The Perfect Right Hook

by Amy DeMeritt

  “Callie, why would I dream that?”

  “I don’t know, maybe because you’re missing a day in your memory from the other night and you had such a bad migraine yesterday. How is your head by the way?”

  I touch my temple and realize the pain is a little better. “Not as bad as yesterday, actually. It still hurts, but I don’t feel like I have a knife trying to grow out of my brain poking out of my skull anymore.”

  “You’re so weird. Most people would describe it as a knife pushing into their head, but yours is growing out of your head.”

  “Well, I’ve had those kinds of headaches and migraines, but this one felt like there was stabbing pressure pushing out. What time is it? Why is it so dark?”

  “Because its only 2am. Why don’t you try to go back to sleep?” Callie starts to stand, but I grab her arm. “Can you stay?” She gives me a small smile and nods. “Ok, Pixie, move over some.”

  I scoot over and she slides in under my sheets with me. Now that she’s not sitting up in the band of light from the hall light, it’s hard to see her cocoa skin in my bed. I reach out for her and she takes my hand. Her strong familiar hand is comforting and my eyelids get heavy.

  When I wake up in the morning, I’m lying on my left side and I’m holding Callie’s arm around in front of me. Her body is close to mine and her strong arm is wrapped around me. I release her hand to reach over to slap the snooze on my alarm clock, causing her to roll over and stretch.

  “Your bed is so uncomfortable. How do you sleep on this lumpy rock?”

  “I guess I’ve gotten used to it.”

  “My body hurts just from the few hours I laid in it. No wonder you have fucking horrible nightmares; your fucking bed is torturing your body every damn night. We’re going mattress shopping this week. This thing needs to be throw into a pit to hell. Oh god, I feel like Ronda Rousey was using my body as a punching bag.”

  “Yeah, you wish Ronda Rousey used your body as a punching bag.”

  “Damn straight. She’s a fucking wet dream. I’d let her fist me all day if she wanted to.”

  “Ugh, gross. Don’t say shit like that when you are laying under the sheets with me.” Callie lets out a loud deep husky laugh. “Coming from the girl that made me cuddle her for like three hours this morning.”

  “Whatever. I need to pee.” I climb out of bed and go down the hall to my bathroom. When I look in the mirror, I exhale deeply and holler out to Callie, “Damn it, Callie! Why did you have to bust my bottom lip last night?”

  This is just great. Normally, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal because I rarely leave my desk and only see the few people on my team, but this week I’ll be back and forth through the halls more, and working at probably at least a dozen different user’s desks fixing issues.

  When I come back into the bedroom, Callie is sitting up in my bed rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Next time, warn a person you have a fucking migraine. But I don’t know what you’re complaining about. You’ve always looked hot with a small cut here or there or a little busted lip. It makes you look tough, and your midget ass can use some help in that department.”

  “Ass.” I roll my eyes and go out to my small dine-in kitchen to get something for breakfast. Callie saunters in a few minutes later while I’m cutting some strawberries to put over yogurt with granola.

  “Add a scoop of protein powder to that, Pixie. You didn’t eat dinner last night and after thrashing around on the bed like you were this morning, you’re going to need it.”

  After fixing us both a bowl, we go sit on my balcony to eat. It’s a beautiful day out, almost too beautiful to be bothered with going to work.

  “I’m going to show up at Tina’s gym today and try to shake someone down to figure out where the hell she’s hiding out. I’ve never seen you like this, and I really want some answers.”

  “Just don’t get arrested; it’s not worth it. You know Tina wouldn’t hesitate to try and get you put away. You’re her only real competition in this upcoming regional’s match and she won’t stop at anything to go pro.”

  “I might be her only real competition, but she’s not mine. I eat bitches like her for breakfast.” She gives me a cocky grin and licks her lips. I roll my eyes and go back to eating my yogurt. Callie loves to portray this nasty sex maniac persona, but she’s one of the most fiercely loyal lovers I’ve ever known – not from personal experience because we’ve never been anything more than friends, but every girlfriend she has ever had she was completely devoted to, even if the girl wasn’t devoted to her.

