it was his favorite, of course. I didn’t even bother looking at Ryan. If he wanted me to be someone I wasn’t around Victoria, then we had a problem, a big problem.

  I had a great time bouncing with Josh, his friends, and his wonderful grandma. Josh had me teach his friends “Ring Around the Rosie”. They all giggled as we all fell down. I didn’t bother looking at the adults. I knew they were staring at me. I could feel it, but this was who I was.

  As Josh and his friends moved on to the ball pit, Kaye and I took up seats on one of the benches while Ryan talked to Alec and Jonathon.

  Kaye looked between her son and me. “You know, a long time ago he would have been the first one to jump.”

  I looked at her concerned face. “I think I embarrass him.”

  “Nonsense. He would be a fool to be embarrassed by you.”

  “I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like he wants me to be someone else.”

  “I hope you don’t mean Victoria.”

  “That’s exactly who I mean.”

  “No. He was miserable with her.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She took my hand. “I’m sure. I see the way he looks at you. Sometimes people get into patterns with how they deal with people. They’re unhealthy habits, and they’re hard to break.”

  “Maybe you should be the psychologist.” I smiled.

  “No. I’ve just been around for a long time. Getting older has some benefits.”

  “I don’t think Ryan sees their relationship as anything but healthy.”

  “Well, then he’s a fool.”

  Maybe, I thought to myself.

  The car ride home was pretty quiet. Josh was worn out and sleeping, and Ryan’s mom was texting her husband.

  Ryan reached over and held my hand. “Hey, thanks for coming today and for the great gift you gave Josh.”

  I didn’t say anything other than to nod my head in acknowledgment. I was watching the clouds roll in. There was a storm coming in. You could feel the snow that was coming.

  “Jonathon and Osanna invited me over for Thanksgiving so I can be with Josh.”

  My heart sank. I was happy for him, but I guess my plans of skiing and getting cozy in front of the fireplace just went out the window. I was also hoping we would spend one holiday together. I knew he and Josh were going to D.C. for Christmas to spend it with his family.

  “That’s nice,” I said as I stared out the window. My insides brewed, like the gathering clouds.

  “Do you think that’s wise?” his mom asked.

  “I don’t see any harm in it,” Ryan answered. “I’m thankful for the invite. I hate spending the holidays away from Josh.”

  “Hmmm …” his mom replied.

  I stayed silent. I hated that he had to be away from Josh, but something seemed off about all of it. I felt like Victoria had ulterior motives, but what could I say about it?

  Ryan came around and opened my door for me when we got to his house.

  “Thank you.” I kissed him on the cheek. “I think I’m going to head home. I’m tired.”

  “What about my surprise?”

  “Oh … it was nothing. I’ll see you later.”

  He reached out for my hand as I walked away and pulled me back. “You can come back later if you want.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Charlee?”

  “I’m fine,” I lied, and he knew it. His eyes were full of concern.

  I walked home slowly and wondered what I was doing and wondered if there was any hope for Ryan and me.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  The following week was Thanksgiving, and I had kept my distance with Ryan. I was confused. Josh’s party had made me realize that I had perhaps been more optimistic about our relationship than I should have been.

  Felicity and my dad had tried to get me to talk to them, but I didn’t know how to put it into words. Heck, even Ryan tried to get me to talk about it, but I didn’t know what to say to him exactly.

  I took to spending my time with Krissy, who was now past the puking stage; she even had a nice little baby bump going. She was due on April 6 and had just found out she was having a girl. Ann was in pink heaven, and the baby already had two wardrobes. I admit, I had bought my fair share, too. Little baby girl stuff was just too cute. The Lawtons, and now the Wallaces, took pity on me and invited me for Thanksgiving. I was benevolent and gave my tickets for a romantic day on the slopes to my dad and Felicity.

