She stiffened as the baby kicked, and she rubbed the bulge of her stomach and smiled. As soon as the doctor had told her the baby was a boy, she had named him Max after her father. Her son already owned her heart, and she knew her love for him would only grow stronger once he arrived. It wouldn’t be much longer. Already she was counting the days until his birth.
Someone entered the den, and she looked over her shoulder to see Richard walking toward her. He and his father had disappeared into the study soon after dinner and left her alone. They’d been doing that a lot lately, and she wondered what they talked about. They didn’t seem worried about the business, so that couldn’t be it. The thought had crossed her mind that they might be concerned about her and Max, but they hadn’t said anything.
She smiled as Richard stopped next to the sofa. “Where’s Edward?”
Richard put his hands in his pockets and stared down at her. “He’s gone upstairs. He seemed tired tonight. I’ve been concerned about him lately. Have you noticed anything?”
She frowned at the thought that Edward might be ill and sat up straighter. “No. Do you think anything’s wrong?”
Richard rubbed the back of his neck and walked over to stare into the fire. After a moment he turned around and faced her. “He’s been talking a lot about changing his will.”
“Changing his will?” Lainey stood up slowly. “Why would he do that?”
“Because he wants to protect his company.”
Lainey walked over and stood next to Richard. “I don’t understand. How would he change it? I assumed you and Ash would inherit equally in it.”
He shook his head. “Ash told Dad in no uncertain terms that he wanted nothing to do with the business and that he doubted if he would even live in St. Claire when he came back. So he’s thinking of changing it to give me the company with Max to inherit from me.”
“What?” Lainey’s eyes grew wide. “But that’s not fair, Richard. When you marry, you’ll have children, and they need to be provided for, too. Has he thought of that?”
Richard reached out and took her hand in his and led her back to the sofa. When they sat down, they turned to face each other, their knees touching. “Lainey,” he began, “you know I had cancer when I was a teenager.”
She nodded. “Ash told me. But you’re fine now.” A wave of panic welled up in her, and she tightened her grip on his hand. “You are all right, aren’t you?”
He smiled. “I’m in remission. But I had a lot of chemo and radiation when I was young. It left me sterile. I can never have children.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Oh, Richard. I’m so sorry.”
He waved a hand in dismissal. “It’s all right. I came to grips with it many years ago. So you can see why this baby is so important to Dad.”
“I’m glad. I want Max to have a family.”
Richard swallowed and bit down on his lip before he responded. “I have something I need to tell you, Lainey. You told me not to get in touch with Ash, but I felt like I had to let him know about the baby.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Oh, Richard. I didn’t want. . .”
He held up a hand to stop her. “It doesn’t matter. I tried and tried, but the only reply I ever got was that he couldn’t be reached.”
She nodded. “I know. Colt and Reese told me that they would be out of touch for fourteen months. It wouldn’t have made any difference if you had. I’ve come to realize that what Ash and I want is different, and I have to decide what is best for my son.”
“That’s why Dad is talking about changing his will. He wants Max to inherit.”
“I’m glad that Edward wants to remember Max in his will, but I don’t think he should count on our staying in St. Claire. I don’t know what I’m going to do or where I’ll be living. It’s impossible to plan right now.”
“I know,” he said. He took a deep breath. “I haven’t questioned you about where you’re going, but I feel like I have to now. Would you still marry Ash if he came back?”
She sighed. If only she had the answers. “I’ve thought about that ever since Ash left, and I’ve decided that a marriage between us just wasn’t meant to be. He needs the adventure and thrill of living on the edge, and I need stability. I want a home and a husband who’s there for dinner every night. A man who will play ball with his son in the back yard and take us all on family vacations. I don’t think Ash will ever be able to do those things.”
Richard’s thumb rubbed across her knuckles, and he stared down at her hand. “I don’t think so either.” He hesitated for a moment. “But he might surprise us. He could come back in a year and want to marry you and be a father to his child.”
She shook her head. “Ash chose what he wanted, and it’s a life I can’t live. I’ve had to face the fact that it just wasn’t meant to be with us. He can’t give me what I want.”
Richard swallowed. “I could.”
“What?” Her voice vibrated in shock. “Richard, what are you talking about?”
“I’m asking you to marry me, Lainey.”
Her mouth dropped open, and she shook her head. What was he saying? Was he crazy? “Richard, do you know—?”
He held up a hand. “Hear me out before you say anything. Surely you know I was captivated by you the first night Ash brought you to dinner. As I got to know you better, I discovered I was falling in love with you. I tried to ignore my feelings. You were with Ash, and I would never have said anything if Ash were here. But now he’s gone, and I won’t be silent anymore.”
“Richard. . .”
“Let me say all this while I have the nerve to do it, Lainey. I can give you and Max the kind of life you want, and he will be my son. My son, Lainey. Not Ash’s. Mine. And he will have the DeHan name and inherit everything my father has worked for, everything I’ve worked for. Max deserves the life his family wants to give him.”