  When I get to work, I quickly scan through the ticket system to see what I have to deal with this morning. There are a few password resets, which are super easy and I don’t have to leave my desk for, so I pound those out really quick. The rest are tickets I can’t avoid leaving my desk to resolve. I spend the next few hours hopping from desk to desk resolving issues and spend a good hour or so fixing a printer that became cannibalistic and not only ate about seven pieces of paper, but somehow ate some of its own parts. By the time I’m finished with the printer, its working better than ever because I am just so freaking awesome, but my hands are now covered in its black blood from the extreme battle.

  I’m alone in the bathroom trying to scrub the ink out of my hands and nails, so I can go get some lunch, when Alex comes in letting out a loud frustrated sound. She spots me and blushes.

  “Day two of ‘new kid in school’ hell?” She lets out a small laugh and nods. “Something like that. What happened to your lip?” I dry my hands and turn to look at her. She takes me by surprise by gently taking my chin in her thumb and forefinger to examine the small cut Callie gave me last night. She gently brushes her thumb across the cut and looks in my eyes with those mesmerizing seafoam green eyes of hers. The gesture, while not unwelcome and I’m enjoying her gentle cool hand on me, seems too familiar since we only met yesterday. She blushes and pulls back. “I’m sor…” I cut her off before she can apologize because it’s completely unnecessary. “I got it boxing at the gym last night. My friend snuck in a good shot that I wasn’t fast enough to block.”

  “You box? Isn’t that dangerous?” I shrug my shoulders. “It can be.” Before she can respond, someone comes in. She seems to switch gears or something and straightens up a little taller. “If you have time now, I put in a ticket a few minutes ago that’s kind of urgent.” I smile and nod. “Ok, I’ll come over in a few minutes.”

  I was planning on going to lunch now, but for some reason, I’m willing to put that on hold for her. If it was anyone else, I would have told them they have to wait. I go back to my desk, read the ticket, and since I don’t need any special equipment, I head down to her office.

  She’s already waiting in her chair when I get there. I tap on her door frame and she looks over smiling.

  “Sorry to ambush you in the bathroom like that.”

  “No worries.” I step into her office and she stands from her chair so I can sit at her desk. She leans against her desk next to me with her arms folded and watches me. I get that odd comforting, peaceful feeling again that I got yesterday when I had to wire her office for power. It’s weird that her presence would cause me to feel so safe and at ease when I don’t know anything about her.

  “So, are all the boys and girls not playing nice again today?” She laughs and smiles broadly. “They are some of the most miserable people I’ve ever met. But I never said that.” I laugh and shake my head. “Your secret disappointments in your team are safe with me.”

  “Thanks. I just really want to get out of here for a little bit. They are just so negative about everything that I feel like I have a dark cloud hovering over me.”

  “Well, you’re in luck. I’m about to escape from this place for lunch as soon as I finish with your ticket. I’ll rescue you from the angry villagers for an hour, if you want.” She laughs and sighs relief. “You’re funny. And, thanks, I’d like to take you up on that.”

  “Great, because I’m finished and I�
�m starving. Do you need a few minutes or are you ready now?”

  “Nope, I’m ready. Let me just shoot my team lead a message to let him know I’m stepping out.” I stand and walk to her office door and wait. When she stands, she looks at me with such a warm happy smile that I feel my own face spread into a wide smile and my ab muscles clench with glee.

  When we get out to the parking lot, I start walking towards my car and smile when Alex doesn’t even hesitate to follow me. It’s not that I’m controlling, but I prefer to drive over being a passenger. When I reach my car, Alex grins as she starts to open the door of my Prius.

  “When you told me you box, I half expected you to drive a truck or a crotch rocket.” I laugh and get in my driver’s side. “No, I don’t have a Napoleon complex or need to compensate for my lack of height with a truck. And a crotch rocket? Really? If I’m going to ride a bike, it’s going to be a Harley or a Honda Indian.”

  “So, I was kind of close? You would ride a motorcycle?” I laugh and shake my head. “No, not at all. Their risk to thrill ratio isn’t balanced enough for me to consider them fun and they just don’t appeal to me.”

