The White Whispers

by Kizzie Hayes

  “We thought you might like to take the long way,” was Cash’s remark as he led the way with his hands and helped me up to where Andy was sitting only to present me with an overflowing bouquet of white and pink roses.

  “Happy birthday, baby,” he said and kissed me on the lips as I sat to receive them. I sat between my darlings and smiled from ear to ear as we enjoyed the ride just for fun.

  Later on I waited until mother arrived for us all to drive to the dinner together to step out in my gown. I did so softly and shyly almost, wearing the most delicate shoes and light pink earrings.

  “Oh my lord!” Mom cried, and the boys gasped the same with wows, “you are a real princess,” she said and I almost thought she might cry for a second. I did a slight twirl and for the rest of the evening enjoyed being on top of my birthday world, my cake and the city, as feeling once again like the luckiest woman to walk the night.

  *****

  Days without Andrew went on for both of us with an air of dragging and we felt his absence, though tried not to show it and keep ourselves busy. Cash was out of town here and there himself, so I simply stayed on task. I took lots of bubble baths, went for massages twice and sometimes three times a week, I shopped and I read and I wrote. Days rounded, weeks passed and things felt a little different, more than I could pinpoint why, and I felt it veered from just Andy’s absence.

  I was quietly enjoying a book and some iced tea out at the park by myself when Cash called me.

  “Hey, I just got in, I thought you’d be home around this time of the month,” he said almost jokingly but sounded quite serious in undertone actually.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “Holly, I… can you come home?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be there in a few,” I said and we hung up. Something was wrong. I walked in the door and he was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “Holly, listen, I didn’t want you to worry but…” I raised my eyes to question and sat across from him. “I got a call a week ago that Andy’s team hadn’t responded and disappeared. I didn’t want to worry you. They assured me that the divers were probably fine but protocol was to call it in. Today they’ve called me and it’s way worse. Their main ship was found abandoned and damaged, no sign of the divers and no radio call for 8 days now. The officer I spoke to said they won’t close the case but considering their location and nature of the dives they were doing they’ve all thrown in the towel.”

  I stood up, “What!? Thrown in the towel?!”

  “He said they wouldn’t stop looking but that from the way it seemed there was little to no hope.” I sat silent. It would do no good to be angry, I heard what words he was given. I stared of with a surge of desperation creep up and put my face in my hands and just cried.

  “We just have to wait to hear,” he said, and hugged me.

  Those days were long and there was something much bigger to pass the time about now. I didn’t take bubble baths. I didn’t get massages. Or shop. Or read. I just stared off and waited. Meanwhile there was a bigger worry brewing in the back of my mind, which with what was going on, I could only keep private. Mother would come over to comfort me and bring me food but with all the emotions and lack of definition to life, I felt helpless. I missed him. He was the sweetest man alive, he just couldn’t go like this. Andy wasn’t much of a fighter, he was strong and would surprise you, but… I just couldn’t accept that he was gone.

  Cash was out of sorts, too and began to drink heavily to forget everything, and he didn’t know what to do. He kept saying he wanted to go find him, but knowing he didn’t have a clue where to look or how to do it better than who was already, he stayed with me.

  The summer began to look hot out and I barely left the house, I just couldn’t bear to do anything. I often found myself just standing at the window and staring out. Life with only us two would not do. Half of my whole heart was in his hands.

  Mother came one day and gently insisted I come with her out to have some lunch, just to get some fresh air. It had been four weeks since Andy’s crew had completely disappeared and still no one had heard a thing.

  She managed to cheer me up with her perfect motherly way, convincing me to stay strong and not lose hope and think about what Andy would want me to do. I shed a tear but with a bittersweet half smile, and rose to put some real clothes on.

  I put on a dress to perk me up and in the back of my mind was something I also wanted to speak with her about, personally. I knew just the one, the Alexander McQueen silk chiffon sweet pea gown I had been saving for something special and for the day and purposes it was perfect. We ate al fresco and I turned down wine.