Lainey frowned and closed her eyes as she rubbed her hand across her forehead. When she looked at Richard again, his unwavering stare bore into her. “Have you thought about what we’d do if Ash realized Max was his son and wanted to be a part of his life?”
Richard shrugged. “We would face that problem together.”
“B-but what about Edward? What would he say if he knew you felt this way?”
“He knows.”
For a moment all she could do was stare into the blue eyes that were so unlike Ash’s. Richard was offering her something she would never have dreamed of, but she wasn’t sure he really knew what he was asking for.
A sad smile pulled at her lips, and she reached over and cupped Richard’s cheek in her hand. He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply as his head turned slightly toward her palm. His eyes opened as she eased her hand away.
“Richard, I’m so flattered by your proposal.” She stood and walked to the fireplace and then faced the couch where he still sat. “I’ve had a lot of time to think these past months, to examine my life. About the time I became a teenager, I made a vow that I would remain a virgin until I married the man I loved. I wanted to save myself for him. Then I met Ash, and that promise flew right out the window. I forgot who I was and who I’d wanted to be. The night Ash left I found out I was pregnant, and I thought God was punishing me by taking away what I wanted and giving me something I didn’t want.”
Richard rose to his feet. “You don’t have to tell me this.”
“I want to. That night I just wanted to die. I felt so alone and deserted, and I thought I deserved it. Then you and Edward came. You saved my life. In more ways than one.”
He frowned and joined her by the fireplace. “How do you mean?”
“The way you took care of me, your concern for me and my baby, your making me feel like I wasn’t alone anymore. It’s been a long time since I’ve had those things. And as I’ve thought about it over the past few months, I’ve come to realize that even though I had disappointed myself, God still loved me. I might have lost Ash, but He sent you and Edward to me. And He also gave me the greatest gif
t I could ever have—Max. So I have to do whatever I think is best for him.”
“Then marry me and let me take care of both of you. Ash deserted you, Lainey. If he meant what he told Dad, and I assume he did, he’s never coming back to St. Claire. You’re going to have a baby who will have no father. This child is a DeHan and needs to take his place in this family. But most of all, he deserves the love and security that I can offer him.”
Lainey placed her hand on top of his. “No matter what Ash did, I still love him. I may always love him.”
He closed his eyes and grimaced. “I know.”
“But I also love you, Richard. You must know that.”
He nodded. “Like a brother, right? Not the way I wish, but it’s a start. We can build a good life together if you’ll just give me a chance.”
“But can you really marry me knowing that I’m still in love with your brother?”
He scooted closer to her. “I’ve asked myself that question a hundred times, and the answer is yes. I won’t lie and tell you that I won’t mind, because I will. I’m sure sometimes I’ll be so jealous that I’ll want to scream, but I won’t. I’ll take what you can give me and be thankful for it.”
“That’s so unfair to you.”
Richard shrugged. “Life’s not always fair. Ash wasn’t fair to you when he went off to the jungles of South America and left you pregnant. Maybe it wasn’t fair of you not to tell him about Max, but you didn’t. But to me, the most unfair thing is to make Max pay for what other people did. And it’s not fair of you to deprive him of his name and his heritage.”
Lainey could only stare at Richard. Was he right? Should she marry him so Max could take his rightful place in the DeHan family? She doubted if Ash would ever settle down enough to know the son he’d fathered. He’d had no problem leaving her, and a child wouldn’t make that much difference either. But marriage was a big step, and angry as she was at Ash, she still loved him. She probably always would.
So if there was no possibility of her falling in love with another person, why not accept Richard’s offer to give her what she wanted, what she thought best for Max? Somehow it still didn’t seem fair to Richard. He was a good man, maybe the best one she’d ever known, and she didn’t want to hurt him.
Could she live with him as his wife and still think about his brother? This decision couldn’t be made on the spur of the minute.
She pulled her hands free from Richard and stood up. “I don’t know what to say, Richard. You’ve taken me by surprise, and I don’t want to be unfair to you. Let me think about this and give you an answer tomorrow.”
He nodded and stood up. “Take all the time you need. But keep one thing in mind. I do love you, Lainey.”
She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m honored, Richard, and I thank you for what you’re offering me. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
He didn’t say anything as she left the room and climbed the stairs to her bedroom. She went straight to the desk, opened the top drawer, and pulled out the framed picture she’d kept there ever since she’d come to live at Edward’s home.
The photograph had been taken last summer when she and Ash had gone back to the shelter where they’d met. Another hiker had been there, and he’d taken the picture of them sitting on the bench where they’d first sat and talked.
She ran her fingers over the glass that covered their smiling faces, and her heart pricked at how happy they’d been that day. They were in love, and the world was theirs. But that had all come tumbling down, and now she was left to raise a fatherless child. How could Ash have left her alone?
She hugged the picture tighter and lay down on the bed with it clutched to her chest. Tears rolled down her face, and her heart broke for the second time. But this time it was for Max,
the little boy who would never know his father. Richard was right. She couldn’t let Max suffer because she and Ash had made mistakes.
After a long time, she stilled, her decision made, and surrendered to the sleep that overtook her.