  “My dad has a big Harley. He’s taken me out on it a few times and I was terrified each time.”

  “Do you have a preference of where we get lunch?”

  “Well, before you rescued me from the pitch forks and torches of my team, where were you planning on going?” I smile at her continuation of my joke. “There’s a stir fry and ramen place across the street that I really like.”

  “That sounds good. I’m fine with that.”

  When we get to the restaurant, I grab one of the menus from a holder next to the door and hand it to Alex as we get in line. “They have eight bowls you can pick from or you can make your own. If you make your own, you’ll pick what kind of rice or noodle you want, one protein, up to three veggies, and a sauce or broth.”

  “What do you recommend?”

  “Well, ask for light sauce unless that’s all you want to taste and avoid the garlic chili sauce unless you anticipate your team will turn into a coven of vampires by the time you get back.” She laughs and looks down at the menu. “Hm… maybe I should drink a barrel of that garlic sauce since they already seem to be sucking the life out of me.” I laugh hard. “How about we take less stinky protective measures and stop in at a Catholic church for some holy water on the way back? We’ll put it in a spray bottle or a water gun and you can just spritz them when they act up like you would do to an evil house cat.”

  “Deal.” She looks up at me and laughs. “I think I’m going to end up laughing in the face of the first person from my team I see when I get back. All I can see in my head is all of them with those horrible stereotypical painted on black widow’s peaks on their foreheads and powder white skin with the plastic vampire fangs that fall out of your mouth when you try to talk.”

  “Not sparkling, glittering skin and brooding faces?” She laughs hard. “Now I am.”

  After we get our food, we take a seat at a high-top table by the window. I’m impressed when Alex actually uses chop-sticks instead of a fork. I think to be able to fully appreciate a meal you should appreciate the culture and its origins and eat the meal as the people of its roots would eat it. When I go for Moroccan, they don’t give you a fork there either. They give you pita bread to pick up and scoop up your food with. It’s the whole “when in Rome” concept and it really does make a difference on an experience.

  “So, how did you get into boxing?” I explain to her how I got started as a way to protect myself as a kid and she nods in an understanding way. “You’re not fighting off school bullies anymore though, so why do you keep doing it if you can get hurt?” She looks at my busted lip and then back into my eyes. “It’s a good outlet for stress and its good exercise.”

  “You can get both of those from other sports without risking a head injury or broken ribs. Have you ever tried yoga?” I laugh at the irony that she would mention those two factors when both are the reasons I have the best friend I’ve ever had – Callie. “While I don’t see the point in the risks of riding a motorcycle, some risky activities are worth the rewards or outcomes. And no, I’ve never done yoga; it seems boring.”

  “Well, it depends on the type of yoga you do. Some are more meditative, while others are faster paced cardio. Either way, they all make you work hard and definitely help with my stress.”

  “I don’t know. It doesn’t seem like something that would push me enough.” Alex grins at me in a challenging way. “Come to a class with me. I bet you’ll leave feeling differently.”

  “I’ll only go to a yoga class if you try boxing.”

  “Why, do you want to bust my lip open for having to wire my office yesterday and for the attitude I gave you about it?” I laugh hard and shake my head. “I don’t need to get you in the ring to get you back for that; I could easily sabotage you from my own desk. Don’t worry, I’ll put my kid gloves on for you.” Alex smiles and extends her hand for me to shake. “Ok, you have yourself a deal.” I shake her hand and immediately feel warmth spread up my arm and through my whole body. We both smile and then release each other’s hands.

  “So, what was it like being of normal height growing up?” Alex looks up from her food and laughs. “Is that a serious question?”

  “Yes, it’s a serious question. I want to know what it was like not being the shrimp in school.”

  “Well, I don’t know how to answer that. Do you get picked on at work for your height?”

  “Not really. A couple friends may call me Shorty or something, but no, I guess not.”