  “I’m surprised with everything going on that you, too haven’t been drinking more. I always do when I’m really stressed about something to take the edge off. Although Cash has taken things a bit far by the looks of his eyes, I understand why. How has he been?” Mother asked.

  “Not so good,” I said, “but having me to take care of helps him hang in there… I haven’t wanted alcohol though, lately.”

  We ordered and ate and I stared off a lot the way I had been. With thoughts of emptiness and Andy at sea.Praying. It was so good to be with mother, and really just being with her relaxed and energized me. I wanted to talk to her about what was on my mind so bad but I just couldn’t find the words. Something was missing, it wasn’t time yet.

  We pulled up to the house and she offered to walk me up but I told her I’d be okay and how lovely the afternoon was and thanked her and hugged her. Before I went in to our place I happened to glance at my phone, which I realized had been off, when I saw 29 missed calls!

  My heart was skipping beats and it was Cash calling. Shit. What happened? I started panting, and felt I just couldn’t take it, couldn’t take any news. He wouldn’t call me like that unless it was big news or he really needed me badly. I walked up to see if he was home before calling him and didn’t see him, so I went to call him on his cell when I thought I heard his voice outside. I went out the living room doors to the terrace and nearly had a heart attack. Andy!

  Andy! I ran crying to Andy and Cash sitting on the terrace and they stood, I jumped to hug Andy and never let him go. I sobbed my eyes out and held him so tight. With my tear covered face buried in his chest I didn’t care where he had been I just didn’t want to ever let him go. I looked at Cash and he was wiping the tears running down his cheeks.

  “We were going to die, Andy,” I spoke out crying, looking into his eyes, “we were going to die without you.”

  He hugged me so tight and so gently saying, “I’m so sorry babe, I’m okay. I won’t leave you. I’m right here.” I held on to him tight and from the side looked at Cash and outstretched my arm for him to come and take my hand. He came near and I looked at both of them with crying tears.

  Still sobbing, I said, “I’m pregnant.”

  Both of their jaws dropped and I don’t remember the remarks of shock but with smiles and confirmations it quickly turned to sobbing laughter and we were all hugging. I cried through my tears how I’d known for a while, and couldn’t bear to think of it with him gone.

  “It must’ve been that morning, my birthday,” I said. We were the happiest three we could be. We didn’t know who’s it was, we didn’t know if it would be a boy or a girl, but we knew—all of us now, that we were going to have a baby, a family. Being submerged in the most beautiful and sweet love in the world, all my worries about us having a child melted away as all the other worries did and I knew we were going to be just fine.

  THE END

  Another bonus story is on the next page.

  Bonus Story 7 of 44

  Jasmine Life is Hip Love is a Gift

  “Dude, look at her.”

  Travis looked up from his computer and immediately wished he hadn’t. But it was too late. She had already caught his eye.

  “What are you looking at?” Jasmine Vargas barked, giving him a look so co
ld that Travis felt a hard shiver down his spine.

  “N-n…” He couldn’t get the words out so he just stuttered out sounds.

  “Cat got your tongue?” Jasmine arched one of her eyebrows. They were a perfectly styled—or drawn—or whatever women did to their face to make that perfect thin arch over each eye lid. She also had a small eyebrow piercing there and a stud in her nose. Today, her hair was braided and twisted up into a high faux-hawk, as spiky and confrontational as her voice was.

  “I catch you staring again,” Jasmine said. She made a snipping motion with her fingers and then pointed down towards his crotch. Travis felt his cheeks heating up immediately. Jasmine left, the echo of her heels spreading through the entire fifth floor. Cyrus started laughing as soon as she was out of sight.

  “Dude.” Cyrus couldn’t get his words together. “You got… schooled. She played you so bad.”

  Travis rolled his eyes, turning back to his computer. He didn’t need this. He had so much coding to do it was ridiculous. He shouldn’t listen to Cyrus. He knew that.

