Simple Choices

by Nancy Mehl

  I could clearly see the image on the sticker as I watched him disappear down Main Street. A big, black bear.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I woke up Wednesday morning after a night full of bad dreams. My worst nightmare was easy to interpret. Hannah in the back of a red truck, calling for help. A bear chasing after her and gaining ground. I woke up from the first round of dreams, my body drenched in sweat.

  Sleeping on the floor in the living room certainly wasn’t as comfortable as my bed. I pretended it was just fine, though, because I knew my father would feel badly if he thought I hadn’t rested well.

  I’d called Sam when I got home and told him about Rufus’s truck. He sounded interested but not alarmed. Then I called Pat and gave him the lowdown on Rufus and repeated what Susan told me about Jonathan. Pat was more than a little angry that the boy hadn’t been honest with him about meeting Hannah, but my hope that this information might convince him that Hannah had been abducted was dashed.

  “This still doesn’t prove she didn’t take off on her own, Gracie,” he said gruffly.

  I sighed with frustration. “But you have to admit that she obviously wasn’t planning to run away when she left home. She didn’t tell Jonathan about it. And what about the fact that none of her clothes were missing?”

  “I considered the clothing. But if she was leaving her Mennonite roots behind, I figure she wouldn’t take any of those long dresses anyway.”

  “Look, Pat. There’s no reason to believe she was planning to leave Harmony that night. Please, just keep an open mind, okay?”

  “I believe I am. I think I proved that when I talked to the KBI about Hannah. You need to give them time to do their jobs.”

  “Okay, okay. What about Rufus’s truck?”

  “I’ll look into it. I doubt seriously that Rufus is the man we’re looking for, but the last thing I need you to do right now is to make him suspicious. Stay away from him,” he warned. “Do you understand me, Gracie?”

  After giving him my promise more than once to mind my own business, I hung up the phone. I tried to focus instead on my plans for the day, but it wasn’t easy. I prayed Rufus wouldn’t get apprehensive and try to run. I also prayed that Pat would move quickly. We couldn’t take a chance on losing the only suspect we had.

  After a hearty breakfast, we all planned to go to Sam’s. Dad and Sam intended to tour the orchards and get to know each other better, a proposal Sam found slightly terrifying, while Mom and I went over wedding plans with Sweetie. I’d told Pat where I’d be so he could keep me posted on Rufus. Hannah had been gone two days now, although it seemed much longer.

  I cooked a big breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast, and then Mom and I cleaned up the kitchen.

  “Dad and Papa took baths last night,” Mom said as she put the last of the clean dishes away. “Do I have time to take a quick bath myself?”

  “We’re not due at Sweetie’s until two,” I said. “There’s plenty of time.” I looked up at the clock on the kitchen wall. “I think I’ll drive over to Abel and Emily’s and see how they’re doing. Do you think Dad can keep an eye on Papa?”

  My mother laughed. “Asking your father to watch over any member of his family is like asking a mother hen to guard her eggs. It’s part of his nature. Just let him know you’re going.”

  I hung up the dish towel on the rack and went off to find Dad. He and Papa were on the front porch. Papa rocked in the rocking chair while my father sat on the top step drinking his coffee. I knew he felt nostalgic here, remembering his boyhood. For a moment it struck me as rather odd that thirty years after leaving Harmony, he and Mom were finally back. But now his daughter lived in the house he’d grown up in, and he was a man, taking care of the father who’d once taken care of him. I stood in the doorway and watched them for a while before I said anything, touched by an odd feeling of enchantment I couldn’t explain. I just knew I didn’t want it to pass me by too quickly.

  “Think I’ll run into town,” I finally said, keeping my voice soft so as not to frighten Papa.

  Dad cranked his head around and smiled at me. “Sounds good. Have you asked Ida if she’d like to come with us today?”

  Man, I’d been thinking so much about Hannah and her situation, I’d almost forgotten about Ida. “You know, I haven’t. I’ll go call her right now. She’d probably enjoy being part of the wedding plans.”