  I think they felt a little guilty taking them, and my dad was torn about whether he should spend the holiday with me, but I insisted. Being around the two lovebirds was making me green with envy. It’s a sad life when your dad has a hotter romance than you do. I was kind of used to it. I watched my mom date more than me through college. I had a feeling I would soon have a stepmother. I might even consider Felicity a stepmom if she and my dad got married, although I didn’t like that title; I would just think of her as mother the second. Or maybe mother the first if my own mom didn’t straighten up. She was still ignoring me since the summer when my dad let her have it.

  Can you see why I needed to become a psychologist? I lived a functional dysfunctional life.

  Ryan asked me to go for a run with him Thanksgiving morning before we each went our separate ways. I felt like I couldn’t say no. I had been putting him off since Josh’s party. I had made sure I stayed busy with Krissy, which meant I had a lot of ice cream the past week, so a run was in order. And it’s not that I didn’t want to see him. I did. My problem was I was in love with a man, but I wasn’t quite sure how he felt about me, and to top it off, he came with an ex-wife that seemed to get in the way in more ways than one.

  We met behind the fence. It was actually not a bad morning for November. It was clear and crisp, but not cold.

  Ryan greeted me with a kiss on my cheek. “There’s my long lost girlfriend. I was beginning to think I would only see you in the office.”

  I smiled, but I didn’t really feel it. “I’ve been busy.”

  “I’ve noticed.”

  I took off running, and he followed.

  “Charlee, are you upset with me?”

  “No.”

  “Are you upset that I’m spending Thanksgiving with Victoria’s family?”

  “No. I mean I don’t know. I’m happy you get to be with Josh, but how would you feel if, say, I was spending the day with Jay?”

  He thought for a moment. “It would be off-putting for me, but this is different.”

  “How?”

  “Because these people are family to me.”

  I didn’t answer him. I guess he had a point. Not as valid as he thought, but I didn’t push it further.

  “Do you want to come with me?” he asked hesitantly.

  “We both know that’s not a good idea.”

  He gave me a knowing look.

  I sighed.

  Our run was mostly a silent affair.

  At the end, he pulled me to him and wrapped me up. “Charlee,” he whispered in my ear. “Please tell me what you want. I don’t like it when we’re apart.”

  I sank into him. I missed him, too. “Ryan, I just want to know that we’re on the same page.”

  “What page is t
hat?”

  “The one where I mean as much to you as you mean to me.”

  “My mom told me that you thought I was embarrassed by you. Is that what this is all about? Because that’s just not the case. Any man in his right mind would be proud to call you his girlfriend, and I am.”

  “It’s more than that, Ryan, and you don’t need to answer right away, but I need to know how you feel about me.”

  “Charlee, where is all this coming from? I’m happy with where we’re at. You know how much I care about you.”

  I reached up and kissed him once, softly on the lips. “Have a Happy Thanksgiving.”

  He cradled my face in his hands and peered into my eyes. “You, too. I’ll call you later, or better yet, I’ll come by. Please say yes.”

  I nodded my head. He smiled and kissed me goodbye.

  The whole next week I just went along with him and pretended like everything was grand and I had nothing to worry about. Ryan was doing his best to be overly emotive and attentive. Normally I would have been into it, but it didn’t come from the place I wanted it to come from. He was doing it because he was worried. I had no doubt he cared for me, but I knew he didn’t love me and I loved him, and that was a problem for me. If he loved me, he would have said it Thanksgiving morning. Right?

  I almost did, just to get it out in the open and because it was hurting me to keep it inside. Of course, there was the part of me that said, Quit sweating this, you’ve only been dating for just over four months, you have plenty of time.

  It didn’t matter because the following Friday it all came to a head. It’s funny how life has a way of working it all out, even if it sucks. Ryan was in major boyfriend mode. Lunch dates every day that week, flowers, major make-out sessions in front of his fireplace. Then I got a very interesting phone call Friday afternoon as I sat wanting to poke my eyes out and reminding myself that in a month I would only be doing this part-time and I would be studying my favorite subject (other than Ryan).

  “Hello?”

  “Charlee, sweetie, it’s Kaye.”

  “Hi. It’s so nice to hear from you. How are you?”