February The Fifth (The Glothic Tales)

by Derek Haines

  ‘It’s a key,’ he said smiling at the bewildered faces. ‘Shall we go?’

  Once inside Atoth stopped and said, ‘Welcome to the Gregorian Library Annex.’

  ‘Annex?’ April asked.

  ‘Yes. The main library is still housed in the Cavern of Clavius deep below Rom. This library however is where the most sensitive documents are kept.’

  ‘Are these all the records?’ Feb asked Atoth looking at two walls of bookshelves.

  ‘On no! This is just the ante-room. There are six halls of history.’

  ‘That’s a lot of books,’ String commented.

  ‘Not just books. There are audio, visual and holographic Testamonirealitimator records, DNA and molecular collections as well as ancient digital media compilations,’ Atoth said quite proudly.

  ‘That should keep you busy for some time, ‘Snurd said to String in one of his better attempts at humour.

  ‘Ha! Yes Snurd. You can have fun counting them,’ String said with a laugh.

  ‘So it’s a museum?’ April asked.

  ‘Yes,’ Atoth replied. ‘But there is one very important asset here.’

  ‘Yes?’ April asked.

  ‘The twelve facets of the Royal Gregorian family traits are safe guarded here.’

  ‘The traits I’m supposed to have?’ Feb asked.

  ‘Yes February,’ and Atoth paused. ‘You have them, but you don’t know what they are or how to use them. You weren’t prepared.’

  ‘March was?’

  ‘Yes. And October to a lesser degree.’

  ‘But March must have had years of education and preparation for this,’ Feb said.

  ‘Of course February. And we now really only have a few days,’ Atoth replied seriously.

  ‘Right. So where do we start Atoth?’

  ‘With a history lesson February.’

  The Gregorian Line

  ‘We’ll start with the roots of the Gregorians, shall we?’ Atoth started by way of saying school was in.

  ‘Certainly,’ Feb responded.

  ‘Alright. We’ll go to the Ancient Hall and look at the birth of the Gregorian family tree,’ Atoth said and continued. ‘It may be a little laborious. Would you prefer to stay and search the Testamonirealitimator records?’ He asked Snurd and String. ‘I can have Adiddle bring some snack and refreshments.’

  ‘That would be great!’ String responded immediately. ‘I’m not much on who begot who.’

  ‘Oh you know about the ancient book called the Bible then String?’ Atoth asked in surprise.

  ‘Only a little. But I remember the Book of Numbers. I think I fell asleep for most of that whole lesson at school.’

  ‘I’ll keep him company,’ Snurd said thinking that Atoth would prefer to be alone with Feb and April for this part of the lesson.

  ‘Alright,’ Atoth said. ‘Feel free to look at whatever you like. I’ll get Adiddle to bring the refreshments and he can help you with the Testamonirealitimator.’

  ‘Out of interest,’ Snurd said, ‘Is there another name for this Testamonirealitimator thing?’

  ‘Oh yes. Sorry. The TR.’

  Once String and Snurd were happily installed with Adiddle and enjoying watching holograms dance around the main hall, Atoth led Feb and April away to the Ancient Hall. Passing the Establishment, Gregorian Wars, Renaissance, Erdean and Glothic Halls.

  ‘I gather you didn’t wish Snurd and String to attend,’ Feb asked Atoth.

  ‘I know you trust them February, but I think this is a family matter, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes, if you say so,’ Feb said with a slight touch of disagreement.

  ‘I think this is a family matter too Feb,’ April said. ‘I’m sure Snurd and String felt it was not their place. They’re very sensible Feb.’

  ‘Probably.’ Feb said. ‘But I trust their loyalty.’

  ‘Of that there’s no doubt Feb,’ April replied. ‘As they trust you.’

  ‘We’re here,’ Atoth said as he opened the heavy wooden door to the Ancient Hall and showed April and Feb into the hall. ‘Let’s get comfortable over here,’ he said as he pointed towards two large leather sofas in the middle of the hall.