  But when he heard Jasmine walking through their section of the office, it was hard to look away.

  People thought he and Jasmine should be best friends because they were two of the few black people at the company. But the truth was, Travis was nothing like Jasmine.

  He was just as intimidated as they were.

  Travis ran a hand over his face. He had to get a hold of himself.

  Vitality Pharmaceuticals was a big company. The building had 20 floors and there were VP employees working on all of them. It was easy to get caught up in your own unit. Travis himself rarely wandered out of the IT hub on the sixth floor. Why would he need to? All his co-workers were there. They had a really sweet kitchen with unlimited snacks and a Starbucks barista who made free drinks from 8 to 9 am for people who actually showed up to work early.

  In IT, Travis had been in contact with nearly everyone in the company over email. Their conversations usually revolved a lost password. That was good enough for him.

  Until Jasmine started showing up on their floor.

  The theory was that she was lured by the free Starbucks. It was a 6th floor IT hub perk. Every floor had something different. The animal lab technicians in the basement got weekly puppy therapy. It was rumored that the suits on the top floor got strippers. But IT guys (and the few women who worked in the department) got Starbucks.

  The IT guys and Jasmine.

  There wasn’t an official rule that the perks were exclusive to the people who worked on the floor, but everyone pretty much knew that. Except for Jasmine. Travis remembered as he and the guys watched Jasmine on the first day. She ordered an iced venti triple espresso vanilla white mocha and then stood right there and drank the whole thing on the spot without pausing, whipped cream and all. The she ordered another one.

  Travis couldn’t help noticing that she had a fantastic ass.

  “Where did she come from?” Cyrus whispered back then. Since they were IT, it didn’t take them long to do some research.

  She was new in pharmaceutical sales. They called them the Pharm Bots. Most of the employees in sales were very good looking, smooth talkers. They were the popular kids in high school come to life in a work environment. They weren’t loud and flashy but everyone knew when they were around. Pharm bots expected respect but they didn’t demand it.

  Jasmine didn’t get that memo either.

  Now things were very interesting on the sixth floor.

  “Why does she use our bathroom?” Cyrus said to him, shaking Travis out of his thoughts. “You think it’s because like way less women use the restroom here than Pharmland? That’s smart.”

  Travis didn’t have much comment. Thinking about Jasmine in the bathroom led him to imagine her naked and that wasn’t a very good situation at all.

  Well, at least not for work.

  “Guys,” Eddie Larson said, popping over the cubicle wall. “Check your email. We just got a crazy message.”

  “Phishing again?” Cyrus sighed. Travis clicked on his latest message.

  He stared for a moment. It was crazy.

  “A mixer?”

  “Who do you think came up with that idea!” Eddie barked with a laugh.

  “They’re going to force us to socialize?” Cyrus said from the other cube wall. “This is a first.”

  Travis shook his head. This was Vitality Pharmaceuticals. They were sectioned off like a pill organizer. There were no mixers. Everyone had their own thing. They didn’t socialize with outsiders.

  “Did you notice who organized it?” Eddie asked.

  Travis turned back to the invitation and read it again.

  Hey, everybody. It’s time to stop being boring and time to start acting like human beings who know how to have a good time. So if you dare, join me for the first all-company after-work mixer, this Thursday at 6 pm at Richen Bar. Be there or be a square. Which means a loser bitch. XoXo - Jasmine Vargas

  “A loser bitch!” Cyrus read out loud with a laugh. “I guess that’s me.”

  “Wait a moment,” Eddie said. “You’re missing this.”

  “No way people are going,” Cyrus said. “Right?”

  Travis felt their eyes on him. He looked up at them and shrugged.

  “I’ve got an idea to make it interesting,” Eddie said, giving them a slow smile. “What do you think about that?”

  “What did you have in mind?” Travis asked. He thought he should contribute something to the conversation.