  “Then, that’s probably the answer to your question. Whatever you feel like now is probably what it was like for me then. I was actually a little tall for my age for a few years and a couple friends liked to call me Stilts, but no one else really teased me for my height. I still had bullies growing up though. A couple girls I had to go through six years of school with used to make fun of my eyes – they called me Glass Eye Alex.”

  “What? You can’t be serious. They really made fun of your eyes? That really pisses me off.” She smiles, just looking in my eyes a moment before asking, “Why?”

  “Because, they weren’t teasing you about something undesirable like being short or having acne or braces, which is normal jerk behavior. They were teasing you about something beautiful and exquisitely unique about you. They tried to make you feel bad about something you should feel amazing about. That’s evil on a whole other level. I really want to hunt down those evil Brown Eyed Betty’s.”

  “How do you know they had brown eyes?” Alex hasn’t stopped grinning since my shocked reaction that they would tease her about her eyes.

  “Weren’t they?”

  “Yes, but what does that have to do with it?”

  “Well, isn’t it obvious? They were jealous that they were just generic; you couldn’t pick their eyes out of line up to save their lives. But not you, I could put your eyes next to thousands, maybe millions, and still pick you out of the crowd.” She’s grinning, but also blushing. “I’ll have to make sure if I commit a crime that I wear sunglasses then; I can’t make it so easy on the witnesses to identify me. Thanks for the tip.” I laugh really hard. “Glad I could be of assistance in keeping your ass out of jail. With eyes like those, all those women in orange jump suits would be shanking each other to make you their woman. It would be a blood bath; it would be a murderous crime to lock you up with all those horny women.” Alex laughs really hard and her face gets beet red.

  Before we leave to head back to work, we joke a little longer about what kind of contraband she would accept from advancing fellow inmates trying to “court” her in prison. I think it’s cute that her guaranteed “seal the deal” contraband would be a pack of colored pencils, one of those adult coloring books, and an eraser.

  When we get back to work, and we’re about to separate in the hall so she can go to her office and I can go to my desk, I pull out a small dip container of
the garlic chili sauce and hand it to her. “Just in case.” She takes the sauce and looks at it puzzled for a minute, but then her eyes get big in recognition of what it is and our conversation about her vampire team comes back to her. Alex laughs loudly, causing more than a few heads to turn. She quickly covers her mouth, trying to silence her laugh. Once she’s able to suppress her laughter, she quietly says, “Thank you for rescuing me from the life sucking necromancers today. Lunch was a lot of fun. Next time, I pay. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Sounds good.”

  I really had a great time with Alex at lunch. It was fun how we both could bounce off each other and joke around while still actually having a conversation with actual depth and meaning. It’s so hard to find a person like that, someone that you can have a good conversation with and laugh with at the same time.

  Just as I sit down at my desk, Regina comes into my cubicle. “Hey, I have an urgent ticket I need you to jump on. The VP is barking like a rabid dog. His laptop is on the fritz and he has to travel for business tomorrow.”

  “Ok, I’ll go check it out.”

  When I get to his office, I feel like I need one of those thick body suits used to protect the fake “bad guy” when training police dogs. His plump face and bulging fat neck are beet red with rage and his eyes look crazy.

  “It’s about time. I have to fly to New York tomorrow morning to meet with a client. I must have a working computer before I leave today.”

  “Absolutely. Can you tell me what the issue is?”

  I watch him frenetically wave his arms around as he explains what’s happening and almost get dizzy trying to follow the nearly incoherent angered explanation. I virtually have to use a crowbar to leverage him out of his chair so I can look at his laptop. He hovers over my shoulder pointing to the screen and barking out, “See, look at what it’s doing”. It really isn’t this serious.

  “I’m going to need to take this back with me to run some virus scans and debug the effected programs.” It’s not really necessary, but I can’t have him breathing on my neck and screaming like an idiot while I’m trying to work. He backs up and I detach his laptop from its docking station. As I walk towards his office door, I notice him start to follow me. I turn in my tracks and stop. “I’ll bring it back as quickly as possible. It shouldn’t take long.” He looks at me with narrowed eyes and looks like he’s holding his breath. I’m not staying to watch his boiling pimple of a head pop. I turn and walk away before he can object.