  Papa grunted. “Weddings were simple affairs in our day. The bride wore a blue dress. The groom wore a black suit. Then after the ceremony there was a banquet with singing and storytelling. The first night, the couple stayed with the bride’s parents. And after that, they visited the homes of other relatives and friends who attended the wedding. There were no wedding rings and few if any flowers.”

  I pushed the screen door open and came out on the porch. “You weren’t at Mom and Dad’s wedding, were you?”

  Papa took my hand, and I sat down on the porch rail next to him. “No,” he said shaking his head. “We wanted them to get out of town and away from Harmony. You know, we should have followed them. It’s one of the greatest regrets of my life—and of Essie’s, too. But we were conflicted back then. Even though we believed Daniel and Beverly belonged together and we encouraged them to leave, we also felt we couldn’t just up and go with them. We thought being submissive to our bishop was being submissive to God. We were wrong. Our bishop was the one who wasn’t submissive to God. It took several years for us to see it.”

  “But you encouraged us to go, Papa,” Dad said. “And gave us enough money to get started. You have nothing to feel badly about. You and Mama were wonderful parents. Always.”

  Papa didn’t say anything, just kept rocking in the warm July morning air, holding my hand.

  “So what did Mom wear when you got married?” I asked my father. “She told me once it was just a plain dress because it was all she had.”

  “She wore my mother’s dress,” Dad said with a smile. “Dark-blue linen that brought out the color in her eyes.” He sighed. “She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. We were married in the home of a Mennonite pastor and his wife, friends of my parents who left Harmony before we did. We stayed the night with them, and they treated us like their own children.”

  “Owen and Darlene Papke,” Papa said. “Two of the finest people I ever knew.”

  “They live in Florida now,” Dad said. “We still exchange Christmas cards and call each other at least twice a year. They mean the world to your mother and me.”

  “What dress will you wear at your wedding?” Papa asked.

  “I bought one while I was in Wichita. It’s lovely. White, with embroidered flowers around the neckline.”

  “Look, Gracie,” my father said slowly, “maybe I should warn you. Your mother actually brought the blue dress with her—just in case you wanted to wear it. But she fully understands that you may have something totally different in mind. So be prepared when she brings it up, but don’t feel pressured. You know your mother. She’s the most sentimental person I’ve ever known, but she also loves you more than her own life. The blue dress is only here in case you want it. You’re under no obligation whatsoever to wear it.”

  I was a little stunned. An old blue linen dress? For my wedding? “Thanks for the heads up, Dad. I’ll just tell her I already have a dress. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

  “Of course she will, Snicklefritz. Don’t worry about it.”

  I let go of Papa’s hand, got up, and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll get you both some more coffee. Then I’m going to call Ida and head over to the Muellers for a visit. I’ll be back in plenty of time to go to Sam’s.”

  I took their cups and got them both fresh, hot coffee, and then I called Ida. She was thrilled to be included in the wedding plans. I thought about calling Abel and Emily, but I was afraid they wouldn’t let me come, and I was determined to see them, even if Emily was still angry with me. To get to their house, I had to drive through the middle of town, right pa
st Ludwig’s Meats. I realized why I hadn’t noticed the bumper sticker on Rufus’s truck sooner. He always backed his truck up to the store so he could unload new purchases of meat from local ranchers. Unless I walked down the sidewalk in front of his business, I couldn’t possibly see the back of his truck.

  I drove past the church, but Abel and Emily’s car wasn’t there. During the week, Abel could usually be found in his church office, but since Hannah left, he and Emily spent most of their time at home in case she showed up. Sure enough, I found their car sitting in its usual place at their house. Gathering up my courage, I parked behind it and walked to the front door. I waited awhile before knocking, butterflies beating their wings furiously inside my stomach. A few moments later the door opened. Abel smiled when he saw me.

  “Oh Gracie,” he said. “How nice of you to come by.” He hesitated and glanced away from the door. After a moment he turned back to me. “Please, come in.”