  ‘I think we should start at the beginning,’ Atoth said in a way that indicated the lecture was about to begin.

  ‘We’re ready,’ Feb replied.

  ‘Very well. Contrary to the commonly held understanding, the Gregorian line began on Erde over two million years ago. At the time Erde was called Earth, Terre or Tierra among other names and the population of Erde spoke hundreds of different languages.’

  ‘How could they communicate?’ April asked.

  ‘With great difficulty April. If at all. Not only that, but Erde was divided into what they called countries. Over one hundred and fifty in fact. Worse still was that these countries were also divided into smaller tribal regions. With very different races occupying the different countries and tribal regions.’

  ‘What? Different races on the same planet?’ Feb asked. ‘How could that have been?’

  ‘As a result of a decision a million or so years before the Gregorian line was established on Erde, by the good men of Gloth. You see, all the other planets in what is now Sun System One were contributing in some way to the economy of Gloth. You must remember that this was before even Sun System Two had been found, let alone conquered. So there was only the one original Glothic Sun System to exploit. But Erde was simply a planet populated by animals, insects and bacteria. The good men of the time were considering a settlement there, but that would’ve taken far too long to establish a large enough population to be economically attractive. Instead, they discovered a very low level ancestor that was genetically similar to Glothians and decided to genetically transform this creature so it would evolve rapidly into an intelligent being.’

  ‘What was the animal?’ Feb asked.

  ‘Various names, but generally known as an ape or monkey. It had a very similar anatomical form to Glothians, but had no ability to communicate or rationalise and lacked an intellect. With selective genetic modification, the monkeys and apes evolved quickly into a form that was finally called human. An acronym for Hybridised Uniform Manipulation And Naturalisation. It was a logical idea, and in many respects very successful. These humans quickly proved to be very industrious, self reliant and creative. The only problem was that there was a wide variety of monkeys and apes spread across Erde and in their rush, the good men decided to use almost any species of monkey or ape they could find to save time. This led to these humans being very different depending on which part of the planet they inhabited.’

  ‘So hence the variety of languages,’ April commented.

  ‘Yes. As well as very different physical appearances. This is what led to so many different tribes and then later these tribes formed into countries. This was the start of many problems, as they had great difficulty accepting each other and it resulted in war across the planet.’

  ‘So what did the Glothians of the time do to remedy their mistake?’ Feb asked.

  ‘Oh they tried a lot of approaches, but the numbers had become so large, all they could do was try and manage the situation. It was too late for mass culling. They continually visited Erde in an attempt to pacify the different human breeds, but ended up being revered, which led to even more problems. The cruisers used during the human program were designated with the name of the department responsible for the program. It was called the Glothic Oversight Detachment. A few of the human groups started to idolise and worship the Glothians who arrived regularly by cruiser and the word God was given to the commander of each mission by them. Then, as these human groups communicated differently, they separately developed their own ways of worshipping the arriving God and then even this word, derived from the program’s acronym, changed as well. There are records of words such as The Almighty, The Creator, The Maker, Allah, Jehovah, Yahweh, Father, The Great Spirit and Gitchi Manitou among hundreds of others.’

  ‘So what you’re saying is t
hat another divide developed on top of language and race,’ Feb observed.

  ‘Yes. Faith, belief, religion or whatever you want to call it became another reason humans found to disagree and get upset with each other. So more fighting.’

  ‘So how was it resolved?’ April asked.

  ‘Unfortunately April, it never was. These races, beliefs and geographical loyalties became ever stronger and the intensity of intolerance increased. In one last effort to quell the wars that raged, Gloth decided to take advantage of one of the largest religions that had gained enormous popularity. It was based on the belief that one particular young man who had died a horrid death by being nailed to a wooden frame, was the son of God. As it had a following that crossed a number of human breeds, the Glothic leaders of the time thought they might be able to regain some control by taking it over.’

  ‘What did they do?’ Feb asked.