Chapter 14
Richard and Edward were already eating breakfast when she entered the dining room the next morning. They both smiled and stood, as was their custom when she entered the room, and murmured their good mornings in unison. She returned the smile and glanced from one to the other as she settled herself in her chair.
Millie swept in from the kitchen, set a glass of orange juice in front of her, and poured her a cup of coffee. “I’ll have your oatmeal and fruit ready in a few minutes, Miss Lainey. Is there anything else I can get you this morning?”
Lainey shook her head. “No, thank you, Millie. That sounds good.”
When Millie had disappeared back into the kitchen, Lainey glanced across the table where Richard faced her. He glanced down at his plate and picked up his fork. As he shoveled a bite of eggs into his mouth, his hand trembled. He darted another glance at her and then picked up his coffee.
Lainey couldn’t help but smile at his discomfort. For the first time since she’d known him, she realized how his feelings drifted up from inside him and shone through on his face. And she also realized he probably was the first person she’d ever met who had no need to hide his feelings underneath hardened layers in his soul. In fact Richard was the most loving person she’d ever met, and the most honest, the kind of a man she could spend her life with.
She took a deep breath and turned to Edward. “I suppose Richard has told you he proposed to me last night.”
Across the table Richard choked on a bite of eggs and clamped his napkin over his mouth as he coughed. Edward glanced his way. “Careful there, boy. No need to kill yourself.”
He looked back at Lainey and smiled. “Yes, he told me. And he said you didn’t accept.”
Millie returned at that moment with a bowl of oatmeal and a plate with slices of melon and bananas on it. Lainey speared a bite of the cantaloupe and put it in her mouth before responding. When she’d swallowed, she looked back at Richard, whose eyes were glued to her face.
“No, I didn’t answer him then, but I’m prepared to this morning.”
Edward pushed up from his chair. “Maybe I should leave you two alone.”
Lainey waved her hand in dismissal. “No need for that. After all, you and Richard seem to have discussed the futures of Max and me already. So we might as well all do this together now.”
Richard cleared his throat. “Lainey, I meant what I said last night. I hope I didn’t cause you any distress.”
She smiled and folded her hands in her lap. “You didn’t, Richard. It was just such a shock. I needed time. That’s all.”
Edward sank back into his chair. “What are you trying to tell us, Lainey?”
She’d thought she could do this without crying, but now she wasn’t so sure. Tears filled her eyes, and she blinked to keep them from rolling down her cheeks.
“I want you both to know,” she began, “that I never expected anything from either of you. When Ash left, I thought I was alone. I didn’t know how I could face being a single mother, but then the two of you showed up. You opened your home to me, you love my child, and you want to provide for both of us. These are all wonderful gifts.” She hesitated and let her gaze drift to Richard. “But last night Richard offered me the greatest gift of all—his unconditional love. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve all this.”
Richard’s eyes raked her face. “Just by being you, Lainey.”
A tear leaked from the corner of her eye, but she didn’t wipe it away. “I can’t promise you. . .” She paused and glanced at Edward. “And I can’t promise you. . .” Her gaze drifted back to Richard. “That I will ever forget him. I loved him with a passion I didn’t know I possessed, but I’ve come to see that it wasn’t enough for him. I need to let Ash go, so he can follow whatever path he wants to travel, and I need to reach for the life I want, the one that you’ve offered to me.”
Richard’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “What are you saying?”
She took a deep breath. “I’m saying that I would be honored to be your wife. I promise I will be faithful and true to you alone and will never give you reason to doubt why you asked me to marry you.”
Moisture sparkled in his eyes, and he reached his hand across the table. With a smile she laced her fingers with his. Edward pushed up from the table again and cleared his throat. “Now I think it’s time I left you two alone.” He walked around the table and kissed Lainey on the cheek. “You’re now an official member of the DeHan family, my dear, and it’s made me happier than anything has in a long while.”
“Thank you, Edward,” she murmured. He didn’t say anything else but glanced at Richard and nodded before he walked from the room.
When he was gone, Richard exhaled a long breath. “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”
“Well, I am. Ash wants to live an adventurous life all over the world, so now he can do that. I want a home and a family for my child, and I’ll have that. Edward wants his grandchild to have the DeHan name, and he will. You are the only one I’m concerned about. I want you to be happy, too.”
Richard’s eyes sparkled, and a small smile pulled at his lips. “ I’ll be happy with you.” He didn’t blink as his gaze moved over her face. “You’re so beautiful, Lainey, the most perfect woman I’ve ever known, and you’re going to be my wife. That’s all I need.”
“You’re such a good man, Richard. I know we can have a good life together.”
He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. “What kind of wedding do you want? Whatever you want, you can have.”
She shook her head. “No big wedding for me. Things like that aren’t important to me. I’d rather go down to the courthouse, get a license, and let a judge perform the ceremony. We’ll be just as married as we would if we’d planned a big wedding for months.”
He nodded. “If that’s what you want. When would like to do it?’
Igniting the Flame (Firebrand Series) Page 8