  “I don’t want to upset Emily,” I said quietly. “Is—is it okay?”

  He put his big, meaty hand on my shoulder. “Of course. She’ll be glad to see you.”

  I wasn’t so sure about that, but I walked into the house anyway. “Have you heard anything, Abel?”

  The big pastor shut the door behind me. “Nothing. Not a word.” He pointed toward the interior of the house. “Emily and Jonathan Vogler are on the back porch.

  “Jonathan? I hear Hannah was on her way to meet him when she disappeared.”

  Abel nodded. “Yes, we just found that out recently. Jonathan’s parents sent him here to explain what happened. We’ve just started talking to him. Why don’t you join us? Maybe you can add some insight to our conversation.”

  I followed him, but I wasn’t certain I’d be able to help much. When we entered the lovely enclosed back porch, Emily’s favorite room, I was shocked by her gaunt appearance. Her haunted eyes locked on mine. I winced at the pain I saw there and waited for her to rebuke me for coming. But she didn’t. Instead she rose and put her arms out.

  “I’m so sorry I blamed you for causing Hannah to leave us,” she said. “You’ve been a wonderful friend. I’ve just been so frightened.” She raised her face from my shoulder. “I—I can’t sleep at night. I don’t know where she is or what’s happening to her, Gracie.” A shudder racked her frail body. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

  I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to tell her everything would be all right—that all we could do is trust God to take care of Hannah. It was the truth, but for some reason I felt she would take it as a rebuke. I didn’t want to sound judgmental or sanctimonious. As I held her I sought heaven. What could I do to help? Again, just like at the restaurant, a voice spoke to me sweetly and softly. When Emily released me, I led her back to the chair where she’d been sitting.

  “Abel,” I said, “I wonder if you’d read the ninety-first Psalm to us? It’s so comforting, and I think it would help now.”

  “That’s a wonderful idea, Gracie,” he said in his deep, reassuring voice. I knew his emotions were as raw as Emily’s, but as the man of the house, he was working hard to maintain a calm exterior for his distraught wife.

  Abel took his Bible from the table next to him, flipped it open, and began to read the comforting scriptures to us. I glanced at Jonathan. His eyes were wide with fear. Perhaps his concern was for Hannah, or perhaps it was for his role in her disappearance. But whatever he was feeling, I watched as he visibly relaxed. Emily’s face changed as hope began to ignite a spark inside of her. The wonderful words became life in that room. They encouraged us to trust God, to make Him our refuge. Emily took a deep breath as Abel read that God has given His angels charge over us—to keep us in all our ways. And as Abel finished the psalm, the promise that God will be with us in trouble and deliver us when we call on Him, filled the atmosphere around us as if God Himself had just made us a personal promise. I could tell I wasn’t the only one who felt it.

  Abel closed the Bible and gazed lovingly at his wife. “Emily, I know that Hannah will return to us. I believe it with all my heart. God has spoken to us today.”

  For the first time since I’d come into the room, Emily smiled. She wiped her wet eyes with the tissue in her hand. “I feel it, too,” she said in her quiet voice. “No, it’s more than just a feeling. I believe it in my heart.” She looked at me. “Thank you, Gracie. God has used you to bring us comfort. Hannah will be all right.”

  I believed it, too, but I also felt an urgency in my spirit. Time was of the essence. I silently asked God to show me whatever I needed to know. Whatever I needed to see in my efforts to help bring Hannah home.

  “We were just talking to Jonathan about the night Hannah went missing,” Abel said. He turned his attention to the young boy. “Would you please start over, Jonathan? I’d like Gracie to hear everything.”

  Jonathan was dressed in jeans and a plain, blue shirt. I noticed that his shirt had no buttons but instead was closed with hooks and eyes. This was an Old Order style that not many Mennonites wore anymore. His long chestnut hair hung longer than most boys his age, and his large dark eyes were fastened on Abel. He was a handsome boy, and I could see why Hannah was attracted to him.