  ‘They installed a full time leader of the religion. Quite a masterstroke really. A representative from the Glothic Oversight Detachment was stationed on Erde and encouraged the belief that he had direct communication with these people’s God. Which indeed he did. He was given the title of Pope.’

  ‘An odd title,’ April said.

  ‘It meant father in one of their languages.’

  ‘Not so odd then,’ Feb added. ‘So, did it work?’

  ‘Well, not really. In fact, with so much power over so many people, Gloth ended up losing control over the Papacy after only a few hundred years, as subsequent Popes were elected locally on Erde and then they started going about waging war on Erdeans of different beliefs. All quite messy.’

  ‘Was it bought back under control?’ April asked.

  ‘No. The good men of Gloth decided the best thing to do was leave Erde to itself. To be classified as a failed experiment and more importantly a failed investment.’

  ‘What? Just walked away?’

  ‘Yes February,’ Atoth replied. ‘But only for about a thousand years.’

  ‘I’ll see if Adiddle can bring us some refreshments, shall I?’ Atoth asked.

  ‘Thank you Atoth,’ April said. ‘After so much information, a little break would be nice.’

  ‘I’m sorry about having to do this so quickly.’

  ‘Not at all Atoth, we appreciate this very much,’ Feb said realising how little he knew about Glothic history. ‘I understand that I have to know about these events.’

  ‘Yes February. It is said that you need to understand history before you can ….’

  ‘ .. understand the present?’ Feb interrupted.

  ‘And then do something about it,’ April added.

  ‘Exactly April. Ah! Adiddle. Just in time. We’re dying of thirst here,’ Atoth smiled as Adiddle arrived with tea and coffee.

  ‘That was super fast,’ Feb said.

  ‘Oh I try to anticipate sir,’ Adiddle said with a big smile.

  ‘Can I ask how long you have been here with Atoth?’ April asked.

  ‘When did time begin?’ Atoth asked Adiddle to help answer her question.

  ‘It was a second after midnight about a million years ago was it not sir?’ Adiddle smiled as he answered Atoth.

  ‘May have been two in fact.’

  ‘Yes sir. Could well have been. Time seems to fly by does it not?’

  ‘I think you’ve answered my question gentlemen, ‘ April said with a broad understanding smile.

  ‘How are our other two guests?’ Atoth asked Adiddle.

  ‘Last time I saw sir, Mr Stringley and Mr Humped were enjoying an ancient hologram recording and were dancing with some lovely ladies on Outer Multitudinous sir.’

  After their short break, Atoth asked if they were ready to continue.

  ‘Oh yes please Atoth,’ Feb replied. ‘So what happened after the thousand years you mentioned?’

  ‘As you would understand, there was a number of changes in Potentate during the time that passed, and this in hindsight was probably a good thing. Brought some fresh thinking on Gloth and on Erde. Well it was actually more like thinking on Gloth and forgetting on Erde.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ April asked.

  ‘During the relatively short time that passed, each new Potentate reviewed the possibility of gaining an economic advantage from Erde. However it wasn’t until the investiture of December the Ninth that some action was finally taken.’

  ‘He installed a new, what was it? A new Pope?’ Feb asked.

  ‘Yes February. But not from Gloth. He arranged for a secret expedition to Erde to find a, well, a cooperative Pope. One that might have some sympathy with the economic policies of Gloth.’

  ‘A puppet?’

  ‘In a word. Yes.’

  ‘So how was this Pope selected. Or should I say, persuaded?’

  ‘Self interest of course.’

  ‘Someone who could profit from assistance from Gloth?’ Feb asked.

  ‘Exactly February. As it happened, there was quite a debate raging in what had become known as the Catholic Church. For some time they had been arguing about what was called the Council of Trent which condemned something called Protestant heresies.’

  ‘Protestant?’ Feb asked.

  ‘Oddly enough, it was a large group who more or less held the same beliefs as those of the Catholics. But as had become quite normal on Erde, defining a new group with very small differences was enough to create warring factions.’

  ‘Right. So how did Gloth use this?’