  “You know Mrs. Teasely’s computer virus?”

  Cyrus made a face and gave a hard shudder. Travis felt the same way. Mrs. Teasley was about two months from retirement in HR and it couldn’t come sooner. Everyone knew she spent her days watching cat videos anyway. That’s why she always got those stupid viruses on her work computer because she refused to install ad-block.

  “Let’s have a bet,” Eddie said. “She has three tickets in the system now. Whoever fixes their ticket last loses. I’ll assign them by random.”

  “And what happens when you losers lose this bet?” Cyrus asked with a cocky grin on his face.

  Eddie looked between the both of them, nodding slowly. He looked very pleased with himself as well.

  “Whoever loses the bet will have to ask Jasmine Vargas out at the mixer,” Eddie said. Travis’s mouth dropped open. “In front of everyone.”

  They shook on it.

  *****

  Jasmine stole a stapler on her first day.

  It was simple. She didn’t have a stapler at her desk. She saw a stapler at someone else’s desk. She took it. Everything was fine.

  Until HR came over.

  “Excuse me,” a squat, overweight old lady said after she waddled over. “Jasmine, isn’t it?”

  Jasmine stared at her. First of all, the fat old lady had given her orientation paperwork only a few hours ago. Jasmine was sure she remembered her. Jasmine remembered that lady and there were plenty of old white people around here. There weren’t many black women. In fact, so far, Jasmine was the only one at the company, as far as she knew.

  “What?” Jasmine said.

  “Well, yes,” the HR lady continued. “I wanted to give you a reminder. It’s a simple thing but we take personal boundaries very seriously around here. It’s considered poor form to take property from another person’s desk.”

  “Who told you that?” Jasmine asked, staring the old lady down.

  “Well, I’m not at liberty—”

  “So you don’t know who said it,” Jasmine said. “Does that mean it was even said?”

  “Yes it was said but I cannot—”

  “If you do not have evidence or a person who has reported this alleged theft, then I believe you are accusing me without due cause,” Jasmine said, evenly. “And then I will be forced to believe you are targeting me because of some external reason. Perhaps this is workplace discrimination. Perhaps I should be speaking to someone about how minorities are treated at this establishment, es
pecially since I did not have a stapler on my desk in the first place.”

  Jasmine stared the HR lady down. Eventually, she just left.

  Then Jasmine emptied out the used the staples on the bitch’s desk who snitched on her. But she still kept the stapler.

  Other than that, the most exciting thing that happened was discovering Starbucks on the 6th floor.

  Jasmine wasn’t one to listen to the rules. That didn’t mean she didn’t know them. It became clear very quickly that everyone in this company liked to stick with their own. They had Friday “mocktail” parties on the 8th floor. Jasmine thought they were ridiculous. During lunch, some acclaimed mixologist would come and everyone would ooooo and ahhhh as they made some non-alcoholic junk fake fizz with dry ice. It always tasted like a mix between sprite and cough syrup. Very gross and also, very eighth grade. Jasmine though the pharma reps were supposed to be sophisticated. Maybe they wore the right jewelry and heels, but they had no class or sophistication at all.

  Maybe Starbucks wasn’t class and sophistication but the most important thing was that it was free. Jasmine went to the sixth floor for a deliberate reason. Tech guys were nerds and nerds made apps and apps made money. She decided to scope out who might be on the cutting edge of a quick billion dollars. She didn’t see anyone who met her standards but she did discover Starbucks.

  Close enough.

  Now going to the sixth floor added just a little bit of pathetic excitement to her day.

  She couldn’t deny it. She loved the way the geeks would stare at her. Jasmine had a certain way of dressing for work. High heels, tight dresses, un-boring hair, and bold lipstick. She was pretty sure that’s why they hired her. Well, along with her connection, an old boyfriend who worked on the 14th floor in research, but she got bored with him. The look was what really got her the job. They had to be bored with the same-old, same-old.