  He cleared his throat, obviously nervous. “L–like I said, sir, she told me during the day, after church, that she wanted to see me that night.” He hung his head. “We’d met a few times at night before she left town. We shouldn’t have done it. I know it was wrong. I–I’m so sorry. Maybe if I’d said no …”

  “Never mind, son,” Abel said gently. “I’m tired of hearing how everyone blames themselves for what happened. The truth is that Hannah chose to sneak out of our house. Her decision put her in danger. I know you would never have done anything to hurt my daughter.”

  The boy’s eyes filled with tears. “It’s true, sir. Hannah means a great deal to me. If I can do anything to help …”

  “You should have told the sheriff about this when he questioned you,” I said, not bothering to keep the edge of anger I felt out of my voice.

  “I—I know. I was just so scared when he showed up. I’m trying to make up for that.”

  “Just finish your story,” I said. “And this time, please don’t keep anything back. Maybe you’ll tell us something that will help us to find her.”

  He nodded and swiped at his eyes. “Hannah told me to meet her at our special place.” He looked at me shamefacedly. “We used to meet in a clearing behind your house. You know, where they found that body.”

  My mouth dropped open. “Why would you want to get together there?” I remembered that my mother and father used to meet at the same spot when they were young. What was so special about that clearing?

  “It’s so beautiful,” the boy said. “There’s a place where you can sit and see the lake, but no one can see you. The trees hide you. And besides, it’s halfway between our houses. It only takes us about twenty minutes to walk to it.”

  I looked over at Emily who had gone pale. This was the same spot where she used to sit and gaze out at the lake before she was raped by the man who was later buried there. The memory of that pain must be assailing her now, at a time she didn’t need to be thinking about it. She met my eyes, smiled bravely, and visibly gathered herself together.

  “Go on, Jonathan,” she said. “How often did you meet there?”

  He shrugged. “Several times before she left for Wichita. Maybe five or six times. We would just sit and talk.” He hung his head. “I could talk to Hannah about anything. She understands how I feel about … well, everything.”

  “So that night, the night she disappeared, you went to this same spot?” I asked.

  At my question, his eyes grew large. “No. That’s just it. My father and I worked hard in the fields that day. It was so hot, and I was so tired, I couldn’t stay awake. I didn’t wake up until the next morning.” He stared at Abel. “If only I’d gone, I could have saved her.”

  I thought about the place I’d found the bracelet. It
was about a mile away from my house, but it was on the road to Jonathan’s.

  “Would Hannah have tried to walk to your house if you didn’t show up?” I asked the upset young man.

  He thought about it for a moment. “I—I don’t know. I don’t think so. We’d told each other that if something should happen, if our parents weren’t sound asleep when we were supposed to leave, we should just forget it. If one of us didn’t show up, the other one was supposed to go home.”

  This information sure didn’t explain how Hannah’s bracelet got to where I’d found it. “Did she say what she wanted to talk to you about?”

  He nodded. “She said she had something to show me. Some new clothes she got in Wichita.”

  “Anything else?”

  “Yes. She had a gift for me. Something someone gave to her that she wanted me to have.”

  I picked up my purse and dug around in it until I found what I wanted. “Is this what she planned to give you?” I held up the bracelet I’d found on the road.

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. She didn’t tell me. She did say it was something I couldn’t wear in public. That I’d have to keep it a secret.”

  “It has to be this bracelet,” I said to Abel. “She didn’t bring anything else back that I know of.” I showed him the spacers that declared Love, Friend, and Forever. “I think she meant this as a way to tell Jonathan how she felt about him.”

  Abel took the bracelet from my hand. “But how did you get it?”

  I took a deep breath and told him about finding it on the road and how I was certain it was a message from Hannah to let us know she was taken against her will. I knew the knowledge wouldn’t comfort her parents, but I believed they needed to know the truth. About everything. When I finished telling them about the bracelet, I made a quick decision to spill my guts about the rest of it.