  ‘At the time, as a result of this process called the Council of Trent, there was a movement to reform. It really meant modify to the advantage of a powerful few, but somehow this kind of subterfuge always worked on Erdeans. A young rising star if you like, Ugo Boncompagni, was becoming more involved in this process and along with it, he started to increase his authority and standing. In the fullness of time, he may have had some chance of becoming the Pope.’

  ‘Can I surmise that with the assistance from Gloth, his prospects improved?’ Feb asked.

  ‘Right February. December the Ninth gave his consent to a plan to spread dissent among the followers of the then Pope Pius the Fifth. To cut a long story short, a propaganda campaign was used against any viable candidate who may have been considered suitable to replace the ageing Pope, and the wonderful virtues of Ugo Boncompagni were spread amongst the Catholic movement. In return, Boncompagni agreed to support Gloth in establishing various economic interests on Erde. After some time passed, and the plan had been enacted and the popularity of Boncompagni had been established, Pope Pius the Fifth conveniently up and died.’

  ‘Naturally?’ April asked.

  ‘There are no records of a plan to assassinate him, but it was very timely, so one can surmise perhaps.’

  ‘He was elected Pope I gather,’ Feb said.

  ‘Yes February. He was duly elected and became Pope Gregory the Thirteenth,’ Atoth paused and waited.

  ‘Gregory!’ Feb exclaimed. ‘As in Gregorian?’

  ‘Yes February. As in Gregorian.’

  The Right Royal Family

  ‘Before we get started with the family connection, it’s important to know a little about Gregory first,’ Atoth said.

  ‘Yes, very well,’ Feb replied but noticeably eager to know more about the family connection.

  ‘Alright. As fast as I can then. Gregory the Thirteenth is best remembered for his correction of the calendar. Called the Gregorian calendar later in his honour, he worked with the help of a Jesuit priest and astronomer named Christopher Clavius.’

  ‘The Cavern of Clavius,’ April couldn’t help but saying.

  ‘Yes April. The secret chambers that Gregory had constructed later in his Papacy were named in honour of Clavius, who Gregory admired for his outstanding intelligence and loyalty. Anyway, the new calendar corrected the previous Julian Calendar which lost accuracy by a full day every one hundred and thirty-four years. Not that it would have affected many people at the time, but it did prove that he was one for detail. Meticulous perhaps.
While the previous Julian calendar named the months Ianuarius, Februarius, Martius, Aprilis, Maius, Iunius, Quintilis, Sextilis, September, October, November, and December, plus an old intercalary month called Mensis Intercalaris, Gregory formalised the names as we know them now.’

  ‘Our family names,’ April said.

  ‘Yes April. The twelve royal names of Gregorians.’

  ‘In memory of this Pope Gregory? Feb asked.

  ‘Not exactly February. As proof of descendance.’

  ‘What. We’re descendants of this Erdean Pope?’

  ‘Yes February.’

  ‘But we’re the Royal Family of Gloth,’ Feb said with a hint of doubt at Atoth’s statement.

  ‘That’s true February. But your blood is Erdean.’

  ‘That can’t be,’ April said with a gasp approaching shock.

  ‘There must be some error in your records Atoth,’ Feb protested. ‘We’re from Gloth. We’re Glothic,’ he continued, clearly upset at the assertion that his family were descendants of Erdeans who, as he had been told, were themselves descendants of monkeys. ‘Are you trying to tell us that we are the offspring of monkeys and apes as you so clearly explained?’ Feb continued to protest and started to raise his voice in anger. ‘I refuse to believe this. It’s insanity!’

  ‘Calm down Feb,’ April said trying to stop Feb from becoming angrier.

  ‘There’s more to this February. It’s my sworn responsibility to tell you. I’m sorry if this has upset you, but if you are to save the Royal Gregorian rule of the Twelve Sun Systems of Gloth, you must know the truth. With it comes the power you require to truly be the Supreme Potentate,’ Atoth said and waited in silence for a clearly agitated Feb to calm down.